The Wrath of Tito - Smackdown review and more
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Friday, August 22, 2003 at 6:04 AM EST
Welcome to a special Friday edition of the Wrath of Tito. After taking a week off last week, I figured, screw it, I owe an extra column to my faithful readers. Plus, I haven't played with my laptop computer in a while....
I laugh at the internet and computer world these days. So much talk about viruses... *YAWN* It's pure stupidity that allows computer viruses to spread. Hell, my e-mail accounts get spammed like no other, and I probably get several viruses a day. But why aren't my computers getting infected? I DON'T OPEN THE DAMN ATTACHMENTS! Simply put, if I want a file sent through e-mail, I'll ask for it. Otherwise, I don't want it or you can show me at YOUR computer. If not, I can live without a simple computer file. I can.
I just laugh at how some lifeless computer hacker can sit around and make virus programs all day, but I even laugh harder at the ignorance of some people to open up viruses on their computers. If you're smart enough to use a computer, then you should be smart enough to use common sense when using one. Believe me, I'm not going to open an e-mail attachment sent to me by someone I don't even know.
Throughout my 7 years of internet use, I've only been infected with just one virus. That was back in late 1998 when my computer fell victim to the ICQ virus, which was a virus programmed into a prototype version of ICQ 99. I was a big ICQ fan back then, and I was curious to see the next version of ICQ a bit early. Little did I know that someone programmed a virus through it, and BAM, my computer was thrashed. It occurred on the famous Compaq from Hell computer, and it spent a few days in the show to fix (good thing I had a warranty!). I actually wrote a column dedicated to this, if you want to dig into my archives @ http://mrtitopdc.tripod.com.
I'm telling you, the time is NOW to push Eddie Guerrero into the main event. He's a proven ratings draw (high hispanic ratings), and the US title plans were apparently changed because of Guerrero's rise to fame of late. He seems to have finally rid himself of drugs and other personal problems, too, and he's been nothing but an upstanding wrestler backstage. Push him! A Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero feud could be big money, in this columnist's opinion.
I love the Pay Per View/Television argument. A good example of this would be the Undertaker defeating John Cena at Vengeance, only to lose in the rematch at Smackdown, soon thereafter. Ok, fast foward to 5 years from now. Some random wrestling fan looks through some tapes at a store and sees Cena vs. Undertaker on Vengeance. So when that fan sees that match, he'll realize that the Undertaker got the best of John Cena, while fully not knowing who won later on a television show. The WWE veterans, Triple H and Undertaker namely, know that Pay Per Views are more remembered than television shows. Do TV shows make it to video? Only highlights... Believe me, I have a bigger memory of Pay Per Views than I ever would on television shows, and that's likewise with the rest of the wrestling fans.
I'm happy that the WWE is going to create a From the Vault: Ric Flair DVD. With the NWA/WCW and WWF/WWE video libraries, that thing could be a prize. If I were making the video, I'd put the obvious and famous Starrcade match between Flair and Harley Race on the video, ANY or ALL of the Ricky Steamboat matches from 1989, any match against Sting, any match against Vader, the Wrestlemania 8 match against Randy Savage, the first Flair vs. Hogan match in WCW, and I'd put on the one against the Giant when Flair lost the WCW World Title, which is a great laugh to see Flair cheating against a large individual. I bet you that Flair vs. McMahon from Royal Rumble 2002 makes the tape...
I'm just ITCHING for the NFL season to begin. I have two televisions in my room, and I was watching Smackdown with the Cowboys vs. Steelers Preseason game on my other television. Good stuff indeed. I can't wait for the Fantasy Football part of it, along with what I consider a more entertaining brand of football than college. Just my opinion.
On to Smackdown...
SMACKDOWN is TITO
Kurt Angle comes out to start the show, talks smack, and says he wants Brock right then and there. Vince McMahon, so full of himself on camera and in real life, comes out to confront Angle, saying there will be no Summerslam preview tonight. If Angle touches Lesnar or Vince tonight, he'll be suspended or fired. Vince is pretty stale anymore, and he's in front a young UPN crowd. Vince then offers Big Show to Kurt Angle as a "tune up" match. Angle wants Big Show now, and attacks him. Officials and road agents pull Angle back. I like Brock's heel turn, but it's just another way for Vince McMahon to get more television time.
Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy is our first match of the night. Funny Matt fact with "Matt has never lost his cell phone". I wonder if that was a fun poke at Jeff Hardy, who was always late for wrestling events due to apparently losing his cell phone? They begin teasing the Kidman/Mysterio split, as Kidman gets ejected from the match from being at ringside. They've been a pretty over team... I wouldn't split them up just yet, especially since Kidman isn't that strong of a heel. The match started off slow, but had a pretty hot finish. Glad to see Zach Gowen shaved his hair. He was looking like a real moron with the style he had.
Lesnar and Vince are backstage, talking, and Lesnar wants a match too. Vince gives him Zach Gowen, which I hope is a total squash. I laugh at Gowen now, especially since he couldn't beat a NON-WRESTLER in Vince McMahon at Vengeance. Speaking of non wrestlers, we had a highlight reel of Stephanie vs. Albert-Train. More proof that the McMahons are currently full of themselves... It's amazing how I keep pointing this out, week in and week out, and yet I'll get the emails yelling at me for bashing the McMahons for no reason every week. Please, there are plenty of reasons to badmouth the McMahons right now, who are singlehandedly killing the company that makes them money. Make sense? No it doesn't.
