WWF Raw Results 4-29-02
Submitted by Steven “Rommel” Schaeffer on Monday, April 29, 2002 at 11:23 PM EST



Raw Report - Live from Buffalo, NY - 04-28-02
By Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer

Segment #1
Raw begins with the usual theme and video package, and a sweeper for Hogan vs. William Regal. From there the Hardyz music immediately hit.

Match #1 Jeff Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrerro © for the Intercontinental Title
The Important Stuff: It is becoming obvious that Jeff dyes his hair just prior to match time, as there was more green on his shirt then in his hair. Jeff Hardy hit a release fishermen's suplex off the top rope at one point. Later, when Guerrerro was pushed off the top he avoided a fall with a flip and a roll. The ref was knocked out after Jeff's corkscrew somersault hit both the champ and the official. This allowed Eddie to grab the strap and use it to knockout Jeff who was attempting a Pescado.
My Take: Match was sloppy and somewhat boring, all thanks to Jeff. His work rate continues to decline every week. His energy is as nonexistent as his pop. He should look to TNN for advice; they've got pop! It's too bad too, because the crowd was into things at the beginning and died quickly when they saw the action.
Result: Eddie Guerrerro hit the frog splash for the win.

A flashback from last week's Raw, from Flair's apology to the big Big Show turn is shown. Afterwards we see a "Moment's Ago" of Stone Cold Steve Austin entering the building. He asks a stagehand if that lying son of a bitch is here yet. The stagehand says that Mr. McMahon is not going to be there tonight. Austin says he means Flair. Stone Cold says that the Nature Boy should she him in the ring… right now! Well okay, not right now because this was a "Moment's Ago" segment and we go to commercials.

Segment #2
And we are back live with the Rattlesnakes music, and no pop. Okay, now that's a dead crowd when they will not make noise for Austin. Kind of like Mets fans I guess. Here come the "What?" chants. Okay, let's see… so far he's said nothing. Nothing… nothing… nothing… Uh huh. You know this just might be the same promo he gave last week on reel. Finally he gets to the point that he wants the Big Show tonight for turning on him last week. Out comes Ric Flair. Austin wants him to come from the stage to the ring, but Flair refuses on grounds that he wants to avoid anything that would require a suspension or worse. Secondly he denies any involvement in the Big Show's turn. Austin flips him off and the crowd chants "Asshole (at Flair I believe). Ric Flair gives excuses for what happened last week, and then sucks up to the Rattlesnake some. The Nature Boy explains that the Big Show and Austin cannot fight tonight, because Paul Wight is on a promotional tour of India. To make it up to Austin, however, Flair says he is going to make it Bradshaw and Austin vs. The nWo tonight. Steve points out to Flair that match is the same match as last week when things got out of control. Flair says he will not let that happen, because he is going to be the special referee. He warns Austin about putting his hands on him, but Austin says he will do whatever he wants-and that's the bottom line 'cause Stone Cold says so.

Segment #3
Booker T and Goldust argue about remaining tag partners, and Goldust decides he has no choice but to place his Golden Wig on Booker T. Bad jokes ensue. I have no idea what just happened there.

Match #2 Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T
The Important Stuff: Neither man got much, if any reaction for their entrances, though the RVD chants remain. As the two went through trademarked spots Goldust made his way down to the ring with a devilish grin. Supposedly aiming for RVD he accidentally nailed Booker T, allowing RVD an opportunity to climb to the top.
My Take: At first it was as good if not better then the match they had on the first post-split Raw, but when it degraded down to the standard Raw spot-festival so did my opinion.
Result: Rob Van Dam hit the 5* frog splash for the victory.

Segment #4
Terri is shown interviewing Bradshaw who reveals that he is fine, The Big Show hit him, and that he hates oxymoron's. He names a few: Fair fight, Honest Politician, or Celibate Priest. Son of a bitch that's my line! Anyway he promises retribution when the Big Show gets back from India and that he doesn't care if

Jazz does pushes ups while Molly tries to convince her not to face Bubba for the Hardcore title. Jazz doesn't reply to Molly's pleas.

Coach is with Shawn Stasiak, talking about his crushing defeat at the hand of William Regal. They hype his match with Brock Lesnar. More sacrificial prey… Anyway, Shawn goes through his awful rhythms that end with Planet Stasiak

And there is Brock Lesnar walking down a hall with Paul, towards the camera.

Segment #5
Right back in and so plays the music of the monster.

