The Wrath of Tito - Random Christmas wrasslin' stuff!
Submitted by Mr. Tito on Wednesday, December 25, 2002 at 4:02 AM EST
Welcome to a late-late edition of the Wrath of Tito. I'm coming to you late X-Mas eve, early X-Mas, as it's honestly been the only peaceful time I could have enjoyed on the internet lately. The chaos of christmas shopping has forced me to work many hours, more than I should, and I'd spend a half an hour, tops, on the net either checking e-mails, fantasy football shite, or arguing with Schwab and Da Ref on the LoP Message Boards. I'm behind on my wrestling shows, as I watched both Smackdown and RAW very casually. I watched Smackdown while wrapping presents, and watched RAW while getting something else ready for Christmas. I guess with the current state of the WWE product, I'm not motivated to pay attention to the shows directly. But I'll give you my brief thoughts on both shows in a little bit.
By the way, before I go any further, congrats to Stanman for winning the official LoP Fantasy Football League. It was a hard fought season, and yours truly finished 3rd. I would have made it to the championship, but Clinton Portis murdered me with his 3-4 touchdown week. That bastard. Anyway, the season was fun, and I was happy with the group of individuals that participated in the league as a whole.
In column news, I'll have TWO columns to finish out the year 2002. For one, I'll whip up the History of 2002 column. I don't care if I have to lose sleep to write that sombitch, I'll get that one up. I really liked how the History of 2001 column turned out, which is in my Archives somewhere. Also, keep an eye out for the famous Tito Awards column, honoring what I felt was the best in wrestling for 2002. Since I'm heading back to school in early January, Christmas is my only freakin' day off. Thanks employers.
In 2003, look for THREE book reviews. Some very very wonderful individuals gave me the Bobby Heenan, Jerry Lawler, and Hulk Hogan books to me for Christmas this year. I say 2003 because I'm right in the middle of a Star Trek novel (Eugenics Wars, part 2, the Rise and Fall of Khan (the life of the bad guy from Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan), and plus, I'll have graduate school starting back here shortly. Amazingly enough, I actually got through 2 books last quarter (Vince McMahon book and Eugenics Wars part 1) and still seemed to do pretty well.
With the books, I'll go in the order from the newest book to the oldest, meaning I'll read Lawler's first, then Hogan's, and then finally, Bobby Heenan's. I'm hoping that the Lawler and Hogan books aren't told through the WWE's eyes, but their eyes. Especially Lawler, who has led an interesting life, especially on the women side of things. Will he discuss how young Stacy Carter was when he first started dating her? Etc.
I'll tell you what, DVDs are rather addicting. Mrs. Tito, my hero, bought me the Beavis and Butthead DVD collection offered by Time/Life. Incredible entertainment there. I really love how you don't have to piss with rewinding or fast-fowarding a tape, and the special features offered on DVDs rule the universe. Also, many DVD players, including mine, can play Video CDs or data CDs filled with MPEG's. The good fellas at the Valley Wrestling Federation burned me several Video CDs of their material, and I was in heaven with how easy and quick it was to play a match, etc. Very nice.
It's my theory that Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, and Bill Goldberg are definitely coming into the WWE by Wrestlemania. Why? The potential for one more massive payday through stacking the Wrestlemania card with starpower of the past is too much for any of those guys to pass up. Goldberg is acting funny, as if he's hiding the fact that he may have signed a part-time deal with the WWE. Hulk Hogan, on the other hand, keeps saying that he is just in talks with Vince to come back, and that his other next option is to feud with Bill Goldberg in Japan. If Goldberg is signed with the WWE, then where would Hogan go? I don't believe Steve Austin wants to end his career knowing that his final Wrestlemania match was against drunkin' Scott Hall. I wouldn't want that either. Austin better beware of getting screwed in a match by Vince McMahon, though.
Alright, what about this Smackdown show from last Thursday? Decent bout with Kidman vs. Eddie Guerrero. Typical, solid Nitro midcarder match. Eddie should be pushed as a main heel instead of fat, lazy slobs like the Big Show or A-Train (you get it? Albert.... TRAIN?!?). Isn't it nice how John Cena can get a victory over a tag wrestler like Chuck Palumbo, but heaven forbid he ever beat someone as great and almighty as Rikishi. But hey, B2 is allowed to beat Rikishi. *YAWN* at the Torrie/Al/Dawn Marie stuff. Oh boy, another wedding on WWE television coming up. Get some new ideas, please, and you'll see that ratings COULD improve. Many shows on television have died due to recycling ideas.