The WWE really wants its fanbase to love and cherish Zach Gowen, as they are milking the Detroit hometown crowd, and then interviewing his mother. At the end of the day, Zach Gowen is still a wrestler who couldn't beat Vince McMahon in a match.
Billy Gunn and Jamie Noble took on the Basham Brothers. Shaniqua still doesn't look good as their manager, but at least it keeps her out of the ring for now. Funny how the Tough Enough 2 winners are VALETS, not wrestlers. The WWE learned their lesson on that one. The 2 guys who play the Basham brothers do look like brothers. Silent crowd, holy crowd.... all is calm, all is not over... I have to wonder if Gunn/Noble will get a tag team title push, given how much Michael Cole tells us about how many times Billy Gunn has won the tag team titles. Makes you wonder. Nice front headlock and leg scissors, while sitting down, move by Noble. What is the move called? "Fuck if I know". The chaos at the end had clearly piped in crowd noise. Dry match, but at least the Bashams are playing the confusion game by looking so alike. Nice double clothesline by Shaniqua, I might add, on Torrie and Nidia.
Our next match was Brock Lesnar vs. Zach Gowen. Gowen's new music sucks, brother. If I were Gowen, I'd load his fake leg up or have it made out of some kind of steel and just blast your opponent. Maybe he'll do that when he turns heel? *Hard to watch with VH1's "I Love the 70's" on right now... * Nice to see Lesnar whipping out the double powerbomb on Gowen. DEVASTATING chairshot on Gowen! Lesnar would then do the F5 to Gowen on the post, destroying Gowen's one leg. Another F5 was given! Give him another! Gowen did quite a blade job on himself, by the way. One of the cameras used was really blurry, by the way, for the end of this segment. Could just be my UPN censoring something?
I forgot to comment on this before... Am I the only one who feels that it's somewhat sad that Metallica is pawning off their newer music to the WWE for an event theme song? I mean, it's Metallica, one of the biggest bands of the last 20 years, and they are lending their music off to a wrestling show? It's one thing if you're semi-big, but it's another if you're Metallica. I've heard that album sales of St. Anger have been down, with their sales hovering around 2 million. Going to the WWE for help on sales is a new low for them.
John Cena had a great rap, again. "Read between the lines, I'm giving you the middle finger. Detroit has more white trash than Jerry Springer". Truly, an original talent, and if his wrestling ability catches up to his mic skills, he's a star for many years to come. Cena's tag partner was the A-Train, who himself has a little funk in him back when he tagged up with Scotty 2 Hotty. Boy, I'm funny. More piped in chants for Orlando Jordan. His partner was the Undertaker. Odd tag bout set up... By this match alone, Vince McMahon is living his dream of setting up an eventual Albert vs. Undertaker match or feud. I have yet to be impressed with Orlando Jordan. What does he add to the product besides being a great athlete? A-Train clips the Last Ride and Cena gets the pin. Totally tainted win and again, on television. Undertaker still walks out the king. Sloppy tag match, and further proof of where we are headed: Albert vs. the Undertaker.
Backstage, Sable offers herself to Albert for the deeds done recently to Stephanie. Did Sable just feel up Albert's chest?
The next match was Chris Benoit/Tajiri vs. Eddie Guerrero/Rhyno.... Not much incentive to see their "Fatal 4 Way" if all 4 participants are in this match right now, right? What's so wrong with doing Eddie vs. Benoit again, anyway? Tajiri is a ball of fire here! Good little tag match, with all 4 participants qualified to put on watchable matches. I still prefer one on one bouts, but we'll see what goes down at Summerslam. Eddie Guerrero, who rules, attacked Rhyno after the match, showing you who is the man right now in the WWE!
Our main event was a "Street Fight" between Kurt Angle and Big Show. Chairs and tables involved, given how innovative WWE street fights truly are. Yeah, I'll find those items in a street. Nice stuff with Angle hitting Big Show with a chair in mid-powerbomb. Big Show is taking a pretty good beating in this match. As he should, for if I wrestled a 7 footer, I'd go for the weapons, too. Good finish with the Angle slam through the table. That match works for me. Brock Lesnar would walks out and the two stare each other down for the finish.
LAST WORD: Other than Angle vs. Brock Lesnar, the Smackdown roster seems to have weak hype heading into Summerslam. The WWE writers don't know whether to stick with the youth or keep pushing the older guys. Too much confusion. The show had a few good matches and Lesnar is looking really strong as a heel. I like it, so a [ B ] grade is given.
WILLYGOAT VALLEY WRESTLING - Better Gimmicks than the WWE!
@That's all for this edition. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you possibly on Monday with a Summerslam review. If not, you'll see a packed Tuesday edition.
Mr. Tito © 1998 - 2003
*NEW GALLERY* Very CONTROVERSIAL Shots of Randy Orton in His Hotel Room!!
