WWE Excess Recap 5-18-02
Submitted by Chris Fothergill-Brown on Sunday, May 19, 2002 at 12:24 AM EST



I’m a tad tired this evening, as I’ve just hit the “slow point” in my day.
Most people hit that point around 4:00pm, but I wake up later than most
people.

I can’t for the life of me remember what happened on RAW, and I didn’t watch
or tape Smackdown! this week due to hockey being on. That should more or
less sum up how I feel about the product on television these days. Now
saying that, I’m still a sucker and I’m still gonna drop my $35 on the
pay-per-view tomorrow night, despite not really knowing or remembering
what’s been announced for it. You can find my review of the show on my site
sometime on Monday.

Into e-fedding at all? The federation I’m a part of is holding it’s annual
101 man Battle Royal starting THIS MONDAY, and I certainly invite anyone who
wishes to participate to head over there and find out how to apply, STAT!
It’s almost full, but we have room for another 5 guys or so, so hurry. Did I
mention we’re giving away REAL PRIZES? So if you’re into that kind of stuff,
no commitments aside from this week, go give it a look.
http://www.efedgalaxy.com/TWF

So this is it for Excess. I wish I could say it’s been a fun ride for the
past 39 weeks…

Davey Boy Smith is DEAD??? Uhhh, wow… I don’t have a clue what to say about
that one. Sorry, a friend of mine JUST messaged me now to pass that along,
and it seems Lords Of Pain has confirmed it. I’m not good at expressing
myself during these passings, so I’ll let it pass this week and maybe next
week have something to say. For now, I drink a beer to you Bulldog.

Chris Jericho promises to be that damn good – while Triple H wants to take
Jericho straight to hell. Triple H – Chris Jericho – Hell In The Cell.

This week, the Hell In A Cell returns, and the two mentioned above will
appear in that match. The guy in yellow is Michael Cole, and with his of
course is Marc Loyd. Also tomorrow night, Hulk Hogan faces The Undertaker in
a match about respect.

Speaking of respect, over to Smackdown! we jump from two days ago. Hulk
Hogan comes to the ring…and my neighbors in Montreal give him a standing
ovation. Holy hell, that’s a pop. Hogan should be a farmer, because this man
knows how to MILK IT. Tears flow, fans bow down, and Hogan’s probably just
earned himself another month with the belt. Yuck, this Sleeman’s Bream Ale
sucks. I’ll drink for Bulldog tomorrow instead when I find something better.
Is this ovation going to, you know, END anytime soon? I’ve had time to put
together a 5 page essay here. He hulks up, fans go crazy. The announcers at
least have the class to shut the hell up. Finally he stops ‘em, and speaks
on this. “You guys are overwhelming.” No kidding. Hogan says his goal was
just to get to Wrestlemania, and came out the following night in Montreal to
say thanks. Because of these people, he can’t go home now. And with
Judgement Day lurking in the wings, he says thanks again. Thanks for making
his dreams come true, he hopes this dream never ends. When he turns into the
news today, and sees how the world is, reality sucks. When he’s in the ring,
he’s in a fantasy world and hopes it never ends. He knows Hulkamania’s gonna
live forever. With all that being said, Undertaker, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
Vince McMahon comes out and wants to disagree. Reality doesn’t suck,
Hulkamania sucks. He enjoyed it on RAW when Undertaker dragged Hogan behind
the motorcycle like he’s a bag of roadkill. Hah, I liked it too – but for
completely different reasons that I’ll get into when it’s aired. At one time
he might have been the Immortal Hulk Hogan, but no more. Vince sees an empty
shell. He can smell the stench, Hulkamania is diseased. Hulkamania has
cancer. Montreal starts up with their “nananana, nananana, hey hey hey,
goodbye” chant, probably for the Habs who LOST to my team, the Carolina
Hurricanes! Suck it, suck it, suck it! I’ve been waiting a long, LONG time
for them to win a couple games. Vince created Hulkamania, NOT Hulk Hogan. He
can always destroy it. The red stands for his blood that will be splattered
at Judgement Day, and the yellow stands for the streak going right down his
back. And with that, here’s a slap for Hogan. And Hulk Hogan does what we’ve
all been waiting for for a LONG time, and drops a leg over Vince. See, now
I’m trapped and FORCED to cheer for Hogan. Not against Taker, against Vince…

WWE Velocity – premiers May 25th on the NEW TNN.

2 weeks ago, Torrie Wilson stripped down.

How is Tajiri going to fare without Torrie Wilson on his side? Well, he
defended the Cruiserweight Title in a three way dance.

