WWE Velocity Results 7-19-03
    Submitted by David Orton on Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 2:00 PM EST

    WWE Velocity Report
    Saturday, July 19th, 2003
    By David Orton


    Josh Matthews plugged the main event at Vengeance, and said that Velocity would be off the hook tonight. The FBI’s music hit and out they came.

    SPANKY and TAJIRI vs. JOHNNY THE BULL and CHUCK PALUMBO (w/ Nunzio)

    The FBI dominated the match early on, punishing Spanky with a barrage of offense. The crowd got behind Spanky as they chanted his name. Palumbo put an armbar on Spanky, but he Hulked up and got the hot tag to Funaki at 3:17. Funaki entered and took care of business. Funaki hit the tornado DDT on Palumbo at 4:40 for the victory.

    WINNERS: Funaki and Spanky at 4:40

    STAR RATING: *3/4-- Too short to be 2 stars, but a very good match for Velocity. A few missed spots but overall, solid action.


    The WrestleMania recall aired, recapping the ridiculous 1st round knockout of Bart Gunn by Butterbean. What a joke that was. Even the toughest guy in the WWF at the time couldn’t last one round with a fat overweight Superheavyweight boxer. I Guess Vince learned his lesson the first time around with the Brawl For All tournament.

    THE BASHAM BROTHERS (w/ Shaniqua) vs JOHNNY JETER and MATT CAPPATELLI

    Before the match, one of the Basham’s licked Shaniqua’s boots. Odd. Matthews reminded us that Cappatelli was the winner of Tough Enough 3, which I for one was thankful for since I had completely forgotten. In the end, Shaniqua distracted the ref while the Basham’s hit the Ball and Gag for the victory.

    WINNER: The Basham Brothers at 8:17

    STAR RATING: *-- The Basham’s remind me too much of the Harris twins.

    Highlights aired of the Matt Hardy Chris Benoit match on Smackdown. This was the best TV match I had seen in a long time. Matt’s bloody face added a cool feeling and a sense of realism to this match.

    More Highlights, this time of Guererro vs. Billy Gunn. Boy, wasn’t that embarrassing when the crowd chanted for the heel Guerrero instead of getting behind the face Gunn? Guererro’s facial expressions when he went for the cover on Gunn were priceless.

    Backstage, Farooq and The Guy That Looks Like Billy Gunn confronted and invited Jeter and Cappatelli to their barroom brawl at Vengeance.

    Another Smackdown highlight, this time of, you guessed it, Stephanie McMahon’s attack on Sable. My goodness, do we really have to see this again? Big Steph is so embarrassing it makes me embarrassed to even watch her.

    A-TRAIN VS ORLANDO JORDAN

    This was a rematch from last week’s match between the same two. This time it was basically a squash, which was a little surprising to me. Train pinned Jordan clean in the middle of the ring with the Train Wreck.

    WINNER: A-Train at 4:01

    STAR RATING: ½*-- Please fire A-Train.

    They plugged Have More Money Now, the new book by Bradshaw about how to make money. This reminded me of that time about 15 years ago when they aired an infomercial on Saturday Night’s Main Event for a fat burning product called "Blow Away" endorsed by Playboy Buddy Rose. The whole thing was a satire and it was funny. The problem with Bradshaw’s book is that this is no joke. He actually wrote it, and the WWE actually expect us to buy it.

    They aired highlights of the Smackdown main event handicap match between Angle and Haas/Benjamin/Big Show. The trash can lid that Angle used to knock out his opponents looked like it would bend if you looked at it the wrong way. That said, this match gave the Hardy/Benoit match a run for the best match of the night and TV match of the year.

    They ran down the card for Vengeance, which is shaping out to be a dang good show thus far.

    NIDIA vs DAWN MARIE

    Nidia came to the ring sans Noble. Before the match, Dawn Marie got on the mic and made fun of Nidia for Noble’s offering Torrie 20,000 dollars to spend the night with him. In the match, Dawn Marie kicked Nidia in the crotch, which prompted Matthews to ask "I wonder what affect that has on a female?" Then he said to the Cat, "Maybe I should ask you what affects it has on a female." Funny. The worst thing about female wrestling matches isn’t their lack of wrestling abilities, but instead it is their lack of acting abilities. We see some great and innovative spots in female wrestling matches, but they do too many idiotic and unbelievable things in the ring that make us forget all too quickly about the good stuff. In the end, Nidia hit her finisher and grabbed the rope for leverage to pin Dawn Marie.

    WINNER: DAWN MARIE at 3:47

    STAR RATING: 3/4*-- It was good to see a female match on Velocity.

    OVERALL SHOW: Good show, a big improvement upon last week’s debacle. Looks like someone printed up my report last week and showed it to old Vinnie Mac and he made the necessary improvements. Right. I’ve always said, the more unique wrestling you see on the second tier shows like Velocity, the better they become. As soon as they become Smackdown or Raw highlight shows, the fans lose interest.




    *NEW GALLERY* BRAND NEW Pregnancy Photos of a BIG Stephanie McMahon!

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