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Submitted by The Valleyboy on Saturday, June 22, 2002 at 3:19 PM EST
Wood ticks. What is there purpose in life? Every living thing on this planet has some place in nature. Everything helps to balance everything else out. But what about ticks? They’re useless little parasites. I hate them with a passion. Why am I mentioning this? Because I was out camping again with some friends this past weekend and we managed to find a piece of wilderness that was absolutely infested with them. I swear after I got home, I found a dozen on me. If there is one creature that I would wish to be extinct, it would be the ticks. Burn ‘em all, I say. Anyway, I feel better for having gotten that off my chest. Other than that, my week has been great. The weather is beautiful. Party atmosphere is in full effect. All the ladies are back from college for the summer. It’s just the best right now. I just wish I could say the same about the state of professional wrestling in terms of mainstream access. This time of year just seems to serve as a pox on WWE and other promotions in this season. Enough chit-chat, let’s get to the column… Selective Memory – Our Lady Peace There are some people who do not like wrestling, but they have an educated opinion and project that opinion in a respectful manner. Then there are others are completely ignorant to their surroundings and never really give an effort to understand something that they don’t approve of at first glance. Raine Maida, lead singer of Our Lady Peace, fits into that latter description. Maida recently spoke out against the WWE’s use of their contribution to the new Forceable Entry CD. Our Lady Peace was approached 14-15 months ago to do a song for one of the WWE Superstars. Only Jeremy Taggart, the band’s drummer, had a clue as to what the WWE was about and suggested Chris Benoit since he was Canadian and is “really cool”. After some collaboration with Benoit and the WWE, they came out with the song, “Whatever”. Since the release of the album, Maida has been quoted as saying in an interview with ChartAttack.com, “It’s not at the top of the list of things that we should have done.” He also said, “We did that song about 14 or 15 months ago and then we hadn’t heard anything about it. Suddenly, it’s out on this thing called Forceable Entry, which just makes me want to puke.” Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t sign contracts to do anything unless I’ve read the contract and made damned sure I know what it is that I’m getting myself into. Maida and the rest of the band should have known better than to sign up for something that had the potential to bite them in the ass. This is especially true when you take into consideration that Maida is supposed to be a rather intelligent individual who looks before he leaps. Anyone who has such progressive views towards politics and culture, like he does, should know better than to blindly sign on to do something and then whine and bitch about it after the fact. The main thing that he doesn’t approve of is the inference towards a sexual term such as Forceable Entry. However, it is not implied as a sexual comment, but rather he inferred it as that. When I first heard the title of the CD, I inferred it as a nudge towards breaking and entering rather than sexual assault. That’s just me though. As near as I can tell, Maida is condemning the WWE on something that they have no control over and that’s Maida’s own personal perception of their product. How can you defend yourself against that? Perhaps if Raine Maida had done just a little bit of research into the product that he was contributing to, he might have seen that the overall look of the WWE’s product has a strong undertone of violence and sexuality. Some aspects of WWE are more blatant than others when it comes to that stuff, but they don’t hide it or over-protect themselves with it. If Maida has such a strong position on his own views of what’s right and wrong, he should have read the fine print and actually taken the time to familiarize himself with the WWE before he and his band jumped in and handed a song over to them. In my opinion, Raine Maida has put himself over as a complete moron and introduced himself to wrestling fans as a whining bitch whose attitude rivals that of Steve Austin when it comes to not liking something that they are involved in after they have already signed on to do it. I was never a big fan of Our Lady Peace before and I am even less of a fan now. I was never one for respecting Maida’s insistence on using his mild celebrity status to push his own opinion, and I respect him even less now for his little bitch-fest with Chart Attack. My advice? Don’t get involved with something unless you are willing to accept the outcome. That isn’t that complicated is it? Natural Selection – It’s Only Natural (Asset or Liability) With the aftermath of Tough Enough 2 now behind us, I thought that I would take a look at the two gentlemen who did not live