Match #3 Brock Lesnar vs. planet Stasiak
The Important Stuff: Shawn pounced Brock to start, and got some cheap shots in for a few seconds. Afterward, Brock put on a clinic for those learning how to hurt people.
My Take: Ouch…
Result: The ref called the match after Brock knocked Shawn clear out with his 360 powerbomb.

Flair is shown on his cell phone wearing his official stripes. In walks Debra, who was called for by Flair. He tells her he has a message for her to give to her husband. That is, he can trust him. Debra says she has a message for him too, so she slaps him and recites D…T…A…

Segment #6
We come back and see the Deadman walking from behind, and he runs into Sgt. Slaughter. Undertaker asks him about his relationship with Hogan. He asks him to take the message that he is here tonight, and he'll see him in the ring.

Woo-here comes Ric Flair to another round of the crowd's symphony of silence. Then comes the nWo's TV-only walk down the aisle, to crickets chirping. Bradshaw is next, and I believe I heard someone cough. Finally comes the rattlesnake, to the roar of the popcorn machines! Yes, the crowd is that dead.

Match #4 nWo vs. Bradshaw/Stone Cold
The Important Stuff: The New World Order spent the majority of the match getting the hell beaten out of it. Finally, by working over the leg, they began to get the upper hand on Bradshaw, cutting him off from Austin. The hot tag to Austin was made, and he came in a house of fire. JR accented his calling of the Lou Thesz press, but that is all. So I will do what he would not. Thesz… here is to you. Stone Cold hit the Stunner on X-PAC and Scott put his put on the ropes. Flair missed it though.
My Take: So the now is now permanently just a tag team? I cannot watch is match another time it is so bad, and I have a feeling we will have to sit through it again next week.
Result: After the Stunner the Nature Boy counted the 1,2,3.

Segment #7
We see a flashback of the pinfall by Ric Flair. They do the opposite angle once more, which clearly shows you can see X-PAC's foot on the rope. Scott and Sean threaten him, saying that they'd get him if he were a wrestler, but Flair tells them to be careful what they wish for.

The Undertaker invades. Well that whole split thing was nice. He comes down to the ring with his music and his motorcycle! Taker talks about Hogan's first run in the federation. Talks about the cheering of the crowd. Then he talks about what would happen in the crowd when he came to the ring, that being frowns and tears. Talks about the fear in the eyes of the children. Hey, how about the fear in the eyes of the 'net writer who will have to watch his matches? Undertaker says he is different from Rock or HHH, who were awestruck by him. He is different because he is better then he is now then Hulk was in his prime, and that he has beat him. He talks about how he ran from the WWF because he was afraid of him. Weak Hogan chant comes and goes. Undertaker says he can take more then his title, but in fact take an icon and make him a broken man, ask Ric Flair. He hopes the Hulkster beats Jericho, and the reason why he let him win at Backlash is so he can see the expression on the faces of the people as he destroys Hulk Hogan. Voodoo Child plays and the Red and Yellow limps to the ring. Stare down. Another weak and short-lived Hogan chant comes along. 'Taker says Hogan is ready to go, that he wants a piece of him, and that he has something to say. But Taker has an answer, as to what will happen when "Hulkamania runs wild on me" Undertaker says he will beat him like the bitch he is. Big pop for that! Hogan socks him once in the jaw, and Taker retreats.

A sweeper for Smackdown's big main event is shown.

Segment #8
A little ad for Lita's work on Dark Angel is shown. They actually mention that the show may have cost the woman her career! During Jazz's entrance Coach interviews Bubba in the back. The Dudley asks where Jazz has been for the last three years, and whether or not she knows what he does to women in the ring. He asks what every woman in the federation has in common, the answer being all have touched his wood. This got an odd black covering over it for a moment, though the audio remained. Censorship or bad production, who knows?

Match #5 Bubba © in a Hardcore Championship match
The Important Stuff: Bubba completely overpowered the women's champion, forcing her to dance with him at one point. As he taunts her with his dancing Jazz gets pissed and delivers the ball shot. She goes for some weapons, and begins beating him with them. Even after this Bubba pays the match no attention, biting her ass even, until she slaps him. So he resumes humiliating her, to the point of the trashcan trap made famous of Mick Foley's book. Bionic elbow to the trashcan! Bubba got the table. Steven Richard came down, and while Bubba fended him off Jazz struck with a shovel and Richards hit a guitar shot.
My Take: Just when the division was almost getting over the WWF remembers to humiliate Jazz by having Bubba made a joke of her. Good thing too, because we have to make sure that we kill anything with potential as quick as you can say 24/7. At least Stevie has nice pants.
Result: After the hit, Stevie got the pin and the strap. Jazz left with the new champion.

