MLW TV Report 9-29-03
Submitted by Michael Langan II on Tuesday, September 30, 2003 at 6:46 PM EST



MLW Underground
Episode #26
Air Date: 9/29/03

Alrighty. Let's play a game. This week's MLW UNDERGROUND has a new look. A
new style. A "less ECW feel". It's been hyped on the Internet. Even DAVE
MELTZER made mention of it. So it has to be some amazing drastic change
that doesn't make me think "wow, this is like... ECW." Of course not! So
for every promo they continue to air (and beat me over the head with)
that's 5 months old, I shall continue to post my snide and sarcastic
comments about the bumpers and promos from prior reports. It should be fun!
Regardless, the "new look" involved a new logo/opening (no new song), a NEW
LOOK~! JOEY STYLES, and STYLES stealing from 1995 WORLD WRESTLING
FEDERATION TV hyping it as the "new fall season" look of MLW UNDERGROUND.
Man, was 1995 really *THAT* long ago? Alas... onto the report!

The Big News: TERRY FUNK made MLW WORLD CHAMPION, STEVE CORINO give up to
the spinning toe hold to win WARGAMES: THE MATCH BEYOND in the television
main event after branding CORINO and blowing fire into his face. FUNK heads
to MLW HYBRID HORROR SHOW 2003 on OCTOBER 24th, 2003 with that victory in
his favor!

Other BIG News: TERRY FUNK will now meet STEVE CORINO in a DOG COLLAR MATCH
for the MLW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP in JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA on OCTOBER 24th,
2003 at MLW HYBRID HORROR SHOW.

Absurdity of the Week: TERRY FUNK will now meet STEVE CORINO in a DOG
COLLAR MATCH for the MLW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP in JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA on
OCTOBER 24th, 2003 at MLW HYBRID HORROR SHOW. You know, after running ads
for the show *LAST WEEK* that said it'd be a BARBWIRE LADDER MATCH, this
has got to be pretty disappointing of a stipulation for some people. The
card bumpers for HYBRID HORROR SHOW have also removed all mentions of
LOW-KI, THE SKY COMBAT OPEN, or anyone other than mentioning "CORINO v.
FUNK" without much else in way of specifics.

TV Show Big News: RAVEN meets NOSAWA in the television main event next week
on MLW UNDERGROUND. The MLW GLOBAL JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP "J-CUP
USA" TOURNAMENT will likely continue next week, but was not mentioned on air.

Match Results: Sonjay Dutt p. Tony Mamaluke (J-CUP USA, Round I), Bill
Alfonso/Terry Funk(X)/The Sandman/Sabu/"Dr. Death" Steve Williams d. "The
Enforcer" C.W. Anderson/Steve Corino (O)/Simon Diamond/P.J. Walker/Barry
Windham (WarGames: The Match Beyond)

Overview:


