WWE SmackDown Results: 7/24/03 - Show, Haas, Benjamin vs. Angle, Lesnar, Gowen
Submitted by Dustin Tingue on Friday, July 25, 2003 at 1:28 AM EST



WWE SMACKDOWN! - 7/24/03

Location: Fresno, California (taped 7/22)
Announcing: Michael Cole & Tazz

I pretty much forgot about doing this tonight and I'm pretty tired so here's a quick recap.

Stephanie McMahon came out to start the show. She vowed to take back control of SmackDown! since Vince wasn't there tonight. John Cena saved the day and had this to say:

Hey I’m sorry to interrupt you Steph, I had this dream of you last night
You had me standing at attention, I can’t wait to see you catfight
I lost my concentration, I was staring at your “targets”
And at Vengeance hopefully I’ll find out if the curtains match the carpet
No I mean it, I’ll be glued to the boob tube, you’ll squash Sable completely
You make all five of my girlfriends jealous (holds hand up), each of them wants to beat me
You and Sable fighting, that’s good for my health
Something about you makes me get in touch with myself
Look, here’s 20 bucks, please rip Sable’s top off
You see, I got this little fetish with nipples and I’ll definitely get my rocks off
And Sable’s just a ho, you are a Diva with class
No one’s watchin’ us Steph, why don’t you let me slap that ass!

(Courtesy once again of the great Derek Burgan)

Stephanie complied with Cena's request and he did indeed slap that ass. Sable then appeared on the big screen and her and Steph traded some words before Steph finally decided to head to the back and look for her. Most of the words spoken in this segment were about what happened on Raw with Linda McMahon getting a Tombstone on the stage and all.

During the break footage shows us Stephanie finding Sable in the parking garage (I'm assuming, since there's a limo right there that Sable is trying to get into). Steph tore into Sable pretty good and eventually tore her top off (boobies! censored, of course). Sable eventually escaped into the limo, which just sat there. Stephanie grabbed a pipe and went to smash in the windows but Vince McMahon stepped in the way and told her to save it for Vengeance.

Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman defeated Matt Hardy & Shannon Moore. Excellent match with a lot of high flying spots. Finish came with Rey hitting the 619 on Moore while Kidman landed the Shooting Star Press on Hardy.

Jamie Noble walked out to the ring next, sans Nidia. He insisted that she was at home sick. Again, Noble made some offers to get into Torrie Wilson's pants and this eventually led to...

Billy Gunn (with Torrie Wilson) defeated Jamie Noble. Not much of a match, Gunn got the win with a nice finisher, which can best be described as a spinning Rock Bottom, as Tazz put it. Afterwards, Noble grabbed the stick and said he was better than Gunn in every way, especially in the sack. Torrie cut in and said that she was so confident in Gunn that if Noble beat him at Vengeance, she'd sleep with him, live on SmackDown!, next week. Well ladefrickinda.

Backstage, the APA continued to hand out fliers for the brawl at Vengeance. A-Train approached, looking to get invited and they got into a discussion about the Easter Bunny. A few names that have been invited: John and Matt (TE3 winners) Doink the Clow, and um, Los Conquistadores, also, Brother Love. After Train had taken off, the Brooklyn Brawler came up and said he wanted in because he hates Doink the Clown. The APA said he had from now until Sunday to prove he was worthy of being in the brawl.

We then saw a promo with John Cena standing inside a flaming (upside down) pentagram. Dudes who transcribe Cena's raps rule the house.

Yo Undertaker, you say I gotta learn the hardway? I got a phD in Thuganomics. I know everything there is to know.

I know we should put you out to pasture, have a seat on the porch
You’re scared to death to pass this new legend the Torch
Going from Lucifer after Dead Man in a casket?
Don’t mess with me, I’ll put you to Hell in a hand basket
Talking Hellfire, tellin’ people you the devil?
You’s a flamer punk AND you’re not at MY level
You can’t sacrifice me, my name isn’t Mideon
I’ll go Waco on your ass, like a Branch Davidian
Tellin’ people you devil, chanting 666
I claim heavenly Vengeance, and I’ll make you my bitch!

(Once again, Derek Burgan)

In the arena, Eddie Guerrero rolled on out and then had some words on Chris Benoit. He said they've been great friends over the years and yaddah yaddah yah but he said he was tired of living in his shadow, etc. This brought out (of course) Chris Benoit and the two went back and forth for a bit before they started brawling. They wound up on the outside where Guerrero grabbed some Turtle Wax from his car and sprayed it into Benoit's eyes. With Benoit blinded, Rhyno ran in and challenged Guerrero to a match.

Eddie Guerrero defeated Rhyno. Another priceless finish from Guerrero, after Rhyno nearly speared the ref, Eddie caught Rhyno with a lowblow but then went down like he had just been hit in the nads as well. The ref looked confused but Eddie got up and landed a dropkick to get the win.

The APA defeated The FBI. Yeah, they won, but I don't remember how. After the short match, the Brawler hit the ring and proceeded to lay out everyone with a steel chair. I guess that's proof enough.

Big Show & The World's Greatest Tag Team defeated Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle & Zack Gowen. Good match. Angle and Lesnar had the upper hand with Angle having Benjamin trapped in an anklelock and Lesnar having Haas up for the F5. However, when Lesnar swung Haas around for the F5, Haas' feet took out Angle which led to Show coming in and after hitting a slam, getting the win.

Sorry it sucked.

Feedback: dustin@wrestlingheadlines.com








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