December 2003 Column Of The Month - 'Let It Snow'
    Submitted by Stanman on Monday, January 12, 2004 at 8:21 PM EST

    NOTE: The following column was the winner of the Column Of The Month contest of December 2003. Each month, the winner of the contest gets to have one of his/her columns posted on the LOP main page. To read more columns like this one, visit the Columns forum on our message boards @ LOPforums.com.

    Without further delay, here is Winter and his column, Let It Snow. All feedback can be sent to jerichoholic113@hotmail.com. Enjoy!


    Hello Main Page

    Welcome to the latest and 28th edition of wrestling's coldest column, Let It Snow. Now, I know the first thing the LOP columns forum members are going to do is skip straight to the bottom to see if I've plugged them (that's what I do when someone wins anyway), so go and do that and then read from the beginning.

    Well, I may as well say a little about myself, as that's what everyone does when they win COTM. I've been writing columns on the LOP columns forum for around 5 months now. I live in Nottingham, England (yeah, that Robin Hood place) making me the second Brit in a row to win COTM. I May as well just get on with the column, nobody wants to read this.




    SLEET - Within You Without You
    Written by XanMan (Author of Northern Star, Putting The X In Wrestling, The X-Change and one half of Excuse The Aggravation



    "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward."--Soren Kierkegaard

    I said before Survivor Series happened that I wanted Steve Austin's team to lose so he could return with his old ass-kicking persona. But, instead, with his return we get pretty much the same guy we had as Co-GM, only now he can play by his own rules. One has to wonder if this is a good thing. After all, it's not like the ratings went through the roof with he and Bischoff as Co-GMs and it isn't like this is a big change from it.

    I know Austin isn't capable of being an in-ring performer anymore, and that is a shame for both he and the business. However, does that mean he has to stay in this same role? Once again we have the situation of a good guy in power vs. a bad guy in power. The same story played out over all of last year, why start it up again for 2004? It makes little sense to me, as I'm sure it will just be Austin getting the upper hand every single week just like last year.

    The WWF RAW brand has been very stale in the last 6 weeks of 2003, and it doesn't look like they are trying too hard to change anything about that. In December of 2002, we had Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels for the World Title. Now, just over a year later, the Royal Rumble headliner is once again Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels. Despite Flair and Bautista being the tag champs, the Dudleys are still the main tagteam being pushed. RVD and Booker T are still in approximately the same spots they were last year, and Jericho is as well.

    "He who finds Fortune on his side should go briskly ahead, for she is wont to favor the bold."--Baltasar Gracian

    So, with all these things remaining the same, why not give us a bit of freshness? Most believe the WWF is going downhill, so they need to have the courage to chart a new course, while still maintaining some advantages of the old. The old way doesn't work anymore, so it's time for a change, but it doesn't have to be a complete change. Parts of the past can be used to built a new and strong future.

    I'd start with Austin for this. The man may not be able to wrestle anymore, but he is truly the only proven draw on the RAW brand. So, he must be used. But not in the way he has been. There is no drama in Austin being able to one-up Bischoff's every decision. So, what do I suggest?

    I love the idea of Austin being the Sheriff of RAW. If nothing else, it's original. I mean, new commissioners, champs, and GMs have said for years, "There's a new sheriff in town". But, I honestly don't ever remember someone being the law enforcement officer of the show. But, Austin as Sheriff works well, especially with him going all Texas Justice and making his own laws. But, enforcing his laws should be his job, not making rulings. In other words, he shouldn't be able to overturn the decisions of officials or make rules to new matches. That's the GMs job.

    "An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory."--Friedrich Engels

    What I mean by new matches is, I don't think his position should have enabled him to make Mark Henry vs. RVD, as the GM had already decided that Henry got the I-C shot. Instead, he could have punished Long for his bad decision. But, the making of the Michaels/HHH match was okay because he was trying to right an injustice from the previous RAW. That's what I think Austin's role should be: righting the wrongs and punishing the guilty. Not making matches and rulings. He's not the judge, he's the sheriff.