The show opens with THE EXTREME HORSEMEN (MLW GLOBAL TAG TEAM CROWN
CHAMPION: "THE ENFORCER" C.W. ANDERSON, MLW WORLD CHAMPION: STEVE CORINO,
MLW GLOBAL TAG TEAM CROWN CHAMPION: SIMON DIAMOND, & MASKED MAN) coming out
to a techno song which judging from them screaming FIRE every couple of
seconds might be named FIRE. Not a bad song and any information on what the
song really is would be appreciated. New music, what a way to start off a
show! YEAH! Anyways, someone refuses to inform the HORSEMEN where the
camera is placed, so they face toward the crowd instead. The crowd chants
YOU SUCK. CORINO responds, asking why--- if they suck--- they hold all the
gold. CORINO runs down TERRY FUNK, THE SANDMAN, and STEVE WILLIAMS--- then
mentions JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER and how he'd never hold gold in MLW.
CORINO then informs the crowd that VINCE MCMAHON, JIM ROSS, & WWE pulled
JERRY LAWLER because they're scared of competition and that MLW is not just
some outlaw wrestling organization. CORINO puts over the fact that 9 months
ago, there were only 250 people in the building... now, under the reign of
THE EXTREME HORSEMEN there are 1500 people there. Not sure if there figure
is accurate, but there's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy more than 250... CORINO tells
VINCE MCMAHON and JIM ROSS that they are four men that will never sell out
to him and don't care about sports entertainment. CORINO then puts over
that they care about PRO WRESTLING. CORINO then puts over the main event
before letting DIAMOND take over. DIAMOND puts over that they needed not
only a fourth member, but a friend. He says they knew exactly who to call.
DIAMOND says they found a guy who's been through the same hell--- who's
been held down like they have--- and who's not just the coolest... not just
the best... JUSTIN CREDIBLE then unmasks and says they went and got the guy
who is the most ass kicking son of a bitch in MLW. CREDIBLE then says
you're looking at P.J. WALKER. ANDERSON gets on microphone and everyone
poses. Wow, the new EXTREME HORSEMEN SHIRTS with CORINO/ANDERSON/DIAMOND's
names on the back are already out of date with WALKER in the group.
ANDERSON says for everyone to wait--- that that's not all. CORINO then
introduces the REAL SURPRISE... the ORIGINAL EXTREME HORSEMAN... BARRY
WINDHAM. WINDHAM flicks off the crowd and the HORSEMEN all bow before
WINDHAM. CORINO puts over that it doesn't take a genius to realize that
tonight at WARGAMES it's FIVE on THREE.

THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE--- we get a new bumper! The
bumper informs us "PREPARE FOR... HYBRID WRESTLING!" ... "AMERICA STRONG
STYLE!" "TRADITIONAL PRO!" ... "HARDCORE WRESTLING"! ... "JAPANESE STRONG
STYLE"! ... "LUCHA LIBRE!" (how is a back drop driver bother Traditional
Pro and Lucha? Huh?!? Could they have picked the clips a little
better?!?)... "ROYAL ROAD"? WHAT THE HELL? "THIS IS HYBRID WRESTLING."
Let's close the opening with WWE'S JIMMY YANG pinning *ADJECTIVE SPOILER
DELETED* SONJAY DUTT before showing you the NEW MLW UNDERGROUND logo! YEAH!

MLW is ON TOUR! MLW HYBRID HORROW SHOW... JACKSONVILLE, FLORIDA. OCTOBER
24th. $10 GENERAL ADMISSION! RINGSIDE $*30* According to MLW.COM: TERRY
FUNK v. STEVE CORINO for the MLW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP in a DOG COLLAR
MATCH... THE SKY COMBAT OPEN... and NOSAWA & EL VAMPIRO v. C.M. PUNK & ???

WEW returns to TVN URBAN XTRA PPV with BATTLE OF THE HOT BODY ASSASSINS in
SEPTEMBER. This show features G.I. HO in her battle to win the WEW Belt.
Wow, I so don't care. Hot bodies? Where?

MATCH #1: MLW J-CUP USA GLOBAL JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT:
ROUND I; MATCH #4: SONJAY DUTT v. TONY MAMALUKE

