WWE Smackdown Results 7-25-02
Submitted by Dr. Tom on Thursday, July 25, 2002 at 11:33 PM EST



WWE SMACKDOWN! 07/25/02

For those of you reading this over at Lords of Pain,
allow me to wish you a Hitchcockian good evening. I'm
Dr. Tom, and I do this gig, plus a weekly news update
and some pop culture stuff, over at www.thesmartmarks.com.
I guess I'll be doing this here as long as you
and the powers that be will put up with me. Any
feedback you have for me can be sent right here.
Good and bad comments are accepted, and all I ask is that
you don't write like a simian.

On with the show . . .

Stephanie McMahon monopolizes the rather trippy
opening video package, a la her father, and welcomes us
to her first official episode of Smackdown! by
announcing several matches.

On tape from Indianapolis, this is WWE Smackdown for
7/25/02. Your hosts are Michael Cole and
Taz(z). They're seated at ringside, by the way,
not in the Nitro position.

Hey, a match to start the show? I love you, Stephanie.

Kurt Angle vs Mark Henry. Ugh, a Mark Henry
match to start the show? OK, now I just like you a
little, Stephanie. Henry gets the canned heat
treatment again this week. I bet they don't mention
the time, over a year ago, that Angle was mocking Henry
for being an Olympic scrub. Henry tosses Angle around.
Kurt tries a German, but Henry blocks it by being TOO
FAT. Henry tosses Angle around some more, until Kurt
finally gets a back suplex in, for 2. Henry powerslams
and avalanches him, and then Brock Lesnarberg
runs in to attack Henry (DQ, 2:57). Damn, that was a
350-pound F5. The match was basically Angle getting
tossed around like a ragdoll, which only goes so far.
DUD

Backstage, Angle catches up to Brock. Angle gets all
uppity, until Brock reminds him he blew his chance for
the title, and is no longer the #1 guy on Smackdown.
If Lesnar's first feud after Summerslam is with Angle,
I'm down with that.

After the break, Yummy Stacy sucks up to
Stephanie to get herself a job as an assistant. Well,
if Stacy is going to be "servicing" Stephanie, I'm
buying a big-screen TV. Stacy's first duty is to
answer the door, and receive a flower delivery from
Easy Eric Bischoff, which Steph is none too
happy to receive.

Reverend D'Von (with Former Deacon Batista) vs The
Big Valbowski (with Hardcore Holly). Val pounds on
D'von and drops the knee for 2. He does a crossbody,
sending himself and D'Von out, and the announcers sell
Val landing on his neck. Back in, D'Von pounds the
neck and does a rolling necksnap for 2. He slams Val,
but like his half-brother, can't hit a move from the
2nd rope, missing an elbowdrop. Val clotheslines D'Von
and hits a fisherman's suplex. Batista pulls D'Von out
at 2, so Holly beats him up at ringside while Val hits
the Blue Thunder bomb for the pin at 3:06. After the
bell, WWE's particular brand of egalitarianism is again
evident, as Batista destroys the faces to get his heat
back. Perfectly acceptable stuff here for a
three-minute match. 3/10

Meanwhile, Stacy bosses some security guards around.
She spies Edge heading for the door, panics, and
calls Stephanie.

After the break, Lance Storm and
Christian insult Americans in preparation for
their defense against The Rock and Hollywood
Hulk Hogan later.

Meanwhile, the security chaps keep Edge from leaving
until Stephanie arrives. Edge pledges his loyalty to
Smackdown and wants to go to the production truck.
Stephanie gets the ironic line of the night with, "Why
are YOU going to the production truck?" I really hate
to sound like a smarky smark here, but uh, Steph, why's
your boyfriend going to production meetings and giving
speeches backstage? Anyway, Edge has a Y2J-esque timer
on the screen, counting down the minutes until his cage
match with The Internet Hates Jericho.

