WWE SmackDown! Results: 12/18/2003
Submitted by Justin "Locura" Pratt on Friday, December 19, 2003 at 1:23 AM EST
WWE SmackDown!
Date: 12/18/2003
Venue: Veteran’s Memorial Arena
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Last week, John Cena seriously pissed off the Big Show after beating him in a battle rap and kicking him where it hurts. Will Show get his revenge? Will Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty defeat the Basham Brothers and win the tag team titles? Will Hardcore Holly face punishment from Paul Heyman after his actions last week? Will Eddie and Chavo finally beat the hell out of each other? How will Chris Benoit get himself back in the title picture? Will Ernest Miller drive us loco with another stupid dance segment? Why am I asking all these questions?
The show begins with highlights from last week’s main event: Rey Mysterio vs. Brock Lesnar. It also showed Holly beating up Lesnar afterwards.
And now, welcome to SmackDown! Michael Cole and Tazz at ringside.
The tag team title bout has been changed to a Fatal Fourway, now involving Los Guerreros and The World’s Greatest Tag Team.
John Cena makes his way down to the ring to get the crowd going. He gets the mic and cuts a rap. In the rap including getting yellow snow, turning Ms. Clause into a “Ho Ho Ho”, she hangs off the “balls from his Christmas tree”, and other such innuendos. Cena goes out and hands Tazz a copy of his WWE throwback shirt, then joins him for commentary for our next match.
Match #1: The Big Show vs. Orlando Jordan
The Big Show stares down Cena as Orlando Jordan jumps him from behind. Jordan punches Show, then trips him to the corner. He goes up top and hits a cross body for 2. Jordan tries to keep Show down but Show clotheslines him away. He follows up with a headbutt. Show chokes him in the corner and hits a pair of hard chops. Show connects with his unique legdrop, but he pulls Jordan up before the ref counts to three. Jordan tries to fight back, but Show knees his stomach. Show taunts Cena, then gets ready for the Chokeslam… but Jordan fights out and takes out the back of Show’s knee. Jordan gets a shot in but eats the Chokeslam. Show gets the pin. Cena and Show talk trash, preparing their one-on-one encounter next week in Iraq. Another Jordan/Show match, another Show squash. This match offered nothing.
Winner: The Big Show
Match Rating: 2/10
Hardcore Holly arrives in the building, but security won’t let him in. Holly says Heyman invited him, and another guard comes to confirm it. The meeting will take place in a private room, and the guard leads him there.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 1 ~
A-Train is in the ring when we come back from break. Then, Brock Lesnar comes down with Paul Heyman and Matt Morgan. All three get in the ring and stare down Train. “You tapped out!” chants erupt. Heyman says he knows Train is wondering why he was summoned. It’s because Lesnar wants to ask him a question tonight in public. Lesnar says last week he had a match with Rey Mysterio. Not only did he beat him, but Rey tapped out to him. And it still makes him the greatest champ in history. The problem is that he was too busy warming up to see Train’s loss with Moore. Lesnar snaps at Train, saying if he wanted a biased opinion, he doesn’t, he won’t ask him. Morgan says Moore beat Train 1-2-3. Plus, he lost a ton of Team Lesnar’s money. Lesnar takes offense to that, getting in Train’s face. Lesnar wants somebody to show him what happened, and highlights of said match were shown. Lesnar goes over Train’s physical size, saying he lost to a 170 lb. human being. He better have a hell of an excuse… or else. Train says for weeks now he wanted to tell him something face to face, man to man… “I’m sorry”. For 2 weeks in a row, he’s let Lesnar down. First, he bet against him in his match with Chris Benoit. Second, he lost to Shannon Moore. He got what he deserved by getting his ass kicked. All he’s asking is to make things right. Heyman has an idea for him to make it up to the champ. Heyman says Brock has a little problem: Hardcore Holly. The WWE Board of Directors has been on Heyman’s case, meaning effective immediately, Holly’s suspension has been lifted and he will compete tonight! Tonight, Heyman will present the final fate of Hardcore Holly, because his match is all or nothing. If Holly wins, he gets whatever he wants. If he loses, Holly’s contract will be immediately terminated. Originally, Heyman wanted a handicap match with Morgan and Train against Holly, but he changed his mind since the Board wouldn’t approve. So tonight, it’ll be a tag team match. It will be A-Train and Matt Morgan against Hardcore Holly and Shannon Moore. Heyman leaves the ring as Lesnar and Morgan glare at Train.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 2 ~
Highlights of last weekend’s house shows are shown.
