The Rant of the Week: The End of 2003 Rant
Submitted by Phantom Lord on Sunday, December 28, 2003 at 6:44 PM EST



Greetings conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of the Week. Ok so things improved vastly from last week. Despite my worst fears, I passed all my classes and barring a complete mental breakdown on my part I shall graduate on time as planned. For those of you who pay attention to the Lords of Pain Message board (And you should since it’s the best damn one around), I HAVE BEEN VINDICATED. Last year I was screwed out of the FFA Award for Smartest Poster on LOP. I felt the pain of Al Gore for a brief moment, as something I know I earned was not awarded to me. Well a lot of things can change in a year, and I am now Officially The Smartest Poster on LOPForums.com. Yes, a lot of my detractors are crying fowl. But in the end I have won. No one can accuse me of not having a healthy ego. Christmas wasn’t to bad for me since I got most of what I wanted. Of course, going to Best Buy yourself helps in the process. I picked up the new Rush In Rio album. Damn what a great buy that was. For $20 I got over two and a half-hours of great music. My only gripe was that I could not find the Ric Flair dvd. I’m heading back to Best Buy to cash in my gift cards and I will be mighty pissed if that DVD is not in the right place this time. It’s so annoying when horrible 80’s comedy’s are scattered into the sports section and you can’t find shit. Ah well, if I do find the Flair dvd I will be in a much happier mood come the first rant of the year. But right now this rant is to close out the year that was, so ON TO THE RANT.

What can I say about 2003 that hasn’t been said all ready? It pains me to think about how many people in this business left this world for the great federation in the sky. Sure some like Freddie Blassie and Stu Hart were to be expected, but the deaths of Curt Hennig, Miss Elizabeth, Road Warrior Hawk, Crash Holly, and so many others were just so hard to understand and cope with. I very much believe in fate. Everything that happens does happen for a reason. But with the deaths of the above mentioned, you have to just ask the question why. Why take them when they were in the prime of their lives. Curt Hennig was probably going to be the NWA World Champion at some point this year. Road Warrior Hawk along with Road Warrior Animal were gearing up for that one last big run. Crash Holly re-invented himself after his release from the WWE to show that he could actually wrestle in-between those great skits. 2003 will probably be looked upon as the year wrestling truly died for people like me since so many people that I grew up watching are now gone.

But 2003 was not completely a bad year. Ok so RAW turned into the personal ego stroke of Triple H and Smackdown turned into a BAH GAWD HOSSAPALOOZA. But wrestling wise there were some great matches. The vast majority came from NWA-TNA. Say what you want about them. They are the demon spawn of WCW/ECW. They have such lame angles. They have unproven talent. Jeff Jarrett is no better then Triple H. Vince Russo is still the devil. I could go on and on, but I won’t since I personally believe NWA-TNA has the best “sports entertainment” on television today. A.J. Styles proved that a cruiserweight could not only hold his own as a heavyweight…but he could be the World Heavyweight Champion. D-Lo Brown proved that when the WWE says they can’t do anything creative for a worker that just means they haven’t tried damn hard enough. NWA-TNA also proved that the legends of the sport still have a place in today’s market. Dusty Rhodes getting that one last shot at the NWA World Title. That was very compelling television even if The Dweem had nothing left in his Goodyear Blimp sized tank. Of course TNA had a huge disaster in the making with them trying to deal with Hulk Hogan, but luckily they seem to have dodged that bullet. Hogan as a wrestler is a lot better then people give him credit for. Watch some of his matches in Japan and you’ll see proof of that. But Hulk Hogan the businessman makes even the shadiest of individuals blush. I find it funny that Hogan’s knee suddenly has got so bad that the purposed February PPV is off. Of course this probably has nothing to do with the fact that Vince McMahon apparently said if Hogan works for TNA before Wrestlemania…he won’t be on the show. In any event, TNA has managed to pick up the ball and recover from the fumble.

