WWE Confidential recap (10.4.03)
Submitted by Peter Kostka on Sunday, October 5, 2003 at 1:24 AM EST



Um…..er…..ah crap, I can’t think of any witty openings for the recap this week. Oh well, let’s just get into it then.

This Week: Lita’s return, Bradshaw appears on Fox News to talk finance; Torrie goes Outside the Ropes, and the Rock’s Rundown Media Blitz.

Mean WHOO Gene is your host once again and he gets into some background on Lita’s injury (she broke her neck after botching a stunt on the set of the show Dark Angel) and plugs her new book Lita: a R.O.A.D Less Traveled, all of which brings us to our Cover Story for this week.

Cover Story: The Return of the Extreme Diva

All told, Lita was out of action for a good 15 months. Soon after her surgery, Lita was asked about writing a book. The photo shoot for the book cover was a little “weird” according to her, as she was rusty with the posing and such. The book really isn’t about her career in the WWE, but the road leading up to it. In an interview taped before her return, she says that she doesn’t really think about the night she will come back to wrestling. We now go to an interview taped after Unforgiven, where she says that she was a bit nervous as she waited to run in on RAW, but at the moment she burst through the curtain, a sense of calmness went through her body. She had to really work to get in shape since she gained about 20 pounds during her time off. She started getting into Yoga first, since that put as little strain on her neck than anything else before hitting the weight room. She admits that there was a period of deep depression during her layoff (we see clips of an earlier Confidential story on her, the “Lita without makeup” one). We head to Unforgiven and the spot where Molly pulled her off the apron and she busted her mouth open. That reminded her what being back in the ring was really like. She lost a tooth from that and had to spend the following Tuesday at the dentist to get a new one. She has no reservations in returning, she is confident that she can still pull off the moves she did before the injury without fear. She says that the fans have only begun to see the “new” Lita.

Well, they could have stretched this out a bit, but ok, it’s good to have her back. She actually looks a bit better now. .5/1

- Commercials –

This Portion of Confidential Is Brought to You By: Wrestlemania XIX for Nintendo Gamecube, Stacker 2 YJ Stinger, and Viewtiful Joe, also for Gamecube.

Two, Two, Two Bradshaw Pieces in One!

John Layfield (Bradshaw) had always had an interest in the stock market and even wrote a book (Have More Money Now : A Common Sense Approach to Financial Management), which earned him a spot on the Fox News Channel financial program Bulls and Bears. We see some clips where he advises to stay away from AOL stock and talks about the rising gas prices. Many of the regular guests compliment him because he is both informative and entertaining. Bradshaw gives more tips, saying that investing Citigroup and Pfizer is a good idea. He also appeared on Neil Cavuto’s daytime financial show Your World with Neil Cavuto……

We interrupt this Confidential recap for an update on the baseball playoffs....

SOX WIN!!! SOX WIN!!!! STILL ALIVE BABY!!!!! WOO!!!!

We now return you to your Confidential recap.

Bradshaw’s financial prowess was self-taught after he played pro football for three years and blew every cent he earned from it. The panelists compliment him some more and want him to come back, but Bradshaw wonders why there isn’t alcohol available before he goes on.

Gene mentions Bradshaw’s support for the armed forces and the visits he has made to military hospitals and to bases in Kuwait. He invited a few of the soldiers to RAW two weeks ago. Soldiers Andy McAffrey and Stephen Blanchette, among others, were able to hang out backstage, meet the guys, and send messages to their comrades still fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. To close things out, Gene reads a letter from Lt. Nancy Kuck, who commends WWE on their support for the military and mentions that WWE helped raise $80,000 at a fundraiser for soldiers’ families.

I don’t dislike Bradshaw, so this was a nice little segment. 1/2

- Commercials –

Wrestlemania Recall: Undertaker beats Flair at X-8

From the Vault: Sean O’Haire

Sean’s pick is a match he chose mostly because of the ending.

Buried Alive: Undertaker vs. Mankind (w/Paul Bearer) From In Your House on October 20, 1996

I believe this was the be all, end all blowoff for the Mankind-Taker feud. We get a few seconds of the opening, where they slug away at each other before Mankind ends up on the floor with Taker diving onto him from the top rope.

