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Submitted by Brendan Campbell on Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 1:56 AM EST
GO LEAFS GO!Hello and welcome to another edition of “I Know What You Did Last Monday.” It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to post a column due to being on placement and finishing up the last month of schooling here. I’ve got tons of things on my plate and have had little to no time for wrestling lately! THOUGH I have been keeping track of things, I just haven’t been pulled in to the shows. Though I’ve been reading up on the backstage things going on, and the whole Triple H scene and it’s really starting to bug me. First I wasn’t really caring about it and I just kind of went with it…I mean, we all KNEW that Triple H was with Stephanie, and we all KNEW that he had backstage power, but now things have just gotten out of hand and it gets worse by the week. Though before I get into that, let me save some people some money! DO NOT SEE “House of 1000 Corpses” I mean that should be self-explanatory…though I still saw it just to see some lame, gory dumb movie…that cost me $13!! My God, I knew it was going to be bad going in but it was STILL WORSE! This is the worst movie I’ve seen in years, and I’ve seen my fair share. Just stay away from this one. You want a sick, twisted movie about a freaky family, rent Chainsaw Massacre. THAT one will leave you wanting to vomit…this one, it just pathetically lame and not gory at all. Bah, horrible. I am aiming to get back into this whole column scenario as I’m hoping to have more time coming up. I’m also aiming to get the readers more involved. I’m trying to think of a few ways, maybe having you guys e-mail me suggestions on what you’d like me to talk about and I’ll have a “Reader’s Rant” section where I’ll give an opinion on something you’d like to hear my thoughts on…just a thought in itself. You can e-mail me questions that you’d like me to answer, or hear my thoughts on, or any topic by Clicking here! Anyway, enough small-talk, let’s get onto bigger and…well, bigger things! Let’s jump on the wagon that EVERYONE has already talked about…let’s talk about Triple H. The Game Isn’t Over…LiterallyTriple H recently said in a WWE interview that he "doesn't care" what Internet fans think...well if he doesn't, then the following won't bother him. Now I don’t know about anyone else, but when I see Triple H matches on TV, not only do I feel like I want to turn the channel, but I also don’t hear anyone else in the arena into them at all! SURE he MAY get a pop when his music hits. Let me tell you this…anyone gets a pop when they’re music hits if they’re at all big. Lots of arenas getting shows now like RAW haven’t had them before, or it’s been years since they have. This is to keep audience levels big and ticket sales up. SO what happens when a wrestler hasn’t been around in a while? They get the entrance pop. The pop that comes when their music first hits. But if you notice, it goes away after a while. That’s Triple H. Nobody cares about his matches. I mean think about it, who’s left? Goldberg? Screw Goldberg. Goldberg can’t carry a feud, and the WWE brought him in as a short-term solution. It’s fine if he’s signed on, whatever. I’ve never been a fan of his, and I don’t think he deserves to go over Rock at Backlash, but Rock is a trooper and will do what he has to do. But this isn’t about Rock or Goldberg. What I meant was Goldberg seems to be the one next in line to fight Triple H…whoop-deedo! Does this really matter? Will buy rates shoot up? No. If Rock/Goldberg doesn’t sell tickets, Triple H VS Goldy SURELY won’t sell tickets. Wrestling is in a downtime, that’s fine. Ratings come out and people STILL look at them shockingly. 3.5 one week, 3.2 the next week…3.4 the week after! OH MY!…What does this matter?!?! Wrestling isn’t going to die out. The number of viewers it’s at now are the core fans. The fans that will stick through the shit (Basically the fans that have held true over the past year or so). The number goes up, then down, up and down but barely changes really. But everyone still talks about it like it’s some big deal. I don’t care if Goldberg didn’t care 1 million extra people to tune in…was it that much of a shock that it wouldn’t change that much? Wrestling is just in a slump…and that’s partially in things to one man. Triple H. His name pops up a lot doesn’t it? Usually I’m pretty lenient when it comes to wrestlers. I know they’re doing their job, and they’re working hard, but Triple H downs so many, and then does what he does best. Win. Let me rephrase: He does what he does because he won’t do it any other way. Triple H VS RVD: This feud sucked. Why? Because RVD wasn’t GREAT on the mic, and he’s a spot machine. A friend of mine says they should still push him main event, but really, just because he gets pops doesn’t mean he’s a great