The Wrestling Menu - Royal Rumble & Raw Reviews
    Submitted by DaveyBoy on Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 7:09 AM EST



    THE WRESTLING MENU #32

    Welcome one and all to the 32nd edition of The Wrestling Menu, the column that is sure to satisfy your taste buds when it comes to discussing all things wrestling.

    G'day, I'm not Nathan Jones & I have never been in prison. But I do come from the same country as the newest WWE superstar. The land down under; Australia.

    You did see right in the column title; I do have a Royal Rumble review for you today!!! I know you will all refer me to the nasty (but true) things I said in last week's column, but read on to find out how I got to see the Rumble. Just on last week's column, I got a heap of feedback once more. Especially from Australians who (a) agreed with my comments 100% & (b) had also e-mailed the WWE & not received a response. From what a lot of people say in North America, responses (even if they are terrible) are usually received within a week. So it looks as if the WWE is boycotting Australians on every level. Once more, I ask the WWE; What the first 'W' in WWE stands for...???


    APPETIZERS - The Rumble

    So how did DaveyBoy have the pleasure of viewing the Royal Rumble...??? Well, about 24 hours after my column was posted last Wednesday, it was announced that the largest chain of cinemas in Australia (Village) would show the Royal Rumble in selected cinemas. It played in 6 cinemas in Melbourne & 2 in Sydney on a 24 hour delay. As far as I know, there was only one screening in each cinema.

    It was actually a pleasant change to get the atmosphere of all the fans in a jam-packed cinema. It did add to the event in a way, and as per usual, it was always interesting to see which superstars got cheered and/or booed. By the way, when I say 'jam-packed', I mean jam-packed. The screening at my local cinema was completely sold out. Hopefully, this will mean that upcoming pay-per-views can also be shown. The negatives of the screening were superficial; (1) we had to sit through the 30 minute free-for-all, (2) the volume was a little too loud, and (3) the Kurt Angle-Chris Benoit match was stopped for intermission with approximately 2 minutes remaining. I think this was supposed to build up the suspense!?!?!?

    But don't get me wrong, as much as I thank both Village Cinemas & the WWE for the opportunity of watching the event, I still stand by my words directed at the WWE last week. Nothing has changed whatsoever. I don't want to talk about it too much more, as I will just repeat what I said last week. But I will throw in a couple of more points to consider; (a) the WWE only had to be at one of the screenings to see how loyal & passionate the Australian WWE fans are & (b) last weekend saw the Undisputed 140 pound boxing title fight between Kostya Tsyzu & Jesse James Leija take place at the same stadium that hosted the WWE last August. The boxing drew what was regarded as a good crowd of approximately 28,000. The WWE drew over 56,000!!!


    MAIN - Royal Rumble Review

    For those that cannot recall my Survivor Series & Armageddon review columns, this is the key (of sorts), that explains what the final PPV Rating means:

    <50: Ask for a refund for not only your money, but also your time. [F]
    50-54: Mediocre & disappointing. [D] (EG: UnForgiven 2002)
    55-59: Average. [C]
    60-64: Worth A Watch. [C+] (EG: No Mercy 2002 & Armageddon 2002)
    65-69: Good event that was worth the money. [B] (EG: Survivor Series 2002)
    70-74: Very good. [B+]
    75-79: Make sure you add this ppv to your video or dvd collection. [A] (EG: SummerSlam 2002)
    80+ : Make sure that the video or dvd is locked in a safe & cannot be erased. Memorable. [A+]

    BROCK LESNAR defeated THE BIG SHOW to advance to the Royal Rumble Match: Luckily this did end up being better than their Survivor Series match. However, I still was a little disappointed. As much as Lesnar's strength was impressive, I already knew this from his previous meetings with TBS. This match didn't really give us anything more, except maybe an ending to their feud. Boy, that final F-5 sure was messy!!! Match Rating...6

    THE DUDLEY BOYZ defeated LANCE STORM & WILLIAM REGAL to Win the World Tag-Team Titles: Despite not being anything special, this match wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. To me, it appeared as if the Dudleyz slightly adjusted their styles to fit in with their opponents. Having said that, more excitement should have been drawn from the match. It seemed like the WWE thought this would occur purely from the result. As for the result, I cannot see why Storm & Regal couldn't have retained the titles for a few more weeks. Switching the titles around constantly does nothing for their prestige. Match Rating...6

