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Submitted by Wevv Mang on Sunday, August 31, 2003 at 2:06 AM EST
Ridin’ With The Bossman - Slammin’ Your Summer Greetings! Welcome to another edition of Ridin’ With The Bossman! We have plenty to talk about. SummerSlam, Raw, Smackdown, news and rumors, and all kinds of wrestling goodness. Let’s get right to it, shall we? WWE TV - Paying For The TV Series SummerSlam - Your Money At Work Recap info by recapper extraordinaire, Dustin Tigue I actually attended the PPV in Phoenix. Not much to really add that hasn’t already been said. It was 100 degrees, and the building was under construction, leaving only a few ways into the building. Coach and Al Snow were set up under the main entryway, making people file through a narrow pass to get to the doors. Al said it was hot. Welcome to Phoenix Al, it’s cooler than it was three weeks ago. Bastard. Inside, the sound was muffled a but from the huge steel structure hanging from the ceiling. People are sign crazy. They hold them up during video packages and replays. The main difference I noticed between a TV taping and a PPV was the pace of the show. Little talking, lots of wrestling. Promos that aired were mainly kept to the broadcast and not given to the audience. A few were, but without the commentary to hype upcoming matches, it was pretty quiet. Coach turned heel. I’d have to say this was the highlight of the night. I’ve been dying for Coach to turn heel since the first “You ruining it!” was reportedly yelled through Coach’s headphones. I think it would have been more effective if Bischoff had won his match with Coach’s help, and then have the beat down. Two really solid matches in the US title melee, and Brock vs Angle. A one legged F-5. That’s impressive. Eddie retained his title, and I think that’s the way to go. The only reason fans know that belts exists is because of Eddie. Think about the IC title. It’s a joke. Eddie is keeping the title alive by sheer charisma. If Benoit, Rhyno, or Tajiri got it, it would vanish from your consciousness, until you read or heard he had it. Linda should have jumped on top of Bischoff while he tried to weasel out of it by saying he was too hurt to perform. WWE loves soap opera angles. That one would at least have been mildly entertaining. Nothing was said, so it could still be salvaged for Monday. Undertaker resists Sable. He knows she ‘s been with Vince and Fluffy. Man, the Elimination chamber match sucked. I chanted like nuts for Goldberg. WHy? It’s not because I like the guy. It’s because if the title was going to change hands, Goldberg was the one to make it happen. Finally. Also, it IS fun to chant Goldberg. That’s about the best thing going for him. He’s got a solid chant. Love him or hate him, it’s hard to resist the chant. GOOOLD-BERRRRG! GOOOLD-BERRRRG! I left right after the pin. It was all I really needed to see, so I missed the ego party that was Vince’s Birthday. I really didn’t need to see the entire locker room kiss Vince’s ass. I do regret missing the Show-A-Rooni. But not enough to see all the guys who won that night, whether they deserved it or not, kiss the ass of the man that let them win. RAW - PPV Fallout RAW Recap Info courtesy of Dustin Tigue, Recappy McCapper After a big PPV show, time to ride that wave into building interest for the next PPV by setting up new angles, and polishing off loose threads, right? Wellll, this IS WWE Al Wilson could pop up as Vince’s new love interest. So what if he’s dead? HE’S VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT! Goldberg kicked off the show by talking about how H was NEXT! H appears and says that he’ll wrestling Goldberg again only if he agrees that if he loses, he’ll go away. Forever. Sweet Stan Lane! Goldberg agrees. So, we have a month left of Goldberg. -Think they won’t job Goldberg to H again? These are the same people who forked out half a million for the Chamber, hired Nash to a $600+ contract, hired and fired Piper, paid over $90 million to redecorate the World, and signed Goldberg for millions and jobbed him in his big payoff. Money isn’t the problem here. WWE has also called Goldberg a failure many times. Don’t forget that. Trish Stratus vs Gail Kim - Nice match. Some of the better wrestling on the show actually. Some nice new spots, good action, and Trish gets the pin. Molly comes down and clocks Trish on her way. Why? Because she, like all the other Divas, except Trish, is CRAZY! And a stalker. What a dynamic character! Fans love stalkers! MY GOD!