Match #2: Los Guerreros vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty vs. The Bashams Brothers (w/ Shaniqua) in a Fatal Fourway Match for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Eddie & Chavo Guerrero were featured in Low Rider Magazine. Rikishi starts off against Danny Basham. Danny quickly tags Eddie in. Eddie kicks and punches Rikishi. Rikishi with a pair of back body drops. Chavo comes in and they double suplex the big man. Scotty 2 Hotty is in as he and his partner work on Los Guerreros. Rikishi charges his ass into them as they fall into position for the Stink Face… but they flee just in time. Charlie Haas in the ring, misses sunset flip and evades a sitdown squash from Rikishi. Rikishi hits a body slam and tags Scotty in. He drops several elbows on Haas. Shelton Benjamin in. They get into a little melee, with Benjamin on top. Suplex by rushes the ring and goes berserk, hitting Doug with a hurricanrana and a dropkick on Danny. Head scissors-armdrag combo on Bashams. They fall into Stink Face position, so Rikishi gets the tag. TWGTT block him… but then allow Rikishi to hit a double Stink Face on the Bashams! The Bashams regroup with Shaniqua as we go to commercial.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 3 ~
Benjamin works on Danny, Scotty with a blind tag to attack Danny. Danny misses a charge, allowing Scotty to hit the Bulldog and goes for the Worm… and connects! Haas pulls Scotty out of the ring before he could try a pin. Scotty gets beaten up outside and thrown back in. Danny punches away on Scotty. Cover for 2. Haas tags Danny to beat up Scotty, then tags Benjamin to continue to. Snapmare takedown into a rear chinlock on Scotty. He breaks out of it, but Shelton with a knee takedown. Pinfall is broken up by Eddie and Doug. Haas tags in. He whips Scotty hard to the corner. Bashams break up another pin attempt, dragging Haas to their corner and Danny tags in to beat up on poor Scotty. Elbow drop for 2. Scotty is desperate to take Rikishi, but the Bashams keep him away. Doug tags in and applies the sleeper. Chinbreaker on Doug, and Rikishi comes to to superkick Danny. Chavo blind tags Doug and Chavo hits a top rope crossbody. Eddie in, hits a pair of vertical suplexes on Eddie. The action is going by so fast I’m already losing my place. TWGTT leapfrog double team Doug. Eddie with a headscissors. Haas with a German. Danny gets caught up on top. Chavo suplexes Danny, but Doug follows it up immediately with a Frog Splash on Chavo! He covers and gets the 3! This match didn’t turn into much of a clusterfuck, and this kind of match would be great if it were longer. Everybody in this match put on a good show, with non-stop action and excitement (yikes, I sound like a movie reviewer).
Winners: The Basham Brothers
Match Rating:7/10
Heyman wants Dawn Marie (who’s in a very scantily clad red outfit) to envision Brock Lesnar defending his title tonight. It’s all about making SmackDown! the best show on TV, he says. Heyman put everyone’s name into a tumbler (except Benoit) and whoever’s name gets drawn, he’ll face Lesnar for the title.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 4 ~
Lugz Boot of the Week: Dawn Marie saying no to Ernest Miller’s offer to dance for the crowd, then Miller doing his usual crap.
