WWF Excess Recap 4-27-02
Submitted by Chris Fothergill-Brown on Sunday, April 28, 2002 at 10:53 AM EST



Sort of a split tonight – I didn’t recap RAW so that portion of Excess will
be all original content, but I DID recap Smackdown! (for Lords Of Pain no
less – QUICK go read it!) so I’m gonna recycle during that hour. Unless the
show is (hopefully) cancelled and I’m out of work!

HULK HOGAN IS OUR NEW CHAMPION! AND IT’S ALL UNDERTAKER’S FAULT! AHHHHHHHHH!

Welcome to WWF Excess, the guy in the suit is Michael Cole, his friend is
Marc Loyd. At Backlash, Hogan became the new champ, with a little help from
Taker. So on Smackdown! he decided to offer a rematch to Triple H – but
Vince had something to say about that, stepping in and saying Jericho
deserves his shot, so he booked a match between the two.

Meanwhile, a young guy named Randy Orton was just starting out…

Somewhere, a long pair of legs are standing. Stacy’s massaging Vince’s
temples – and someone knocks on the door. It’s…it’s…Randy Orton! He’s here
because he’s got a WWF tryout match tonight. Vince talks about Bob Orton,
and remembers the cast he had for years on end. Vince wishes him good luck
and takes off. Randy shakes Stacy’s hand. “Hi, I’m Randy Orton.” “You most
certainly are Randy Orton. Look at the size of those hands. My those are
some BIG hands! You know what they say about guys with big hands. You know,
since you’re having a tryout tonight why don’t I critique your body? Why
don’t you take that sweatshirt off?” He removes the shirt, and Stacy nibbles
on a finger. “Oooh yummy. I’m sure you know a lot about holds and
everything, but do you know this one? You take your hand and you put it
right here on my hip, and…” The door suddenly opens, and Vince is back.
Stacy suddenly turns the tables and says the minute he walked out the door
Randy started hitting on her. “This is gratitude? You know what, you’re just
like your old man! I’ll tell you what you do, your tryout match tonight,
it’s gonna be against Hardcore Holly. Now get the hell out of here! Get the
hell out!” Vince comforts Stacy.

BOB HOLLY vs. RANDY ORTON

Lock up, Bob gets a go-behind, but Orton counters with one of his own and
takes him down! Back to a vertical base, Bob puts on the headlock, Orton
shoves him off into the ropes, but gets run over with a shoulderblock. Bob
off the ropes – but gets caught with a hiptoss. Bob doesn’t appreciate that,
whips Orton, tries one of his own, but Orton counters into an armbar
takedown! Cover, 1, 2, Bob kicks out. He’s up to his feet right away and
runs him over with a stiff looking clothesline. Bob mounts Orton and starts
to punch away. Into the ropes, Bob tries to choke Orton. He places Orton
throat first on the top ropes – picks him up by the legs, and kicks him in
the midsection. Orton’s feeling that one. Holly holds him in a half nelson
and hammers away at the back. In the ropes, Holly beats the hell out of him
with chops. The ref orders him to give the kid a break – and when he comes
forward, Orton picks him up and hits a Stun Gun! Orton with a right, goes
for a whip which is reversed – ducks a clothesline, and dropkicks Holly!
Cover, 1, 2, Bob kicks out. Orton beats on Holly come more – goes for a whip
which is reversed – Holly charges and meets the elbow. Orton to the top, but
he’s cut off by Holly. Bob to the top rope, hammering away, Orton shoves him
away, steps up, and hits a bodypress! Bob rolls through, 1, 2, oh so close!
Holly gets in the face of the referee, and when he turns around he takes a
drop toe hold into an Oklahoma roll! 1, 2, 3!!

Time: 2:44

Orton celebrates all the way to the back!

Marc Loyd wonders what’s up with Stacy – since she was the one flirting with
Orton. I have an idea – GO TELL VINCE YOURSELF!

Let’s go watch some Tough Enough 2.

Jackie’s received tons of packages from her boyfriend, while Pete wants her
to break up with her boyfriend. Lots of tears! THIS IS WRESTLING! Jackie
regrets what she did, and needs to stay focused on the wrestling. Bob gets
annoyed with Hawk for crying. Al isn’t happy with where the kids are so far.
Maven and Nidia pay them a visit – and Maven tells them why it’s worth it.
Big has an offer for the kids. Everyone takes a chop from Bob Holly. No
thanks! Bob feels it’s a way to prepare them.

