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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, November 30, 2003 at 4:22 PM EST
Ridin With The Bossman – Simply Thankful Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! Hope your Thanksgiving Day was filling and restful. Now that’s over, you can start your Christmas Shopping RIGHT NOW! DON’T WAIT! GO BUY STUFF NOW! HURRY! ONLY 24 DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS! START BUYING NOW AND DON’T STOP! You know, Thanksgiving used to be a holiday in it’s own right, not a launching pad for Christmas retail stores to start hocking crap at you. American Idol didn’t even wait, but launched a pre-emptive strike. I just don’t get American Idol, how the hell are these people famous? They lost a contest didn’t they? And they’re still on TV? Nevermind, let’s get to something that makes sense. Wrestling. Who’d a thunk it? WWE TV – The Series Raw Thanks to Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer It’s time for another Raw, and the streak of JR actually calling matches, while bitch-slapping King back into place continues. Good for JR. He still goes overboard on the H Hype, but for the most part, it seems like JR has rediscovered what it is he’s supposed to do. Call the friggin matches. We start things off with Raw Roulette. Bischoff explains the wheel, and then HBK and Batista square off. "Jacked up nimrod" that’s good. Don’t know if I agree that SS was the "fight of HBK’s life" but it was a solid moment. Bischoff is slowly getting to be The Man. Victoria vs Lita Chicks in a steel cage? Well, that’s something new. If King hadn’t been too obsessed with Victoria’s thong, it would have been excellent. Text book ending to a great effort. The ladies have really been cranking it up these past few months. It’s a shame that Gail broke her shoulder, but on the bright side, when she does return, it’ll be a fresh face to help the division grow. Randy Orton vs Sergeant Slaughter Hey you know what? Randy spent some time in a military prison, but King fails to mention it. Go figure, the one time it might have helped a feud and King goes silent. You know, like "Randy has a history with military authorities," but no. Capture the Midget You know, I didn’t find it really funny as it was going on, but I did crack up at the payoff. A very well done skit, that didn’t have poop jokes, dick jokes, and other crap thrown in. Just straight up fun, and a good running (hah) gag going through the night. Rico and His Thong Not a bad match, and some good heat for Rico and Jackie. The silence when Rico comes out is not that much of surprise, since I get the feeling that folks really don’t know how to react to him. H vs Goldberg H did look better than previously, but it still wasn’t enough for me. Kane interfered, after a messed up finish (gotta protect H, I mean both guys), and the match for the next PPV was made. I really hope that Kane wins. I do not want to see the belt back on H. Putting it back on H would undo all the good that has been salvaged. Raw without H is actually pleasant ( if not always great, it hasn’t been horrible either) to watch. Once H was gone, hope returned, and that is always a good thing. Stone Cold Special A very good piece on Stone Cold. Very informative and well put together. The show also gave me a thought for future merchandise for SCSA. On Raw, the commercials for this special kept showing Stone Cold talking about his gold chain. 3 million fans now know that Brian Pillman gave the chain to him and he still wears it to this day, and always in the ring. That’s a good story. Now, my question is this. If Stone Cold came out with a simple gold chain, would you, the fans, be willing to plunk down $49.95 for it? I’m tempted, and I don’t wear chains. I think it would sell really well. Keep in mind that one of the best selling merchandise items was the Hardy Boys pendant. Other than that, it was cool to see Stone Cold’s kids, his ex wife, and basically have no real reason to buy his book. Maybe for Christmas. Smackdown Justin is on hiatus until after the Holidays, so it looks like it’s off to that other site for Bitter Canadian Reviews. This was one of the better shows I’ve seen in a while. Everything seemed to click really well, plots moved along, and by gum, no Vince. I do have some minor things that I thought weren’t up to snuff, but it’s just my thoughts on the matter. The Smackdown team did so many things right, and so many things I didn’t think of, that it was really enjoyable. Brock, Paul, And Everybody Else After writing my piece to put in Dubzilla’s 