WWE Raw Results 12-15-03
Submitted by Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer on Monday, December 15, 2003 at 11:17 PM EST



One day removed from the aptly named Armageddon comes Monday Night Raw. JR and The King immediately hype the main event of RVD, HBK and Goldberg vs. Ric Flair, Batista and Triple H.

Battle of the Sexes II: Trish Stratus and Lita vs. Christian and Chris Jericho
Jericho refused to fight Trish, tagging Christian to avoid it. When Lita jumped on Christian's back, however, he had no problem pulling her off. The ladies tried the pick and move strategy from last night, but this time Christian caught them. He had Trish pinned, but lifted her up. He then gave her the unprettier and went for the pin, which Jericho pulled him off of. Jericho told the ref to stop the match, and pushed Christian down.

Eric Bishoff came down and demanded to know why he stopped his match. Jericho called him a son of a bitch and said he never wanted the match in the first place. Bishoff became irate and said he made the match for him but if he doesn't want to fight girls, he'd fight someone equally as angry later, Kane! Then he had something that would reshape the face of Raw for Mick Foley.

--Commercial--

Back from the commercial Bishoff was still awaiting Mick Foley, who came down. Mick says his idea is bringing back Stone Cold Steve Austin. He mentions his one million signatures, and says he has a meeting next week to try and get Austin back. Austin will be at the meeting as well, he says. Bishoff says the people love him, not as a Co-GM but as the Hardcore Legend. He brings up the energy from last week when the Rock, and then shows an excellent video of Mick Foley's rise to stardom. When it ended, the crowd chanted Foley. Bishoff said the people don't want Co-GM Foley, they want to Hardcore Legend Mick Foley. Dude Love said he has been toying around with the idea of getting in the ring for real, but when he does it will be under his terms and no one else’s. Bishoff wanted to settle things tonight, with Foley vs. Orton. Should Orton lose Eric Bishoff resigns, but if Foley lost he would have to resign. Foley refuses unless Eric Bishoff gives him the best referee in the business, Earl Hebner, and Evolution are banned from ringside. Bishoff agrees but Foley needs one more thing and that is banning Eric the former WCW executive from ringside as well. Bishoff says they have a deal. Then Foley realizes he was never the IC championship, so he makes the match a title match.

--Commercial--

After the break JR and The King are glowing over the return after the Hardcore Legend.

Booker T and Maven vs. Mark Henry w/Theodore Long and Matt Hardy version 1.0
A replay of Maven being destroyed by Batista and being "Pinned" last night plays. Matt fact: Matt always utilizes toilet seat covers. Maven played the face in peril. Booker came in and cleaned house. Maven got a cross body to the outside onto Henry before Booker T hit the axe kick on Hardy for the win.

The Coach was backstage and hyped his interview Goldberg... next.

--Commercial--

When Goldberg saw who was at his door he slammed it in his face. Coach said no one disrespects him, especially former champions. He went in Bill's Locker room and we heard the sounds of a man being beaten. A moment later he was thrown out, begging forgiveness, and Goldberg walked away. Before their match La Resistance told the fans that The Rock was not here tonight, since they kicked his backside last week. They claimed to not be Fi Fi, and that they supported Eric Bishoff tonight. Goldberg's music hit after Lillian began announcing their opponents and he came down to destroy the evil Frenchman. La Resistance needs French Greg badly. After the assault Goldberg hoisted the American flag to the delight of the crowd. Bishoff showed up and berated Bill for wreaking havoc and beating his top announcer, The Coach. He deactivated Goldberg for the next thirty days.

--Commercial--

JR complains at Bishoff's actions and the King tries to calm him. They hype up the match between Foley and Orton. Backstage Mick Foley asks someone off camera if it is possible to wrestle just one more match. The camera pan back and there is HBK. Shawn says he had only came back for one more match, yet here he is. Mick asked if the moment where he beat Triple H was worth all the sacrifice he's made this year. Shawn said it was worth it. So Foley asked for the flannel shirt on the chair, because he had a match to wrestle.

--Commercial--

RVD and Shawn Michaels vs. Evolution's Ric Flair, Batista and Triple H
Lillian announced this was now a handicap match. Despite being outnumbered the faces held their own surprisingly well during this match, especially against Batista and Ric Flair. At one point HBK drove Flair into the ropes face forward for a rollup but Triple H hit him off from the corner. Meanwhile, Flair seemed to his hit his nose into the rope and rolled out of the ring momentarily. Evolution worked over Shawn, but Flair had the bright idea of going to the top rope. That, of course, allowed Michaels to get the tag to RVD. While attacking Batista, Mr. Monday Night bumped the ref, and thus was unable to get the pin after the 5*. Triple H and Flair ran in, and RVD ate a pedigree. An unconscious Batista was placed on an unconscious rob, but at the last moment Van Dam kicked out. Flair came in and gave Rob the Figure 4.