    TORRIE WILSON defeated DAWN-MARIE WILSON: What can I say...??? This was a waste of time. This coming from a person that thinks the Womens Division should be retained!!! The only 2 positives I saw was that the match was very short & didn't have too many botched moves. I was just begging for Victoria or Jazz to do a run-in. It might not have made sense, but neither Torrie nor Dawn-Marie can carry a wrestling match. Match Rating...2

    SCOTT STEINER defeated TRIPLE H by Disqualification in a match for the World Heavyweight Title: I have not seen any other reviews of the Rumble (before posting my column) just so I could write what I am about to write uninfluenced. I get a funny feeling that this match will be bashed from pillar to post by most reviewers. I don't totally agree. As much as it was very messy & didn't flow well, I thought the entertainment aspect of this match was good. Maybe, I am being light on this match, because I was expecting it to be worse. I don't know, I just thought the intensity was decent & the interaction of Ric Flair & Earl Hebner saved this bout. It was also very strange to see the crowd cheering Triple H & booing Steiner. Match Rating...6

    KURT ANGLE defeated CHRIS BENOIT to retain the WWE Championship: Excellent match!!! Leading into this, I just thought it would be similar to what they had put together previously. I thought that there was no way Benoit could win & this match was only on the card to see the reaction that Benoit would get at main event level. While these points still held true, the match was a resounding success anyway. At times, it genuinely appeared as if Benoit would win the bout, and the standing ovation he received afterwards will surely be noticed by WWE decision makers. The match itself was a good hybrid of their previous efforts. While containing technical bursts, it didn't get bogged down. There was a few new reversals performed & the overall psychology of the match was top-notch. My initial reaction rating to this match was a 9, as it took a little while to get going. But I have changed the rating, as I have learnt in the past few months that it is practically impossible to put on a 25 minute masterpiece from beginning to end. Match Rating...10

    ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH Won By Brock Lesnar: Like I said last week in my predictions column, I think the fact that there were 15 wrestlers from each roster really helped out this Royal Rumble. It just added that something fresh to the equation. The match itself was very well booked with the exception of a couple of things. For the most part, I liked when wrestlers entered the match, how long they remained & who they were eliminated by. Furthermore, the entertainment aspect of this match was high. The Matt Hardy/Shannon Moore shenanigans, Chris Jericho/Christian hijinx, and the interaction of the Hardyz, and Kane with both RVD & The Undertaker, all added to the spectacle.

    Picking out the negatives; Jericho was eliminated a little early for my liking (by Test of all people), not long after a referee apparently saved him from being accidentally eliminated. The ending looked like a battle of the giants & Brock Lesnar, who was the odds-on favorite to win the match, was handed the #29 entry. The unpredictability aspect of the match was basically thrown out as soon as the 25th wrestler had entered & Brock Lesnar was still in the dressing room. But like I said, those negatives are being picky & all in all, this match once more delivered the goods. Match Rating...9

    PPV RATING (39/60) = 65

    Looking at the key, I have basically given the 2003 Royal Rumble a 'B' grade & said that it was a 'good event that was worth the money'. It only just got into that rating range, yet I'm still happy with that overall grade & comment. The Royal Rumble is always a hard event to grade, as there are less matches on the card & the main event will almost always deliver the goods. When I think about it, there were only 2 matches on this card that were anything special. But both of them were 'must-see' matches, and at the end of the day, that has to be considered heavily. This was especially the case this year, seeing as though these 2 matches took up almost exactly half of the ppv in time.


    DESSERT - Raw Review

    DaveyBoy's monthly Raw review also returns today. Most may recall that I like to review Raw the night after a Pay-Per-View, as I often feel that the 2 shows which come just 24 hours apart, are inter-linked. It is also when many shocking & surprising things will happen. I was looking forward to this Raw especially, as Eric Bischoff stated at the Royal Rumble that he had a bombshell to drop. As per usual, my Raw review is not as serious as the 'PPV Review' & I will often throw in the odd sarcastic comment. I also do it in point form so that I don't rant on too much.