50th edition of Turnbuckle Tailgate (read it now in the Forums), I wasn’t expecting this. Man, it sure makes us look like geniuses doesn’t it? We fantasy booked Big Show, and some things needed to happen to set it up. The first five minutes of Smackdown were perfect for it. Brock addresses everyone and let’s them know he’s the Champion. He now has two guys to immediately feud with, Benoit and Cena. Show, who is always first seen with his belt (Good move), is now not even a second banana. That is a good thing, for right now at least. Noble, Nidia, Tajiri, and Akio I was trying to see if Nidia did get the huge implants, but couldn’t tell, since she now wears a coat, all the time. But the match between Noble and Akio was a bit rough, but showed great potential for future matches. Apparently being blind has also made Nidia slightly retarded. It’s the old shouting "I’m blind? What do I do with shoes? Do they go on my hands? I don’t know because I’M BLIND!" antics. Chavo Loves Drugs Mixing important public service announcements with angles is never a good thing. At least, it’s never been a good thing from WWE. I still foresee a doped out Chavo jumping off the Titan Tron in the near future. Hoss A Palooza The one good thing about the Hoss Invasion is that Albert is looking good. All these other green rookies have nothing on Fluffy, who has been around and always had a decent working style. He’s now guaranteed some TV time since some one has to work the upcoming matches, and do it well. Ernest The Cat OK, I was looking forward to the big debut of the Cat, and WWE made a huge deal out of his debut. Every single commercial for Smackdown was about the Cat. Now here it is. The antics were good, but there are some small things I’d change about his character. Ell, there’s a lot of small things I’d do differently. First, the butler should only announce the Cat and not talk that much. Just announce the Cat and fade into the background. Now the Cat should dance when he gets to the ring, say some lines, and then promptly wrestler. The excessive dancing should be done after the match and his win. That’s when the robe comes into play. Don’t have the Cat wrestle every week. Do more skits. Do lots of skits. Those are good. When Cat does appear to wrestle, it’s a treat for the fans. It also protects the Cat’s actual wrestling ability, which is not that good. Now you don’t have to feed guys to the Cat, only a few, and the loss will not taint future stars chances of getting over. Finally, spaz the fudge down, Cat. The ending was way too creepy for my tastes. Yes, Torrie is hot, but man, play it cool, not the fool. A rocky start, but it just needs some slight tinkering to make it work and Godfather 2003 will be reborn. Battle Royal I liked it. It took EVERYONE to take Big Show out. It may be the first steps to making Show into a Giant and not just another Monster. The ending was a little confusing, but it does make sense in that WWE is trying to get two guys into the main event scene, and it feels like they’re not sure which one is going to get the spot. Shannon Moore I really like what WWE is doing with Shannon Moore. They’re building him up, yet he’s losing. But the way they’re pushing him is what makes me appreciate Paul Heyman’s talent. Shannon is competing against top tier guys, and while being squashed, is still hanging with the big dogs. What does the outcome mean, and how is this helping? I see it like this. One solid promo from Paul about how Shannon has managed to take on Brock Lesnar, Nathan Jones, Matt Morgan, Albert, and so on, and while e he may not have won, he was back the next week, ready to compete. So in his match tonight against (blank), who has this guy faced? IS he better than Brock Lesnar? No, so Shannon should have no problem beating him. Very good, and it really establishes Shannon as an underdog who won’t give up. Every dog must have his day, and when Shannon gets his, I expect good thing. Not a title run with the Big Belt, but a solid mid card feud. So that was Smackdown. The show is in a very strange position. They have no PPV of their own coming up for quite some time. I think February is the next Smackdown only PPV, and the one after that is WrestleMania. I’m still not sure how this schedule works out, but one thing is clear. The next Smackdown PPV is a joint one, and that means limited individual matches on the card. So all feuds must be carried through that time, There is no clear cut date to end feuds, so they can go as long as needed, and new ones must be created and ended on TV. I also expect some brand crossing on the