Oh God, no… Lamont bugs the SHIT out of me in bringing out Ernest “The Cat” Miller. The crowd is very quiet, but I do detect some faint booing and minor cheering. Miller dances. Then Sable comes out to save us from this nonsense… I hope. She gets the mic. She hates to interrupt his dance party, but she wants to know what the hell he was thinking when he kissed her. Miller says last week she didn’t look too hot, so he thought he’d warm her up with some “Cat Sugar.” Sable says if he ever tries that again, so help her… then Miller tries it again… and I’ve never been more happy to see Vince McMahon come out! THANK YOU, VINCE!! The crowd is actually CHEERING for him! Vince says nobody puts his hands on Sable but him. Who the hell do you think you are!? Miller says he’s the greatest of all time… Vince corrects him, saying HE’S the greatest of all time. Greatest promoter, businessman, and lover. Miller knows Vince isn’t the greatest performer. Vince wants Miller to his his own music… and no, no, no… Vince is now dancing… It’s the end of the world as we know it. Vince gets Miller to dance with him… then low blows him! Vince says somebody should call The Cat’s mama! Miller holds his nuts and fumes at Vince as he and Sable walk up the ramp. This better NOT lead to a Vince vs. Miller feud, or else I will walk to the WWE offices in Stamford, Conneticut and go absolutely frickin’ postal. I’ll rant more on Miller at the end of this report as well as share some feedback from my fellow viewers.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 5 ~
Match #3: Rey Mysterio vs. Jamie Noble (w/ Nidia) in a #1 Contender’s Match for the Cruiserweight Championship
Jamie Noble guides Nidia to the side of the ring and tells her to stay there. Noble and Rey Mysterio go at it. Nobe with a wristlock. Rey counters out of a back suplex, but Noble hits a running tackle. Rey launches Noble across the ring with a monkey flip, then another. They separate, and the crowd cheers. Lockup, Noble snake eyes Rey then chops him. Rey tries a ‘rana but Noble slams him down front first. Cover for 2. Noble applies a Camel Clutch, but Rey makes it to the rope and flips Noble out of the ring. Noble goes back in, but meets Rey’s fists. Rey with a springboard, but Noble caught him and gets him in the Tree of Woe. Noble charges, but Rey raises up and Noble hits the post! Rey with a moonsault on Noble, but it’s only for 2. Spinning head scissors by Rey. Noble comes back with a scoop slam for 2. Rey hits a front sweep into a rollup for 2, then Noble tries one of his own for 2. Noble gets knocked into 619 position… but Noble moves the ropes from Rey and Rey sails out of the ring! Noble rolls Nidia into the ring, then dropkicks her into the ref and Mysterio! Noble tries the Tiger Bomb, but Rey counters that into the West Coast Pop! 1-2-3! Nidia cowers in the corner outside the ring as Noble goes to console her. He pins the entire thing on Mysterio. Your typical good cruiserweight matchup with an interesting ending. Noble once again tried to use Nidia to his advantage, but it didn’t work this time. A heel change in the making.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Match Rating: 6/10
Hardcore Holly is in the back getting ready. In an interview with Josh Matthews, he says he doesn’t have a choice but to fight for his career. He goes over his match tonight. He wants a title shot with Lesnar. He tells Brock he’s gonna break his neck, then take his title.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 6 ~
They show players from the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars are at ringside.
They show video game footage from Playstation 2’s “WWE SmackDown!: Here Comes the Pain” involving Brock Lesnar.
Match #4: Chris Benoit vs. Chuck Palumbo (w/ Nunzio & Johnny Stamboli)
The ref tells Nunzio and Johnny Stamboli to get out of the ring. Chris Benoit goes quick on the attack, but Chuck Palumbo kicks Benoit square in the head. Benoit with a series of chops, but Chuck hits a takedown for 2. He drives Benoit into the corner and hits some shoulder thrusts. He grabs Benoit’s leg and hits a clothesline for 2. He gets Benoit in a viselock, which Benoit breaks out of. He chops, but Chuck drives Benoit into the corner. Cover for 2. High back suplex for 2. Palumbo goes back into the viselock as Benoit shows TOOTHLESS AGGRESSION and fights out. Spinning armbar drives Chuck’s shoulder to the mat. Palumbo charges at Benoit, but his shoulder meets the ringpost. Benoit latches on the Crossface… but Chuck grabs the ropes. Benoit dropkick Chuck’s legs, then nails the German Suplex Trifecta. Cutthroat! Benoit goes up for the Suicide Headbutt… and connects! 1-2-NO!! Very close. Chuck snake eyes Benoit then rolls him up for a near fall. Benoit gets Chuck back in the Crossface… and he taps to give Benoit the submission victory. Benoit dragged a good match out of Palumbo, but it was really nothing more than that. There were a lot of near falls though.