STILL TO COME: Rocky, Rocky, Rocky!

So why do people doubt Mark Henry? I don’t know anyone betting against him
except wrestlers who can’t get on TV any other way…

Backstage a whole bunch of betting men are standing around. Mark Henry and
Faarooq arrive, and Christian has a bet. Christian doesn’t believe Mark
Henry can bend a frying pan. Henry’s in – and wants Faarooq to bet on him.
He grabs himself a towel, squeezes, and actually rolls it in half! Good
GAWD! Yeah, I’m a sucker, I like this. Test has a second bet. A solid steel
rod – can he bend it in half? Double or nothing. Luckily Lance Storm is
nearby with a weightlifting belt. Henry puts it on, and bends away!
Christian’s seen enough, and clocks Henry with the bent frying pan before
running away.

MARK HENRY vs. CHRISTIAN

Henry charges, but Christian ducks the clothesline. He hammers away at the
skull of Henry. A whip attempt is blocked, as Henry isn’t budging, and
Christian is sent to the floor. Christian leaves a finger open, and Henry
stomps on it. Christian gets sent into the apron face first – then he’s
Gorilla press slammed from the floor onto the top rope. Not quite as
impressive as I’m sure they’d have liked. Henry continues to run over
Christian with clotheslines and shoulderblocks, then hits a falling
headbutt. 1, 2, Christian kicks out! Henry puts a clawhold on Christian(!)
but as the ref turns his back, Christian gets in a lowblow to break it up.
Christian kicks away – then hits a dropkick to Henry’s face. Trying an
Unprettier would be the LAST thing on my mind, but sure enough Christian
does just that and winds up in a bearhug. Christian submits???

Time: 1:54

Wow, talk about a trip straight back to the 80’s…

Marc Loyd actually wonders the last time you saw someone submit. Michael
Cole thinks Faarooq is the smartest of the bunch, staying close to Mark
Henry and not betting against him.

The Rock has been on about a hundred million TV shows promoting his movie –
and I’ll bet that’s why he hasn’t been on Smackdown! Not that I’ve noticed
him being gone really. I like Rocky, but we can live without him. Now take
away The Big Show, and you’re stepping right on my toes.

Marc Loyd thinks all the appearances were worth it – since the movie opened
with record breaking numbers. Rock cannot believe the support.

UP NEXT: Kurt Angle reveals his new shirt with Edge.

D-Von is in the crowd collecting money. A plant, err I mean fan steals the
basket. D-Von chases him and beats the hell out of him. “The good book says
thou shalt not steal!”

It’s better to give than receive says Marc. Well, one guy who wanted to give
on Smackdown! was Kurt Angle…