one in Feb since the Big One is the following month, and H needs his glory time. Wevv’s House (Next To The Cemetery) Back Porch Wevv is sprawled in a lounge chair looking up at the stars, with a drink in his hand. Rowdy sounds are coming from inside his house. Thanksgiving dinner is over, and the fun begins as Big Show and Bossman wrestle for the couch. Wevv’s guests are placing wagers. A loud thump is heard, the booze in Wevv’s glass shakes and Bossman emerges a few seconds later. Wevv: Big Show get the couch? Bossman: Yeah, bastard pulled a fast one on me. Mantaur is up next, then Kimala, and Papa Shango, though pap seems to e slipping back into Godfather mode. The midgets have claimed the kitchen. But Show is getting tired, and Aldo Montoya keeps trying to get him to eat thin mints for some reason. Wevv: Damage? Bossman: Not that bad, though the coffee table is going to need replacing. How you doing? Wevv: Good, just enjoying the quiet, thinking about all the things I’m thankful for. Bossman: Turkey kicking in, huh? Wevv: Yep, I can barely move. But I am thankful for a lot of things. Like the opportunity to present my writing for the fine folks at LOP. I’m thankful for the guys and girls in the forums, like Pt2, Dubzilla, DoubleHelix, XanMan, Stej, Mehnes 316,Winter, Tinaali, and Optimus. Then there’s Jim and Davey on the main page. Phantom Lord, Stanman, and the honor of writing with Tito. It’s been a good run. Who’d a thunk over a year ago that I’d get this far? Bossman: It’s been a wild ride. Wevv: You got that right. Voice From Above: AREN’T YOU FORGETTING SOME ONE? Wevv: Yes, of course, then there’s Calvin Martin, Greatest Webmaster ever. Without him, I’d still be in the forums, and while cool, it’s not the same as running my underpants of a column up the IWC flagpole on the main page. Bossman: Yes, and I am completely innocent of the allegations against me of having LOP merchandise shipped over from Taiwan and sold for low, low prices out of the trunk of the hearse. I will not be coming to a town near you, since I am not involved in said scheme, and will not be offering first time buyers special deals on Coffee mugs, Tote bags, and the perfect gift for this Christmas to that special some one, the LOP thong. Wevv smacks himself in the head with his palm, shakes his head, and then looks over at Bossman, who is nervously scanning the sky. Wevv: Low, Low prices? Out of the hearse??? You have no shame do you? Bossman: None that I’m aware of. A thud from inside is heard, followed by some cheering. Bossman: Well, I better go see what’s going on. Once Big Show gets on the couch, the party usually winds down quickly. A snoring farting Big Show, can clear a room like no one’s business. Wevv: OK, Bossman, and hey Happy Thanksgiving. Bossman: You too Wevv. HEY YOU BASTARDS! PUT THAT DOWN! DON’T MAKE ME GIVE YOU SOME HARD TIME! Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: The Midcard Push The midcard is often forgotten about when thinking about fantasy booking for WWE. While it’s a fun pastime, the midcard is just as important as who’s going to get the belt. Without these guys, the show would be a lot shorter, and frankly, no one would really be able to get anywhere. It’s a rare occurrence when new talent is signed for them to be thrown into the Big Belt hunt. Some guys get the big push, while others seem to languish in the lower ranks. But for every fan favorite who gets overlooked, there are others who may not have what it takes to be a big star. Like Rico. What purpose does having a midcard get, and is being stuck there a benefit to the wrestler? The midcard is basically the group of guys who fill the space between title matches. They usually appear on TV, and mostly lose to make the other guy look good. Their matches are mostly entertainment matches, and have no real purpose in the grand scheme of things. Tier feuds consist of week to week stoylines, and usually last no longer than that. The tone is usually one of drama, though the occasional comedy bit pops up from time to time. What this means to the wrestler is that he gets to appear on TV. Guys like Test, Hurricane, Jamie Noble, and Rey Mysterio. They have a chance to show their stuff, and if they make an impression usually get a chance to move up the ladder. These guys also get more consistent TV time than some of the main eventers. The good thing about being a midcarder, is that while they may not win, they still get shown. Midcarders also provide a valuable service in their loses. It’s a measuring stick to see if the new star has a chance to work a good match, and