Winner: Chris Benoit
Match Rating: 5/10
The FBI rush to attack Benoit. Benoit fends them off well, but the numbers are too great to overcome as all three members leave Benoit lying in the ring.
Rey is trying to tell Nidia backstage what Noble did to her. Nidia is afraid of Rey based on what Noble told her, and they share a conversation in Spanish before Nidia cries and tells him to go away.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 7 ~
This Christmas, WWE SmackDown! will compete in Iraq. They show a Fox News feature highlighting Kurt Angle’s visit to Iraq.
Rhyno claims Bradshaw stole a victory over him at Velocity, and last week he beat the crap out of him for an easy win. The tiebreaker match is tonight. Cole and Tazz say that Bradshaw is oversees and can’t compete. Rhyno wants the referee to declare him the winner… but Faarooq answers the call!
Match #5: Rhyno vs. Faarooq
Rhyno tries to flee, but Faarooq catches him and pummels away. Elbow takedown by Faarooq. He sits Rhyno down then charges, driving his elbow into his back. Rhyno goes outside, but Faarooq rolls him back in. Rhyno goes on the attack. He punches Faarooq down and stomps on him. Faarooq gets choked in the ropes, then more stomping and a headbutt. Faarooq struggles to get up as Rhyno continues the assault, he hits Rhyno with a spinebuster. Cover, but Rhyno grabs the bottom rope. Rhyno hits a blatant low blow for the DQ. As Faarooq is reeling, Rhyno nails the Gore. Extremely short match, but it was probably for the best that it stopped when it did.
Winner: Faarooq via DQ
Match Rating: 2.5/10
Heyman tells Dawn that Lesnar must understand this is in the best interest of SmackDown! He tells a security guard to take the tumbler to the ring as Heyman goes over some possibilities, such as Cena, Mysterio, and Big Show. That match with the as-yet unknown opponent is next.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 8 ~
Heyman is in the ring with the tumbler and two security guards. Heyman introduces Lesnar as the WWE Champion makes his way to the ring. Brock looks confused as to why Heyman is making this match. Heyman tells Brock he knows he wasn’t prepared, but that’s why this whole show has been built around him. Heyman says he’s gonna spin the tumbler, and whatever name he comes up with, that will be his opponent for the title now. “You tapped out!” chants erupt again. Lesnar reaches in and pulls out a name… and he’s not happy. Lesnar wants to draw again, but Heyman doesn’t want him to. Lesnar says he just picked the hottest guy on SmackDown!... then laughs and reveals it’s Shannon Moore!
Match #6: Brock Lesnar vs. Shannon Moore for the WWE Championship
The wounded animal, Shannon Moore limps to the ring, ribs still taped. Lesnar rubs his hands together and gets ready for his squashfest. Lesnar pushes Moore down with ease. Moore gets right back up and in his face. Moore starts kicking Lesnar’s leg, but Lesnar shoves Moore down. Moore attacks Lesnar, avoiding several of the champ’s moves and continuously pouncing the champ! Cover for 2. Moore kicks his face, then tries again, but Lesnar grabs his leg and hits a hard clothesline. Moore gets back up and hits another clothesline. The Brock Lock is applied. As Lesnar tries to get the move in position he bends Moore’s neck. Moore taps out and the match, just like that, is over. Well, Moore DID get some moves in on the champ, but it’s just another squash.
Winner: Brock Lesnar
Match Rating: 2/10
Lesnar mockingly says that match was close. But, hey, they’s why he’s the greatest. He says he’s the only man who would defend his title against anyone. He pulled another name out… and it said Shannon Moore… another said Shannon Moore. They all say Shannon Moore! Lesnar says Moore was the lucky guy tonight, but his luck has run out. Holly’s luck as also ran out, as his partner just got destroyed. He calls out Holly so he can watch his career get destroyed.