In the graphic depicted on MLW's website
(HERE: http://www.mlw.com/view/v.php?a445 --- since you'd have a hell of a
time finding it otherwise)... this match is listed as MATCH #4 in the
tournament. STYLES hype WARGAMES. STYLES puts over MAMALUKE being mostly a
comedy act as the crowd noise drowns him out pretty badly. He's barely
audible at this point in the show. STYLES puts over DUTT winning "several
tournaments in the Northeast"... good research there STYLES... feeling out
to start. MAMALUKE grabs DUTT's right arm and pulls him in, then from the
arm lock gets a go behind. Crowd chants WHERE'S MY PIZZA at MAMALUKE. DUTT
breaks the waist lock go behind with his thumbs, then gets a go behind of
his own. MAMALUKE will have none of this and quickly gets out of it,
working it into an arm bar. DUTT fights back, reversing it and getting an
arm wringer on MAMALUKE. MAMALUKE somersaults to the canvas, rolling
through, then gets a bizarre wrist lock on DUTT that makes DUTT look like
he's posing. DUTT breaks free and locks a side headlock on MAMALUKE.
MAMALUKE shoves him off. DUTT, off the ropes, shoulder blocks MAMALUKE
down. DUTT then runs to the near side, and does a hand spring over MAMALUKE
as he turns to his stomach. MAMALUKE gets to his feet and DUTT charges,
going under a leap frog. MAMALUKE misses a chop as DUTT comes off the ropes
and gets near whipped into the ropes. MAMALUKE holds on and is able to back
body drop DUTT from the ring on a charge. DUTT, however, holds onto the top
ring rope and lands with his feet on the apron. MAMALUKE tries for a
shoulder block/headbutt through the middle and top ropes, but eats a knee
to the face. DUTT then does a slingshot body scissors THROUGH the middle
and top ring ropes that takes MAMALUKE to the floor. Crowd chants a bit and
we cut to the crowd. I sense clipping. DUTT tries a slingshot cross body,
but MAMALUKE moves, causing DUTT to land on his feet. MAMALUKE then goes in
for the kill--- clipping DUTT from behind the left knee. MAMALUKE then goes
to the top and does a somersault centon from the top turnbuckle to the
floor on DUTT. MAMALUKE rolls DUTT back into the ring. MAMALUKE does the
old tear drop suplex that is dropped back down to work on the knee.
MAMALUKE then follows it up with a nice dragon screw leg whip. MAMALUKE
continues the offensive with a half Boston Crab, putting DUTT's left leg
over the back of his own head for added leverage. Very kewl submission.
Wish someone would use it in the big leagues. DUTT gets to the ropes.
European uppercut by MAMALUKE. Tries to do the tear drop/knee breaker on
DUTT, but DUTT goes up and over and gets a sunset flip out of it for two.
MAMALUKE rolls out and dropkicks the leg of DUTT. MAMALUKE has not *ONCE*
deterred from hitting the *LEFT* leg with his offense, which should be
noted that he at least is consistent--- which does not happen with MANY,
sadly. MAMALUKE sets DUTT in the corner with his legs spread between the
ring ropes. MAMALUKE then kicks DUTT's left leg. If DUTT makes it past this
match and does NOT sell that leg like a mother something is seriously
wrong. MAMALUKE tries for a Tornado DDT out of the corner, but it's blocked
by DUTT. MAMALUKE in mid-move locks a chicken-wing/front face lock style
move with a body scissors on DUTT, while elevate. Why DUTT doesn't just
toss MAMALUKE into the canvas hard is beyond me. DUTT does the other smart
thing though and rams MAMALUKE into the corner hard. DUTT charges as a
follow-up, but eats a boot. MAMALUKE tries a Tornado DDT again, but DUTT
keeps spinning and sits MAMALUKE on back on the top turnbuckle. DUTT gets
an uppercut on MAMALUKE, then a FUTURE SHOCK~!, dropping to his knees. DUTT
sells the leg work before continuing. He moves MAMALUKE into position.
STYLES called FUTURE SHOCK a "neck breaker"... for those who don't know,
THE FUTURE SHOCK is one "THE FUTURE" CHRIS SABIN's finishes. It can best be
described as a double leg over the shoulder Fisherman's Buster. Basically
the same as a Fisherman's Buster, but done in a manner that when you drop,
the neck gets the impact on the shoulders. Also, during the set up the
person performing the move tries to maintain control of both legs...
anyways--- DUTT goes to the top... and then... THE HINDU PRESS (corkscrew
moonsault splash from the top turnbuckle) gets the pinfall in 4:00. Too
freakin' short, but a good bout. Nice of DUTT to sell the leg work post
match and near the finish, but half of his offense at the end should have
been hindered by his hurt wheel. Just saying.