- Is that Rodney Mack? He seems different...Oh My, he seems to have developed an actual personality! WOW! You go Rodney! You’ll look even better standing next to Mark Henry. Mark Henry and Rodney Mack vs Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak - Sexual Chocolate shows all his power moves without actually moving. Well, he does fall on the guy at the end for the pin. Workrate Reducing Sports Entertainment - All our bit characters in one skit. In an attempt to relive the glory days under actual talent, an attempt was made to shift from one skit into another, by having characters serve as transitions. First, Goldust and Lance Storm work with a midget. Rosey appears, and asks about a man with a gun. Rosey moves onto to some one else and then whooshes off. Hurricane pops up to complete the setup. Off he goes. Nothing to really see here. A midget humping Lance Storm’s leg. It’s not as funny as it sounds. Trust me. More Creepy than funny. Ah, a good chance to use this:
So true, so true... Well, we get a replay of what happened during the break. Why during the break? I really don’t know. See, WWE then spent time telling us what happened. It might have helped to have it air live. of course, they could have dropped the segment if Vince wanted that time. Ah, now I see. So anyway, Rosey attacked the T-Shirt guy, and Hurricane made a fuss over it. That’s all. La Resistance vs The Dudleys - Six Man - Rob Conway is an American who thinks Americans are bad. Like that’s been working so well for La Resistance these past few months. Spike came out and the battle got underway. Cheap shot win goes to the Frogs. Highlight Reel - Linda McMahon - Jericho has on Linda, and is now the only person to ever make fun of all four McMahons who is not a McMahon them self. Linda kills all hope for my Bischoff angle, making Bischoff, you guessed it, into a crazy stalker. Vince arrives and takes over Jericho's segment. Vince yaps, Linda says Vince is nuts, and Shane comes out. Shane says Vince is a monster. Jericho calls hi an asshole. A match is made. Randy Orton vs MavenThe big news about this match is that Shaun Michaels is with maven. Why? No mention is made. Some decent wrestling ensues. Flair tries to cheat, but HBK stops him. Orton then mocks HBK, and gets distracted, allowing maven to get the pin. Eric Bischoff is in the ring. - He’s there to award Coach with an Employee of the Month plaque. Coach accepts it and then tries to cut on JR and King, but the skit is too long, and it quickly starts to lose steam. Austin then appears to make sure the segment is dead. Coach wants an apology. I’m really beginning to hate Stone Cold. Christian then appears to make a very valid point. Why wasn’t the IC champ on the PPV? Austin has no explanation. Well, verbally. He makes his point by making a match of Jerry “The King” Lawler, a non wrestler, vs your IC champ. King vs Christian - Jerry almost wins it, and it’s only by the grace of Coach that he retains the belt. That’s how much value the WWE puts on the strap. Now the feud of an announcer vs a wrestler for a title is underway. Let’s do this justice. Hey King, run over any cops lately? How about have sex with underage girls? He’s a criminal! He’s a criminal! Some where, Booker T is smiling with me. McMahon Event - Shane vs Jericho - Sloppy match. Kane’s pyro and music went off once to distract Shane and let Jericho get in control again. The tide turned again, and this time Kane did appear fully announced. He grabbed Shane and choke slammed him. He then left through the crowd, and Shane followed after Y2J got the pin. Kane and Shane brawled in back, and then it was special effects time. Kane filled a dumpster with gas, but Shane knocked him in, and then threw off snappy line. Smackdown - PPV Pickup AAHH! After Monday night’s hijinks, it’s nice to see an actual wrestling show. That doesn’t cost money. Eddie kicks things off in style - Amusing story and a decent build up to a feud with John Cena. Very good interplay between the two. I look forward to this feud. Raw should take notes. This is how you build up a feud for the Secondary belt. But then Cole jumps up from the booth and whacks Eddie with a chair and announces he’s the new champ. Just kidding. But after Monday, I fully expected it. Not Tazz, no, he’s an actual wrestler. Cole, since he’s not. Or maybe the ring announcer guy. Rey vs Nunzio - Hey! Rey’s not supposed to actually defend that belt is he? Is that in Vince’s notes for the show? Isn’t Steph supposed to get it? Heh, maybe she can’t meet the weight requirements. Her boobs alone must weigh more than Rey. OK, I’ll spaz down now. Great match. Nunzio can go. He did wrestle