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Submitted by The Valleyboy on Saturday, July 20, 2002 at 1:28 AM EST
God help me, I think that the NWA-TNA might actually make a go of it. I’m not exactly sure how they are doing in terms of buyrates, but with Jerry Jarrett’s thriftiness, they surely won’t be going bankrupt for a while. After putting Real Action Wrestling over in my column, a reader suggested that I check out Main Stream Wrestling, which is also based in Nova Scotia. I certainly would if I could find out when they are ever going to do a show again in the Annapolis Valley. I was a little surprised to see that they actually had Taylor from Tough Enough on their tour last year. That girl really will take any booking she can get, if she’s willing to come to Nova Scotia. I kid though. I was pleasantly surprised to see that a couple of the current R.A.W. wrestlers are graduates of MSW’s training camp (namely Remington Steen whom I was particularly impressed with). In any event, I look forward to continuing on getting my wrestling fix for the next while as the valley is subject to more Indy shows. Enough chit-chat, let’s get to the column… Selective Memory – How Valleyboy Became A Wrestling Fan Since this is my 25th column, I thought that I might try something just a little bit different for the main section. Heck, it’s my column so I have creative license. This week, I thought I might give everyone a little insight into how exactly I became a wrestling fan to begin with. My story may be similar to many of your own stories but bare with me as I regale you with my sordid tale. I first got introduced to professional wrestling at a very early age. I was about 6 or 7 years old (I’m 26 years old now) when I first recall seeing an episode of Grand Prix Wrestling on a Saturday afternoon. At this tender age, the biggest priorities on my mind were playing in the gravel pit and idolizing my father. My father was a relatively short guy standing at about 5’ 9” or 5’ 10”, but to me he was a giant and had garnered both my fear and my admiration. He had lived his life as a workaholic. He dropped out of school with he was 17 years old to work in the woods as a lumberjack. After several years of that, he then switched to working as a bodyman for a local car dealership. Despite working with cars for a majority of his life, his true calling was in the woods. He seemed to be most comfortable in those surroundings, as I look back. Needless to say, his work in the woods had enabled him to have an impressive physique for a man his age. Being a child only further embellished my own perspective of his appearance and feats of strength. When I was a little kid, I could think of nothing better than to grow up to be like my father. After a hard morning of chopping wood, Dad settled down in front of the television and turned it to Grand Prix Wrestling. Wanting to imitate my father in anyway possible, I hunkered down beside him to see what it was that he was watching. Grand Prix Wrestling was the Maritimes answer to professional wrestling. Territorial promotions were still the norm, for the most part, and this was Eastern Canada’s own little piece of the pie. They would tour Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island, and New Brunswick to tape their shows to be broadcast on our local stations. The promotion incidentally managed to acquire a lot of talent from Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling, which operated on the west coast of Canada. In any case, when I first watched this, I had no real understanding of what I was seeing on the television screen. To me, it basically looked like a bunch of guys, with similar builds to my Dad, who were beating the hell out of eachother. I looked at my Dad with a question mark on my face at times which could only be compared to a child’s look when he sees some schmuck dressed up as Santa Claus in the mall… it looks real, but I can’t really be sure. My father never informed me of wrestling’s cooperative nature when I first started watching. I think that he wanted to enjoy seeing my face as I watched one wrestler slam another into the mat as my eyes would grow larger with each punch and kick. Before this, the most violence I had ever seen was on a Bugs Bunny cartoon (which incidentally tends to carry more violence with it than what I was watching at that age). It wasn’t until I was about 8 years old when my father finally let me in on the “real” story about wrestling. In a way, it kind of diminished my enjoyment of the show. What was the point of them fighting, if they aren’t really fighting? I would ask myself this a lot as I would watch the shows with my father. Then I began to realize that my father still enjoyed watching it, so why couldn’t I? From there, I began to have an even greater appreciation for professional wrestling. Often times, I would simply put the “realness” of wrestling in the back of mind or what has come to be known as “suspending reality”. I was just too captivated by the show to remind myself that these men were most likely good friends behind the curtains. Me and my father would make a ritual of it, to sit together every Saturday afternoon and watch the likes of Leo Burke, The Beast, Killer Karl Kroop, The Cuban Assassin, The Dynamite Kid, Dino Bravo, Harley Race, Bulldog Bob Brown, “Champagne” Jerry Morrow, Big Stephen Pettipau, “No Class” Bobby Bass, and other men battle it out on the television screen. My father’s favorite wrestler seemed to be Killer Karl Kroop since he would often grab me with the stomach claw until I would giggle for mercy. My favorite wrestler was Leo Burke though. Leo Burke to me, was what “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair or Ricky Steamboat was to other kids… the best wrestler on the planet. Maybe the contributing factor was that Burke and my father had such similar physiques (and male-pattern baldness). Whatever it was, I always looked forward to seeing Grand Prix every Saturday