    Not only do I think this works well with his title, but I think it will help build the drama better and add a new twist to the story. The noble sheriff trying to do what's right against the corrupt GM and owner in power, and (currently) the heel champs who hold all the belts. Sounds like the perfect modern Western to me.



    SNOW - WrestleMania XI review



    For the past 11 weeks now I've been reviewing the WrestleMania's, as a way to count down to WrestleMania XX. And as you may have guessed by the title, I'm now onto WrestleMania XI.


    Announcers - Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler

    Ring Announcer - Howard Finkle


    The Allied Powers (Lex Luger and 'The British Bulldog' DaveyBoy Smith v Jacob and Eli Blu w/ Uncle Zepakia

    Well, the Allied Powers certainly wasn't a high point in the career of either Luger or the Bulldog. I can't remember why these guys were put together but I'd guess the WWF had nothing better for them to do. The Blu's Brothers were pretty sloppy in this match, and couldn't generate any heat from the crowd. The match was ok, having the Bulldog and Luger in there guaranteed the crowd would enjoy it, but both guys deserved better than two useless hillbillies. Pretty average really, but an ok way to open up the show. The match had no highlights, and the finish came at about 6 minutes when the Bulldog pinned one of the twins with a top-rope sunset flip.

    Rating: 5 out of 10


    WWF Intercontinental Title match: 'Double J' Jeff Jarrett (c) w/ The Roadie v Razor Ramon w/ 1-2-3 Kid

    Now here I was expecting a very good, but unfortunately I didn't get one. Every single move in this match seemed so acted out it was almost comedic. This could have and should have been at least an ok match, but it seemed so unnatural it was impossible to really get into it. It wasn't a very long match anyhow. Somewhere in the middle Razor 'hurt' his leg, which Double J obviously took advantage of. But soon afterwards The Roadie jumped into the ring to cause a DQ, so Jarrett retained the title.

    Rating: 5 out of 10


    King Kong Bundy w/ 'The Million Dollar Man' Ted DiBease v The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer

    Why this match was signed I don't know, because it seemed quite obvious that these two would be unable to have a good match against each other. Most of this match actually focused on Kama stealing the urn rather than the actual wrestling, which may have been a good thing. After several minutes of punches and kicks The Undertaker picks up the victory with a clothesline. Honestly, a clothesline.

    Rating: 3 out of 10


    WWF Tag Team Title match: Owen Hart and Yokozuna w/Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette v The Smoking Gunns (Billy and Bart) (c)

    I ws quite surprised with the way this match turned out, as was pretty good. The Gunns were hardly known for their great wrestling ability, and neither was Yokozuna, but this match managed to pass the test. The action was good from the start, and when Owen was in the ring it was usually very good. Apparently this was Yoko's return match, although I don't remember him being away for a great period of time. Then again, I kind of lost interest in wrestling around 1995, so maybe he did go away for a while. For some reason the crowd were solidly behind Owen and Yoko, and popped huge when they won the titles, which happened when Yoko hit the Banzai drop on Bart and Owen got the pin. Good match, the best of the night so far.

    Rating: 7 out of 10


    "I Quit" match: Mr Bob Backlund v Bret 'Hitman' Hart - Special referee: 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper

    You mean Piper get's to be special ref in Bret Hart matches at two consecutive PPVs, and nobody thinks there's anything suspicious about that. I mean, he might be just a little biased towards his chilhood friend right? Obviously the WWF writers didn't think so. A pretty disappointing match really, which consisted of submission after submission, most of them boring ones which got little to no reaction from the crowd. Bret won the match with the crossface chicken-wing after around 7-8 minutes.