Speaking of fumbles, TNA picked quite a few from the WWE and ran them in for touchdowns. The two most notable are of course Raven and D-Lo Brown. Before coming to TNA, Raven was banished to WWE Sunday Night Heat. Even in the role of a main event curtain jerker, he still stole the show. But of course in the WWE’s great wisdom they simply let him go a week after starting something interesting with The Undertaker. I think they were headed in the direction of a new flock with Raven torturing Jeff Hardy. That would of made for some interesting television, but alas it was not to be and two days later, Raven showed up in Nashville and laid out Jeff Jarrett and stole the NWA Title belt to close out that week’s TNA. The rest as they say is history as Raven has had it best year of wrestling in a long time. D-Lo Brown on the other hand started off the year playing second fiddle to The Coach as the color man when all of a sudden “The Godfather of Professional Wrestling” Mr. Theodore R. Long returned and he gave D-Lo some purpose. See it was “The Man” holding down D-Lo and Teddy was gonna see to it that this brother got some justice. Of course, things didn’t work out that way and in the end after D-Lo lost one to many matches, Teddy found himself a new meal ticket…err client in the form of Rodney Mack and that was the last of D-Lo in the WWE. Now personally I think there was a huge potential for this angle. Only thing is the WWE didn’t want to scare off sponsors so they never really tapped into any of that real emotion and anger towards “The Man” and as we have seen poor Teddy long is now managing Rodney Mack (who is whiter then me) and the human form of The Black Hole…Mizark Henry. It’s like I said have Teddy dump the dead weight and start managing Booker T and things will improve vastly.

For D-Lo Brown at least things improved and he came as a big surprise to TNA one week. He had this great entrance video where they hyped him as this man who was under enemy lines for over five years and he has finally broken free. I couldn’t stop laughing after they played it and he came out cause it was do damn true. D-Lo then went on to do what he does best and that’s Wrestle. It’s such a novel concept when people are allowed to do it, but BAH GAWD it works. D-Lo ended up forming a team with A.J. Styles and they ended up feuding over the NWA World Title in probably one of the best feuds of the year. NWA-TNA has provided some of the best feuds of the year with Jarrett vs. Styles, Styles vs. Brown, Raven vs. The New Church, and Raven vs. Jarrett. How many great feuds can we say the WWE has given us this year? The only one that really comes to mind is Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar.

Kurt Angle defied every known law of logic to come back in less than three months from major neck surgery to wrestle like he didn’t even miss a step. But 2004 is all ready looking bad because Angle’s neck is in such bad shape he will have no choice but to get the neck fusion surgery and miss well over a year of action. Of course even before that happens there is a question to as much he can wrestle before the operation and ultimately after it. Angle is this generations Ric Flair and sadly it looks like his career is going to be cut way to short. Now maybe things won’t be so bad as they are being reported, but all indications are they will be. For the other half of the equation, Brock Lesnar is on the proverbial rocket ship that can not be stopped. Brock can do no wrong as he now has a great new finisher in the form of The Brock Lock. The move originally known as The Stretch Muffler is a brutal submission hold and it’s a perfect fit for the best all around wrestler in the WWE today. I know I’m gonna get heat from the Benoit marks, but it’s the truth. Lesnar can adapt to any style much like Kurt Angle. Only problem is, who will be his nemesis for 2004? Smart money is on a Brock vs. Benoit feud for the first half of the year. The match they had on Smackdown was sports entertainment drama at it’s best.

Many people criticize the net by saying if we had our way ratings would plummet. Chris Benoit could never carry a company and be a great world champion. I disagree with that notion. Now I’m not stupid, I know it’s all about entertainment in the WWE. Assuming Benoit beats Lesnar for the title you turn him into a full heel once again because the most logical feud for him would be John Cena. I think Benoit/Cena could be 2004’s version of Bret vs. Shawn. Of course the only difference would be no screw job at the end. Now with that happening you’re probably wondering what about Brock? Surely he can’t be a midcarder again. Well your right and your getting ahead of me. So with that in mind it’s time for Part 2 of My Column this week.

What Phantom would do in ‘04

On the top of my list is the only sure fire way to save RAW.

Send Brock Lesnar to RAW

It’s simple really. You have him turn back face. But not the dopey farm boy face he was with Angle. I’m talking have him go right for Triple H. Say he’s a disgrace to wrestling and he doesn’t deserve to hold that World Title Belt. Ok that would be more of a shoot, but hey it’s the kind of stuff that gets people’s attention. From there it’s Brock vs. Evolution since many can argue that Brock is indeed the true evolution of the sport. I’m not going to get into details, but lets just say Brock wins the World Title from Triple H around Summer Slam.