see if they can generate heat against an established star. It’s a training ground to run some angles, and work some matches that won’t hurt the long-term plans for a wrestler. Midcard matches can also help set the tone for other matches, by giving the fans a chance to get back into the program after some horrible sports entertainment, or calming them down after an exciting match. These matches and skits help pace the show. While being a midcarder may not be a glorious job, there is always the chance that you may catch on, and be called up to take part in the main event. Such occurrences usually result in a loss, but it’s more along the lines of a reward for hard work, as opposed to punishment when you’re sent back down. Main eventing on Heat is still main eventing, and winning always helps. My philosophy for midcard matches is pretty close to what WWE does. I just think that a solid midcard guy should win more often than lose. He should beat a name every once in a while to keep his status secure. It’s a fine line between midcarder and jobber. A line that once crossed is hard to undo. Jeff Hardy was a solid midcarder, until he lost way too many times, and then became just another jobber. I also think that the midcard on Raw is too bloated with guys who should be working at a higher level. Booker T should be main eventing, and Jericho is upper midcard, but still a midcarder. Smackdown has a good handle on the midcard, as guys move through the ranks very freely, and when dropped a level, it fits with where they need to be. Like Albert, he dropped down to midcard after a high level feud, and now is going back up. A constant rotation keeps things fresh, and helps fans keep track of who’s who. So when Albert does pop up in the main event scene, folks can remember his previous ventures, and fans that have been paying attention to Velocity or what not, also know that the guy has been winning lately. For Raw, the upper echelon is too small. The names are limited to only H, Kane, HBK, and Goldberg. No one else is allowed to get near the Big Belt. That’s cutting out a lot of talented guys who could keep the ranks fresh, and hurts the rest of the roster. For the past year, H has had a challenger come up, and then gets squashed so bad, there was no other place for him to go, except way down the card. Now, the women’s division is another story. I like where they have them placed. Firmly in the middle. The belt is getting TV time, and the ladies are having matches on national TV, and until it gets some more talent, the mix is working just fine. Now some may say that the IC and US belts are helping the midcard scene. I disagree. The belts are worthless. Instead of being used to help elevate new talent, almost ready for the main event scene, they’re being given as consolation prizes. Instead of being titles in their own rights, talent that should be going for the Big Belts are holding them When they lose, it’s right into the main event scene for the loser, while the winner of the title gets to sit around, and squash some jobbers while waiting for the next Main Event guy to take it from him. The belts can’t even be seen as Second Place Champions since the titles haven’t been established as worthy. RVD with the IC belt is doing a good job, but that’s only because he knows how to work with a secondary belt. He had the TV title in ECW for over a year, and frankly, is just happy to be on TV. Part of the problem is the motivation for the main event feuds. They have become personal, instead of being for the belt and being a Champion. What could be done to help establish the midcard and their titles? I really don’t know. For Smackdown, I’d say get rid of the Crusierweight belt and let the Cruiser’s go for the US belt. On Raw, not much, until the main event scene gets more organized. The way things are now, Raw is bloated with midcarders, but has a good midcard belt, and Smackdown is doing a good job, but has a worthless belt. I’ll take good action over a mediocre title any day. Well, that’s about it for today. I do have some random thoughts, and a request to fulfill. I was asked to come up with a scenario for Booker T. I had touched upon a little plan I had, and after Monday I think I can expand on it. Booker T needs another buddy to take him back to the heights he once soared. That buddy would be Rico. Now, I’m not saying make a tag team out of them, that wouldn’t really help Booker. No, he needs another odd ball buddy to hang out with and have some good skits with. Rico would be perfect. See, I’ve noticed that when Rico comes out, even with the hot