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Submitted by Brendan Campbell on Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 12:24 PM EST
Hello and welcome to another special edition of I Know What You Did Last Monday. During this edition I’ll be taking a look at the Smackdown! roster and talking about it’s high points and low points, and where certain stars stand just as I did in Wednesday‘s column with the RAW brand. Smackdown! Class of 2003Class President: For this one I’m going to have to go with experience as well as knowledge for the business, just as I did with Flair on the RAW side. I’m giving my vote for Chris Benoit to take home this title. While he’s always been underutilized wherever he is, his ability to put on top notch matches never fails. He’ll take on anyone and put over anyone just the same. He doesn’t complain backstage (or at least that it’s made public), he just does his job. He’s also been around the world wrestling. Are his mic skills great? Not great, but there ARE worse! Plus, how much time has been given to him to practice? So with that I proudly award Chris Benoit with the Class President award for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Teacher’s Pet: While it’s obvious on RAW who the teacher’s pet is…Smackdown is a bit harder. You could say Stephanie McMahon who just tries to get herself on TV more when she sees her time is running thin. You could say Hulk Hogan because for some weird reason they mistook that his first few months of re-novelty last year as a rebirth of an ENTIRELY NEW Hogan career that is boring, taking up too much TV time, and holding down younger stars. You could also say Big Show because no matter how much crap he does he STILL gets main event shots? Whatsupwitdat? So with that, I award a three way tie, between Stephanie McMahon, Hulk Hogan and The Big Show, for the title Teacher’s Pet in the Smackdown Class of 2003. ***NOTE: All three were contacted for comments, but it was too hard for them to answer with their lips firmly placed on Vince’s ass. Class Ass-Clown: Once again I’ll restate that this award is not for the funny man on the show! This award goes to those in the class who are just so sad you don’t know how they’re getting time. They HAD potential to do SOMETHING, but after constant misuse, they’re just going nowhere. Without a doubt the first person on this list is Rikishi. How does this guy SERIOUSLY still have a job?! Throw him on Velocity and let THOSE ratings drop! Keep him out of pointless, feudless tag-team matches JUST to get him on Smackdown! We don’t want to see him! He’s boring, can’t wrestle and does the EXACT SAME MOVE SET each time. Punch, kick, clothesline, maybe a Samoan-Drop, crushes the guy in the corner and then is SHOCKED when he falls down (because they ALL do!) and then he rubs his ass in their face…pathetic. Then there’s the ever loving Albert. A pathetic wrestler with more hair on him than a gorilla. How he got ANY sort of push is beyond me. And adding A-Train in there as a name with a train sound before his music REALLY got the fans on edge eh? Didn’t JR say he was the NEXT BIG THING? So much for Ross’s credibility when seeing future talent… So with that I give the award of Class Ass-Clowns for the Smackdown Class of 2003 to both Rikishi and Albert. Nerds: Just to restate once more for those who didn’t read the last column (and if you didn’t go get your but to the Wednesday section and do so!) the nerds award is for those who aren’t popular now, but they try hard and eventually it may pay off for them down the road (Ever hear the saying, be nice to nerds now, they‘ll be your boss later?) We have a couple of Smackdown, which used to be the show FOR younger talent, but now it’s WCW 2. Anyway, one of the nerds would be Jamie Noble. His white trash gimmick has run its course and is boring when it does come up. Remodel him as a threat and USE HIM as one. If they ever DO use the Cruiserweight division for good, then he could put on some good matches, but this is Vince McMahon so I’m shocked he doesn’t have an Overweight Championship. Also we have Rhyno. He goes back and forth, but really has nowhere to go. No angle, no character, no nothing. If they used him right he could work some nice midcard matches! But…they don’t, shockingly. I also believe that Sean O’Haire should work more as Vince’s henchman OR just go out on his own and use the kind of speeches he was giving in his comeback promos to get over. Who knows, gimmicks sometimes work! Look at John Cena…then again, what has the WWE done with HIM lately? So with that I give Noble, Rhyno and O’Haire the official nerds award for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Most likely to succeed: This one I find obvious, even though it won’t be for almost another year. The most likely to succeed on Smackdown has GOT to be Edge. He’s the future of Smackdown and the WWE. He should get thrown into the WORLD TITLE (as he always types it) scene as soon as he gets back. Hopefully the WWE will push him up there and set up a scene where he, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit and Eddie G. can all feud for the title. Now THAT would get buy rates…none of this Brock VS Big Show crap… Edge is one of the hardest workers in wrestling, and has given it his all. In my opinion he’s the next Bret Hart. Same kind of never give up attitude. Hopefully he just doesn’t get screwed over by the WWE the same way Bret did. So here’s to Edge! The winner of the Most Likely to Succeed (once