up to their potential on the show, to see if they might actually have proved to be an asset or a liability. Granted that I only have the season episodes of Tough Enough 2 to go on as reference, but I still feel like making a judgment call. Firstly, I’d like to take a look at Jake. Of the final four it seemed that most people thought that this guy was a lock. That even includes myself since I thought that his size and “look” would ensure him a development contract. The WWE saw his flaws outweighed his virtues though. Jake had the physique, the style, and the attitude. Those are his good points, but they are also his bad points. While he had a chiseled physique, he was nothing special in that regard. He never really stood out from the pack (especially when he stood next to Aaron and Hawk). His style, while a bit flamboyant, was too reserved in the ring. Even rookies can start to look comfortable in the ring. Jake always looked like he was dancing on eggshells. Then there was his attitude. He had a bunch to spare. Too much though. It often got him in trouble as well. If you will recall, he seemed all too flipid about the speeding ticket that he received while out partying with the gang. In my estimation, this may have been the key factor that kept him from getting his development contract. Had he been signed, chances are that his behavior may have even worsened. Many of the WWE boys like to party in the off hours and I’m sure that Jake would sooner or later find himself in hot water, one way or the other. His behavior on Confidential didn’t exactly win him over either. Burning bridges isn’t always a good idea. Especially when you’re not that good a swimmer. I’d have to say that Jake would be a definite liability. Now we come to Kenny. He was probably the most diverse in the ring of the entire bunch. He had speed, agility, and an attitude that fit right into the WWE’s atmosphere. The thing that would have probably held back Kenny the most was his behavior outside of the ring. Like Jake, he was a bit of a partier. Not that partying is a bad thing. Everyone needs an outlet. The thing is though, when you are supposed to be giving a 100% effort towards getting a WWE contract, philandering around with the local pelt isn’t supposed to be your main focus. In the big picture though, this is a minor thing. Something that could be readily dealt with over time and maturity. As far as I can see, Kenny really did deserve a contract. Did he deserve on over Jackie or Linda? That’s not really for me to say, but I do know that a talented man like him could easily become an asset to the WWE’s fledgling cruiserweight division. The Memory Glands Award – “Sports-Entertainment” Segment of the Week Well, I have over a month’s worth of awards to dish out so I better get right down to business… May 19th – May 25th Kudos go out to Angle for really capturing the comedic potential of his hair-loss. Kurt Angle gave a stirring speech of how his hair miraculously grew back and unveiled that now classic wig with the headgear. The thing that really made this segment stand out for this week though was the actual good acting that was done on Maven’s part when he confronted Angle on being bald. Until that segment, Maven’s delivery was equal to that of Test in that he had no charisma to exude over the mic. I guess the “bald” issue gave Maven some motivation to stay in the limelight and be noticed for a little longer. Kudos to both men for not stinking up and easily volatile segment. May 26th – June 1st Without a doubt, the Memmy goes to Chris Benoit for his return in his hometown. Eddie Guererro and Ric Flair also get nods for their work in getting the segment over even more. Sure this was a setup for a swerve for Benoit to turn on Austin, but this opening segment to get the face pop on Benoit big-time was very well done. I think what made this segment so good was the eventual outcome of the whole show. Of anything that the WWE has done in weeks past, this is one of the best swerves that they’ve done. June 2nd – June 8th Out of everything that happened during this week, the thing that really stood out for me was the little segment between Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy on Raw. These two men have seen their characters become very complacent within the ranks of the WWE. Jeff was correct in stating that they weren’t extreme and that it was basically routine. With this segment, Jeff showed a desire to break free and find something that the Hardy Boyz had been missing… spontaneity. It didn’t hurt that it was some of the best acting work from these men as well. That might be attributed to the laid back nature of the segment which allowed them to not have to try so hard to get their point across. Kudos to both men for not stinking up the segment. June 9th – June 15th This past week of WWE broadcasts had some very tumultuous times. Austin’s abandonment of the WWE left them in a bit of a lurch and forced them to completely rethink the direction of their