*CLIP* to Taker delivering the Tombstone in the ring and carrying Mankind to the gravesite, but Mankind gets the Claw applied to take control and gets the urn, but Taker slaps on the goozle and chokeslams Mankind into the grave, shoveling dirt onto him for the win. Taker won’t stop, however, and tosses aside any ref that tries to stop him. Vince and Jerry go into full hyperbole mode, saying “He’s dead” and things like that until the Executioner (Terry Gordy, apparently losing a bet or something) breaks a prop shovel on him and digs Mankind out, replacing him with Undertaker and tossing dirt into the grave like a dog burying a bone. Mankind helps out as we get the phoney “thunder and lightning” effects. *CLIP* again to the grave being completely covered and a “lightning bolt” hitting the tombstone, followed by a glove bursting through the dirt as Vince proclaims “He’s ALIVE!!”.

’94 Rumble this isn’t, but it’s not that far off. .5 pretty much for the sheer absurdity of it all. 1.5/3

- Commercials - (Oh dear lord, a commercial for Macho Man’s rap CD. And who is his target? Hogan, naturally. Hogan is a punk, just so we’re clear.)

Outside the Ropes: Torrie Wilson

Josh is back, for those keeping score.

1. Which is more entertaining, Wet T-shirt contests, or mud wrestling?

"Mud wrestling."

2. You are a regular reader of Playboy; who was the first Playmate you ever saw?

Pamela Anderson.

3. Can you name one article from your issue of Playboy?

“I remember something about China Syndrome since we used to have a Chyna wrestling.”

4. Do you realize that someone you see walking down the street has probably seen you naked?

“That’s great Josh, thanks. Move on.”

5. Where would you most like to win a shopping spree?

“Saks 5th Avenue, or Fred Siegel.”

6. What is the most you have ever spent in one day of shopping?

“$3000.”

7. Can you go to a local mall without being mobbed?

“Yes, since when I goes out I’m so ugly that people don’t think it’s me.”

8. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but what do they do to guys?

“Make them broke.”

9. Can you tell the difference between a potato and an Idaho potato?

“Yes, because Idaho potatoes are the best.”

10. What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

“Sing and dance.” Josh, of course, doesn’t produce one to test that answer.

I think Torrie and Jessica Simpson would get along great. They might have as much combined grey matter to fill a fly’s brain.

I’m sensing a pattern here. When this segment is hosted by Josh Matthews, it sucks because, well, he sucks. When it is hosted by someone else (Storm, Funaki), it’s funny as hell. Anyone else with me here? 1.5/4

- Commercials –

Rock’s Rundown Media Blitz

We take a look at all of Rock’s appearances hyping his movie The Rundown, which includes Conan, Kilborn, Today, Live with Regis & Kelly, the Wayne Brady Show, the Ellen Degeneres Show, and Letterman. We also peek in on the premiere, where Seann William Scott and Rosario Dawson have nothing but good things to say about him. We also hear the positive reviews from Ebert and Roeper and see some newspaper clippings celebrating the #1 opening this past weekend. Going into the break, we have a Rundown behind the scenes piece where Rock talks about the wrestling influences in the movie (the Rock Bottom in the club fight, Rock using a headscissors on a guy). Seann tried a sleeper, but it didn’t work. He says that with a year of training, he’ll be WWE material and become “the Planet’s Champion.”

I really got to get my ass to the theater. Hey, .5 just for his success. Congrats, Rock. 2/5

- Commercials –

WWE Rewind: RVD wins the IC title on RAW this past week.

Diva Photo Shoot: Jacqueline

Geez, she’s STILL AROUND? The theme for this shoot is “Karate” and basically consists of her in a red gi (karate uniform) kicking and punching at the camera. She’s a 3rd degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do. They only used the one outfit because “she looks sexy in it” (read: “Please be as covered up as possible, we don’t want the penises of America go flaccid while thumbing through this magazine.”) She wants to be in the Cruiser division. Oh joy, remember how well that turned out the FIRST time?

Maybe I should apply the “.5 Diva rule” since she kept as much on as possible? Nah. 2/6

Next week: Behind the scenes of RAW with Eric Bischoff. Sounds interesting.

That’s it for me this week. See you next time, same Confidential site, same Confidential channel.

In the meantime, send feedback and check out my archives








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