Super Crazy back in ECW, and those two torn the house down. No different here, except, Rey’s not trying to impale himself on a table leg. Rey hits a quick reversal and gets the pin. Chris Benoit vs Fluffy - I had a flashback to Thursday/Wednesday Night Thunder. Benoit facing some big guy and getting the snot pounded out of him. One big difference was that Albert could actually wrestle. Sable, looking not too good is by ringside. Benoit gets the submission under controversial circumstances. Brock, one pissed off dude - Almost became a psycho, but kept it level enough to prevent that. Taker comes out and reminds Brock that he owes him a job. Veteran thing, pay your dues, yadda, yadda. Show then comes out and says he’s beat up both Angle, Taker, and Lesnar more than anybody. Good point. Angle then comes out and starts to talk. Nice jab at Show. Show plays it up subtly. Then Steph appears to remind everyone that the show is about her. She stay long (which is good) and makes a number one contender’s match. Cool. Eddie vs John Cena - US Title - Some one stole the tires from Eddies car, and Cena only seconds earlier, said it wasn’t him, but then came out with the tire. A little spacing between the skit and the entrance would have been better. Match starts off strong, and Cena starts out on the defensive. Tide turns and Cena takes over. Wow. What a difference working with some one who wants to actually have a good match, and not just make themselves look good can be. Cena goes over the top however, and gets DQ’d. Match ends with Eddie the winner but laid out, bleeding. Nice intensity to this match. Brock Lesnar vs Big Show vs Undertaker - Back and forth right off the bat. Taker and Punch/Kick offense versus Show and his power vs Lesnar and his strength and quickness. Taker leaves the ring early. Show and Lesnar go at it for a while. Angle is at the announce booth, and puts over Show and Lesnar, and sort of Taker. Taker sneaks back and clears things out with more Punch/Punch, and then Kick. Then some Running and more Punching. Lesnar gets back in control. Slams Show, Show chokeslams, and it’s still anyone’s match. They all pile into the corner, and Taker comes up underneath Brock and gives him the Last Ride and gets the pin. Your Number One Contender, Taker, the Man of a Million Punches. To be honest, he did try out some new submission moves, mostly on Show, and that makes a difference. Show really is too huge to tap out to an armbar, but Show did sell it well. It could work, but after a flurry of punches, it’s gonna take some time, and more usage. Two after-PPV shows, and they couldn’t be more different. One was good, and they other sucked. Vince must have focused only on Raw this week, and let the writers put together the rest of Show. Only checking to make sure Fluffy had a match. The sad thing is, that Smackdown had some heavy competition Thurs night and if the ratings drop, then Vince can make a case for getting more TV time, since he wasn’t on the show and the ratings went down. Sad but true. Ratings used to mean something. They really don’t anymore. At least not to creative. There’s way too much spin involved. Now if the ratings go up, the sycophants say it was their idea, and trying to prove them wrong could lead to a disagreement with Vince and Banishment to Paul Heyman land. Ratings go down and the leeches will say it was because it was some one who kept the true genius idea of their ideas from going all the way, or that the crappy material they handed to the guys who actually entertain people didn’t get over as much as they had planned, and it’s the guys fault for not trying harder. Quick check, ratings were way down, due to a lot of pre-empting in most markets, and undoubtedly, the VMA awards, so guess what? Next week, triple the Vince! Wevv’s House (Next To The Cemetery) Wevv’s Office Wevv walks into his office, drinking a coke. He stops, and looks around. Something is different. There’s his executive leather chair, computer, desk, monitor, printer, phone, fax machine, copier, filing cabinet....wait a minute. Fax machine? Copier? Executive leather chair? FIling cabinet? He looks around again, and then calls out: Wevv: Bossman! Can you come here a second please? Bossman: Sure Wevv. What’s up? Wevv: Bossman, where did this stuff come from? Bossman: Oh, you mean the copier. I had it brought over as a surprise. Since you’re on the main page now, you need to become more official. I thought you might like it. Wevv: Um, thanks. Uh, it’s not just the copier, but the fax machine, chair, filing cabinet, all this stuff. It must have