wrestler. BUT he isn’t bad! I was totally into his feud with Triple H and I think he should have won the title to at least have a back and forth thing with him for a while…but that didn’t happen. He was crushed and WHAM, out of the picture by the next night. Great going there Trips, way to put over the top face on RAW at the time…didn’t have the title long enough after having it HANDED too you at this point? Triple H VS Kane: I was pumped for this feud! Kane was TOTALLY over with the crowd! TOTALLY had a sweet gimmick (ignoring all the past things about his character) and was ready for a REAL main event shot…but once again he was thrown into a BULLSHIT (sorry about the vulgarity, but I mean SERIOUSLY) storyline about murder, and screwing dead people…riiiiiiiiiight. And who did the whole thing focus on still? Triple H. So he beats Kane EVEN AFTER humiliating him to the point where Kane should have won….WTF?!!? Triple H VS Shawn Michaels: I’m not getting into this buddy-buddy crap. This whole feud may have been great to watch in some people’s eyes, but it was politics and backstage B.S. that took the belt off of Triple H for a damn month. Feck that. Triple H VS Booker T: Another match where Triple H won…AND WHY?! I have no idea what the point was here. I seriously thought Mr. Tito would have to bite his tongue when he said that Booker T would lose because I thought how the HELL could Triple H win AGAIN…low and behold, he did. Now, Triple H is up to fight Goldberg soon they say. He’s had the belt for about half a year since it was HANDED to him, only losing to his buddy. Oh, and they say this summer they want Triple H VS Kevin Nash…**SHOCKED LOOK**…Seriously?! These two? Aren’t they…….friends?! The ratings on RAW continue to drop and they wonder why…Triple H nags EVERYONE backstage about things, but doesn’t look in the mirror and realize that he’s a shell of his former self. He does EVERYTHING to put himself over. Examples needed? Okay: Example one: On RAW against Booker T a few weeks ago, in some sort of match (I didn’t care enough to remember) Triple H was beating on Booker with Flair, then Michaels came out for the save. He beat on Triple H! TRIPLE H GOES DOWN! GOES DOWN! Knocked down and his ass kicked by Michaels his buddy!! Then Jericho takes Michaels down. So Booker gets up and goes after Triple H again! COMEBACK!?!?!?! No. Triple H nails Booker with one shot after no selling Booker’s comeback, and knocks him flat. Example Two: Rock VS Hurricane. ROCK PUTS OVER HURRICANE! HOW COOL WAS THAT?!?!? Next week, down goes Hurricane to the hands of Triple H…need I say more? Example Three: Hurricane pins Flair in their latest match. All hell breaks loose, and OF COURSE, Hurricane stumbles over after the pin and Triple H pedigrees him, just to PROVE that Hurricane didn’t beat him, and he can take him out THAT easily. I could go on and on, but everyone already knows the story. All I say is that Triple H isn’t bringing the ratings down alone, but he’s doing NOTHING at all to change the pace of the WWE. He should drop the title and start LOSING MATCHES to the up and coming stars. Take a page out of The Rock’s book Hunter…you can’t preach about things you don’t do yourself. I don’t care if he’s banging the bosses daughter, but I’d LOVE to see it if they weren’t together. Backlash PPV: Triple H VS Hurricane for the Intercontinental title (because if Triple H had no backstage pull, it’d still be around.) This may have just been a rant about Triple H, but it’s all fact. I’m not backstage, I don’t know any wrestlers, but ANYONE watching the show can see that Triple H is only in it for himself, no matter what he says backstage. Triple H Interview with the WWERecently on the WWE’s website Triple H talked about various things. While his answers were filled with programmed responses, I’d like to translate Triple H talk in order to give you his TRUE responses to the questions asked by the WWE. Shall we? WWE: What did you think of your match at WrestleMania? Triple H: What do you think? I carried Booker’s ass the whole night. Hell, if it was anyone else then I’d be getting the main event slot of the show. Doesn’t matter though, because with my connections, I still get the top pay cheque for the night, and I also buried another sorry excuse for a wrestler. Maybe he should watch more matches instead of leaving early every night, then maybe he could tie my boots. WWE: How are you feeling these days? Triple H: Come on! Seriously! What are these questions? My leg is fine, I’m F*#king Vince’s daughter, I’m rich, and I do whatever I want with my character, and everyone else’s for that matter! Things are great-ah. WWE: Some fans said they thought the end of your match at WrestleMania made Booker look a little weak -- the way there was a delay between the Pedigree and the pinfall. Can you comment on that? Note: In this answer Triple H said that he doesn’t care what Internet