DaveyBoy's Wrestling Menu - Armageddon Review & 2003 Year-End Awards
Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, December 17, 2003 at 2:52 PM EST



THE WRESTLING MENU #71

Welcome one and all to the 71st edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

But if you're "sexually frustrated" or "irregular", don't look at me. I'm sure JR & Lawler can help you. They seem to be the experts!!! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, have a read of my Armageddon match review of Molly Holly vs Ivory.

No Dessert section today, as my year-end awards should be enough to fill your bellies. Plus, it's nearly Christmas & you just know that you're going to put on a few extra pounds on that day!!!


APPETIZERS

Armageddon Review

For those that cannot recall my previous PPV review columns, this is the key, that explains what the final PPV Rating means:

<50: Ask for a refund for not only your money, but also your time. [F]
50-54: Mediocre & disappointing. [D] (EG: Judgment Day '03)
55-59: Average. [C] (EG: Unforgiven '03, No Mercy '03)
60-64: Worth A Watch. [C+] (EG: SummerSlam '03)
65-69: Good event that was worth the money. [B] (EG: SurvivorSeries '03)
70-74: Very good. [B+] (EG: WrestleMania 19)
75-79: Make sure you add this ppv to your video or dvd collection. [A] (EG: SummerSlam '02)
80+ : Make sure that the video or dvd is locked in a safe & cannot be erased. Memorable. [A+]

BOOKER T defeated MARK HENRY: Nothing earth-shattering here. Exactly what we all expected. Average match. Sloppy match. It probably lasted longer than I thought it would (9 minutes), although so it should when a card is advertised to have all of 6 matches. It could have been worse, I suppose!!! Booker tried hard, but even he seems to lack any motivation nowadays. Being put in a feud with Henry will probably do that to you. Terrible choice for opener, as the crowd were even less motivated than Booker T, by the sound of it. Match Rating...4

RANDY ORTON defeated ROB VAN DAM to Win the InterContinental Title: No joke, I only found this match hard to rate, because the rest of the card was so mediocre. This was the match of the night in my opinion, but I don't want to over-rate it by comparing it to the rest of the matches. It was 19 minutes of good psychological wrestling where both men impressed by using their strengths. The only fact that let it down was the usual Orton restholds that plague his matches. He controlled far too much of the offense, and there was not enough back & forth action taking place to really keep everyone on the edge of their seats. Having said that, Orton took a step up with new moves, and a decent variety of offense, while RVD proved that he doesn't need to be carried & can space out his spots effectively in a longer match. The abrupt ending probably didn't help the match out though. Match Rating...7

CHRIS JERICHO & CHRISTIAN defeated LITA & TRISH STRATUS: I really feared, not only for the quality of this match, but also for what the WWE would book to occur during it. I was pleasantly surprised though, as the 9 minute bout was booked & performed as well as it possibly could have been. Still not exactly what I really want to see during a pay-per-view, but all 4 involved should be given plaudits for the way they conducted themselves, both from a wrestling & entertainment perspective. Parts of the match livened up the crowd, while the door is kept open on the angle which could possibly lead to a Chris Jericho face turn. Match Rating...5

SHAWN MICHAELS defeated BATISTA: Shawn Michaels has done nothing but amaze me this year (see '2003 Awards' below), and he really did try his hardest to get something decent out of Batista here. Unfortunately though, this was probably his most ho-hum match this year. It wasn't terrible, but you could tell that even HBK was struggling to drag anything spectacular out of Batista in the 12 minutes that this bout was given. Maybe I have over-rated Batista a little. Match Rating...6

RIC FLAIR & BATISTA won the Tag-Team Turmoil Match to Win the World Tag-Team Titles: Here was another way of how not to book a match & a division. Firstly, unpredictability was thrown out the window when in a backstage segment before this match, Flair told Batista to remain in the building so that they could have titles around their waists. About 18 minutes of nothing much really happened all leading to the inevitable Flair & Batista "surprise". No team was really pushed in this match, while some teams like La Resistance & Hurricane/Rosey came out looking terrible from it. This was an interesting idea ruined, just so Evolution can brag about having all the titles on Raw the next night. Well, I hope that's worth ruining this division for!!! Arggghhhh, it wasn't that bad I suppose. The bad booking just irked me way too much. On the positive side, Cade/Jindak seemed to mesh quite well against both Storm/Venis & The Dudleyz. While Steiner & Test actually looked half decent against The Dudleyz toward the end there. Match Rating...5