cost quite a bit. Bossman: Don’t worry about it Wevv. Actually, the fax machine is a gift from New Jack. I think he’s hoping you call him up for a visit. Wevv: Right, New Jack sent me a fax machine. Sure. *pause* Bossman, where- Bossman: Honestly Wevv, I bought it legit. I can get receipts if you like. Wevv: I’m sure you could. Listen, thank you very much, but my office is a little cramped with all this stuff, and I really think you should take it back. Bossman: You sure? Wevv: Yes Bossman, I’m sure. Thank you though. Bossman: OK, Wevv, I’ll take it back. Wevv walks away. Bossman makes sure the cost is clear , and then sneaks over to the filing cabinet. He opens it to reveal a midget in ski mask. Bossman: I told you the copier was too much! What were you thinking! Midget: Sorry Boss. You want me to take it back? Bossman: Hell no! Take it over to the warehouse! I can get a good price for that! When you work with Bossman long enough, you develop a sixth sense about things. Like a Bossman bearing gifts. Over-Analyzing Wrestling Today’s Topic: Cast of Thousands, Well, A Lot Coming up with four hours of original television programming each week is not an easy thing to do. Week after week the show goes on, with no repeats and no off season,to take out to recharge a person’s creative batteries. The show must go on, and it’s hungry. Putting out a steady course of the same things, over and over again makes things stale. There is a tier of talent in WWE and it takes time to move talent between them. A delicate balance must take place to make sure the talent in it’s new role fits the bill. But what do you do when a certain level of talent is injured and can’t perform? Something has to be done to fill that void. Promos can only go so far. The overall level of the show has to be continued, and certain forms must be met. That my friends, is where WWE runs into some of it’s biggest problems. Backup plans are not something WWE does well. A one shot angle is one thing, but the next week is next week, and planning for that, well, I’m sure Vince will come up with something. One tactic is to use the third stringers. I’m not talking jobbers, but well know TV personalities to the fans and try to make them into something interesting. Not actual wrestlers, but the other folks who have been introduced to us over the years, or a temporary character that gets a guest shot so to speak. Guys like Coach, JR, Al Wilson, Terri, Dawn, Torrie, Bischoff, and so forth. You know, the folks who aren’t actually wrestlers. But now, there’s more and more of a new breed of character. The pseudo wrestlers. Some have been around for awhile, and some are new. These are he McMahon’s, King, and Austin. These second stringers have been getting a lot of TV tie recently. But the same problems keep propping up. What do you do with them? Let’s take a look: First, the main thing to keep in mind is that these folks aren’t wrestlers. trying to turn them into wrestlers is not a good idea. From Danny Davis, Wrestling Ref to Eric Bischoff, history has a pretty good track record. Of failures. Folks like to see the heel get his ass kicked, but an actual match is usually death to the audience. Same thing with a face getting some form of revenge. The audience has a solid grasp of who is a wrestler and who isn’t and the bit players definitely do not fall into the category of wrestler. The image has been firmly entrenched that they have other duties, and lacing up some wrestling boots is not one of them. Well, maybe for Ric lacing up H’s boots. But that’s what his on-screen job is, H’s human pet. Sorry, manservant. I think I can say that no one has made a decision to fork out money to see Earl Hebner wrestle. The only reason I would is if it was against Brett Hart. That I would pay to see. But what about the guys who were wrestlers only a little while ago? What about King? King gets in the ring from time to time, but not on a frequent basis. making him into a Championship caliber wrestler is different from the one time grudge match. Most fans will wonder if King has one solid match in him, but when that one time becomes a weekly basis, the illusion becomes apparent. Anyone can get lucky. Winning on a frequent basis, or even almost winning, and even the most loyal mark will see that the fix is in. As for Austin, Austin can’t bump because of his neck. So having an actual match with a wrestler is a risky decision. He’s currently in the role of general manager, and spends his time beating up Bischoff. Now he’s got Coach to beat up too. Two non-wrestlers. Whoopee. He’s a face as well. So beating up the