Hurricane, Billy Kidman, and Tajiri all got going. Hurricane and Kidman
double team the champ – but have problems when they want a pinfall. They
fight for awhile, Hurricane unable to hit the Chokeslam. Short powerbomb by
Kidman on Tajiri, 1, 2, no good. We fast forward to the end, Shooting Star
Press, 1, 2, Hurricane saves. Hurricane steals the pin, 1, 2, Tajiri gets a
foot on the ropes. Tajiri tries the Big Kick, but it’s countered with a
Chokeslam for the pin(?). And The Hurricane is the champ. Oh boy…

The Hurricane has a problem with these mysterious notes. I suspect Shannon
Moore.

Michael Cole asks Marc Loyd what he did to his hair? Maybe he should go and
see Rico. Speaking of Rico…

It’s Rico against Rikishi. Color me excited. This certainly is a match
alright. Rikishi gets the win and dances.

At Judgement Day, Rikishi faces Billy and Chuck with a mystery partner of
McMahon’s choice. I’ll take a guess and say either Albert (they WERE having
issues) or Rico, just to confuse everyone.

Welcome back to WWE Excess – and this is the last week of Excess. (WOOHOO!)
Next Saturday night, Velocity kicks off. Original matches featuring
Smackdown! guys. Immediately following that is Confidential, which goes
behind the scenes, and starts with Shawn Michaels. YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!! And
I’ll recap it!

Here’s a look at Kurt Angle feuding with Edge. ‘Scuse me, I’m gonna run to
the fridge. Alright, they’re putting hair on the line.

Actually, I’m looking forward to that one. One of the few I’m jacked for. As
soon as Edge or Kurt Angle loses, they’ll be dragged into a barber chair and
shaved.

UP NEXT: A swimsuit contest gets serious when Tajiri and Trish
get involved.

Go apply for Tough Enough 3. http://www.toughenough.com

Here’s this week’s brief Tough Enough recap. Al Snow says he’s in everyone’s
head. Lots of highlights of Al training with Hawk are shown. Hawk says he’s
hurting, his heart’s not there. Al was pulled aside by Hawk, and Hawk tells
him he’s hurting. Hawk quits, and Big sends him home. They come home, and
Bob Holly says they’re a whole new group of people. At the end, Annie blows
out her knee.

Marc makes fun of Hawk. You’re a turd.

On Smackdown! Maven asked Torrie out on a date…and she said yeah. Then came
a swimsuit contest.

Tazz hosts the contest. They SO need Okerlund for this. Whoever gets the
loudest cheer gets the win. Torrie takes off her robe, and reveals a piece
of a white bikini. However, before we see too much, Tajiri runs out and
covers her up. Stacy gets on the mic and declares the competition over. Tazz
still wants to see what the winner’s got. She shows a leg…and backs off.
Hahahaha! Trish Stratus makes her way out – since she’s the ladies’ champion
and is allowed to jump from show to show. Trish’s voice sounds an AWFUL lot
like Terri’s tonight for some reason. Trish strips down to her lingerie for
no apparent reason. Tazz declares Trish Stratus the winner. Stacy throws a
fit.

This Sunday, Trish with Bubba is facing Stacy with D-Von for the WWE Women’s
Title.

A power hungry owner and a monster join forces to eliminate the one thing
that stands in their way. Plus, has The Undertaker destroyed Hulk Hogan? WWE
RAW, this Monday.

You know what’s strange? I saw Carrot Top do stand up comedy, and he’s
actually REALLY funny. I now know where he got work as the Call ATT
spokesman, even if he blows at that.

We’re going to see a number of Shawn Michaels interviews on Confidential
next week, including talking about Montreal.

Here’s a package about Triple H and Chris Jericho – and everything building
(since about 2 weeks ago) towards Hell In A Cell.

That’s it for hour one – the Coach is on his way so turn off your TV now.

Ric Flair hits Steve Austin with a chair, and makes a match for Judgement
Day with himself and Big Show against Austin.

This is WWE Excess Late Night, with 22 time Hardcore Champion Raven (LIARS,
it’s 19!), and The Coach.

Here we go to RAW. Ric Flair tells the world he’s a VERY powerful man. He
drafted Austin in good faith, and Austin stunned him. He tried to be
Austin’s friend, he tried to tell him he likes him, and he screws with him
anyway. He thinks Steve Austin is trash. To hell with Austin, to hell with
the fans, and to hell with the Maple Leafs. All in the same order. For the
first time since he’s been back, he can sympathize with Vince. As an owner
trying to sympathize with Austin, it’s impossible. Austin now has a giant
and Flair to deal with. He’s gonna bleed, sweat, and pay the price all in
one night. People have suggested power has gone to his head, so he’ll show
‘em power. Flair vs. Hogan for the WWE Title, tonight!

With great power comes great responsibility says Raven, and his greatest
responsibility is to himself. Raven thinks Flair’s in better shape now than
he was 5 years ago.