MOLLY HOLLY defeated IVORY to Retain the Women's Title: Oh man, where do I start on this one!?!?!? Well, I suppose I should start with what dominated the match; The awful commentary of Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler. All they did was go on & on about one or both women being sexually frustrated & irregular. It was possibly amusing the first time they mentioned it, but they just went on & on about it. I mean, it was that bad, it sort of continued to be funny. Meanwhile, the poor women were doing flips off the apron, good wrestling sequences & just generally having a good, if short, women's match. Of course, that didn't matter to JR & The King who continued to talk about being sexually frustrated. Pretty pathetic really. They should be punished for this commentary, and if the WWE approved it, then maybe they should do away with the division. Because if they carry on like that again, I'm guessing the number of women that will take being disrespected like that will be less than 1. Match Rating...5

TRIPLE H defeated BILL GOLDBERG & KANE to Win the World HeavyWeight Title: More terrible booking here, and I'm not even talking about the result. Now I know Kane isn't supposed to be the brightest spark, but the way they used his character during this bout was astonishingly bad. I mean, he may as well have been an Evolution member!!! The best that Kane has looked since being unmasked was when he terrorized Triple H (another heel) in his feud with Goldberg. Then all of a sudden, he does basically everything to help Triple H regain the title. Not even a blatant chair shot to the head by Trips, could avert Kane's double-teaming mentality of Goldberg!!! WTF!?!?!? Apart from that, it was the usual standard big-man power-moves match. Mildly entertaining, Evolution would win the title for Hunter McMahon. Match Rating...5

PPV RATING (37/70) = 53

Looking at the key, I have given Armageddon a 'D' grade & have said that it was 'Mediocre & Disappointing'. Well, to be honest, I was expecting it to be bad, so it didn't really disappoint me. Mediocre is the perfect word to describe it though. This was the second worst pay-per-view of 2003, in my opinion. Judgment Day was worse, because it had more crap on it. But at least that ppv had 2 decent bouts. This struggled to have one. Whoever buys this DVD is simply crazy. And what was with the entire pay-per-view finishing about 10 minutes early!?!?!? What a waste after the excellent Survivor Series last month!!! Everything from the wrestling, to the booking, to the commentating was just plain mediocre here. I didn't even want to watch the follow up Raw, to be honest. Bring on The Royal Rumble & fast!!!


MAIN - 2003 Awards

Nothing out of the ordinary here folks. 15 awards & 15 winners. A short comment which, if I deem necessary, will include any runners-up. Please note that I don't think that I have seen enough NWA-TNA this year, so these awards are exclusively for the WWE. Just for memories & comparisons, I will include my 2002 award winners at the end of each award in brackets.

MALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Shawn Michaels - I know I'm a fan of his, but hear me out...Boy, this was a tough one to decide this year!!! I narrowed it down to 3 at the end; Michaels, Angle & Guerrero. Michaels concentrated almost exclusively on pay-per-views, Angle missed chunks of the year due to injury. While Guerrero was mainly used as a tag-team wrestler. I basically went back & tried to rate as many matches these 3 were involved in, but that just confused me even more. Everyone that loyally reads my columns know how much importance I place in ppv's, and that's the reason why I have chosen HBK. His opponents & types of matches were extremely diverse & true to his mid-90's form, he still managed (with the possible exception of his Armageddon match against Batista) to drag out excellent match after excellent match. (2002 winner: Kurt Angle)

FEMALE WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Trish Stratus - While Victoria has been under-used & Molly Holly has finally started to be used correctly, Stratus deserves the award this year. It's probably fair to state that Trish has been what every angle in the division this year has revolved around. Furthermore, she has steadily improved her wrestling after jumping leaps & bounds in 2002. (2002 winner: Victoria)