non-wrestlers week wafter week builds a pattern, and patterns can become stale quickly. There’s also a heel champion running around cheating his balls off left and right, but is not Austin’s concern. Nope, he’s got to kick Eric’s ass. Again. Oh, and where’s Coach? As for the McMahon’s. Well, they have become defacto wrestlers. They have had extended matches, that don’t just revolve around squashing. Also, they’re the owners of the company, and no one says no to Vince. I guess my main problem with wrestlers who are not wrestlers getting TV time is not the fact that they are non-wrestlers. I got tremendous entertainment out of Al Wilson, the Man Who Lived the Dream. It’s the fact that aside from getting them on Tv, no real thought is put into what to do with them beyond that. So, as writers fumble around with ideas, the reason for putting them on in the first place, gets changed, and the character development gets all out of whack, and that really annoys me. Just doing something because it’s new or different is not always a good thing. Especially if it sucks, and it’s all to easy to tell the difference. That’s it for today. Another mammoth column. But if I took out SummerSlam, the size would be more reasonable. That’s a good thing. Apparently I’m not the only one cranking out he word count. See for yourself. Mr. Tito has gone on a writing bender last week. He’s got a column almost every day. Check them out: WRATH OF TITO HERE , HERE, HERE , HERE , AND HERE! One for every week day. Way to go Mr. Tito. Davey Boy gives a shout out to Wevv in his latest. He also went 100% in his predictions. Check it out in the latest edition of: The Wrestling Menu Jim Forzese talks about the McMahons and their need to be on TV. Excellent read The Forzese View Chris Daily checks in, and defends RVD’s outspoken ways. Check it out. Breaking The Walls Down My Weekend Homey, Phantom Lord gets the Tito writing bug and comes out with TWO columns for you; Fact or Fiction AND The Rant of The Week, where he predicts the death of the WWE in three years. Find out how! And since I am Pluggy McPlugger PlugMaster P LOP Columns Forum! More wrestling thoughts than you can shake a stick at! Even a really big stick! Where hungry newcomers are hard at work. Like Jbr, Xanman, and Quadriceps. And then there are the troopers: Pt2, Dubzilla, and DoubleHelix who takes the crown of Best TV reviewer. Why? Two Words. Carpet Man. On a side note, Optimus Starscream, don’t be afraid to use Bossman’s nightstick to get that interview. Da J Train, welcome back! Bossman, Big Show, you guys ready yet? I finished the plugs, and you’re still lounging about? C’mon, times a wasting! Get that hearse ready! I’ll stall, uh, ramble for a bit more. While reading Tito, one of his comments got me thinking. He gave props to Goldberg for selling the H injuries. I think Goldberg deserved the props, but maybe not for that. See, the latest stipulation got me thinking. I have no doubt that WWE would fire Goldberg, but to put it so bluntly took me by surprise. Then I hatched a plot. See, Goldberg was scheduled to face Test Monday. Test. Not H, Randy Orton, or any other Chamber participant. Test. Thinking back to the days of BPP, after he faced H he was put into a feud with Test. same with Booker T I think. That’s been the pattern. Once H squashes ya, you’re Test fodder. So, instead of happily entering the program with Test (look how quick Nash got out of that!), he played diplomat and kept his spot. For at least another month. Just some unfounded speculation, and I’d really like to know who suggested those stipulations for Unforgiven. In Mike Tyson News, he's signed some sort of deal with K1 MMA. My only question is this, does Tyson really need to lear martial arts? Isn't he dangerous enough already? Do you really want him Tyson leanring how to be even more dangerous? To the folks who sent the invite for Yahoo fantasy football. I can’t play. I’m already maxed out on Yahoo footballs league and can’t join anymore. I’d love to, and am talking to Yahoo about dropping out of my Public one, but that could take some time. Please send me the invite again at my new e-mail address below, and if I can join in time, I’m there. Ready Bossman? Show? Yes Show, you were left out of this column. Sorry. I already apologized for missing the Show-A-Rooni. No it’s not punishment for not telling me you were going to do that. It’s H’s fault. Honest. That’s All For This Week, Until Next Time, Be Good and Thanks For Reading Wevv “I Need a Good Closing Line” Mang mrwevv@mac.com
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