MATCH #1: MLW J-Cup USA Global Junior Heavyweight Championship Tournament:
Round I; Match #4: Sonjay Dutt d. Tony Mamaluke by Pinfall (4:00) after
"The Hindu Press" corkscrew moonsault splash from the top turnbuckle.

MLW RELOAD PROMO. [NOTE: THE SOUND RANDOMLY TURNS UP.] SATOSHI KOJIMA v.
JERRY LYNN... SABU v. TAIYO KEA... EL VAMPIRO v. STEVE CORINO v. THE
SANDMAN--- the best match on the entire show is a six man with QUIET
STORM/LOS MAXIMOS v. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS/FAR EAST CONNECTION (HIDAKA/TOGO),
yet it's not in the promo bit. BAH! Regardless, if you order now you might
receive the home video in time for CHRISTMAS! ... 2005.

MLW WRESTLEFEST 2003. DECEMBER 29th, 2003 Bumper. Nothing else mentioned.

THE NEW LOOK JOEY STYLES (no glasses and a red polo shirt with one of those
"hip" designs on them) hypes that the WARGAMES is tonight. STYLES says the
match is nine months in the making (dating back to RHODES v. CORINO v.
FUNK, which aired on EPISODE #3 on 4/21/03). STYLES notes the MLW debuts of
BARRY WINDHAM and the former JUSTIN CREDIBLE, P.J. WALKER. STYLES doesn't
make mention of their now being two P.J.s in the company and how one of
them will have to change their name to GARRISON or GREGORY--- or something
that begins with a G as that seems to be the punishment (unless you're
friends with TRIPLE H--- then you can be WILLIAM)... STYLES hypes TERRY
FUNK's last shot at the MLW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP at MLW HYBRID HORROR SHOW
2003. STYLES puts over the possibility of an injury to FUNK or CORINO and
how important it would be to that match. NEXT WEEK, STYLES says it'll be
"STRAIGHT EDGE" NOSAWA v. RAVEN. STYLES continues to mock NOSAWA's pseudo
straight edge-ness. STYLES then proceeds to put over SONJAY DUTT a bit
before moving into the rules for WARGAMES. For those who don't know the
rules, it appears MLW has not altered them any since their inception. Two
men start the match off. They will battle for five minutes. Then after
those five minutes have finished, the team that wins a coin toss earlier in
the night gets to send out their next man. Participants from each team will
then enter one at a time in two minute intervals, with the team winning the
coin toss maintaining the advantage until all men have entered the match.
That is when the MATCH BEYOND begins. The match will continue until one man
from a team either Submits or Says "I Give Up"... STYLES then throws it to
the back for the coin toss.

STEVE CORINO is walking. He walks up to COURT BAUER, JOHN FINNIGAN, & TERRY
FUNK standing around. FINNIGAN has a coin. This toss will determine which
team has the advantage after five minutes. FINNIGAN tells FUNK to call it
and CORINO wonders why--- since he's the CHAMPION. FINNIGAN gives CORINO a
chance to call it, but he sarcastically lets things continue as they were
saying that "(he)'ll respect the legend... go 'head." FUNK calls heads, but
it's tails. HORSEMEN get the advantage. COURT BAUER sure stands there well.

MLW.COM PROMO. NEW LOOK MLW... OLD LOOK PROMOS. Okay STYLES, I know visit
some other web site other than MLW.com. This promo is annoying. I figure if
I keep posting the same sentences regarding the promos every week they
might change them... HA!

MLW MERCHANDISE PROMO. Buy shirts for people who are injured! They need the
money! On a political front, FUEGO GUERRERO sort of had it coming by
refusing to let stuff heal--- but wasn't TAIYO KEA's injury just a freak
thing? But I digress--- they need your money. Even the new EXTREME HORSEMEN
shirts are now out of date! For shame!