OVERALL PERFORMER OF THE YEAR: Eddie Guerrero - This award adds to the wrestling aspect, by including all other WWE segments. I just couldn't go past Eddie here. Again, there are valid arguments for Michaels & Angle, but considering that Eddie really never main-evented in 2003, I think he got the most out of what he was given to work with. Whether as a heel or face, a singles or a tag-team wrestler, he consistently got the job done in the ring, while being hilarious, intense, charismatic & confident on the microphone. The moral of the story; Please push him as a main event wrestler!!! (2002 winner: Kurt Angle)

TAG-TEAM OF THE YEAR: Los Guerreros - While these two shouldn't be teaming for much longer due to the fact that singles pushes are expected in 2004, they continued to team consistently throughout the year. Even when Eddie held the U.S Title, they still teamed effectively. Constantly getting the best out of their opponents, they have groomed the likes of Haas/Benjamin & The Bashams to step into their roles soon. (2002 winners: Billy & Chuck)

MOST IMPROVED WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: John Cena - Maybe I should re-name this award the "most improved performer"!?!?!? Either way, I don't think anyone has exceptionally improved their wrestling ability this year anyway, so I think Cena is the obvious winner here. His character has just taken off with fans like no-one could have expected. And this has been both as a heel & as a face. While only steadily improving his actual wrestling, he has got better by being in the same ring with the likes of Benoit, Angle & Guerrero. (2002 winner: Edge)

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Charlie Haas - In a year where there wasn't really a standout rookie, I have chosen Charlie Haas as the rookie that not only has adapted best in his initial year with the WWE, but also on his likely impact in the future. Technically sound, versatile & seemingly an excellent learner, Haas appears a certainty to be effectively used in the midcard at about this time next year. (2002 winner: Brock Lesnar)

DEBUT OF THE YEAR: Bill Goldberg - Pretty much having a huge impact immediately, Goldberg has consistently drawn a reaction from all types of fans. Yes, some of it at times has been negative, but it has nonetheless been a reaction. Furthermore, he seems to have found his feet toward the end of the year & it has been obvious with the quality of his matches steadily improving. (2002 winner: Rey Mysterio)

MOST UNDER-USED WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Chris Benoit - Usually, I have contenders lining up by the dozen for this award. Usually they are midcard talents being sparingly used in the undercard. But I don't think there were too many wrestlers that fit that mold this year (Could the brand extension actually be working!?!?!?) Maybe Matt Hardy. Maybe Hurricane Helms. But I had no choice but to look closer to the main event this year. The likes of Jericho, Booker, Kane & Eddie could all have been used better, but it was Benoit that was used the worst in my opinion. Often used in filler ppv matches (and occasionally not at all), his eventual shot at the WWE Championship 2 weeks ago was extremely overdue. This is especially the case considering the match & aftermath of his Royal Rumble bout against Kurt Angle. (2002 winner: Tajiri)

MOST OVER-USED WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Kevin Nash - I originally had given this award to Rodney Mack. I'd even written the paragraph out & all. But then I remembered that Nash was used in pay-per-view main events this year. That just screams out 'over-used' & he really did keep more deserving talent from their rightful spots for a few months there. If he didn't get injured when he did, there was even rumors going around that he would have become the World HeavyWeight Champion. My goodness me!!! (2002 winner: Ric Flair)

WORST WRESTLER OF THE YEAR: Rodney Mack - Nash was a contender here as well, but I suppose being around the main event occasionally lifted him to a decent performance. Mack had no such luxury, and at the end of the day, I just can't help but recall all the times that I reached for the remote control when he started to walk down the aisle toward the ring. Constantly shoved down our throats in angles that no-one cared about, Mack's push bordered on insulting fans. Very little talent in the ring & extremely uncharismatic, Mack needs to improve a lot more in order to earn the amount of television time than he got in 2003. (2002 winner: Jackie Gayda)