~ COMMERCIAL BREAK 9 ~
Match #7, The Main Event: Shannon Moore & Hardcore Holly vs. A-Train & Matt Morgan
As Moore is writhing in pain in the ring, Holly comes down with five security guards in front of him. They all circle the champ outside the ring to protect him. Morgan and Train jump Moore while Holly was distracted and the match starts with Train beating the hell out of Moore. Train shoves Moore into the corner, then tags Morgan in, who rams his boot into Moore’s throat. Morgan with a headbutt. He chokes Moore in the ropes and rams his head into the turnbuckle before tagging Train in. Moore tries to fight back, but Train hits two consecutive backbreakers. Train with a straight shot to Moore’s taped ribs, then throws Moore into Morgan’s foot. Morgan in. He hits a body slam, with a little bit of a throw added. Bearhug. Moore is screaming. Morgan releases Train gets in. He mocks Holly. Holly tries to punch Train, but Train moves and Train decks him. Train hits the Train Wreck on Moore, but Holly breaks up the pin and attack Trains. The ref takes Holly back to the corner. Moore kicks Train when he tried a 2nd rope splash. Moore tries to tag, he dropkicks Train, and tags Holly. HE’S ON FIRE!! Holly takes out everything in sight. Dropkick to Train. He boots Morgan and knocks Train off the apron. Holly with a top rope clothesline on Morgan. Holly with his special midsection kicking move to Train while he holds the top rope. Holly is taken outside, and Lesnar rushes to whack him with a steel chair while Morgan distracted the ref! Morgan sets up and delivers a sitout powerbomb, but Holly kicks out! Lesnar is distraught. Morgan applies a bearhug, but Holly punches out of it. Train accidentally bicycle kicks Morgan! Holly clotheslines Train out of the ring! Alabama Slam on Morgan! 1-2-3!! A bit of a farfetched ending, but it was helped by Train’s kick to Morgan, setting up more punishment for him next week. Moore didn’t do much in this match, except fight away from Train at the last second and make the hot tag to Holly. This match had a Holly victory all over it and, while it was exciting, certainly wasn’t tonight’s best match.
Winner: Shannon Moore & Hardcore Holly
Match Rating: 6/10
Holly heads up the ramp as Lesnar is in the ring, absolutely shocked. The wide-eyed Lesnar is bewildered as SmackDown! draws to a close.
Final Thought: This show was filled with good, bad, and ugly parts. The good: The fatal fourway tag match and the cruiserweight match. The segment with A-Train wasn’t so bad either. The bad: Three bad matches out of seven total, and Cena’s rap on Ms. Clause, of all things, wasn’t exactly his best work. The ugly: Ernest Miller. Ernest frickin’ Miller. Somebody PLEASE get this garbage off the show. He talks like a fool. His assistant makes my ears bleed. His dancing is pointless and uninteresting. Apparently, from what we’ve seen him do with Sable, he must also be a rapist. Hell, the Cena/Show feud didn’t do much of anything tonight, and why o why was Benoit put into a meaningless feud with the FBI? Overall, a less than mediocre show.
Last week, I also you guys for some feedback regarding your thoughts on Ernest Miller. 100% of those who responded had negative overall opinions on him. Here are a couple of those responses:
JWSpurgeon: “Well, I thought The Cat was funny the first time... for maybe a minute. I am also getting tired of these retarded segments he's been doing... is
the WWE actually going to do something with him, or is this pointless
crap just going to continue?”
ray_phgura: “Ernest 'The Twat' Miller......he was fucking annoying in WCW and hes even more fucking annoying now, at least in WCW he use to 'wrestle'. Well actually watching him hit people around the head with his big red dancing shoe wasn't very fuckin entertaining either, but mind you it was WCW so who really gives a shit.
And as if he aint annoying enough they give him that pillock of a sidekick, hes even worse than Ernest.”
Thanks for your feedback, guys.
Next week’s show takes place on Christmas Day, but, unlike Thanksgiving, I’ll be around to recap the show, so look forward to that. Until next week!
~ Justin Pratt
Hit me up
Gotta plug my site, ya know
*NEW GALLERY* The VERY CREEPY Pix of Hulk Hogan Rubbing His Daughter Brooke!
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