fans think. Triple H: The Internet are the only fans who know some of the actual backstage politics that go on. While they don’t know everything, they’re pretty smart! They’re the only fans who see through my pathetic non-existent skill in the ring, and how I push everyone down. Frankly, they think I suck and have lost all my edge since I went out last year…and I agree with them, but shhhh, we can’t let them know that! And if you let it leak out that I said that, I’ll have you fired! Seriously, one suck on Vince’s c*%k and wham, you’re on the street-ah. WWE: What do you have to say about what Kurt Angle did at WrestleMania, working with a severely injured neck? Triple H: I think it’s great! That way if he gets injured, the higher up I get on the card. It’s that simple. Sure I don’t wish harm on the guy, but seriously, do you think our ratings would go down if he’s gone for a year or so? Hell no, I’m still here, so we’re okay. Actually, I went to Vince with an idea that I’d be the one who takes out Kurt Angle, then beats Brock a minute later, to win BOTH titles, but he said that it’d take away from the Smackdown brand, so I just let it slide…for now. WWE: This is the third year in a row that you've wrestled in front of 50,000-plus at WrestleMania. Does that ever get old? Does the adrenaline ever lessen? Triple H:Come on, I’ll be on Wrestlemania for the next 50 years! I’m engaged to the bosses daughter…you really think my SKILL has gotten me onto the show the past three years? I guess you weren’t there live like that LOP writer Brendan Campbell was. Ask him, he’ll tell you that after Rock VS Hogan people started FILING OUT of the SkyDome well before my main event match was over! WWE: What do you think of Bill Goldberg coming to WWE? Triple H: I think it’s great. I was running out of people to beat. He’ll be a good guy to main event and beat two PPV’s in a row. WWE: What would you say to a younger talent who is frustrated that WWE seems to keep hiring people, as opposed to giving the talent already on the roster an opportunity? Triple H: Isn’t this obvious? They’re whiners. Here’s my advice to them. Find a McMahon, sleep with them, and wham, you’ll be set for the rest of your career. That’s what I did, and look at me now! WWE: We interviewed Goldberg recently, and when we asked him about the incident involving the two of you at a convention a few years ago, he said to ask you about it. So what happened? Triple H: I was at an autograph signing, and Bill came up and started shouting obscenities at me. I ignored him because I knew if we got into anything I’d get my ass kicked. Sure, Bill has NO talent, but still, that’s still two capital letters more talent than I’ve got. WWE: Why did he feel the need to hurl obscenities at you? Triple H: I have no idea really. Maybe it’s because when I was visiting Kevin Nash, my good ol’ buddy, back in WCW, I used to spy on Bill in the showers…he caught me once, I think that’s what it was all about. But I’m not like that anymore…sometimes. WWE: Is this an issue that the two of you are going to have to settle now that you're on the same team? Triple H: Hey, we aren’t going to be buddies or anything! I won’t go drink beer with him or anything. Maybe if he wants to we can shower after a show together, but that’s where I draw the line. He can perm my hair if he wants too. WWE.com: And it's safe to say you are looking forward to working with him in the ring? Triple H: Oh yeah, it’ll be great beating him over and over in the ring again. He doesn’t have a chance…maybe for our feud I’ll have some flex-and-oil competitions in the ring to see who the real man is! WWE: Do you think you're ever going to wrestle Stone Cold Steve Austin again? Triple H:Holy crap, another question. Stone Cold is washed up. Didn’t he say he wanted to put guys over when he came back? What kind of thinking is that?!? Putting guys over, what does that mean? Forget this, I’m out of here. **Triple H leaves** The above was an actual interview on the WWE website, and though the answers have been altered, that’s basically what Triple H meant. Here’s to hoping that Karma catches up with Triple H once more like it did a year and a half or so ago…karma’s a bitch! Well, that does it for another edition of Last Monday! Hope you enjoyed the little bit of venting towards everyone’s favourite hated wrestler, though look for more of the usual writings next week. Though if you want to send in questions for “Reader’s Rant” e-mail me by Clicking here! All you have to do is ask a question, or give a topic that you’d like to know my thoughts on and I’ll give the answers. We’ll see how popular it is and go with it next week! Thanks for reading, any questions, comments or thoughts are welcome. Until next time… The People’s Writer, Brendan Campbell *NEW GALLERY* Vince & Stephanie McMahon Playing with the NEW BABY!!
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