Rikishi vs Aaaahlbert. We cut to the parking
garage, since this is a filler match anyway, where
Mark Loyd With One L tries to get a word with
Angle, but gets blown off. Albert starts with a
bicycle kick, then pounds the living hell out of
Rikishi in the corner. Damn, he needs to switch to
decaf. Albert avalanches Rikishi and gets 2 off a
second-rope splash. He misses another Avalanche,
allowing Rikishi to hit a DDT and Samoan Drop. Fatass
splash sets up the Stinkface, and the Banzai Drop
finishes Albert at 2:45. Not completely unwatchable,
but if you stepped away to defrost your refrigerator,
you didn't miss anything. 1/10

Meanwhile, Loyd reports Angle's conversation with
"Eric" to Stephanie, who apparently has the entire
roster on her cell phone's speed dialer. Well, at
least she's thorough.

Tag Team Title Match: Lance Storm and Christian
(with Test) vs Hollywood Hulk Hogan and The Rock.
Storm and Hogan start, to a nice "USA!" chant. Hogan
overpowers the puny Canadian and poses. Storm rakes
the eyes and clotheslines Hogan. Hogan does his own
clothesline, and pinballs Storm with The Rock. Rock
in, and he suplexes Storm for 2. Storm jawbreakers
Rock, and Christian comes in for some heel
double-teaming in the corner. Rock clotheslines
Christian and does the belly-to-belly throw. Christian
heel kicks Rock for 2, and Storm comes in to choke him
out in the ropes. Rock hits the spinebuster, but Test
pulls the top rope down on the People's Elbow, and Rock
goes crashing into the announce table. Storm covers
for 2 back in the ring. Christian chokes Rock, but
walks into a neckbreaker. Test yanks Rock out and
drops him on the announce table. Hogan sure distracts
the ref while his partner gets pounded a lot. Storm
pounds Rock and superkicks him, but Hogan saves. Test
gets Hogan to chase him, leading Rock to lunge for a
tag that an empty corner simply can't make. Rock DDTs
Storm and there's the hot tag to Hogan. They could
have built up more suspense there, I think. Christian
is in as well, but Hogan is on a house-cleaning
mission. Noggin knocker, but the heels recover enough
to double suplex Hogan. Rock hits the Rock Bottom on
Storm while Christian gives Hogan the Unprettier for 2.
Hulk up, and the usual sequence follows, but Brock
breaks up the pin at 9:11. Lesnar hoists Hogan into
the F5, dispelling the notion that he can only take a
back suplex bump. Well, if killing Hogan doesn't get
him over, nothing will. The match was going along quite
nicely until the DQ ending. I like them trying to get
Lesnar over right away, and continue his games with The
Rock, but can't he destroy people backstage, or
something? Two run-in DQ finishes is a little
reminiscent of Crash TV for me. 5/10

After the break, Brock demonstrates his ruthless
aggression by stealing Hogan's limo.

Meanwhile, John Cena compares Test to a
woodchuck, to the rodent's advantage. Test doesn't
find Cena's routine funny, and delivers a fierce
bitch-slap.

Meanwhile, Stephanie wants to make sure Jericho isn't
jumping ship.

Chavo Guerrero vs Rey Mysterio. What's with the
weird contacts for Rey? Chavo takes Rey down and
monkey flips him. Rey gets 2 off a reverse victory
roll and ranas Chavo. Chavo hits a release German,
flipping Rey over so that he lands on his midsection.
He drops Rey on the top rope and works over the ribs in
the corner. Abdominal stretch, but Rey gets out.
Chavo dropkicks Rey for 2, and send him to the outside
by sliding him under the bottom rope so that he lands
on his ribs. I like the psychology here. Back in,
Chavo hits an exploding gutbuster for 2. Rey dropkicks
him out and nails a corkscrew plancha. Back in, Rey
splashes Chavo, but gets kneed in the gut. Chavo hits
a Gorry Bomb (!) for 2, but Rey drop toeholds him into
the second rope. That sets up the 619, and Rey
finishes Chavo with a springboard hurricanrana at 5:53.
It's good to see the cruisers get six minutes this
week. Chavo's psychology combined with Rey's mad lucha
style made for a very good match. 7/10

After the break, Test tosses Rey into a metal door.
What did the Canadians ever have against the Mexicans?
Damn, they just hate the rest of North America. Must
be all the flannel.