and see Leo Burke try to take it to whoever his nemesis was at the time. Now that I’m all grown up, I look back at those moments with a great fondness and appreciation. As I got older, my father and I didn’t see eye to eye on many things, but wrestling was something that we had to share with eachother. Leo Burke should thank his lucky stars that he never got in the ring with my Dad. He would have had the match of a lifetime. I should know. I was never able to pin the ol’ bastard. As much as I tried, my father always told me that I would never be able to take him until he was 60. Unfortunately, he passed away when he was 56, so I guess he was right. Besides, any 56 year old man that can press a 6’, 230 lb. high-school grad over his head has to have had some raw potential to have made it in professional wrestling (atleast in my book anyway). You might argue that it wasn’t wrestling that got me into wrestling, it was my father. That’s something that I will always be grateful for. Natural Selection – It’s Only Natural (Asset or Liability) I thought that since Eric Bischoff, the former president of WCW, is now working for the WWE that I would take a look at the former vice-president of WCW, Tony Shiavone. If anyone remembers this guy, you probably remember that he was Bischoff’s right hand man during the hey-day of WCW. Now that WCW no longer exists, there is still the possibility that he could return to employment within the ranks of the WWE. Some may not recall, but Tony Shiavone actually worked for the WWE in the past. It was the early 90’s, back when they still had the jobber television tapings and Tony was part of the commentating team along with Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan for a short period of time. His tenure with the promotion was rather short and very uneventful. For the entirety of my recollection, I cannot think of a time when Shiavone’s commentating skills were anything more than average. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he didn’t have many reputable people feeding him lines through his headset, like today’s commentator’s do. In any event, he surely would have picked up some kind of improvisational talent when it came to calling a match. Alas, Tony was the epitome of mediocrity when it came to wrestling commentary. Quite simply, Tony would be a disappointment with a WWE headset. He may have some unsung talent for backstage affairs, but I have no way to tell that, so I can only judge what I see with my own eyes and what I’ve seen from him is bad. WWE would be wise to never give him a broadcast position because he would definitely, in my opinion, be a liability. The Memory Glands Award – “Sports-Entertainment” Segment of the Week There have been some surprises for me this past year when it comes to watching the WWE. The thing is that even though they were surprises, there was a small thought in the back of my mind that it might happen. If you had told me at any point in time that Eric Bischoff would appear on WWE television, I would have probably laughed in your face. Heck, I was surprised as hell when I had read that Vince Russo was coming back to the WWE (only to watch him leave again for the NWA). It would be an understatement to say that Eazy E stole the show on Raw, this past Monday night. While I am not a particular fan of Eric Bischoff’s work, nor some of his business tactics, those statements could be put towards Vince MacMahon as well. The bottom-line is that Eric surprised the hell out of me and that was the whole idea of his introduction… to surprise the hell out of people. I did find his in-ring promo to be a little long, but that was forgivable considering how long it had been since he was on television and how much he had to get his character established with the WWE fans. Kudos to Eric Bischoff for dropping my jaw, but perhaps an even bigger kudos for Vince MacMahon for being able to pull off this little coup. Minimal Subliminals – Quick Rants & Smartass Comments - Eric Bischoff is back in black… Everything is going dark now, that’s for sure. - The nWo has been proclaimed dead. I thought it was only supposed to take two years before you could declare something legally dead. - Am I the only one who finds it ironic that Paul Wight is still being referred to as The Big Show?? - When Lesnar gave The Undertaker the F5, it truly did look like a natural disaster. - Sabu was the big surprise at NWA-TNA’s last PPV. Surprise! I don’t care! - Simon Diamond is playing minor league baseball now. Now he exceeds Sid Eudy in two sports. - Stephanie MacMahon is the Smackdown GM. A swing and miss! - Memo to Satan: It may be getting time for you to call in your debt with Vince MacMahon. Forgotten Clashes – A Walk Down Memory Lane No Forgotten Clashes this week. I’ve actually grown a little weary of doing this section myself. Perhaps there are some others out there that would like to contribute to this section. If you are at all interested in putting in your two cents within my column for this section, let me know. It might become a weekly thing to have a reader give his/her “Forgotten Clash” to remind everyone else what they might be missing out on. Last ReCall And that’s my column for this week. I’d certainly appreciate any feedback that you could give. I was actually surprised that I had very little response from people over the results of the Memmy Awards. I guess the results pretty much spoke for themselves, or noone really cared to give their two cents on what my choices were. Ah well, no big deal. I shall return with another column next weekend, so until then I shall leave you with my weekly ritual of handing out words of wisdom to help you through your week. “When picking up girls; I take my weight and divided it by two and if she weights around that or less I hit on her.” – Lincoln “Remington” Steen (from his Steentopia Guide/Rulebook) Valleyboy: E-Mail: valleyboy_ca@hotmail.com AIM: Valleyboy Canada
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