Tables, Ladders, and Keyboards
Submitted by Shane Defy on Friday, May 17, 2002 at 10:30 PM EST



Finally back is your friendly neighborhood Shane Defy.

Good grief, I'm gone for a few weeks, and as soon as I get back, the world is in turmoil. I was gone for a much longer time than I anticipated, getting a new hard drive installed and my CD Rom drive fixed, so to both of my readers, I apologize.

Now, before I left, the WWF was pretty entertaining. I wasn't that thrilled about the overall product, but it kept me tuning in. Then, I was shut out from the internet and learning what was really going on in the wrestling world. I was for a little while one of those misinformed marks who thought that there have been 5 different Ultimate Warriors. So, without any warning, suddenly when I'm waiting to tune into a fun edition of WWF RAW, I'm hit with some lady chainsawing a bush and telling me to "Get the F out!" It finally happened, god damn those pandas.

I can't believe those bastards did this to the WWF, or the WWE. Get a life, you animal nazis, let nature run it's course, nobody knows who you are, stay the fuck out of my way. I could just drop kick one of your non-screwing pandas right down your throats. Hell, if I could jump well enough, I'd give it a Van Terminator just for shits and giggles.

Also, for two straight weeks, I was treated with shitty episodes of Raw. Not funny.

Then, as I read on the internet as soon as I return, there was a much more entertaining plane ride from the United Kingdom than episodes of Raw. Brock Lesnar and Mr. Perfect were playing around, and things got a little rough, so everyone had to get up and seperate them. Wow, Mr. Perfect sure is brilliant, picking a fight with a little guy like Brock. Eventually, as I now know, Perfect was fired.

Also on that trip, Scott Hall showed that the more things change, the more they stay the same. He was released, again, for being intoxicated and just overall poor behavior. I believe we've seen the last of him, as I don't know what else there is for him to do.

Finally, on a much more serious note, Michael Hayes' mullet was cut off! Oh, the nerve! I'm hearing that it was either Brashaw or X-Pac. My real guess is that Hulk Hogan brought in his buddy Ed Leslie, and he relived an old gimmick.

As I said before, the more things change, the more they stay the same. The WWE has changed in so many ways over the past few months, with the roster split, the new name, some new talent, a new look for RAW, new storylines, but yet... it seems like it's the same as it always was. The same Boss vs. Employee fueds, the same goofy gimmicks repeated over and over with different wrestlers, the same slugs stinking up the joint.

I'm sadly at a time right now when wrestling doesn't get me fired up at all, and I wonder how much longer I can stick it out. Bringing in a certain Bill Goldberg, the man who I feel was the biggest name from the old WCW would really help me out, but I don't think I'm going to get that lucky. Even Scott Steiner would probably get me interested again, but he wouldn't do the trick as easily as Goldberg. Hopefully, Vince will do something besides get wasted in court by a bunch of fuggin' pandas.

Damn, I've been off of the internet too long. I've got too much to catch up on. Adios.









*NEW GALLERY* Wow! The Amazing RED CORSET Bedroom Photos of WWE's Maryse!

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