MATCH OF THE YEAR: Kurt Angle vs Chris Benoit (Royal Rumble) - Usually the most contentious award when it comes down to the year-end awards, this always depends on the style of wrestling & wrestlers an individual likes. But I thought that this time it was actually the easiest award to decide upon. In fact, I pretty much could have called this at the end of January, let alone the end of December. This match just had everything & was an absolute clinic. It obviously had all who were live at the event extremely involved in the bout, and I definitely know that I was also on the edge of my seat. The reaction to both wrestlers afterwards said it all. The only other matches that got close were Michaels vs Jericho (WM19), Team Bischoff vs Team Angle (Survivor Series) & Angle vs Lesnar (SmackDown). (2002 winner: Shawn Michaels vs Triple H from SummerSlam)

FEUD OF THE YEAR: Brock Lesnar vs Kurt Angle - The fact that these 2 guys had 2 separate feuds (reversing the roles of face & heel) was easily enough for me. I thought the original angle was excellent, lasting a good 3 months & ending in a very good main event at WrestleMania 19. Their encounters after the midway mark of the year weren't as well booked, but it involved some good matches & a very good Iron Man match on SmackDown. Other contenders for this award were Michaels vs Jericho & Bischoff vs Austin. (2002 winner: Vince McMahon vs Ric Flair)

BEST STORYLINE/ANGLE OF THE YEAR: Heels getting Stone Cold Steve Austin Fired - I really struggled to come up with anything here, as nothing whatsoever stood out. I narrowed it down to 3 choices; The Rock hilariously putting over The Hurricane & Christian, Hulk Hogan's feud with Vince McMahon & this eventual winner. I went with this angle, where Chris Jericho & Eric Bischoff successfully got Steve Austin fired, because it was pretty well booked over a few months, used many wrestlers to the overall good of the show, and put the icing on the cake with an excellent match at Survivor Series. (2002 winner: Bischoff debuting as Raw's General Manager)

WORST STORYLINE/ANGLE OF THE YEAR: What occurred following Kane's unmasking - Just to make it clear, I'm not saying that actually unmasking Kane was the worst angle of the year, nor what happened on the end of that episode of Raw. I'm speaking more of what occurred in the following weeks; The episode that wasted an enormous amount of time resulting in Shane McMahon pushing Kane into a burning dumpster. The following week that saw Kane appear with only a bandage or two. The setting alight of Jim Ross. And who could ever forgetting the the testicle electrocution of Shane!?!?!? All these did was make a joke of Kane's character & career. (2002 winner: Jericho's alliance with Stephanie against Triple H)

PAY-PER-VIEW OF THE YEAR: WrestleMania 19 - While it wasn't a great WrestleMania, this was still very much an above-average pay-per-view. With my 'PPV Rating' of 71 (B+), I had this event ranked ahead of Survivor Series & Royal Rumble. Apart from that, there were some average ppvs this year indeed. An excellent Michaels vs Jericho bout, was well complimented by the Angle vs Lesnar main event & 4 or 5 other above average matches. Furthermore, there wasn't anything really bad at WrestleMania 19. I suppose if it was any other ppv (and not WrestleMania), we would all have been raving about it. (2002 winner: SummerSlam)


Okely dokely, that's it for edition #71 of 'The Wrestling Menu'. I hope you enjoyed it. I'm sure there is something(s) in either my Armageddon review or my year-end awards that is right now annoying the hell out of you. Or maybe you think I hit the nail on the head with something I wrote today. Either way, please don't hesitate to send me your thoughts via e-mail. I'm always interested to hear your feedback & ideas. And you know that I will reply to all feedback. My e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com

It's just a week now until Santa comes stumbling down our chimneys. What!?!?!? What do you mean Santa's not real!?!?!? I'm unsure if I will have a column posted on Christmas Day or on New Years Day. It will depend on my work & personal schedule. If not, I wish all my readers an exceptionally merry Christmas, and a safe & happy new year. Whenever my next column will be (January-7 at the latest), it will include my 2004 predictions for the WWE, amongst other things. Until next time, this is DaveyBoy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.













*NEW GALLERY* Very RARE and Personal Backstage Photos of the WWE Divas!

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