SOMEOTHERWEBSITE.COM PROMO. At someotherwrestlingsite.com they've got
sources inside the WWE locker room, inside the WWE television studios, and
inside the WWE offices! It's the web site VINCE McMAHON doesn't want you to
know about! It's someotherwrestlingsite.com ... oh yeah.

MATCH #2: THE FUNKIN' ARMY (TERRY FUNK, THE SANDMAN, "DR. DEATH" STEVE
WILLIAMS, & ???) v. THE EXTREME HORSEMEN (MLW GLOBAL TAG TEAM CROWN
CHAMPION: "THE ENFORCER" C.W. ANDERSON, MLW WORLD CHAMPION: STEVE CORINO,
MLW GLOBAL TAG TEAM CROWN CHAMPION: SIMON DIAMOND, P.J. WALKER, & BARRY
WINDHAM) in WARGAMES: THE MATCH BEYOND

C.W. ANDERSON is out for the HORSEMEN to start. STYLES doesn't take very
long in noting that in the old NWA (WCW) WARGAMES matches, it was "THE
ENFORCER" ARN ANDERSON that always started things out. THE SANDMAN is the
first out for the FUNKIN' ARMY. STYLES puts over the advantage of the coin
toss win for the HORSEMEN as well as the alleged 5-on-3 advantage. DAVE
MELTZER was correct in noting that SANDMAN's entrance is death on
television. I remember when ECW start on TNN they used to always run
SANDMAN's entrances and they'd have no clue how to cope with TV time
because of it. ANDERSON jumps SANDMAN to start. He's already gushing. The
bell finally rings to start he five minute first portion of the match. The
cage is actually pretty crudely constructed, as it's more like two "chain
link" cages with out tops put next to two ring. There is actually room to
*GET OUT* of the rings where the posts meet. Well, you'd have to work at
it, but you could still get through if you wanted. A whole lot of nothing
early on. Lots of brawling. SANDMAN chasing ANDERSON around with a cane.
ANDERSON has the advantage, but SANDMAN gets a White Russian Leg sweep out
of desperation. They trade fists on their knees. ANDERSON tries to whip
SANDMAN into the cage, but SANDMAN gets his hands up. SANDMAN then whips
ANDERSON into the cage. Commercial time.

MLW is ON TOUR for HYBRID HORROR SHOW... TERRY FUNK v. STEVE CORINO in a
DOG COLLAR MATCH (instead of a BARB WIRE LADDER MATCH, I guess they want to
air it on TV? Or something)... LOW-KI... all the stars of MAJOR LEAGUE
WRESTLING... MLW.Com has the Stipulation for the title match still being
"TBA"... they also list NOSAWA/EL VAMPIRO v. C.M. PUNK/??? and "SKY COMBAT
OPEN"... None of this is mentioned in the promo--- again.

WEW--- WOMEN'S EXTREME WRESTLING is on PAY-PER-VIEW, but you might as well
give your money to a homeless man. It'll be worth just as much in his urine
stream as it would be watching this. Still looking for those hot bodies,
but none are to be found in the promo.

MLW RELOAD is on HOME VIDEO! Ask someone who's ordered it if they've
received it yet! Odds are they haven't!

We're back and they basically stopped time during the promos and the :30 of
non-house commercials. ANDERSON is busted open. SANDMAN tosses ANDERSON
into the cage again. STYLES mentions that there's no telling when SANDMAN
was busted open, but it was pretty blatant when he did it in front of the
camera during his entrance. SANDMAN does a suplex and STYLES is surprised.
SANDMAN then locks on a CRIPPLER CROSSFACE for a bit, as STYLES puts over
that it really doesn't matter as the match can't end until everyone is in
the match.