    Rating: 6 out of 10


    WWF Title match: Shawn Michaels w/ Psycho Sid and Jenny McCarthy v Diesel (c) w/ Pamela Anderson

    Now, here is a match I was pleasantly surprised with. I've never liked Kevin Nash. Not when he was Diesel, an Outsider, I just never liked the guy, but I have to give him credit for being on top form in this match. It's true that Michaels did work harder in the match and was responsible for making the match watch able, but Nash did put the effort in as well. If remember HBK actually got the 1-2-3 in this match and should have been declared champion, but the referee had twisted his knee or something while dealing with Sid on the outside. Then, when the ref; has recovered Nash manages to hit something resembling a powerbomb to pick up the win. A great match, which had good action throughout, and was worthy of being a WM title match.

    Rating: 9 out of 10


    Bam Bam Bigelow w/ Million Dollar Team v Lawrence Taylor w/ All-Pro Team

    What can be said about this? A 'football' player and a heel who was never truly over in the WWF. While this match was passable, and L.T did put the effort in and was ok for a non-wrestler, it just wasn't up to WM main event standards. There were barely any wrestling moves used here, just the same ones over and over again. And Bam Bam applied the weakest looking Boston crab I've ever seen on L.T, it was obvious he was being careful with him. Still, fortunately the match didn't go too long, and it did make enjoyable viewing. Taylor won with a second rope punch. Yes, a punch.

    Rating: 5 out of 10


    Overall WrestleMania XI scores a surprisingly high 57%.


    Winter's WrestleMania Rankings


    1. WrestleMania VIII - 63.3%

    2. WrestleMania X - 62.2%

    3. WrestleMania XI - 57%

    4. WrestleMania VI - 54.3%

    5. WrestleMania III - 54.2%

    6. WrestleMania V - 53%

    7. WrestleMania II - 50%

    8. WrestleMania IV - 50%

    9. WrestleMania VII - 49%

    10. WrestleMania IX - 45.5%

    11. WrestleMania I - 35.1%




    ICE - Strawberry Fields Forever
    Written by doublehelix (author of A Helix Is Better Than An Angle, Helix>Logic and he does something in Excuse The Aggravation


    Before I begin with my magical main page writing thing from hell, big ups to Winter for letting me write in his column, when I’m not even that good.

    Seriously. I fucking suck. Why people read my stuff is beyond me.

    Anyway, what follows is a little thing I like to call:

    Overness and Charisma are not the same God damn thing, you dolts!

    I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. Please keep reading.

    Well, I meant the part about overness and charisma, but not the dolts part. You aren’t dolts. Really. Allow me to explain…

    Oftentimes, when I hear someone define a wrestler that they don’t like, they throw the words “uncharismatic” and “not over” together every time. And this pisses me off. Apparently, some people aren’t thinking when they do this. Granted, they often make good points about the person, but charisma and being over (while they do feed off each other) are two very different things.

    For example, Rob Van Dam. This man is over as all hell. Not so much as he used to be, but still more over than a majority of the roster. However, if you think this guy has charisma, get your head checked. Or duck tape the word “dumbass” across your forehead. Either way would work. Anyway, the man has a dull personality, can’t work the stick very well (HAHAHAHAHAHA Work the stick HAHAHAHAHAHAHA), and doesn’t have the kind of charm one would associate with a charismatic person. Instead of wowing the crowd with his character, he gets by with his in-ring performances.

    Working in reverse, there’s Randy Orton. Contrary to what many apparently believe, I think Orton has charisma in spades. Mic work comes natural to him, he does a shit ton of little things, and comes across just as I think he should: The jerk that would only have friends because being a jerk is “cool”. MTV said so. However, the man doesn’t get a huge reaction every time Evolution’s music hits. The crowd does explode with “Asshole” chants when he says something. And we all know he needs some in-ring fine-tuning. Basically, the man has tons of personality, but the people haven’t grown to hate him, yet.

    In short, reaction doesn’t equal personality, and personality doesn’t equal reaction. Sometimes they go together (Ex: The Rock), sometimes they don’t (See above), and oftentimes the man in question doesn’t have either going for him (Ex: Carpet Man. Yeah, I brought it back for you, Wevv).

