The Rant of the Week: Hello me, meet the real me.
Submitted by Phantom Lord on Sunday, October 26, 2003 at 6:02 PM EST



Greetings conversationalist’s all across the fruited plain. It is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of the Week. I know this is my second column in the span of a week (give or take), but when I am inspired to write I must do so quickly. Before I go into who inspired me to write this week, I guess I will do something that no one ever would expect me to do. I’m going to wish Triple H and Stephanie McMahon as Happy Wedding and a happy life together. Believe it or not, even if Triple H and McJuggs are the sole reason why the WWE is going down the shitter…even they deserve a happy life together. I am a firm believe of the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman. Everyone deserves a shot a happiness and true love. But let’s face the facts about this once they come back. Triple H will regain the title and continue to do nothing to elevate talent on RAW and it’s highly rumored that Princess Stephanie will come back at the Survivor Series to help her Daddy beat The Undertaker. This is such a stupid idea. But here’s the logic for it. Basically Vince smacked some sense into Stephanie (Because as we know from time to time you just need to smack a woman around to feel good about yourself) and she will be a good little girl to get her job back. Nepotism works wonders, eh folks?

I said this a while back in my Phantom Saves the WWE column (Which btw it looks like they are going to use my Kane/Undertaker idea for WM 20) that the most logical thing to do with Triple H and Stephanie would be to re-unite them on television. We in the “know” they are really getting married. Stephanie and Triple H have said so in real life on television interviews. What would of made sense at No Mercy would have been having Triple H coming out in a “shoot” moment to save Stephanie and wisk her away as she lost the match and then they come back a few months later saying they got back together and remarried. It would work wonders considering all the sappy soap opera shit they are going for these days. Plus they want to turn Triple H back to a face. This is the only way it could possibly work since Vince would love another feud between himself and Triple H. At the end of it, then you have Stephanie swerve and help her Daddy. I mean it’s better then her just coming back because she didn’t say I Quit.

Well in any event, I’ve always said I do my best writing when I am pissed off. I got this piece of feedback by someone going by the name Hellcock. I know, make your own assumptions about that one. But here’s what he said and needless to say I am now going to use my bully pulpit to dissect him.

It seems to me that you decided not to write a column, but a tribute to a guy who won't make more than $200 a week. It's sad. Just because he thinks he knows the business (because I lived it.... Ha) thinks he knows what’s best for a multi-billionaire business. BULLSHIT. If you ask his wrestlers, he is probably the shittiest promoter they have worked for (or the exact opposite, they seem to be extremes). But we are at a time where wrestling is sad. If you want to save it, write a letter to Vince and ask for a chance to write for the show. He has granted this request before. .

Ok first off I did not write a tribute to Dumass. I attempted to do an actual interview to get some insight on this damn business that someone said in a previous feedback that I have no right to criticize since I don’t run my own company. I mean I could have gone off on a vast amount of subjects last week, but I didn’t. I chose to provide you my readers with a look into the mind of someone who actually does this stuff for a living. I thought for the most part I did a damn good job with my attempt at real wrestling journalism, but according to this one reader all I did was pay tribute to some guy who will never be. You know we never claim we know what is best for a multi-billion dollar business like the WWE. We just highly suggest that we know. I mean it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the company is losing money faster then they can make it.

But you know what, I think it’s time you all meet the real me. For the last columns I have tried my best to be unbiased as possible in my writings and I’m sick an tired of being Mr. Logical. I did not make my name on the LOP Message board’s by just being The Voice of Reason. I made my name by telling it exactly how it is and everyone had two choices when reading my posts. Agree with me or prepare to go to war to prove me wrong. So right now I am going tell you all exactly how it is. First and foremost, Hellcock...you don’t know shit. It’s people like you that keep McMahon thinking that shit he produces is what we all want to see.

I am sick and tired of watching the WWE and seeing the same stuff over and over. RAW has been slowly getting better over the last few weeks, but Smackdown is now doing what RAW was doing wrong in the first place. It's an endless cycle in the WWE. Raw will get moderately good while Smackdown goes down in a ball of flames. Then just as you think it’s over the cycle will repeat itself with RAW taking a nosedive and Smackdown becoming great. It’s a never ending process and we the long time fans will always suffer. It’s like I’ve always said I have been a fan with the WWE through thick and thin. Hell I was a Diesel mark for god’s sake back in 95. I still think Kevin Nash is useful. But he’s best in the announce booth…Far away from the ring. But back to the matter at hand, right now Smackdown is starting to take that nosedive. Having Paul Heyman come back as the GM of Smackdown was a great idea. But it’s clear his demented mind has no imput into the show it self because I can safely say Paul Heyman would of never booked a show like that. But what is the point of having Heyman as the GM for a month because at the end of the Survivor Series, Daddy’s Little Girl one way or another will get back her position of power on Smackdown and Paul Heyman will be left as a supporting player to yet another McMahon saga.