So back to RAW again, for Flair vs. Hogan. Now we’re talking! This is MY
kind of match! Flair bails early and goes for a chair, which is okay since
it’s no DQ. Flair and Charles Robinson get into a mild scrap, which is
retarded since this is LITTLE NAITCH we’re talking about! Flair chops at
Hogan, and as usual Hogan no sells. Hogan punches and chops right back. We
get a 10 punch count along in the corner, and a Flair flop!!! Flair can’t
Flair flip properly, but still goes up top and gets caught! Clip ahead, and
Flair drops a knee, but it’s blocked and here comes a Figure Four from
Hogan. Flair escapes, and takes over the match again. A series of chops sets
off Hogan, and he hulks up. Big boot, legdrop, and X-Pac is in. Big Show
comes lumbering down and attacks. Bradshaw’s in to even it up, and here
comes Steve Austin. Stunner, Hogan hits a legdrop, 1, 2, 3.

Raven’s looking forward to the fact Austin has to face an angry giant and
Ric Flair. The Coach doesn’t see how Austin can take them on. Later tonight,
we’ll see how Flair retaliated.

Two weeks ago, we saw a million Hardcore Title changes.

Raven loves the concept of a mixed hardcore match. Coach wants to see it.
Roll that footage!

A bunch of ECW jobbers, and Crash Holly run into a match with Steven
Richards and Jazz against Bubba Ray and Trish. That left Jazz and Trish in
the match, Trish hit the Stratusfaction and scored the pinfall making her
the new WWE Women’s Champion. After the match, Bubba puts Jazz through the
table.

Coach says Jazz injured her knee and is out for 4 to 6 months. Meanwhile,
Raven accuses Coach of having dated Mae Young.

WWE REWIND: Brock Lesnar kills the Hardys over the course of
the past month.

Raven remembers high school, and says if you can’t defend yourself, you
deserve to get the crap kicked out of you. This goes double for the Hardys.

On RAW, Lesnar worked a handicap match against both Hardys. We’re clipped to
the end, as both Hardys hit their moves, and the referee got pulled out by
Heyman. It’s a disqualification win for the Hardys, and Lesnar’s winning
streak is done. Lesnar tries to save face, but he gets beat up again. Heyman
absolutely loses his mind. He challenges the Hardys to fight Brock Lesnar
and his tag-team partner…himself!

Coach suggests anyone looking for a reason to order the pay-per-view, look
no further than the Hardys again Paul and Brock. Uhhh, I’m still looking
guys.

And now, a special video package detailing Hulk Hogan’s title win over
Triple H, and feud with The Undertaker.

Ric Flair was obviously fuming about the match earlier where Austin cost him
a chance to become champion. So Flair booked a lumberjack match with a new
n.W.o. member. Here’s a look at some of the lumberjacks.

Goldust sings the lumberjack song. Cut over to Booker T, who’s dressed like
a lumberjack, complete with beard. Booker T suggests Goldust wear the outfit
instead.

So we jump ahead to the match itself – and Flair announces the n.W.o. member
is Booker T. The fans don’t care, and I think it’s completely lame. This is
a guy who was pressured by his OWN BROTHER to join in WCW, and he STILL
refused. Yet he’s quick to jump here? I hate Vince McMahon’s lack of concern
for history. The match itself is retarded. Every heel on RAW beats the piss
out of Austin, and Booker T STILL can’t win the match, getting rolled up.

Coach says Austin’s in no condition to wrestle tomorrow night at Judgement
Day, due to internal injuries from the beating he took at the end of RAW
from Flair and Big Show. Raven can’t wait to be rid of Austin.

Next week, WWE Velocity with guys from the Smackdown! crew, the on WWE
Confidential, we’ll hear from Shawn Michaels. Raven wants to know how Shawn
Michaels lost his smile, and makes faces to get his point across. Funny
stuff.

Here’s the making of a Lita commercial. She did a take where she had to
choke the actor several times. Then they worked at throwing a TNN executive
across a table, which she had trouble with. Finally, she goes to make up
with him, and kicks him in the junk. He wants her to pull up her pants, and
she gives him a wedgie, revealing a thong on him.

Tomorrow night, catch Sunday Night Heat. My recap will be up on Lords Of
Pain sometime after the PPV ends. Then it’s Judgement Day, and Coach runs
down all the matches, which we’ve more than covered on Excess already so
there’s no need to go over it again.

God bless the Hart Foundation, and especially Bulldog.

Chris F-B
chriscfgb@hotmail.com
http://cfgb.freeservers.com








*NEW GALLERY* Simply AMAZING Gallery Dedicated to Amy "Lita" Dumas HOT POSES!

• Quick Links -
  [Back to LOP] [News Archives] [Results] [Columns] [Forums]