Wrestling 101: The Dorm Room - A Disaster in the Making
    Submitted by Mike Matthews on Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 12:43 AM EST

    First off, I would like to apologize to those who did not get a response from me last week. With finals and preparing for graduation, I haven't had much time.

    Yesterday, I woke up at 8am to take a 9 o'clock final, left school around 1pm to arrive in Philly in time for RAW. AS soon as RAW ended I was back on the highway and arrived in State College at about 5am this morning. Needless to say, I'm a bit tired, and my jackass friends decided to surprise me tonight and come up a few days early for graduation. Idiots.

    Anyway, onto the stuff that you might care about.

    NEWS & NOTES

    -I was really upset when I watched Confidential this weekend. I was hoping the WWE would stick to just a simple tribute for Liz, but they overdid it. It's going to get even worse next week. It makes me sad to see a company take advantage of a horrible situation.

    -Rob Van Dam is not main event material. He's a hell of an athlete, but his work on the mic makes me fall asleep. Sorry RVD fans, he's just not at the level he needs to be.

    -How can the WWE possibly leave Goldberg off a PPV? He's the biggest signing in years and already they are wasting him. I just don't get it. Matt Hardy needs to be on that card too. More on this issue later.

    I just want to take a poll. How many of you would be man enough to take a pocket knife and cut your own frickin' arm off? That's one of the most amazing stories I've ever heard.

    Moving on....

    TOPIC #1- RAW IS PHILLY!

    I usually don't do a full RAW recap but since it was in the greatest city on Earth last night, I figured why the hell not.

    The beginning was electrifying. Every part of it had me going crazy in my seat. Austin is at his best right now. I know, I know, you all are sitting there saying "he did the same thing before" but I don't care. As long as it's entertaining, it's alright with me. They did an excellent job of hyping the IC Battle Royal. That's going to be a huge part of RAW so they need to make it look big.

    All night I kept saying I saw Legion of Doom! I hadn't lookd at the internet all weekend so I had no idea they were going to show up. I was loving it....until they started wrestling. What if LOD wrestled Steiner? That would give slow motion a whole new meaning.

    Teddy Long is excellent on the mic but this angle isn't going to work. I wanted to start a "Let's Go White Boys" chant but I noticed a row of African Americans behind me and it made me think twice. A fan should not have to go to a show and have to watch what they say. The objective is to get involved in the match by cheering, chanting, clapping, yelling, and doing whatever. This is a ridiculous angle. Give Teddy a storyline he can actually work with.

    The Hurricane is becoming a star. His promo and then impromptu match with Flair was entertaining and exciting. I know people are upset Triple H came out and gave him a useless Pedigree, and so was I, but I believe The Hurricane and Flair will have a match at Badd Blood. A win for The Hurricane would be huge on PPV rather than a RAW. Flair was priceless at the end of the night when he kept the same pants on.

    By the way, I was very disappointed in the crowd. THey just didn't seem to have the electricity a normal Philly crowd would have. Maybe it was just the people around me, but they rarely got into a match. I was extremely disappointed that most in the crowd didn't have a clue who Classy Freddie Blassie was. That's ashame. That was a pretty good segment I thought. Anytime 3MW is getting buried, I'm all for it. It's time to give Rico a shot. He looked impressive on Heat against Spike Dudley.

    I feel bad for Trish and Victoria. They are trying very hard when they get in the ring but it's just not happening. Trish missed a kick badly and if I can see it from the 200 level, I'm sure everybody on TV saw how bad it was.

    I have nothing to say about the main event. Last week I was hoping Jericho didn't win the IC Battle Royal. Now, I hope he does only because it will be the stronger title over the summer.

    All in all, I had a hell of a time. I usually always do. I thought it was one of the best RAW's in a while, and certainly the best RAW I've seen live in a very long time. The highlight for me was when the guy attempted to shoot some free T-shirts into the crowd, and that stupid gun didn't win. Needless to say, he got booed.

    And the WWE also managed to be tasteless and interupt the national anthem for two La Resistance promos. It wasn't even on the air! Let Lillian sing dammit! I didn't let that ruin the show for me, another good effort for the RAW brand.

    JUDGMENT DAY DISASTER

    And you thought Backlash was bad.

    I can't remember since the days of Diesel vs. Mabel where an event had "disaster" written all over it. The world title match has a chance to make Steiner vs. Triple H look like Benoit vs. Angle. It's not going to be pretty. It doesn't get much better when you look at the Smackdown side of things.

    Lesnar and Show are going to go at it for the third time in under a year. Neither of their matches are going to stick in anyone's memory as a classic. I'm looking at these two title matches and seeing nothing but two brawls going in identical directions. Two men fight and punch. Two men go on outside and brawl. Two men beat on each other for 15 minutes. Match over. I'm hoping the WWE has something up their sleeve that will make this show worthwhile. I doubt it.

    It looks as if the show's saving grace will be the WWE Tag Title match on the Smackdown side, and the RAW brand bringing back the IC Title. Those should be fun to watch but two matches don't equal 35 bucks. Not even close.

    Then, to make it even worse, I read the Smackdown spoilers and all I can say is this is going to be an awful show unless the WWE can pull off a miracle.

    The biggest problem I have is that the WWE finally signed Goldberg, and they are wasting him away. He doesn't even have a match on the card. That's just pathetic. You have Scott Steiner and Test in a match. You have a Fatal 4 Way Women's match, but you don't have any room for Goldberg?!?! The biggest free agent signing in a very long time doesn't get on PPV? Hard to believe. The same can be said about Chris Benoit, John Cena, and Matt Hardy.

    John Cena and Matt Hardy can't develop with five minutes matches every week. They need to be given time and they need to show us what they have.

    Let's not forget that this is the last combined Pay-Per-View until August. Hello! Oppurtunity for a big storyline! Hello! I hope they can come up with some kind of explanation as to why they are doing the hard split PPV's. It's not that difficult to think of an idea. I don't care if it's stupid, it will just be horrible if JR comes on RAW and tells me that the PPV's are now split. Have Bischoff and Steph fight over it. HAve Austin come out and say we'll split the PPV's from now on since you two can't get along. Do something, anything, I don't care.

    I will be able to see Judgment Day on what will probably be my final night in Happy Valley for a long time. I wouldn't even consider ordering the show if I was a paying customer. For the WWE this is two straight PPV's that have generated little interest for any wrestling fan. Coming off what was a pretty successful WrestleMania, it's time for Vince ot look in the mirror and figure out why.

    I for one, hope he figures it out.

    Well folks, I had more but I'm damn tired and I'll just save it for next week. I'll have a degree and be looking for a real job by then.

    What a hell of a game between the Spurs and Lakers. There was no doubt in my mind that Horry's shot was good, judging by his history. I think that pretty much would have killed the Spurs confidence, since they were up 22 at one point. That series is going seven.

    And I'm serious, I want to know if you would cut your arm off.

    E-mails go to WFed22CEO@aol.com and as always, thanks for reading.

    Allen, it's time to send these Pistons to the golf course. Thank You.

    Goodnight Everybody.

    Mike Matthews




    *NEW GALLERY* Must SEE VERY HOT Pix of G4 TV's Olivia Munn! WHOA!!

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