WWE seems to be going back to the old squash matches, although they use participants in the Cruiserweight division or former WCW/ECW wrestlers to serve this purpose. Shannon Moore jobbed heavily to Brock Lesnar. And then, we have the new team created of Paul Heyman, Kurt Angle, and the Big Show. While I'd like to see an effective stable used, Kurt Angle's star is being used to help the Big Show look relatively good. That's sad. For as much money that the Big Show earns every year, he should be drawing people on his own and performing well, too. I do like the idea of doing this stable to establish Kurt Angle as the heel for the future Lesnar vs. Angle showdown. We'll see how this works out before I give an early opinion that I'll regret saying later.
I'm glad that Nunzio or Little Guido still sports the Italian tights. Horrible tag match with DeMott/Crash versus Nunzio/Noble. Tough Enough or no Tough Enough, DeMott is such a boring worker out there and pushing him as a dominant wrestler holds everything and everyone down. It's strange to see the Cat used as a backstage interviewer. What a wasted talent there. Get him wrestling and get his ass on the mic in the ring. BRAVO to Edge beating A-Train. Could this be a sign that the WWE is listening to their fans?!? I doubt it, but at least Edge can get the hell away from the bald sasquatch.
Again, I liked Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle, but don't beat the dead horse with these two. They have fought too much that the novelty of 2 of the best technical wrestlers is wearing thin. Oh well, at least it wasn't 2 announcers against William Regal and Lance Storm, like what was on RAW's main event. Ugh.
Monday Night RAW had a very good tag match, while the rest of the show was in its usual toilet. Gotta love how 3 Minute Warning was beat easily again by Rob Van Dam and Kane. Sure, RVD and Kane have great singles success, but why squash a tag team that's very young and could be stars in the WWE for the future? That's what they get for accidentally hurting Pat Patterson. Gotta love the backstage politics of the WWE. I don't care for Test, still, nor do I care for D'Lo's racial angle. GET NEW MATERIAL!!!!!!!! At least D'Lo is getting on television now, RAW that is.
Glad to see that the WWE finally cleared up the Royal Rumble happenings. The winner of the Rumble gets a title shot at Wrestlemania at their brand's respectful title. I'm assuming that No Way Out will feature a new special match to determine a #1 contender of the other brand. Get Chris Nowinski some more in-ring training, and pronto! Batista could use some more training while we are at it, especially in character development. Women's division will never work, and a prime example was the lame 6 women match that they tried. The effort is there, but the care of the WWE crowd isn't.
Nice tag match between Booker T/Goldust versus Chris Jericho/Christian. I really liked that, and the WWE giving it a long time to develop was even nicer. THIS is what I want to see on RAW. I do fear a Booker T/Goldust vs. Boring Duo (Storm and Regal) coming on very soon. D'oh! You know what's funny about Hungry Hippos? They used to be a WWF sponsor, for YEARS! Chutes and Ladders was a personal favorite of mine. Gotta love RVD's horrible acting. And he was in HBO movies? For a great laugh over the Triple H and Scott Steiner arm wrestling segment, CLICK HERE and read Scott Keith's commentary on it. CLASSIC stuff there, which made me nearly spit out my soda reading it. The main event between JR/Lawler vs. Storm/Regal was an embarrassment of a main event. Can you say "throwaway show"??? It looked it.
It seems very obvious to me that when the best workers of each show are given long periods of time for their matches, they always seem to be the biggest brightspots of the show. Take Booker T/Goldust vs. Jericho/Christian. Easily the most watchable thing on the show. Why? Because it had guys who can still WRESTLE here in 2002, not ones who can barely move because they are too big on muscle or have bad quad injuries. OR better yet, guys over 6 foot 6 who are over 40 and have injuries that will never heal. It's time to realize, coming up here in 2003, that the fanbase has been dwindling, meaning that the right guys aren't being pushed to the top, nor are the best workers allowed to shine in a match, even if it's a midcard match.
I didn't catch Tough Enough 3 because I screwed up when setting the timer. Oh well.
I just want to wish everyone reading this column a Happy Holidays for this season. I'm very grateful for the readers I've gained over the years, and I wish everyone the best for the end of this year and for 2003 as well. Thanks for reading, as always.
Check out the Valley Wrestling Federation and Willygoat Xtreme Wrestling. Two great backyard feds.
WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@I'll be back sometime soon.
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.
Mr. Tito © 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net/WrestlingHeadlines.com
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