Moving along, it looks like the planet’s were not lined up like I hoped for because Hulk Hogan conveniently needs to get his knee operated on and that has delayed the Bound for Glory PPV from NWA-TNA till early next year. I can’t say that I’m surprised that something like this happened. With Hulk Hogan you get what you pay for. Sure the guy could make a cemetery rise to it’s feet and chant his name, but let’s face the facts on this one. Vince McMahon is in full desperation mode right now and Hulk Hogan only has a verbal commitment with TNA. TNA needs to get the ball rolling on something big between now and Wrestlemania for the WWE. If they plan to become a viable number one, they have to showcase the amazing talent they have. They need to show the common fans that “Hey, our product flat out owns theirs”. I mean let’s look at what TNA is doing right now compared to the WWE. Raven is going through the New Church where he plans to get to Father James Mitchell and drain the blood from his body after he beats the snot out of him. To get to him, Raven has to go through Vampiro and next week he will take him on in a match where to win you must hang your opponent from the ropes with a dog collar till his passes out. Much more interesting then Mizark Henry trying to convince people he’s worth a shit.

The bread and butter of TNA always has been and always will be the X-Division. It’s highly rumored that A.J. Styles will be going back to the division and they will build him as the Messiah of Crusierweight Wrestling. Ok, maybe not the Messiah but he will be the focal point of the division that he should have always been in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, I think A.J Styles was a great NWA World Heavyweight Champion (Even if he was second fiddle to Russo/Jarrett). But at this point in his career, A.J is not ready to be on the level of the World Heavyweight Champion. The World Heavyweight Champion is the one the show must be focused around. Styles was pretty much a midcarder keeping the title warm for Jeff Jarrett. Jeff is now the World Champion and the focus of the show will be on him now since he made the mistake of awakening the Mid South version of Jimmy Hart from 1982. TNA is in a good position to make some serious waves in Wrestling right now. The intrigue of Hulk Hogan now being out for revenge could make for some television programming. I still think that we are going to see the mother of all swerves from Jeff Jarrett, Hulk Hogan, and Vince Russo once this ppv actually happens…but either way TNA is on the launch pad and it’s time to blast off.

Not to leave out the other company in the mix, MLW was on the ECW path to success this year by landing a regional cable deal and slowly expanding into other markets. Even though I have The Sunshine Network, I have never seen an MLW program (Lousy Gold package on Directv only giving me MSG, YES, and Fox Sports NY), but from what I’ve read of the reports from shows they have a nice thing going for themselves. But it appears that MLW is stopping production for the rest of the year because of low-ticket sales for their upcoming event with Steve Corino taking on Terry Funk. You have to admire a company who is smart enough to do that. Instead of taking a bath on the production costs, cancel the show and refund tickets and start fresh in the New Year. MLW to me has the best chance to become the real third alternative in 2004. I just wish they could syndicate up to New York so I can watch the shows.

That’s the one funny thing about New York City. It’s the biggest market in the whole damn country, but we have next to nothing in terms of Wrestling. The WWE for the most part has a stranglehold on this area. The only other companies that I am aware of that regularly run shows around here are USA Pro and LIWF. I mean as big as WCW was they only came to New York City 3 times in the 1990’s. Of course the WWE having an exclusive contract with Madison Square Garden does limit other companies to running shows out of The Theater @ MSG should they want a big event here.

Well in any event, 2004 is going to be an interesting year if TNA manages to land a cable deal and MLW continues to do what they have been doing all year long. Well 2004 is going to be an interesting year with or with out the wrestling, that’s for damn sure.

Before I go, last night the Florida Marlins beat my beloved New York Yankee’s to become the 2003 World Series Champions. Let’s get a few things straight. First off it was a fluke that the Marlin’s even made it to the series. Secondly it was a fluke they even won the damn series to begin with. Had David Wells back not gone out on him the other night, the Yankee’s would be series champion’s right now. But alas MLB hates the Yankee’s and I only wonder what new rule they will come up to further thwart the Yankee’s dynasty. Ah well next season things will be back to normal as the Marlin’s take their rightful place back in the cellar of the NL East.

That’s it for me this week. If you have a comment for me, feel free to send me some feedback. I do read everything sent to me.

Until next time, take care and FUCK THE MARLINS

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