Now I got a lot of heat over the last few weeks because I left Goldberg out of Wrestlemania 20. Well for starters I left him out originally because if the only way to get Bret Hart to wrestle at WM 20 is for Goldberg to not be there…then so be it. But since we know that isn’t going to happen and since Triple H re-claimed his big gold belt, I don’t really see Goldberg in the WWE much longer. For starters according to people in the know, Goldberg is mighty pissed that they are making him sell for people instead of booking as the indestructible force he was in WCW. I honestly do not see Goldberg at Wrestlemania 20. The WWE blew their chance at Goldberg vs. Lesnar, so what would there really be for him to do. Goldberg, much like Hulk Hogan is only interested in the bottom line and right now his bottom line is not what he thought it would be. If Goldberg is at Wrestlemania 20, it will probably be him in some tag match and not in the main event. You know I got a hate filled e-mail from someone who went off on me for praising Goldberg when he sure has hell has never any paid any dues in the business. Well, that’s true. Triple H took the much longer route to the top, but my problem with him is he is giving nothing back to the business. All Goldberg did was end the career of Bret Hart. From around October of 2002 to now, Triple H has done nothing but himself over everyone else. Because of his actions RVD is now in midcard hell despite being the most over guy on the show. Chris Jericho is in a freaking soap angle instead of being the credible main eventer we know he is. Booker T got pissed on so much this year he will probably be retiring soon because his body is so broken down it’s not really worth the hassle anymore.

To make things even more fun, roster cuts are coming very soon and I fully expect Tommy Dreamer, Stevie Richards, Rhyno, and a few other solid mid card wrestlers to get the boot. And when the WWE fires someone because they can’t do anything with them creatively, say it with me now…

The WWE’s Blunder is NWA-TNA’S Gain

Rumor has it, NWA-TNA will be getting a slot on WGN starting in January. That’s national television folks. Now granted it will most likely be on Saturday mornings when people like me are still asleep, but it’s a start in the right direction. If TNA can get a hold of those above mentioned three, I can guarantee they will have them back to the their ECW level greatness in no time. I mean they took a burn out like Raven and made him great again. Imagine what they will do with those three. Plus there is the chance RVD might not even resign with the WWE. And if he doesn’t he all ready said TNA and Japan would probably be in his future. Thinking about this and it is true. NWA-TNA is the demon spawn of WCW & ECW and I love it. I also think Kanyon will probably get cut since he hasn’t been off Velocity in almost a year. That’s a real shame. He almost dies from an infection after a shoulder surgery and he comes back and they have him putting over developmental talent. With people like Matt Morgan and John Hidenrich who only got their spot because of their look and size, it’s a shame when the true talent gets pissed on.

It’s not all doom and gloom…at least for Wrestling. In NWA-TNA they all ready have the feud of 2004 ready to go as the war between Raven and C.M. Punk begins. The X-Division is getting chock full of great action as everyone is gunning for THE SHOWSTOPPA’S…cousin Michael Shane. Ultimate X 2 on January 7th with Shane, Sabin, Daniels, and Low Ki. It doesn’t get much better then that. Ultimate X is something that need’s to be seen to believed and I can’t wait to see this one. I’m personally pulling for Christopher Daniels since I’ve suspected all along he was the new franchise of TNA. Michael Shane seems like he being set up for a huge fall by Shane Douglas. On the flip side we don’t know what the hell to think with the Mick Foley fiasco on RAW. A lot of people will probably tune in to see what happens and I don’t think they can pull themselves out of this one. Mick just became Terry Funk because he will now be forever compared to him if he ever does come out of retirement. The only thing on RAW that looks half way interesting is the angle with Trish and Jericho. Chris is married and he has a son, but remember folks…this is “acting”. If you want to know how this one turns out, watch any soap opera because it’s the same formula. Guy is found out to be a jerk. Hot chick wants nothing to do with him again. Guy slowly regains her trust and Guy and Hot chick make out in the end. Even with that all in mind, it’s still gonna be the only thing interesting to see on RAW.

Well I believe that is it for this week and this year. Stay tuned to LOP this week as I will present Wrestling’s Fact of Fiction: Year End Round Table Discussion. I have some big LOP names lined up for this column as it will be a look at where we have been and where we will be going in the year ahead.

As always take care and have a Happy New Year. And remember, someone has to tell you this information so it might as well be me.

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