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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, December 14, 2003 at 3:49 PM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman – Oh Well… Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! I wasn’t surprised by Monday Night. I thought about it on, and had a few conclusions going into it. First, some one from WWE was reading my stuff (unlikely), or some one who reads my column sent in my idea (more likely). Some things were too coincidental to just ignore, like the dollar coin part, but the time delay in enacting the bet scenario led me to believe that the later was more likely. So, there was no time to put my plan into action, and after Monday, looks like they won’t be going with it. WWE could, but man, it will take some rewriting, and I’ll just let it slide, and start some direct contact with WWE. Hey, they liked my idea, so maybe they’ll like some others…? But let’s get into what went down this week, as the PPV is this Sunday. Have you forked out your money yet? No? Can’t say I blame ya. WWE TV – The Series Raw Recap info provided by Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer The good thing about this whole angle, at least I can say I didn’t write it. Thank goodness for last week’s column. It’s in print. And dated. Jericho, Christian, Lita, and Trish, Love Connection Flowers, and then a denial. That turned creepy. But of course. It progresses to pissed off women, and a beat down on the guys, who get rescued by the Dudley’s. Christian and Jericho are back in the tag ranks. Later on, the one thing I was really hoping not to happen, happened. They have a match against Trish and Lita at the PPV. Yes, Jericho could turn on Christian and help the ladies. That’s about the only bright side I could see to it. Time to move on. Evolution H is there tonight! Ric said so! Ric also said he’s not going to go anywhere near the ring! No camera time for H. Great plan! I really like it! Batista vs RVD Very stiff match. Hey, did you know that Batista is from a broken home and had to fight for everything? That was his intro, and I haven’t forgotten it. He’s improved greatly; I will give him credit for that. Both on the mic and in the ring. But those crop circle veins on his arms still freak me out. Rock, Sock, and Frogs The Rock came back to Raw to hang with his old buddy Mick. Not a bad return, but I noticed he was rusty. He still played the crowd, but there were some moments when he lost them, but he roped em back in. That is why he is so great, he can adapt. The poor Frogs got their asses whooped, and now are officially dead. Thanks for comin’, get the F out. Mark Henry and Booker T Poor Booker T. A bearhug as a finisher? Mark Henry, three more years. Goldberg vs Kane, Lumberjack match Didn’t stay up to see it, and haven’t bothered to watch the tape yet. Even though Mark Henry, The World’s Most Athletically Gifted 400 Lbs. Plus Athlete Alive Today is among them, Goldberg still wins. That’s all I really needed to know. Interesting note about Raw. Triple H was scheduled to attend, but apparently couldn’t, due to movie work. So the show was probably rewritten on the fly to make up for his absence. Smackdown Recap info provided by Justin "Locura" Pratt Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar Brock is now the greatest of all time. Just like H. Paul says that Benoit will never get another title shot. Brock starts insulting the crowd and Rey pops up to make the save. Rhyno vs Bradshaw You know, when you got all these Hosses running around, Rhyno doesn’t look so intimidating. At least he still got a win on national TV. Fluffy, the Face It looks like Fluffy made the face turn, and helped further the betting angle of the FBI. It also set up a Matt Morgan vs Fluffy match down the line. Good for Fluffy, I think Albert does have some skill and working a program with Morgan will help the rookie out. The Bashams are hanging out with the crowd, getting sodomized by Shaniqua, and making bets on themselves. Wait, they were dressed normally. I hope the gimps have finally shed their perverted ways, and can just get on with the wrestling. Shannon Moore Beats Fluffy, and then escapes. His first victory. Good job. Then Fluffy gets beat down by Show and Morgan. Ernest "The Cat" Miller Well, it didn’t take long did it? He accosts Sable, and then dances in his underwear. So much for smooth talking cool Cat, and hello wacky Cat, who is "just plain nuts". Guereros vs Team Angle Team Angle really isn’t Team Angle anymore, but folks (including me) still call them that. I just find it interesting. Fantastic match, and given plenty of time too. Eddie was apparently injured during the match, and it looked it, but he still cranked it out. Los Guerreros sneak out a