--Commercial--

After the break Triple H is in the ring with van Dam, continuing the assault on Rob's legs. RVD managed to surprise Flair, but was unable to get the tag before Batista came in and dragged him away. Finally HBK got the tag and faced off against Triple H. Then he took it to the entire team. He hit the top rope elbow drop on the Heavyweight Chamion and began tuning up the band. That of course, didn't happen. RVD splashed Batista and Ric Flair outside the ring, leaving HBK and Hunter alone on their backs. When they got to their feet Michaels tried the super kick, but it was blocked. Out of no where he hit Sweet Chin Music anyway and pinned Triple H for the win.

--Commercial--

Rico w/Miss Jackie vs. Jon Heidenreich
A replay from Rico's victory on Heat is shown. John came down with terrible music and zero crowd response. Throughout the match Rico played up his homosexuality with dancing and hugging Heidenreich to escape a bear hug. This was a terrible match with no notable features, except for Jon trying to play face in peril to Rico, who is half his size, and the crowd chanting boring. After Jackie distracted Big Jon Rico hit the hangman's noose neck breaker to defeat Heidenreich a second time in a row.

Backstage Jericho knocked on Trish's door, and asked if she was okay. Trish said she wasn't okay - but she at least knew the real Chris. She said the real Chris was an asshole and she didn't want him to ever speak to her again. The camera cut away and Kane was walking toward the screen illuminated in red light.

--Commercial--

A replay of the Battle of the Sexes match earlier in the night is shown.

Chris Jericho vs. Kane
As Jericho struggled almost helplessly against the monster Kane JR and King debated whether or not Jericho is really in love with Trish, or pretending again. Jericho worked as a face this whole match, usually by being on the unhappy side of offense, such as when Kane press slammed Jericho over the top rope. Finally Jericho, out of desperation, Chris slammed Kane in the face with a steel chair to get disqualified. Kane Stood up quickly and kicked him in the face though. After the bell Kane hung Chris up in the tree of wall and strangled him with the camera wire. Jericho was then pulled up for a choke slam.

After the match Christian came down to see to what was left of Jericho, and then push him down into the corner.

--Commercial--

The WWE superstars were shown visiting an Air Force base, and shown military personnel got some camera time in the front row. Afterward, Bishoff paced in his office until Randy Orton entered. He suggested a strategy of wearing the old and out of shape Foley out. Then, he told him to ignore the rumors that the guys say he doesn't have what it takes to get to the next level. Orton promised that he would show everyone he has what it takes. Foley was walking down the backstage area, where the good guys of the WWE wished him luck. When Shawn did Foley wished him luck instead, because he just made a match for HBK vs. Triple H in two weeks.

--Commercial--

I wonder how Triple H feels about jobbing and having one of his lackey's higher on the card than him? Foley stalled for a long time, refusing to get in the ring. Then, without wrestling Mick walked out of the arena, leaving Orton in a state of disbelief. The Legend Killer went looking for the Co-GM. The camera cut backstage and Foley went to grab his stuff from his locker room. Bishoff said that if he walked out the stipulation stood. Orton ran up and asked what happened to their match. "Is that a tear Mick? Is Mick Foley gonna cry? Ya know what Mick? Legends don't cry, legends don't walk away. Mick Foley, you're not a legend, you're a coward" - Randy Orton, before spitting in Mick Foley's face. Foley walked out, and the show faded to black. What. The. Fuck?

--End--

Match Results:
Battle of the Sexes II: Trish Stratus and Lita faced Christian and Chris Jericho to a no contest.
Booker T and Maven defeated Mark Henry and Matt Hardy version 1.0
RVD and HBK vs. Evolution's Ric Flair, Batista and Triple H
Rico defeated Jon Heidenreich
Kane defeated Chris Jericho via disqualification.

Hate Mail:
your a horrible writer. why do you even bother writing a column. It sucks and is extremely hard to read. your sense of humor is retarded. i suggest you give up your two bit half ass reviews. your ruining the website with your bullshit. you son of a bitch. if i would ever see you in person id make you eat shit. you shit eating fucker. learn how to write a real column and shut the fuck up loser. you despicable piece of shit. committ suicide.

I think I will do that. Dying, dying - My God, it's full of stars...

The Undead version of Rommel can be contacted on AIM name XvRommelvX.








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