Dead Bodies Everywhere
    Submitted by Jaymz on Friday, March 29, 2002 at 6:00 PM EST

    It's that time once again, time for another arousing edition of Dead Bodies Everywhere! I am your host, as always and without further adieu...

    I guess there's really only a few things that are making news these days. I have avoided my AIM program because of that. I know that I'd be asked the same questions over and over again; and instead of answering them over and over again, I'm going to give all the answers here.

    What did you think of the draft?

    Honestly? I a bit surprised at some of the draft picks, but not in a good way. Raw has all of the old slugs in it (with the exception of RVD and Brock Lesnar) and Smackdown has many future stars in it. In my opinion, Flair got swanked.


    The part that made me laugh was when McMahon and Flair were shouting out their picks and McMahon said "Alright then, I got Rikishi!" I thought to myself, "Oh yeah, you sure showed him! You just picked up a fat-ass piece of shit who wouldn't have a job if he didn't have a big and fat dimpled ass!"

    Then the worst possible scenario took place.

    Ric Flair: "I got Big Show"

    If you heard a "Fuck no!!!" shake your house at that moment, I'm sorry. I thought to myself "Yeah, you sure showed him!! You just picked up a fat-ass piece of shit who wouldn't have a job if he wasn't damn near 8 feet tall!"

    Those were two picks that were just wasted. Then you throw in the Mark Henry, Maven and Lita pics...what have you got? 5 slots that could and should have gone to other people.

    Oh well, the good thing is that I don't have to bear witness to the stinkface anymore because I don't get Smackdown. Nor do I have to watch the World Wrestling Federation turn into World Wide Faggotry when Chuck and Billy come out to defend their titles.

    I do like my boy Tito's idea about an annual draft of OVW wrestlers though. That would bring a fresh amount of interest each year as well as a new breed of potential.

    The one thing that pisses me off the most is that Rock went to Smackdown, therefore by default, shouldn't Raw get Austin? That's just my opinion and my next question.

    What do you think about the Austin situation?

    First and foremost let me remind you that all we know is what others have said. Neither you or me is backstage at any time, so we don't really know what the fuck is going on back there. All you can do is assume things, but what happens when you assume?

    That's right boys and girls, you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me". Now then, I believe that Austin has his reasons and that he is justified in refusing to return. How would you feel if you were one of the reasons that the WWF stayed alive during the Monday Night Wars and then be asked to job to a guy with the reputation like Hall's?

    Let's say Austin went with the plan and jobbed to Hall. Now let's say the next week Hall was strolling home from another night out with the Godfather and he gets arrested for public intoxication or whatever, the point is that he gets arrested. Hall is now fired from the WWF.

    Doesn't Austin look like a chump now? He has no opportunity to get his heat back ever again. He just took a shot in the mouth from both Vince and Hall. He can still taste...well you get the point.

    So does he have a right to be pissed off? To quote the man himself, "oh hell yeah." My guess is that he'll go to the Raw side, but somehow be able to go on both shows simply because he's Austin.

    When do you think Stephanie will return?

    As soon as she can find a great storyline to interrupt, she'll be back. At most, I give her two months.

    Okay, let's move on to random stuff.

    Eddy G is possibly heading back to the WWF, oh whoopee! That's just what the WWF needs, another alcoholic in the bunch. Hey, he's kind of old, an alcoholic...why not stick him in the nWo?

    Why the hell is Triple Aids the undisputed champion? I mean besides the fact that he still flies the single-engine Sessna into Stephanie's Grand Canyon like a poon terrorist. We all knew this day would come as soon as he made his return.

    As soon as he won the Royal Rumble, everyone and their mother already envisioned the conclusion to WM X8. In my opinion, it made for a match with no surprises because we all knew what the outcome was going to be.

    I know I'll probably catch heat for ragging on him, but I'm not a wrestler and he can't bury me in his meetings, so fuck it.

    Was Jericho injured? Nope. Triple H is having to work through his knee problems and he hasn't put on a decent match since his return, as we all can see. He's not 100%, yet he's still the champion. How in the hell is he supposed to work 2 different shows? I read that because he's nailing Stephanie and has his Kliq buddies back that he's now a main source of power backstage.
    The way I see it, if Stephanie ever really does have HHH's baby, that baby will probably win the a title by the time he/she's 5. If it is a girl, she'll probably be the first ever female undisputed world champion.

    With that, I'm going to call it a column for this week. As always, thanks for reading. If you want to drop a line the e-mail addy is at the top and bottom. Also, you can contact me through AIM at Jaysus0Christ.

    Koltershock: An educating experience!

    Jay




    *NEW GALLERY* Must See LEAKED Photos of Velvet Sky! AMAZING!

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