STEVE CORINO enters next at 5:32 TV Time. CORINO is armed with BARBWIRE
around his right hand. CORINO goes after SANDMAN with a punch, then uses it
on SANDMAN's forehead. CORINO and ANDERSON double team SANDMAN for a while.
Lots of walking around. ANDERSON gets SANDMAN's Singapore Cane. ANDERSON
chokes SANDMAN over the top ring rope from ring #2 as SANDMAN is in ring
#1. CORINO then canes SANDMAN over the back with the cane. ANDERSON &
CORINO then jam the cane into SANDMAN's throat. STYLES announces that FUNK
wants a DOG COLLAR MATCH for his last MLW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TITLE SHOT at
THE HYBRID HORROR SHOW. A chair comes flying into the ring over the top
signifying only one man...

TERRY FUNK enters for THE FUNKIN' ARMY at 8:14 TV Time to even things up.
FUNK is moving particularly slow this week. He tosses the chair about the
ring. What, the heels haven't figured out that it might be a good plan to
jump the guy as he comes in? FUNK jams CORINO's face into the cage
repeatedly. FUNK then hits a nice reverse neck breaker. SOMEHOW
FUNK/SANDMAN dominate. ANDERSON is choked with SANDMAN's shirt. FUNK nails
ANDERSON with a cane shot. 45 seconds remaining until the next person. Man,
they must be clipping like a madman. COMMERCIAL TIME~!

MLW.COM PROMO. Again we catch STYLES at that website. It has GOT to be a
front for something.

We're back and now FUNK has CORINO over both rings' ropes as SANDMAN canes
the back of CORINO. FUNK then drags CORINO over the ropes and piledrives
him. ANDERSON is attacked by SANDMAN and they're paired off in two separate
rings. ANDERSON hits a bulldog. Lots of punching and gouging. Was WARGAMES
always this enthralling?

SIMON DIAMOND enters third for his team, giving THE EXTREME HORSEMEN at
3-on-2 advantage in 10:57 TV Time. DIAMOND works over everyone with punches
as STYLES puts over DIAMOND's education and sports background. STYLES notes
that his is not DIAMOND's forte. DIAMOND nails FUNK over the head with a
broken chair. ANDERSON grates SANDMAN's face into the cage. CORINO jams the
cane into FUNK's throat as ANDERSON works in kicks. SANDMAN is pretty much
dead in the water at this point. Kicks. Lots of kicks. CORINO & DIAMOND
grate FUNK's face into the cage. The countdown for the next man begins and
again they set it up so they're split up in the rings.

"DR. DEATH" STEVE WILLIAMS enters for THE FUNKIN' ARMY making it 3-on-3 in
13:19 TV Time. ANDERSON charging elbows WILLIAMS as he's on the apron
before they can even close the door. THANK YOU. WILLIAMS is also slower
this week than last time I saw him. DIAMOND and ANDERSON play ping pong
balls for WILLIAMS. Mostly punches. SANDMAN hits a Rolling Rock Centon Bomb
on ANDERSON from the top. CORINO & FUNK climb the corner turnbuckle and
brawl on the top ring rope. FUNK gets crotched pretty quickly. WILLIAMS
pulls CORINO down and jabs away. DIAMOND joins the fun and WILLIAMS jabs
away at everyone. The countdown begins again as we have CORINO/DIAMOND and
FUNK/WILLIAMS in the far ring and ANDERSON/SANDMAN in the near ring.

P.J. WALKER enters for THE EXTREME HORSEMEN with a ladder in tow in 15:29
TV Time. HORSEMEN have a 4-on-3 advantage. WALKER's ladder is an old
fashioned WOODEN ladder. WALKER is wearing his X-FACTOR JUSTIN CREDIBLE
tights. CREDIBLE sets up the ladder in the corner for a whip spot, which of
course means SANDMAN whips WALKER into it. FUNK gets ahold of the ladder
and takes out DIAMOND with it. FUNK then tosses the ladder at ANDERSON.
WALKER catches FUNK coming into the other ring and they brawl in a pretty
exciting segment. WALKER loses, of course. ANDERSON/DIAMOND work over WILLIAMS.