chick beside him, the fans are silent. They just don’t know how to react to Rico. Booker T is a character, and a good one. But he needs some one to play off of. With Rico and Jackie, he gets two to work with. Rico and Jackie can play up the whole closet queer angle, and Booker can play the straight man (in more ways than one). He can flirt with the chick, and Rico can chime in with some double entendre, and get a cheap laugh. Rico’s angle should be played for laughs, but as a heel, he’s not getting em. Let him turn face, be the butt of jokes, and then let him and Booker team up occasionally, and show folks that they can wrestle. Booker can start to position himself for a title shot, the fans can have a fu segment, and Rico can be the solid mid card guy that Raw needs. There’s some great potential there, and a chance to recapture the magic of BookDust, and that is what the fans remember about Booker, and what can make him a true superstar again. It’s a chance to make him a People’s Champion, the guy they laughed with, and can support and know that when Booker shows up, it’s going to be a fun time. To prove my point, here’s some 15 second skits. Guy # 1: Hey Booker, I hear you and Rico have a match tonight. You sure he’s got your back? Guy #2: That’s not all he’s got I hear! Booker: Oh I get it dog. Because he likes to dress up, is that it? Well, tell me something sucka. You seem like an attractive guy, how come I don’t see any ladies flocking around you, huh? How come you’re always hanging out in the locker room? When you get a girl as fine as Ms. Jackie here, then you can run your mouth dog. Rico: I’ll see you in the locker room later, Big Boy! Guy #1: Hey Booker, tell me something. Why is Ms Jackie hanging around with Rico, I hear he’s you know, a little off. Booker: Man, what are you asking me for? I don’t know what it is, but maybe some day he’ll tell me. Would you look at that? Jackie: You boys talking about me? Booker: yeah, this guys wants to know why you’re hanging around Rico Jackie: That’s easy. He’s a great dresser, and if you really want to know, I’ll tell you. (they lean in) Jackie: He’s a great dancer. Women love a man who can dance.(struts off) Guy #1: Hey, I can dance! (does a goofy dance) Booker: Man, better learn some new moves. Simple, easy, and at no time is the word dick, cock, balls homo, or ass play mentioned. Hint, don’t shout. The Basham’s and their perverted fun. Man, going through the airport must be fun. Having to open your bags and explain why you have a ball gag. Poor bastards. You know, I just can’t help but think this is the result of some new kick H and Steph might be on, with the whole dominatrix thing. Then I saw the Matrix Reloaded, and the scene in the nightclub. Now I know where they got it from. Still doesn’t help. Plug Time! Phantom Lord, Da Ref,a nd guest Blazing Phoenix answer your questions and solve the great mysteries of truth and fiction in wrestling. Always a great Read. Wrestlings Fact Or Fiction Phantom Lord checks in AGAIN, with another Rant of the Week. How can he hate turkey? There’s also a secret message for you inside! read it Now! Rant Of The Week Jim talks about the problems of being WWE creative. He also talks about Married With Children. Good comparisons and more await you. The Forzese View Mr. Tito watched some Raw, but covered bigger events in the wrestling world. He still manages to say some things about Raw, so read it now, and be ready for Monday. Wrath Of Tito Dumass reviews Wrestlcrap the Book, and then takes the time from his busy schedule to personally ask what wrestlers are thankful for this year. A Dumass Thought Dubzilla reached 50, and has a special column up in the forums for you to read. It’s mostly about Big Show, and it may surprise you. Check it out now! Turnbuckle Tailgate LOP Forums! LOP Columns Forum! XanMan checks in with the Northern Star, Tinaali writes about freaks (how can you resist freaks?), Gazz has his 3rd edition up, and Stej makes it to the big 2 and 0. Hey you also has a piece up on laying the blame. I blame H. LOP Merchandise! Get It Here! Not From Some Guy Out Of The Back Of A Hearse! That’s all for today. Fire up the hearse Bossman, and tie a string around some turkey and let’s lure Big Show off the couch. You know some folks have a problem with leftovers from Thanksgiving. Well, all I can say is they don’t know Big Show and Bossman. Until Next Time, Thanks For Reading and Thanks For Ridin’ Wevv Mang mrwevv@mac.com *NEW GALLERY* Stacy Keibler Looking Hot as Ever with Her New Boyfriend!
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