returned) for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Best chance to move up in the world: The person with the BEST chance to move up, well I should say persons, are two of the most talented and overlooked stars in the line-up. Once again we have Benoit for the reasons stated above. He has the chance to be a threat for the world title, they just don’t want him up there. Why? Because it’s Vince. Second we have Mattitude, Matt Hardy!. One of the best on the mic, and has a really cool gimmick that they’re just THROWING AWAY! It’s like they don’t even care, really! I mean let’s push the boring Mr. America gimmick and toss aside all young rising stars. IF they had continued on the high road with Mattitude, he could be a serious threat right now for Brock…at least it would add some entertainment throughout the summer, and some change! So with that I give these two the award for best chance to move up. If they’re used right and pushed now, they CAN be threats in the main event…but they won’t be, so what can you do? So Benoit, Hardy, you two are the winners of the Best Chance to Move Up in the World title for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Most Likely to be Forgotten: I believe that we can throw Nathan Jones and Albert into this mess. I mean really, who misses Albert? And when the WWE posted on their website explaining where Jones was because people were ‘curious’, do you really think anyone cared? No. These two could be gone now and NOBODY would even turn a head. Most likely to fail miserably at any and all future endeavours: Well, Smackdown is filled with them! I’m going to have to go with the big men here though, just like above. Nathan Jones, A-Train, Bill Demott (though he was cool on Tough Enough) and theBig Show. Seriously, the first two have been explained. Bill Demott was a cool teacher on Tough Enough, so if they bring that back (which they should because it was cool, even if the guys coming out aren’t GREAT) and the Big Show fails at EVERY attempt to move up. It’s sad actually… So with that, I give the Most likely to fail miserably at any and all future endeavours (Unless you’re Demott teaching Tough Enough) to Nathan Jones, A-Train, Demott and Big Show for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Greatest Talent: The greatest talent that Smackdown has can’t be denied, as he’s also their top guy and has been my fav. Guy since he entered the WWE, and he’ll be BACK this week! Kurt Angle is without a doubt the greatest talent on the WWE roster. His mic skills and in-ring talent compares to no other. Sure, there are some like Benoit who may be able to out wrestle him (depends on who you ask) but over-all, nobody hands out entertainment AND great matches like my man Angle…so with that I give the Greatest Talent for the Smackdown Class of 2003 award to Kurt Angle. Welcome Back Kurt, good luck. Most overlooked: While it seems like I repeat myself for some of these, most of those that apply to the awards are the ones on the actual show. I would say Eddie Guerrero for this award, but lately they’ve been pushing him pretty well. I guess I’ll have to go with Matt Hardy. Simply because he IS the Cruiserweight champ. He DID wrestle on Wrestlemania…but then VANISHED from important matches on TV AND PPV’s over the past few months…kinda sad when it takes split show PPV’s to get your champions on TV eh? Matt Hardy has the charisma, and the appeal to go places, they just have to help give him the push that they don’t seem to want to do. So with that I give Mattitude the Most Overlooked award for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Most Over-rated: It sounds like I’m a broken record but Smackdown is the WORST for pushing big men. The most over-rated will have to go to *ahem*…Undertaker, Big Show, Nathan Jones, Rikishi, Mark Henry, and A-Train. The following applies to any of the above. The Undertaker though, has done some good things for the sport, though as a wrestler and a contender he’s highly over-rated now. The rest are all pushed down our throats because they’re thought to be threats because of their SIZE. If the smaller wrestler can out-do you in all of the skills it takes to be a wrestler, then there is no threat. If you give a guy a gun and he’s 6-feet tall, and you give a midget a gun and he’s a sharpshooter, it doesn’t really matter about size does it? So with that I give Taker, Show, Jones, Rikishi, Henry AND A-Train the award for Most Over-rated in the Smackdown Class of 2003. Most Popular: While Hulk Hogan would be in this category last year during his "final" run until the next final one…he’s done now. I have to say that Kurt Angle is your man for this title, for the reasons I stated above. No person on Smackdown can talk trash and do what Kurt Angle does. When he’s a face he’s adored, and when he’s a heel he’s respected, but hated…that takes talent! So with that talent, I give Kurt Angle the most popular wrestler for the Smackdown Class of 2003. Well, there you have it! Once again, I’m not expecting anyone and everyone to agree, but these are my opinions! Thanks for taking the time to review my SMACKDOWN Class of 2003 awards. You can write your thoughts about them by clicking below and I’ll get back to you asap! I’ll return next week with columns as usual… E-Mail thoughts and comments about the Smackdown! class of 2003 by clicking here! Until then… The People’s Writer, Brendan Campbell *NEW GALLERY* Very Rare Photos from MR. KENNEDY'S WEDDING!
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