    - Not the start I wanted to see, as Triple H walks out to the ring. I'm not sure why, but I actually found his lying funny tonight; " a 30 minute match last night" & "a note from my doctor". As long as he doesn't really believe it, I'm fine with it.

    - By-the-numbers, but nonetheless entertaining 4 minute opening match that saw RVD defeat Jeff Hardy. Jeff was showing more emotion than usual in this match & you could tell that something was going to happen. After the loss, it appeared as if Jeff took the first step in his heel turn. This bout would have been better off opening the show.

    - Chief of Boredom Morley wants the Dudleyz to forfeit their titles. Storm & Regal attack & an impromptu 3 second match takes place, resulting in the titles switching back to Team Boring. Did I refer to the lack of prestige of these titles in the 'Main' section today!?!?!?

    - A botch of an intergender mach was next. Maybe these 4 were suffering ring-rust from not appearing at the Royal Rumble.

    - Bischoff's huge bombshell is that he is welcoming Stone Cold Steve Austin back at No Way Out!!! The first thing I thought was what the next match would be tonight. Only 2 matches in the first hour!!!

    - Did JR say Booker T & Goldust both had strong nights at the Rumble? My recollection is that Goldust lasted about 1 minute!!! Decent enough tag match against Rosey & Jamal followed. It still beats me why the tag titles were taken off Booker T & Goldust, if Booker is not going to get a singles push.

    - Another match was progressing sufficiently until it was stopped when Jericho accidentally clocked Stacy Keibler with a chair. What followed was Test dropping the F-bomb, Jericho apologizing & Test crying. It was like Bizarro World! I'm not sure where this will end up going, but a feud with Test is not what Jericho deserves right now.

    - Tommy 'I caused more injuries in the Rumble than minutes I lasted' Dreamer takes on D-Lo Brown in a Singapore Cane match next. D-Lo now has Teddy Long preaching with him. Why couldn't Slick have made a comeback!?!?!? I would have marked out big time if Jive Sole Bro was played. D-Lo won an awful match.

    - You could say the hints of a 4 Horsemen return were as subtle as a sledgehammer shot when Orton, Flair & Triple H interfered in the Batista vs Scott Steiner main event only 2 minutes in. They can hint all they want, but I hope the group is not reformed. Why can't they be called the '3 Wise Men' or something like that? That way, Flair can lead them to the ring as the 'Wrestling God'. Or he could be Goldilocks with the 3 Bears. Or how about the Wolf with the 3 pigs? I could go on forever...


    All in all, a very disappointing Raw tonight after a decent show last week & a good pay-per-view the night before. Practically no main event, 2 matches that ended in no contests & a stupid title switch cannot make for a good show. Furthermore, the hyped bombshell turned out to be a bomb, in my opinion. I'm not underestimating the significance & importance of Austin's return by any means, but when a "bombshell" is hyped prior to a show, an announcement alone does not suffice.


    That about does it for today. I hope you enjoyed reading these reviews as much as I enjoyed writing them. As per usual, please feel free to send me an e-mail letting me know what you thought of this column. I would be extremely interested in knowing what you thought of my opinions on the Royal Rumble & Raw. Please remember that I did not have the luxury of a second viewing of the ppv matches this time around. My e-mail address is DaveyBoy123@bigpond.com.

    Next Wednesday in The Wrestling Menu, I am going to continue a theme that I began today; Reviews. That's right, in the next 3 weeks, you're going to get review after review from DaveyBoy. Everything from CD's, compilation DVD's, PPV's on DVD's & anything else I can think of. They won't be as structured as my monthly 'PPV Reviews', but more a rundown with my thoughts & impressions. Next week it will be a WWE free zone, as I review 3 other promotions from the past & present. Look out for the column same Wednesday time & same LOP channel next week. Until then, this is Davey Boy signing off & asking you to remember that dinner is best served in 3 courses.





    *NEW GALLERY* Very HOT and Rare Candid Photos of Mickie James!

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