The Rant of the Week: The Death of the WWE
    Submitted by Phantom Lord on Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 4:48 AM EST

    Greetings Conversationalists all across the fruited plain, it is I your personal Harvester of Sorrow Phantom Lord and this is my Rant of the Week. It’s often duplicated, but this is the one and only original. Ever since RAW I have been in a really foul mood. It might be my depression kicking in or it could be the fact that Vince McMahon has pissed me off for the last time. I really don’t know. But before I get into the WWE, I want to address the MTV VMA’s from last night. Not even Chris Rock could save this show from being horrible. Why doesn’t MTV just air The Source awards. With the exception of Linkin Park and Mediocre Green Day, it was damn near an entire show based around Hip Hop and R&B. I’m not going to even get into the whole diversity argument…but MTV has a huge bias against rock music in general, even though it is outselling Rap and R&B. So MTV did as I feared and gave the Best Video of the year to Missy Elliot instead of Johnny Cash. I can remember a time when the Best Video of the year was never in doubt. Now it’s all about who has the flashiest video and who’s record label shelled out the most cash for an award. All I’m gonna say is Johnny Cash was robbed and Queens of the Stone Age and The White Stripes should have been nominated over 50 Cent and Justin Timberlake. Speaking of 50 Cent, he bolstered my retard argument by looking like a complete fool last night. When he grabbed Eminem’s award, he honestly looked like a deer in the headlights trying to figure out what to do with it. It’s a shame guys like him get all this praise when the real hard working acts out there get shafted. Well the highlights of the night had to be Madonna kissing Britney Spears and Christina Aguleria. It was a Skinamax Soft Core Porno come to life for about 5 seconds. Justin Timberlake had the “Damn, how come you didn’t do that with me” look after Britney kissed Madonna. Beyonce proved that you don’t need to sing live to command attention. She is the proverbial piece of ass and as long as she keeps shaking that booty like it’s 1975 then all is well. If they were smart they would have her re-make “Foxy Brown” and “Coffee”. Beyonce could very well be the new Pam Grier. Metallica closed out the show with an interesting jam on MTV Hits before showing the kiddies how it is done by playing Frantic. Could the performance been better? Yeah, but considering how bad the entire show was…this was a blessing. So in closing FUCK MTV and FUCK Missy Elliot for ruining a great lesbian three way by coming out on the stage to do a song no one can even understand. Ok I’m done ranting on the VMA’s…ON TO THE RANT.

    My friend Mike said it best about the PPV…Damn just when you think the writers came to their senses and decided to give us a good ppv they pull this one out. God Dam someone needs to show Vince what happens to a wrestling company when they let a wrestler control the show. All he needs to do is go look at his old WCW tapes and he'll see the answer

    Like I said McMahon pissed me off this week and if your expecting an optimistic outlook column, then you’re in the wrong place. I consider my self to be a realist. I see things for what they really are and I base my opinions on them. What happened at Summerslam and on RAW the next night have forced me to come to this realization. The WWE will be Dead in 3 years time. I originally was going to say one year, but I was convinced by Dumass (Go read Fact or Fiction after this) that three years is more realistic. I mean lets look at the facts before I rationally explain my viewpoint.

    Fact 1: The WWE has lost over 1/3rd of their viewers in the last three years

    Fact 2: The WWE was once valued at $1 Billion dollars. Now their stock is hovering around Junk Bond Status and their value is now around $300 to $400 million. That’s a $700 million dollar loss

    Fact 3: Old Superstars and recycled angles are favored over new stars and new angles and gimmicks that could easily make them a lot of money and kick start the ratings

    And of course Number 4…

    Fact 4: Vince McMahon feels all main event angles must revolve around him he alone is the reason people tune in

    Those are my four facts that will be the reasons why the WWE dies the same death that WCW did in 2001. Right now RAW is dying a horrible death and when it does die, it will pull Smackdown and the entire company with it. But let me backtrack to Summerslam. As I said I would, I did not order the show. Angle/Lesnar and the U.S Title 4 way were not worth the price of the ppv. As I feared the WWE did not do the right thing and Triple H retained the big gold belt. Why in god’s name did they do this? The most logical thing to do since he is hurt was to job him out quickly. Make it someone holding the tights or feet on the ropes or something. Triple H did not deserve to walk out as champion on this night. I would have had Jericho beat Goldberg in screw job fashion to continue their feud. But alas this match was made in the first place so Triple H could keep his thin veil of credibility as champion. With that aside what happened on RAW made me reach my boiling point. The show opens up with Goldberg showing he can be a team player by selling the injuries that he received the night before that made Triple H look like a bad ass despite being a gimp and only doing 45 seconds worth of work in a 30 minute match. Goldberg says he’s gonna destroy Triple H for the title. Sounds good but we know it won’t happen. Triple H runs him down and then says the match will be Title vs. Career. We all know Vince signed Goldberg just to destroy his reputation and draw power, but with Goldberg only signing a one year deal it is very likely we will see Triple H defeat him and force him to retire. If that happens then Triple H will have officially destroyed the entire upper card of RAW in one year’s time.