Segment #9
After a sweeper for the WWF Live we see a flashback to the finish of the last match. Afterward Stevie and Jazz are showed fleeing the building

Oh ye Gods! The Hulk Hogan cartoon is shown. The camera pulls back to see William Regal with a whole table of Hogan merchandise, who blissfully turns off the TV. He runs down the Hulkster in his own indelible way, calling him a whore in the queens. He then makes fun of the Hulka-crap and the people's obsession with it. William asks why the people don't worship someone like him. I'm sorry I didn't take perfect dictation on this interview, as I was laughing too hard at Regal who gave an awesome promo.

Austin and Bradshaw are shown drinking together in celebration. Flair comes in to ask if things were made right. Austin says no, and Bradshaw agrees. So Ric Flair says that he'll prove where he stands next week. Six-man-tag, The nWo vs. Bradshaw, Austin and The Nature Boy!

Segment #10
The Rock is here, the Rock is there-the Rock is everywhere! A video package of Dwayne's media blitz covers one of the best examples of hype ever.
Match #6 Goldust vs. Spike © for the European Championship
The Important Stuff: Spike mocked Dustin before the match and was squashed from there. Goldust set up the Shattered Dreams, stalled, and then purposely stopped the move. Booker T came out and hit Dustin while the referee freed Spike.
My Take: Wow… that was really really bad. What the hell was with the stalling and the stopped shattered dreams? Did Booker miss a cue?
Result: Spike hit the Acid Drop on the injured Goldust to retain.

A sweeper for the new video Stone Cold Steve Austin: What? I might watch that, just for the old WCW footage they showed on the commercial.

Segment #11
The drowning pool version of Hunter's theme brings her back, too bad it is one of the worst tracks on the album.

Match #7 William Regal vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan
The Important Stuff: Before the match Regal took the microphone. He asked Hogan to join him for a spot of tea before the match. Regal poured the tea, and offered it to Hogan who was hesitant. After a sip, Hogan spit it in Regal's face, and then proceeded to beat the crap out of the blinded Englishman. Once they got back in the ring, Regal had just enough time to beg the human hotdog off before…
My Take: This was considered a match. Then again, Afghanistan was considered a country.
Result: …The Undertaker came out to assault Hogan. A no contest was the main event.

The Undertaker took the Hulkster's weight lifting belt, punching him with the buckle and beat him like my dominatrix does me on puppy day. Yes mistress, may I please have another? Another very short Hogan chant came of this, but was done by the time the Deadman hit his choke-slam and taunted the crimson-covered Hogan. Fade out.

Round up -
Rommel's Score: 45
Matches #7
Segment #11
Guerrerro © retained the Intercontinental Title over Jeff Hardy via pinfall
Rob Van Dam over Booker T via pinfall
Brock Lesnar over Shawn Stasiak via referee stoppage
Bradshaw/Stone Cold over nWo via pinfall
Stevie Richards over Bubba to win the Hardcore Championship
Spike © retained the European Championship over Goldust via pinfall
William Regal vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan went to a no contest

--------------------------------

IM Feedback
AIM: XvRommelvX - I'd love to hear back from you.
Sledge824 (1:35:23 AM): Hey dude . whats happenin
XvRommelvX (1:35:34 AM): Hi there
Sledge824 (1:35:35 AM): i had just one question . it was eating me from the inside
Sledge824 (1:35:51 AM): What ever happened to Todd Pettengill ?!?! ..
Sledge824 (1:36:05 AM): did he like ever get abducted by a cult or something
XvRommelvX (1:36:29 AM): Well, I will answer that as best I can but you might want to have that looked at. it might be some African parasite crawling it's way through your vital organs, chowing down.
Sledge824 (1:36:47 AM): hehe .. its most likely german born
XvRommelvX (1:36:49 AM): Actually, I have no idea. I've noticed he has been away as well though.
Sledge824 (1:36:58 AM): its been fucking w/ me .. fireal
Sledge824 (1:37:08 AM): last i remember of him was the days of In Your House
XvRommelvX (1:38:33 AM): Hmm... I seem to remember something on Wrestlecrap.com about him, but that site is gone now unfortunately. Keep asking around, try the forums or the other writers on the website, they might know more then me. Actually, I think that goes without saying.
Sledge824 (1:38:34 AM): he gave away a house . then joined the halebopp comet cult or something

If you like my writing go to one of the other websites I write for. You will find video game reviews and editorials at GeekMecca and more video games reviews and news postings over at the Invisible Dream.

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Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer








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