    Thanks again to Winter for letting me write this in HIS column, thanks to you for reading past that dolt remark (Really, you’re not a dolt. Unless you’re Dumass. You vote stealing bastard, you.), and thanks to me for being able to get by without having any writing talent whatsoever.




    Please Please Me - Plugs


    Want to be a column writer yourself? Want to read more than just the main page columns? Why not go the LOPforums columns forum and check out some of these:


    Spankadette - Spankadette Speaks - Now, if you want to read an intelligent an thought provoking column then check this one out. TAFKA HeyYou writes one of the best columns on LOP, in fact it's the column that the IN people are reading. Yes, her favourite wrestler is Spanky.


    Pt2 (June COTM) - Take Up Thy Wrestling Boots And Walk - He may support Stoke City but don't hold that against him. He's one of the longest writers on the columns forum, and his columns are guaranteed to entertain. They currently feature special guest Kevin Kelly, so it must be good! Yeah, he's also a pirate. Nervous breakdown I guess.


    SteJ (November COTM) - Crazy Train - SteJ's column not only contains the greatest PPV review system I've ever seen, but also an Osbournes section (I don't like the Osbournes, but if you do then this is the column for you!), and other cool stuff, which usually changes each week. Just make sure you read this column. AAAALLLLLLLLLL AAABBBBOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDD.


    Dubzilla (August COTM) - Turnbuckle Tailgate - Like drunken old men? Them you'll love Dubzilla I'm sure. Not only does his column contain great articles on TNA and WWE, but he also compares different superstars and shares his wonderful views on a variety of subjects. Just don't make him mad!


    Tina (October COTM) - The XY Files - Well, she's on the main page so much these days do I even need to plug her? No, I should, because if you want to here two different views on one subject this is the column for you (her husband also writes the column, she doesn't have split personalities or anything). She's also managed to get an interview with WWF legend Bruno Sammartino, so if you want to read that go to the columns forum now!.


    XanMan - Lots of columns - You know, the guy who wrote the SLEET section of this column. If you liked what you read then go read some of his column.


    doublehelix - same as above


    TV Dog - The Station Break - TVD actually came joint 1st in the September COTM (along side myself), but neither of us actually won. He hasn't written anything in a while but hopefully we haven't seen the end of him, hopefully he'll keep truckin'.


    Optimus Starscream - A Faceful Of Canvas - Now I'm running out of things to say! This guy writes some great columns, especially his history of PPV ones. Check them out.


    BBM #1 Fan - Can You Handle The Truth - He's not writing right now but he should be back within the next few weeks. His columns usually feature excellent in-depth reviews of wrestlers or stables. He also likes the Big Bossman. For every positive there is a negative.


    Styxx - Throwin' Styxx - Writes some good column, which usually contain a review of a wrestler or tag team. His rugby team may lose, but his column doesn't.


    also check out these great columns.


    LunaticBoy - Wrestling's Kiss Of Steel

    Mike - From the Mind of Mike - Been away for a while, hopefully he'll be back soon.

    Rick Stallion - Catch A Bad One He won July COTM but retired shortly after, but I have a feeling he'll be back soon.

    Firefly - Ring Of Fire - Raw, SD! and TNA reviews, he also writes a column in the sports forum.

    The Citizen - Buddah Of Wrestling - Get past the insane gimmick and you've got a hell of column here. Just a shame he's been away for a while.

    Random Guy #5 - The Nosebleed Section - Great column, featuring a variety of awards.

    Quadriceps - The Hoss Report - He barely writes anymore but when he does it's always an interesting read.


    And finally, a shout out one of my biggest supporters - Y2Kdogg. Thanks for supporting the column and all the positive feedback.



    MELTED

    Well, that's it for another week. You can read this column again next Saturday in the LOP columns forum.

    If you want to send me feedback send me an e-mail titled 'feedback', or if your an LOP forum member send me a PM if you like.

    Take Care

    Peace


    Winter
    jerichoholic113@hotmail.com




    *NEW GALLERY* Wow! Very Rare but AMAZING Natalya Neidhart Bedroom Photos!

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