Kurt Angle is on his way out! The fans continue to chant You Suck during the
proper intervals in his song. “Ladies and gentlemen, now I know that most
people aspire to be rich and famous to avoid stepping foot in run down hick
towns like this one. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa whoa, but not me! Oh no! Because regardless of where they’re from, I
love all my fans. And even though this town Pee-oria…I mean listen to that
word Pee-oria…It sounds more like a urinary infection than an actual town.
BUT, I know that you people are as excited as heck to have a real life
honest to goodness Olympic champion in your presence. Now looking around, I
can’t help but notice how morbidly obese many of you are. Listen, listen,
congratulations, for once that’s to your advantage. I’ll tell you why,
because tonight I’m about to unveil the brand new Kurt Angle t-shirt. A
t-shirt that I designed myself, available only in double XL or larger! Now I
know that you people are asking yourself why double XL? Well you need all
the space you can to print European Champion, Intercontinental Champion,
King Of The Ring, Two Time WWF Champion, Olympic Champion, World Champion,
Six Time National Champion, National Hall Of Famer, just to name a few.” I
see that WWF Hardcore Champion didn’t make this prestigious list… “The list
goes on and on and on people, and you’ll see that with my brand new t-shirt.
And I know you people are asking yourselves, you’re saying ‘Kurt, I’m
grosely out of shape. My skin is horrible. And I’m pathetic. So wouldn’t
wearing your shirt actually be like living a lie?’ Well the answer to that
question is yes it would. But you know what, I’m saying that’s okay. Because
once you wear my t-shirt you’ll feel something that you’ve never felt
before. You people will feel like winners. So without any further ado…” And
on cue here comes Edge. Michael Cole notes that Edge is scheduled to team
with Rikishi against Kurt Angle and Albert lately. Kurt’s been dropped to
tagging with ALBERT? Oh GOD. “What the hell are you doing out here? What are
you out here to make some kind of wisecrack? Edge, hang on a second, I’m not
done talking. I beat you straight up 1, 2, 3 at Backlash, so you have
nothing on me. So why the hell are you out here right now?” “Kurt, despite
all of our differences, you and I had one helluva match at Backlash. Now uh,
you have a new t-shirt out and I wanted to come out here, I wanted to say
congratulations Kurt. I wanted to say congratulations, and I couldn’t be
happier for you, you’ve got a brand new t-shirt, and I want to see it, I
want to see the t-shirt.” “You’re serious?” “After the match you and I had,
I’m dead serious.” “It was a good match. You know something Edge, I knew
you’d come around, I knew you would.” And the boys shake hands. “So you
people want to see my brand new t-shirt? Excellent, photographers gather
around. I want to get a good shot of this. People, I want you to see the
brand new look of Kurt Angle. So without any further ado, here now is the
brand new Kurt Angle t-shirt. Drum roll please.” The curtain comes off…and
it’s a You Suck t-shirt! “Is that not me or what? Does that not fit me or
what? Hey, listen, if you people have any fat kids, it makes a great gift
idea…” At this point he sees it. “Hey, this is not my t-shirt, stop taking
pictures. Who the hell did this?” “Kurt, that shirt definitely is you. Hey,
can we please play the song that inspired this fashion masterpiece?” Medal
starts up, and the fans are rabid for the You Suck chants. Edge is all
grins, Kurt is a wreck.

Marc wonders if Edge had anything to do with that… Oh you’re KIDDING right.

WWF SLAM OF THE WEEK: Hogan wins the belt at Backlash.

CHRIS JERICHO vs. TRIPLE H (in a Number One Contender’s match)

They circle about…and no lock up, since Jericho scoots out to the floor.
Jericho heads back in at Tim White’s request, but takes his time doing so.
Lock up isn’t possible since Jericho backs up. Triple H looks to Tim White
for help, and Jericho takes that opportunity to kick away. Hah, Jericho
rules! Chops to Triple H – whip – and Triple H runs him over. Triple H in
control, punching away. Whip – Triple H ducks, and gets a boot to the face.
Jericho off the ropes – and is sent out to the floor by Triple H. H follows,
and chases Jericho back into the ring. Inside, Jericho takes a clothesline
and the hammering continues. Jericho sent shoulder first into the post.
Armdrag – and Triple H works over the shoulder. Jericho is again posted on
that same shoulder. Armdrag – Jericho fights out of it with punches. Whip –
Jericho takes a DDT off the ropes. Out to the floor goes Triple H who works
the arm around the post. Triple H heads back in to break up the count and
heads back to the floor. Rake of the eyes – Triple H sent into the steps.
Triple H is rolled back in, but Jericho is favoring the shoulder. From his
knees Triple H fights back – whips Jericho – but Jericho hits the flying
Jalapeno! Punches to Triple H, and he’s been busted open. More hammering in
the corner. Crowd: “Triple H!” Whip across the ring – Jericho follows and
clotheslines Triple H. McMahon watches with Stacy. Triple H fights back with
punches – comes off the ropes, and gets caught in a sleeper! Triple H stays
alive, but falls slowly. Triple H fights out of it, and puts on one of his
own! Jericho shoves Triple H off into the ropes – each man hits a forearm to
the face, Jericho falls, and Triple H does too right on his groin!

Backstage, Stacy frantically starts pointing towards the door. Vince jumps
out of his skin at the sight of The Undertaker. “What the hell are you doing
here?” You know, I thought the point of brand extension was to KEEP this
from happening! Ladies and gentlemen, we have to take a commercial break!