SABU with BILL ALFONSO enters for THE FUNKIN' ARMY to even things at 4
apiece in 17:57 TV Time. STYLES tried to put over this entrance as being
the entrance of BARRY WINDHAM to really put the HORSEMEN over the top.
Sadly, STYLES didn't seem very excited at the idea that the faces were
actually going to have a fourth partner. Despite the great turn out, it
appears that the crowd is dead for this match. Odd trivia bit... other than
STEVE WILLIAMS, SABU is the only guy in this match without different theme
music. SABU (complete with heavily wrapped left arm) cleans house. CORINO
gets tossed into the cage. WALKER gets tossed into the cage. A table is
partially set up. SABU nails WALKER and CORINO again. Table finally placed
up. SANDMAN gets a dropkick while holding the ladder as we get a shot of
BILL ALFONSO from the floor. SABU sets WALKER on the table. WALKER catches
SABU going up top, however. WILLIAMS gorilla presses CORINO and tosses him
from the far ring to the near ring... WALKER then chokes SABU in the
corner. Commercial time.

WEW PROMO. Ugh. Yes, again.

MLW MERCHANDISE PROMO. Oh for the love of...

We're back again. Everyone is spread out. WALKER is choking SABU in a
corner. FUNK and ANDERSON are on the canvas brawling in the far ring as
DIAMOND nails SANDMAN in the sole of the foot with a chair.

BARRY WINDHAM power walks to the ring in 21:13 TV Time. Reports that he
looks more like BLACKJACK MULLIGAN, JR. would be 120% correct. Time to
draft him to WWE and paint his hair black again. THE NEW BLACKJACKS were
money, I tell you... WINDHAM nails SANDMAN with a right, he goes down.
WINDHAM moves around for a bit then nails SANDMAN again... FUNK gets a
rabbit punch, then a shot to the face... Piledriver by WINDHAM on FUNK.
Lots of brawling. At this point, BILL ALFONSO pouts around the ring and
proclaims this bullshit that the match is 5 on 4. He says that he's going
to get his ass kicked tonight, but he's going to try. ALFONSO removes his
shirt, blinding the first four rows and hits the ring...

BILL ALFONSO enters in 21:58 TV Time to make it FIVE on FIVE. The match
beyond begins. SABU places WALKER on the table. WILLIAMS is punching
CORINO. Everyone else is brawling in the far ring. ANDERSON & DIAMOND go
after ALFONSO. CORINO knocks down WILLIAMS with something and SANDMAN
rushes to check on him. SABU finally gets WALKER on the table long enough
to hit a leg drop from the top through it. The table shattered pretty
wonderfully as well. Everyone is just kind of there. SANDMAN chokes WINDHAM
with the cane across the throat from behind. Everyone is moving again.
WILLIAMS gets a spine buster, then a Boston Crab on WALKER. CORINO has SABU
in a half Boston Crab and has had it on for a bit. ANDERSON breaks up "The
Northern Oklahoma Crab" by WILLIAMS on WALKER. DIAMOND boots ALFONSO in the
corner. This is in the far ring in the turnbuckles on the side near the
near ring. WINDMAN now has control on THE SANDMAN on the canvas in the far
ring as well. TERRY FUNK slithers through the bottom ring ropes with his
BRANDING IRON on fire. FUNK brands CORINO in the back, then does one of the
kewlest looking flame throws ever--- basically breathing fire on the face
of CORINO. CORINO goes down in a heap. FUNK touches him with the iron once
more, then puts it out. FUNK then spinning toe holds CORINO in 23:41 TV
Time to get the victory. DIAMOND rushes over to tell the time keeper to
ring the bell--- alrighty. SABU comes over for a few boots as CORINO rolls
around in pain. SABU then decks DIAMOND for fun. CORINO rolls around the
ring some more. WINDHAM tosses ALFONSO across the ring to regroup with his
team as the five heels are all apparently destroyed. WALKER covers up
CORINO. Do you know how many times in this report I've had to go back and
re-type WALKER over an originally typed "CREDIBLE." The show ends as THE
FUNKIN' ARMY poses as they get out the cage. Again, no good bye from
STYLES. My feelings are hurt.