victory. Big Show and John Cena That my friends, was something great. A solid feud in the works. Big Show was funny, and actually good. Cena got the last laugh, but Show can always pound him into the ground later. A very well done skit, but I think Show took the comments too hard. A small thing that can be fixed with a beating. He may not have all the verbal skills to beat Cena, but he sure as heck has the physical. Since Taker took the time to train the rookie in the art of sucking, I mean Punch-Kicking, a good match between Show and Cena should be coming. Don’t forget that Show has been working with Benoit, Lesnar, and Angle, and those guys have helped him work on his actual wrestling skills. It’s also good for Cena since he can now try his hand at working with a bigger guy and adapting some of his actual wrestling skills. Some additional thoughts are that Big Show should lose the belt, due to Cena interfering. These two can build up enough interest to make it a solid feud, while the belt gets some exposure on say Fluffy. Other feuds need the belt to help make it interesting, but these two don’t. The belt is no the motivation in this feud right now, but it could be later, elevating the belt, and the person who gets it. This feud can go on for months, right up to WM, and a PPV main event in Feb. Tazz and Cole talk about old times. Tazz says the hold Brock used was the Brock Lock, but a faithful reader Justin informed me that it was called the "Stretch Muffler", a move he found in the Smackdown video game. Well, it’s good to see the WWE at least trying to sync up it’s stories. Brock is using a move from a video game? Not bad, not bad at all. Chris Benoit Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that Benoit is going to be saddled with the "F The World" gimmick Paul used on Tazz? Brock vs Rey Great match that was also given plenty of time. Good use of psychology, with Rey attacking Brock’s extremities, and good use of Brock’s sheer power. The only thing I didn’t like was the use of the Brock Lock. It looked kinda silly. Then, for an after match beatdown was taking place, frigging Hardcore Holly made the save, in a mask. A very well put together show. I liked the segment of WWE superstars going to Iraq, and the almost blatant begging of the USO for more high profile celebrities to come over. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great move for WWE to do some good PR work. It’s a very kind gesture, but I know that WWE will try to make it more than it is, and try to capitalize on it, instead of just letting the action speak for itself. Wevv’s House (Next To The Cemetery) Living Room Bossman and Big Show are plunked down on the couch, flipping through the channels on TV. Wevv comes in the front door, with bags of groceries piled around him. He shifts the weight, then looks up into the living room. He puts a few bags on the counter, stretches his back, and then takes a hard look at Bossman and Big Show. Wevv: What’s up guys? How’s the movie going? Bossman:We had to call it off. Apparently, we’re not part of the " eligible extra-curricular activities". Big Show: Yeah, you borrow a few cars, and some equipment, and next thing you know, you have the Dean calling you. Bossman: Stupid Dean. Big Show: yeah. Bossman flips through some more channels, as Wevv just shakes his head. Wevv: Well, since you’re not doing anything, how bout you help me carry in the groceries. You guys eat most of this stuff anyway; the least you can do is help carry it in. Big Show: You know, we offered to help you go shopping for it. Wevv: Uh-huh, and what happened? Bossman: Hey, the lady said they were free! Wevv: Not the whole aisle, Bossman. Bossman: How was I supposed to know? Wevv: I think the fact that she chased you down and tackled you would have given it away. Big Show: That was something to see. Old girl had some legs on her, and it was a great tackle. Those turkey dos you were carrying went flying, and then she kicked your ass. Bossman: Caught me by surprise, that’s all. Hard to fight when you’re loaded down with freebies. Wevv: Right Bossman, just keep telling yourself that. Wevv opens the door, and there sitting amidst the piles of discarded wrappers is Mark Henry, stuffing his face. Wevv: What the…? Bossman: Mark Henry?!? Big Show: Hey! He’s eating all our food! Those are my Ding Dongs! Mark Henry: Uh-oh! Time to make my escape! Mark Henry waddles to his feet and starts to run away. The ponderous lumbering of Mark Henry stuns Wevv, Bossman, and Big Show. Wevv: Well, aren’t you going to stop him? Bossman: Yep, just let me get my gear. Big Show, keep an eye on him! Big Show: No problem. Take your time. He’s almost to the end of the driveway. Wait, he’s pausing to catch his breath. He’s off again! Hurry Bossman, he’s almost past the mailbox! Well, at least Mark Henry got something out of it, though the students didn’t. That’s not true. They learned to never trust Bossman, a valuable lesson to learn in life. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic : Mania Mania Wrestlemaina 20 is only a few short months away, and the frenzy has already built to a high pitch. Folks are going nuts with speculations as to who will be showing up, and columnist are having fun coming up with scenarios for the event. I guess the year of hyping the thing is paying off. Let’s go over what we know for certain so far. The event is going to be held at Madison Square Garden, it takes place on March 14, and is expected to be a whopping five hours long. That’s about it. No matches have been announced yet, and as for past superstars being in attendance, nothing is set in stone. They may have plans to be there, but things can change in the intervening months. I’d like to take this time to talk about the PPV schemes in general. Now that enough spilt brand PPV’s have taken place and the next step seems to be inter-promotional matches, let’s throw some ideas out there. The spilt brand PPV’s haven’t done what the joint ones have done in the past. That can be attributed to the business being down overall. But there are enough legs under the separate shows to continue doing them. The joint brand PPV’s have done slightly better business, but nothing spectacular, or enough to scrap the whole separate concept. So, without canceling the whole shebang, maybe it’s time to rethink the tactics behind the concept. I am a big supporter of getting the feel of competition back into wrestling. With football season winding down, the intensity picks up, and the viewing of games becomes more exciting. Why? Because it’s do or die time, and each game means something in the long run. Will said team be able to make it to the Superbowl? Each playoff game comes under scrutiny. Will the best team win? Or will it be a fluke? These are the grounds on which great rivalries are born. It’s a big deal (or at least a deal) when these teams face off next season. Without actually doing anything but letting the fact that this is a playoff game be known, attendance picks up, and money starts being made. The teams are important, but the game itself is a good selling point. WWE could learn something from this. Wrestlemania is the "Superbowl" of wrestling. What does that actually mean? It’s the biggest show of the year. That’s about it. How is it the biggest show of the year? Well, it’s been going on for 20 years. That’s about it. Just the name Wrestlemania is the key selling point. It really is amazing. It’s sold out and not a single match has been announced. Everyone has some idea of what’s supposed to happen, but there’s not one solid piece of information to back it up. But selling out a building isn’t what it used to be. Now, it’s all about PPV buys. WM should do well, but I think there is a way to make it better, and start a new tradition, one that could carry over tot he other PPV’s, and help make them more important. First, let’s go back to the real sports world and look at the basics of the playoff system. It’s mostly two conferences, competing against each other, and then they square off in a final series to determine which is the best. Now, regardless of which team actually wins the contest, fans will still support their own teams. Making it to the finals is a time of rejoicing, though there may be some tears when all is said and done. Now, the idea of inter-promotional matches, and a "champion vs champion" scenario has been making its way through the news blurbs. I think is a really good idea. In a long-term scenario, it can be used to set up all kinds of angles, and help make the sense of competing brands even stronger. It can also help make the joint PPV’s even stronger. By making Wrestlemaina an actual Superbowl of wrestling, it gives it a feeling of being truly something special, regardless of who’s in the actual matches. It’s history being made, not just another WM. Put the tag titles, heavyweight belts, and even the US vs IC title, and you got yourself one heck of a PPV. Keep a win loss record of the matches and the old "down to the wire, do or die" angle can be trotted out, to add that extra "oomph" to angles. Survivor Series, SummerSlam, and the Royal Rumble can be used as "playoff games". Sumerslam can be a rematch of certain matches from WM. Royal Rumble a scouting out of the opponents, and help determine who the best of the best truly are. Survivor Series can be a scrimmage between the two brands. Pre-Season if you will. The individual PPV’s can be used to hype the fact that the best possible champion is being determined. These are the shows where angles can take precedence