We return, and Jericho drops Triple H. Cover, 1, 2, Triple H kicks out. He
kicks away in the corner. Outside, Jericho works over Triple H who lies on
the apron. Triple H fights back – goes for a whip which is reversed, and
Jericho hits a spinning heel kick! 1, 2, not today! Jericho kicks away. Whip
– Jericho charges, Triple H moves, and he’s hit the post again! Jericho
comes out of it, and is met with a neckbreaker. Whip – Jericho ducks a
clothesline, but can’t avoid the spinebuster! 1, 2, NO! Jericho sent into
the turnbuckle. Punching continues. Whip – Jericho slides under the
kneelift, and gets on another sleeper! Neckbreaker drops Triple H, cover, 1,
2, Triple H kicks out. Jericho heads to the top rope – but Triple H hits the
ropes to cut him off. Triple H heads up – but Jericho counters his attack
and shoves him away. Missile dropkick hits on target, cover, 1, 2, SO CLOSE!
Jericho thinks it’s 3 and starts to throw a tantrum. Triple H takes the
chance to hit a running knee lift! Cover, 1, 2, not today. Triple H whips
Jericho – it’s reversed – Jericho comes off the ropes looking for a bulldog,
but gets clotheslined! This is an AWESOME match! Cover, 1, 2, Jericho kicks
out. Whip – Jericho reverses, goes for a dropkick, but Triple H pulls back,
goes for the slingshot, Jericho lands on the second turnbuckle, leaps, gets
booted, Pedigree is attempted, reversed into a backslide, 1, 2, TRIPLE H
KICKS AWAY. Holy shit I thought that was it! Jericho comes off the ropes,
hits the Bulldog – tries the Lionsault but Triple H moves! Triple H with a
boot to the midsection – reversed into the Walls, and he gets it locked on!
Triple H is crawling, crawling, crawling…Jericho is leaning back…the arm is
checked once…twice…but he’s alive on the third! Triple H continues the crawl
and reaches the ropes! Jericho thinks that’s it and starts a celebration,
but the ref doesn’t count it. Jericho heads to the floor, grabs a chair,
slides it in, and grabs a second chair. Tim White goes to get rid of the
first one, but behind his back Jericho goes to nail Triple H, but gets
DDTed! Cover, 1, 2, NO! Jericho and Triple H start the slugfest now. Back
and forth they go. Whip is reversed by Jericho – but he meets a facebuster.
Boot to the midsection – Pedigree is NOT hit because Undertaker is on the
apron, Triple H gets rid of him and rolled up right away, 1, 2, 3!!!!!!!!

Time: 13:10 + about 3:00 of commercials…

Triple H gets back to beating the hell out of Taker right away, but Jericho
joins Taker’s side and the two beat him down. Jericho poses, he’s got a
title shot next Thursday night! The beating continues, until Hulk Hogan
makes the save. Undertaker and Hogan brawl into the crowd – he’s limping
wild! Jericho at the top of the ramp, he mocks the cupping of the ear. And
we’re out!

WHAT AN AWESOME MAIN EVENT!!!

Oh man, did I just hear that the match between Jericho and Hogan is in
Pittsburgh? Those fans SUCK. Unforgiven was there – and if you heard the
reaction for that show… Stay away from there and Long Island!

Michael Cole and Marc Loyd sign out. Looks like I have to work now…

Undertaker looks forward to going to Judgement Day to face Hulk Hogan – but
then Triple H shows up…

YAY, THE COACH IS HERE! I’M ECSTATIC! Oh, and so’s Raven.

Raven can’t believe that Hogan’s title reign is tainted – after coming back
from so much. Coach says Hogan acknowledged it though, so it makes it all
better. Uh huh.

What about the #1 contender match? Raven feels you can’t buy a scorpion,
have it bite you, and bitch about being bitten. That’s the situation with
Undertaker and Flair.

Anyway, back to Backlash. Flair counts the three with Austin’s foot on the
rope. Flair apologizes to everyone in sight. Nobody accepts. Out comes Flair
on RAW and he admits he was wrong. Austin comes out and refuses to accept
that. Austin says Flair did it on purpose. Later on RAW, Bradshaw is hurt –
and the n.W.o. looks forward to a handicap match. Flair refuses that, and
books them against Austin and The Big Show.

To the match – Austin has to fight off the n.W.o. for about 10 minutes
without getting a tag. Finally, he’s able to tag out to The Big Show – and
The Big Show chokeslams his stupid ass and joins the n.W.o. JR: “WHAT A NO
GOOD BASTARD!” Considering since day one I wanted the group to be The
Outsiders, Hogan, X-Pac, and The Big Show – this is good enough. BRING IN
DIBIASE! The n.W.o. could use a little cash to throw around…

Raven feels Show realized that since Nash has been suspended there’s room
for a big man in the n.W.o. This Monday, Steve Austin will be looking for
answers on RAW.