MATCH #2: The Funkin' Army (Bill Alfonso, Terry Funk, Sabu, The Sandman, &
"Dr. Death" Steve Williams) d. The Extreme Horsemen (MLW Global Tag Team
Crown Champion: "The Enforcer" C.W. Anderson, MLW World Champion: Steve
Corino, MLW Global Tag Team Crown Champion: Simon Diamond, P.J. Walker, &
Barry Windham) by Submission (23:41 TV Time) with a spinning toe hold by
Terry Funk on Steve Corino after Funk had branded Corino and blew fire into
his face in WarGames: The Match Beyond. MLW Global Tag Team Crown Champion:
"The Enforcer" C.W. Anderson and The Sandman enter in 0:00. MLW World
Champion: Steve Corino entered in 5:32 TV Time. Terry Funk entered in 8:14
TV Time. MLW Global Tag Team Crown Champion: Simon Diamond entered in 10:57
TV Time. "Dr. Death" Steve Williams entered in 13:19 TV Time. P.J. Walker
entered in 15:29 TV Time. Sabu entered in 17:57 TV Time. Barry Windham
entered in 21:13 TV Time. Bill Alfonso entered in 21:58 TV Time.

Grade: B. Another solid outing as a whole by MAJOR LEAGUE WRESTLING. There
are a few nit-picky "smark" things that have me irked, but other than that
I tend to really enjoy watching their programming. Two matches this week,
lasting a total of 25:58 TV Time, which is down from last week's 28:14.
Other than the in ring to start the show and the coin toss, there were none
of the usual "ECW STYLE" promos. If that's what they meant in terms of
being less ECW-ike, I think it's a move in the wrong direction. The promos
that were on the show did everything they needed to and built to the
importance of the main event. I do, however, feel sorry for anyone who has
never seen a WARGAMES and happened to catch the main event, as it was
pretty poor in my opinion. I believe only 1995's HOGAN/STING/LUGER/SAVAGE
v. THE DUNGEON OF DOOM was worse. I really think I'll spend the rest of the
week watching old WARGAMES tapes to see if they were really this boring and
inspired. On the bright side, the story was told well, it was effective,
and I'll be damned if the fire wasn't used in a pretty amazing way. Another
nit-pick: STYLES has lost the glasses and seems to have tossed his unique
enthusiasm out the window as well.

Best Match: Despite being 4:00, the honors go to DUTT v. MAMALUKE. I can't
in good conscious give WARGAMES the best match honors, as I can't seem to
find the correct words to describe how uninspired it felt. MAMALUKE v. DUTT
had me watching their match several times before posting the report and had
a match that got me excited enough and into it that I felt the need to
transcribe most everything in it.

Worst Match: WARGAMES is always hit or miss with me. There are good, brutal
ones. There are clusters that you remember. Then there was this. Trite.
That's the only word I can think of for it. It did what it needed to, but
feel jipped out of my 30 minutes.

Despite my dislike for the wrestling CONTENT of the Main Event, MLW
UNDERGROUND continues to be a good show. Solid effort by MAJOR LEAGUE
WRESTLING. Just no more WARGAMES, please?
Questions/Comments/Concerns/Bitching can be address to
mrnewz@mindspring.com or on AIM at MrNEWZ. See you FRIDAY for IWA TOTAL
IMPACT. Tomorrow I should also have an UPDATE on what was NOT AIRED on
SUNSHINE NETWORK this week.








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