Test vs John Cena. Test starts with a lot of
stomping and pounds Cena in the corner. Cena dropkicks
him, but Test does a corner clothesline. He slams Cena
but misses the elbowdrop. Cena DDTs Test as a
"Woodchuck" chant gets going. Cena hits a flying
jalapeno and Stinger splash. Cena slips out of the
Meltdown and hits a variation of the Blue Thunder bomb
for 2. Test gets the Meltdown on the second try, for
2. He goes for a powerbomb, but Cena rolls thru it for
the win at 3:21. Not to be outdone, Test delivers the
big boot of FACE CRUSHING~! after the bell. Bah, I'm
really tiring of that
get-your-heat-back-right-after-the-bell crap. Brief
match, but it was entertaining enough. 3/10

Meanwhile, Stephanie leaves Angle another voice mail.

Main Event, Cage Match: Edge vs The Internet Hates
Jericho. Commercial break right after they get in
the cage, and we come back with the match already
underway. Edge flapjacks Jericho and clotheslines him.
Jericho turns an Irish whip to the corner into an
escape try, but Edge stops him. Jericho gets caught in
the ropes and takes a spear, but tosses Edge into the
cage on a second try. Edge goes into the cage twice
more and blades. Jericho rakes his face over the cage.
Edge gets chokes on the second rope, but somehow
overcomes the awesome power of the arrogant cover.
Jericho gets a drop sleeper for 2 and ties Edge in the
ropes so he can pound away on him. Edge throws Jericho
into the cage and faceplants him for 2. He misses a
dropkick, and Jericho goes for a quick Lionsault, but
hits the knees. Edge-O-Matic gets 2, and Edge climbs.
Jericho stops him and tries a superplex, but Edge turns
it into an inverted powerbomb. It gets 2. He goes for
the Impaler, but Jericho counters into a Walls attmept,
and ends up catapulting Edge into the cage. He gets a
chair and pastes Edge with it, but only gets 2. Edge
ducks another chairshot and spears Jericho for 2. He
tries to climb out, but Jericho stops him with a
lowblow and comes down with a top-rope bulldog. He
does one of those patented WWE Cage Match Slow Climbs,
and Edge stops him, after pausing to read War And
Peace. Edge comes down with a top-rope electric
chair drop, leaving both men down. Edge goes for the
climb, Jericho goes for the door, and Edge hits the
floor first to pick up the win at about 13:00. Storm,
Christian, and Test jump Edge after the bell and work
him over in the cage. Cena comes in, and is quickly
overwhelmed. Rey comes back out and climbs the cage,
coming down tith a crossbody on Storm, Jericho, and
Christian. The heels are soon beaten into retreat.
The ending was a little anticlimactic, but this was a
very solid main event. 7/10

After the match, Stacy tells Stephanie that Bischoff
is in the parking lot, so she dashes out to confront
him. He gloats that Smackdown's loss is Raw's gain,
but who's in that limo with Easy E? It's not Angle, as
he walks up behind Steph and explains that he was
talking to his brother Eric. We're left with the
cliffhanger ending as to who was in the limo with
Bischoff. Tune in Monday, different Bat-time,
different Bat-channel!

Doing The Math: Two very good matches and the
absence of any extended promos combine to make me
happy. I like the tension they're building between the
shows, finally trying to make them seem separate and
competitive. It's not cool that they trumped the main
event to push that aspect, but the show was solid
overall, so I'll forgive them. It was a strong week of
free TV for WWE, and this show should piggy-back the
Raw ratings increase nicely. We'll see if they can put
out this kind of quality consistently, but they're off
to a good start so far, and that's encouraging to see.
7/10

Dr. Tom
http://www.cynicsrule.com
TheSmartMarks.com








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