    But that’s not what set me off this Monday. What set me off was the continuation of the Linda McMahon/Bischoff angle. They have Chris Jericho again prove that he is a company man (Or that he’s getting a Shitload of money to put up with this shit) by having Linda come out onto the highlight reel. Ok so Eric was lying…like we really needed Linda and her monotone voice to tell us that. But stop the presses…Vince is in the house and guess what? He invited Eric into the house since pimping Stephanie as a naughty schoolgirl just wasn’t enough for Vince to do in his lifetime. He had to pimp out Linda as well. This of course brought Shane out and poor Chris Jericho was over run by McMahon’s. Long story short they made Shane/Jericho the main event. I didn’t make it to the main event. Want to know why? Christian vs. Jerry Lawler. That’s why. You see I’m an old school mark. Any time Jerry Lawler steps into the ring on RAW it brings me some joy during a horrible show. With the news Lawler is working the next MLW show in a War Games match and the fact that his match with Christian was an Intercontinental title match a thought crossed my mind. Vince is gonna give him the title not to work that show. I mean the King is still over. Only Ric Flair gets a bigger pop then him. I was marking out. Lawler was finally going to win WWF/E gold. But it was not to be. The Coach…yes that Coach, who is now a heel came down from the announce booth and cost Lawler the title. That pissed me off on so many levels. Christian is getting dicked over by the booking team. He could be such a great heel champion, but they book him as this cowardly champion who retains his title by cheating. But what would be the harm in giving Lawler the title. I mean it makes logical sense. Someone who is over should hold a title to bring attention to said title. But that was not to be and after that I left the room. I was informed later that we’ll get to see The Coach vs. The King next week on RAW. Forgive me if I don’t care. No disrespect to Jerry, but this is a glorified piss break plain and simple. I bet we won’t even get to see Lawler piledrive that Carlton Banks wanna be either. But The Fist Drop of DOOM would be nice to see provided Coachman’s skull is shattered upon impact.

    Watching RAW is like watching how not to produce quality programming. I know how to do production. It is not that hard. The WWE seem to make the simplest of shit difficult. RAW has become a disaster for the most part. While some segments (Highlight Reel, S.H.I.T/Hurricane) do work, the vast majority do not. As we all know, RAW is short on Wrestling and high on angles and skits. That’s their problem. They need to extend the matches. 5 minutes minimum should be the norm for all matches. 90 second squashes serve no purpose for anyone involved. For most people it takes a good two minutes to get into a match, on RAW as we know…most matches don’t last that long. Introductions included. This needs to stop because if you want to make new stars, then you need to give them the time to perform. It’s that simple. On RAW you have guys like Tommy Dreamer, Lance Storm, Goldust, and Stevie Richards who could breathe life into the midcard but they are buried on Sunday Night Heat.

    I think there is only one thing that can possibly save RAW. They need to crown a new number one contender for the World Heavyweight Title. Have a 16 man tournament that would last all month on RAW and it would culminate at the next PPV. Of course the sole purpose of this would be to get Chris Jericho a title shot, but at the same time you could get over at least 8 guys to bring new blood into the show. See something like this would be fresh and new for RAW and it could help lure in new viewers. Vince’s biggest demographic whether he will admit it or not is Old School fans. Sure horny teen males tune in to see Trish and the puppies, but the other half of the equation is the old school fans who long to see Wrestling. Doing a tournament like this would be a great way to reward those us who have sat through the bad and the really bad. That’s all Vince has to do for the WWE to regain it’s firm grip on top of the mountain. Just promote wrestling. It’s as simple as that. But Vince won’t do that and for all the reason’s I have listed, those will kill the WWE in the end. But if you want proof that all is not well, an upcoming house show here in New York at Madison Square Garden sold less then 2,000 tickets on the first day. The Garden holds around 18,000 for Wrestling. That is not going to be a pretty picture when that Smackdown House Show happens.

    It wasn’t all bad this week. My reason to actually care about Wrestling, NWA-TNA once again put on a stellar show and they have stacked the deck for a great show next week. Not only do we get an X-Cup mini tournament we also get something all old school fans can love, WARGAMES. While it won’t be the 2 ring blade fest’s we grew up watching it will be something fun to watch. It’s actually going to be a little of a few gimmick matches that Dusty Rhodes booked back in the day. Weapons in the cage, special enforcer holds the key. Smell the old school booking on this one. As I said in Fact or Fiction, TNA must try to get a cable deal now. USA or FX would be ideal for them. They just need a network that will allow them to do what they have been doing on PPV. With the right marketing, TNA will easily give the WWE a serious run for it’s money.

    Competition is what keeps the Wrestling industry going. But Vince killed all of his nearest competitors simply because he doesn’t want to bust his ass to earn his ratings anymore. I would love for anyone involved in Wrestling to give me an opinion on this column this week. I’ve painted a very bleak picture for the WWE. I like to think I have a sixth sense for doom and right now I see nothing but doom for the future of the WWE. If it isn’t Triple H not doing his job as a champion and making his challengers look credible then it’s Vince McMahon walking around like he and he alone can get people to pay to see the show. We pay because we want to be entertained. Seeing a 58 year old man on an ego trip is not entertaining. I except the fact the WWE is Sports Entertainment. I’m all for Sports Entertainment, but it’s like I said. They no longer know how to do it. Nostradamas said it best that what he foresees can be changed if things happen to alter it. The WWE could easily rebound, but after a week Summerslam and equally week RAW and Smackdown it does nothing but prove me right.

    Well that is it for this week. The column could have been longer, but my wrist is killing me and I have a 15 page PWA show to write this weekend. It doesn’t seem like much, but 10,000 words every week or so takes it’s toll on your hand. Plus I work with computers to begin with. What can I say, I’m doomed to have Carpel Tunnel by the time I’m 25. But it’s a labor of love. I write great shows and it keep’s my creative juices flowing.

    Who knows, maybe next week will be a more cheerful column. I kinda doubt it since a non-wrestler vs. a commentator is the featured match on RAW.

    Support NWA-TNA in any way that you can.

    Until next time, Take care.

    The Lords of Pain Message Board. Home to the PWA and some of the best discussions on Wrestling, Politics, and Entertainment around

    Send Feedback and comments to me




    *NEW GALLERY* Hot Photos of Shawn Michaels' Wife Rebecca!!

  • Quick Links -
    [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]