UP NEXT: Lita’s on Dark Angel.

In Vancouver, BC, Lita films an episode of Dark Angel! James Cameron is the
director, and he certainly directed alright. He’s still a wiener though.
Lita had a hard time adjusting to everything being fake. She’s used to
working for demanding people – and it’s relaxed here. She has a fight scene
with Max, and it was a challenging fight.

Dark Angel is on this Friday. Lita suffered an injury – and is out for 6 to
9 months! Holy shit, I should probably read the Ross report once in awhile.

COMING UP: Triple H fights with Undertaker.

The boys discuss Flair’s refereeing job at Backlash. Raven feels if you’re
hired to be a referee, you have to be qualified. So back to RAW…

The Undertaker thanks Ric Flair for being such a great referee at Backlash.
STOP SAYING WHAT YOU DAMN IDIOTS! The fans want Steve Austin. Taker looks
forward to facing off with Hulk Hogan one more time – and at Judgement Day
becomes Judge, Jury, and Executioner. Triple H shows up – even though he
doesn’t work here. Security does NOT throw him out, JR declares it
Armageddon even though we’re not allowed to say that word on WWF TV anymore,
and they brawl. Some refs try to stop the fight, but since they tend to die
when touched, they promptly all die. QUOTE FROM DAD: “Why is Triple H so
upset if the match the night before was scripted?” Out to the back, Triple H
pulls out his trusty sledgehammer, sledges Undertaker in the gut, then gets
arrested since he doesn’t work here. PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE GUNS BOYS!

Raven doesn’t think Triple H cares about being arrested.

Molly Holly knows the fans want their women to be pure. I agree! MORE IVORY!

A bunch of cups are stacked up in front of Raven – and he thinks if he
tosses in a ping pong ball he gets a goldfish. Turns out he’s wrong, it’s
just 7-Eleven cups sitting on the desk to promote the fact you can get one
with a Slurpee. I could go for a Slurpee… There’d better be a 7-Eleven next
time I move, because I can’t go another year without one.

Jazz and Molly take on Jackie and Trish. They put on another good showing –
but nobody notices because they’re women, which is sad. Keep going chick –
I’m on your side! Bad girls win on this day.

Coach gives it up for Trish. I’d like to give it up for Trish.

Jackie likes bad boys! Find out all about it with some Tropical Pleasure.

WWF OVERDRIVE OF THE NIGHT: A dog talks, then Brock Lesnar gives Matt Hardy
a reverse TKO on the ramp two weeks ago.

That stubborn Matt Hardy never stops. Wanna know why?

On RAW, Matt Hardy fought Brock Lesnar 1 on 1. He promptly died – so the ref
called for the bell.

Raven thinks Matt Hardy’s stubbornness is a recipe for disaster.

UP NEXT: Booker T and Goldust offer some advise to the Scorpion King!

Booker T and Goldust are at the movies! Here’s a scene from The Scorpion
King. Rocky arrives with Hell Fire And Brimstone which he borrowed from
Kane, shoots an arrow, draws a sword, and says boo. Booker T loved the
movie, except for one thing: The Rock. Booker T would have sent it over the
top. Goldust thinks that sounds delicious. Here’s some of the same footage.
Hell Fire and Brimstone – but that’s Booker T! Not only is he the Scorpion
King, but he’s the 5 time WCW Champion and he has a sword! Can you dig that
sucka? Goldust thinks there was one thing keeping it from being an Oscar
contender – and that thing is Goldust. He puts himself in the film with the
BOO, and bites. Booker T suggests if Goldust had starred in the movie, it
would have been the Scorpion Queen. This bit was gold!

Raven felt that Goldust was like Siskel. You mean dead?

Eddie Guerrero faces the returning D’Lo Brown tomorrow on Heat. Whoa, he
really IS back. Froggie Splash vs. Froggie Splash. Think RVD might get
involved? On Heat? Naaaah…well, maybe.

Send me feeback – I like getting praised. Or bitched at. ;-)

Chris F-B
chriscfgb@hotmail.com
http://cfgb.freeservers.com








*NEW GALLERY* MUST SEE! Very Rare Photos of KAREN ANGLE Over the Years!

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