storylines. One storyline that was left intact though was the program involving HHH and The Undertaker. Their segment surrounding the contract signing, while good, wasn’t the scene-stealer though. It was the aftermath of HHH’s beat down. Triple H destroyed security, the announcer’s table, monitors, Billy, and a television camera to top it all off. Even though that particular segment of HHH holding the show hostage was only a lead in to have a tag match main event, it did add some considerable heat to their feud. If the WWE had thought of this stuff leading into Backlash, they might not have had to change their main event so drastically to adhere to fan interest. June 16th – June 22nd The Rock is back and gave one of his best promos of this year. The whole night Vince was teasing a possible return of Austin to Raw. While I wasn’t buying into it at all and found it a little silly that they would turn it into a storyline, I was curious as to who was actually going to show up. For a short time, I was nervous that Bill Goldberg might walk down the ramp, which would just be death to the locker room, I’m sure. Instead we were treated to a reaffirmation of the Rock’s loyalty to the corporation that helped build him into the celebrity that he is today. While Rock’s path to the WWE was a little less bumpy than most, he is still a well-respected individual for his dedication and loyalty to a company that saw the potential in him. While I am not a big Rock fan, myself, I found his words very poignant and very relevant to today’s state of sports-entertainment. Kudos to the Rock for picking up the ball that Austin dropped. Minimal Subliminals – Quick Rants & Smartass Comments - Linda Miles wrestled her first televised match one week after winning TE2. Nidia? Well, she’s... she’s… - Jake said that he never would have bothered competing in TE2 if he knew two women would win. Sounds like he’s the bitch, if you ask me. - HBK is back. And he’s found Jesus no less. How long before Shawn gets struck by lightening, I wonder? - Hey Warrior, if you respected the Bulldog so much, maybe you should have pulled his punk card before he died. - An nWo face turn? Yah. That’ll make everything right again. If they’re not over as heels, how in the world do they get over as faces? - Someone should tell Randy Orton that when Maven can outshine you, acting-wise, it’s time to buy some lessons. - Billy Kidman got himself some new wrestling trunks. Guess what, Billy. It’ll take more than that to get the fans to notice you again. - If Terri’s wrestling were as stiff as her nipples, she might be worth watching. - Memo to The Jarrett’s: Just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it’s not crap as well. Forgotten Clashes – A Walk Down Memory Lane Before I get started with this section, I just want to encourage everyone to keep an eye out for American Gladiators re-runs on TNN. I caught Rico Constantino on one of the shows and I swear it was one of the funniest things that I have witnessed this year. The mullet, alone, is priceless. Anyway, I thought that I would take a quick look back at last year’s King Of The Ring. Overall the card was pretty good as Edge and Kurt Angle really worked themselves silly in their respective matches to help the event that more watchable. One match went unnoticed, in my opinion however. That was the opening match between Kurt Angle and Christian in the KOTR Semi-Finals. I wasn’t really expecting a lot out of this match at the time because it seemed to be the blow-off match of the night. These two men put on a great opener though. Two heels really made it worth watching as they went hold for hold and I found myself rooting on both men just for the sheer effort that was being put out. If you didn’t catch last year’s event, check it out. The opening match really sets the bar for the rest of the night. Last ReCall And that’s my column for this week. I had to wonder if I was ever going to get this up in time. My computer caught a heck of a virus and completely pooched my hard drive, which took care of everything that I had written thus far. After the virus was taken care of and I reinstalled Windows, my modem died on me. Needless to say that computers are one of my least favorite things in the world right now. I’m looking forward to the weeks coming up though. Real Action Wrestling, a local independent circuit, is coming through the valley and I want to catch some of that action. I only got to attend one of their shows last summer and I really want to show my support for these guys. They haven’t got the best ring in the world to work with but they do the best that they can with what they have. So until next time, I leave you with these words of wisdom to help you through your week. “Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.” – Lily Tomlin Valleyboy: E-Mail: valleyboy_ca@hotmail.com AIM: Valleyboy Canada *NEW GALLERY* AMAZING!! More Uncensored Kelly Kelly Bikini Photos! Very Rare!
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