over titles. Now grudges can come into play, old scores are settled, and at the end of the show, a champion reigns supreme. Until the following nights show. In a nutshell, playoffs mean money. Regardless of the sport. When playoffs come, ratings go up, fan interest is peaked, and the folks who may not have been that interested, start picking up team spirit. Wrestling can do the same, and the final decision of who gets to be number one, and who can carry the product forward is still in Vince’s hands. For better or for worse. That’s all for today. I have quite few random thoughts to throw out there, so while Bossman and Big Show take care of Mark Henry, and get the hearse ready, let’s get to it. Casting is now taking place for X-Men 3. Negotiations for roles have just started, and it looks like there are going to be some changes. Will Halle Berry come back? What about Ian McKellin? I bring this up for one important reason. There is one WWE superstar who I think would be excellent to play a role in the film. The character hasn’t been used yet, but could be on tap. Juggernaut. Who better to play Juggernaut than Big Show? It’s a perfect role for him. I just hope that WWE can takes it’s eyes off of H long enough to try to get the big guy some solid work. Speaking of movies, and casting, WWE has announced that it plans to unleash a horror movie. This is exactly like WCW. Where’s DDP when you need him? Plans are in the works, and rumors have it that Taker will get a part. I disagree. Kane should get it. Isn’t he the scary monster who watched his pet dog decompose in his basement? There is no confirming report that the movie will be based on the Katie Vick angle, but it’s not like Vince to ever throw an idea way. Smell the box office success. Goldust was fired for being "injury prone". It’s not like Goldust was as injury prone as say; H, Nash, Batista, Taker, Sylvan Grenier, or even risks like HBK, Austin, Angle, Lesnar. Using that as an excuse was just plain lame. Apparently the Mick Foley consulting gig was just a play on the real deal. Consultants were backstage at Raw and Smackdown this week. Man, I would love to see their reports. Also, coming soon, is the Second Annual Bossman Awards. Yep, a whole year of wrestling highlighting in my own special way, what was good and what was bad, and whatever the hell else I feel like giving an award to. Have a whole year of Observers to go through to refresh my hazy memory, so it’s gonna take some time. But it will be done before the new year. That’s about it. Time for plugs! Mr. Tito goes off on Nash, and I say I’m right there with ya buddy. He also reviews Raw, and sounds off on a variety of topics. Read it all right HERE: Wrath Of Tito Dumass just cuts lose. So much so, that it’s almost impossible to summarize it. Free flowing hostility, some digs at others sites, and just some blatant opinions. Read it all right HERE: A Dumass Thought Jim lays out his plans for Wrestlemania 20. You know Jim put a lot of thought into it, and backed it all up with common sense. See what Jim would do for WM 20, and be sure to send him your thoughts! The Forzese View Davey has his picks up, and I will refrain from commenting on them. There’s more than one reason to read his column, though, and that’s because he responds to feedback about his WM 20 card. Read it and place your wagers accordingly. The Wrestling Menu Phantom Lord, your personal Harvester of Sorrow, talks about Lionel Tate, shares his love of Ozzy, and rants about TNA, and Armageddon, amongst other tasty topics. That’s why it’s called Rant of the Week. The Rant Of The Week Snapple has his Ultimate WM 20 Card up, and also makes predictions for Armageddon. He also takes a well deserved bow for his awesome Ric Flair DVD review, Wrestling In A Bottle Mandatory Plugs! LOP FORUMS! LOP MERCHANDISE! WHAT ARE YOU, FRIGGIN SCROOGE??? BUY SOMETHING!!!! LOP Columns Forums! Hey You goes gushy over Spanky and London, Lunatic Boy cranks out an excellent look at the problems facing wrestling today, Chad Mathews makes his debut, and randomguy # 5 asks that RVD be injured? Now for the Big Plug EXCUSE THE AGGREVATION Doublehelix and Xanman have really got something there. It’s a great read, full of fresh ideas and concepts. I highly recommend it. Now I’ll be flooded with plug requests. Let’s hit the streets before they start poring in. Come on Bossman, Big Show, get on that casket and let’s ride. No, Don’t try to run over Mark henry. Yes, I know he’s an easy target, but think of what he’ll do the hearse? I ain’t got that kind of money. Until next Time, Thanks For reading and Thanks For Ridin’ Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Must See Hot Shots of the TNA Knockouts CROSSING THE LINE!
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