WWF Raw Results 3-25-02
Submitted by Steven “Rommel” Schaeffer on Monday, March 25, 2002 at 11:49 PM EST
Raw Report - Live from State College, Pennsylvania - 03-25-02
By Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer
Jerkin' the curtain - Tonight the world changes! The split, the possible end of Stephanie, less bold tags, and the draft which will decide the way wrestling is scripted from here on in. The show starts with Linda explaining how the draft will work, via video, to the amassed roster. In the interest of fairness only twenty wrestlers will be drafted tonight, with the rest going by a lottery system. Due to the triple threat match tonight HHH, Jericho and Stephanie are not eligible for the draft. Due to a contractual clause, Stone Cold is also not eligible for the draft and is declared a free agent. So cue the damn music and the video clips! Hype the crowd and show the main event: A Triple Threat - Stephanie vs. Jericho vs. HHH. What's on the line in that match, the Undisputed Title and Stephanie's career. Kick things off with Tazz's music please...
Match #1 - Tazz vs. Mr. Perfect
Highlights/Notes - Tazz comes out to his new Forceable Entry cut while JR and The King talk about how great Steve Austin is. Hennig takes the Mic and tells the crowd that the people were going to see the "Perfect Pick" before sucker punching Tazz. Tazz quickly reverses chops in the corner by Perfect with kicks. Perfect retakes control with a thumb to the eye. After an Irish whip to the ropes Tazz bends over for the back body drop but Hennig cartwheels out of it. A hand on the rope defeats a Perfect-Plex and the match goes back to the corner.
Finish - Sloppy offense in the corner from both leads to Hennig trapped in the Tazzmision, and the tap out. Tazz takes the stick and tells the crowd that the "Perfect Pick", just became "Just another victim".
Kickin' it backstage - Arn and Ric Flair are shown in his "War Room" talking about what they are going to do. Cut to Vince staring at a number of folders before leaving the room seemingly ready to make his first choice. The picture inside the open folder on his desk is of Kurt Angle. Commercial time.
WWF Advertisement - We come back with the Forceable Entry CD commercial, followed by the WWF Live! Spot.
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Vince comes out to the podium set up atop the stage. He talks about having the #1 pick for his show, WWF Smackdown. And so he chooses: The Rock (1). It cuts to the Rock walking towards the screen and a brief on screen bio of Mr. Johnson. Rocky's music hits and he comes out. Vince tells the guys in the truck to cut the music. Rock is told on Smackdown is never puts his hands on Vince, never to say he will "Put his foot up someone's candy ass", and never to say "It doesn't matter". It matters to Vince, that he and his friend Hogan have a lot in common: Massive Egos. Vince says he made Hogan, and that he made the Rock. Vince tries to leave with a little known comedian (Bill Cosbey) in that "He took him into the world, and he can damn sure take him out." Rock takes the mic, and tells everyone what state he is in. Rock talks about how he is being taken from Raw, and since he'll never be back he wants to go out with a bang. Rock talks about his history on Raw, about how it was where he won the Title, formed the Rock & Sock connection, shoving Vince's face up Rikishi's ass. So Rock asks if Vince really wants to take Rock away from Raw, but Vince doesn't answer because, heck, it doesn't matter what he wants. Rock reminds Vince that he didn't make Hogan, he didn't make the Rock...heck, Rocky's parent's genitalia didn't even make the Rock! Yes, the people made the Rock. Rock talks about the local sports teams. Rock plays on a local reference then, making one half of the crowd say "You are" and the other half chant "Asshole". The music hits, but Rock tells them to cut his music. As it is his last appearance on Raw we end like this: "If you smeeeeeeeeell..."
Kickin' it backstage - Ric Flair, smiling, walking towards the camera for his first round drat pick. And now a word from our sponsors.
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Ric's music hits and he gets right to it. His first round drat pick is the Undertaker [1]. And so he leaves the back room where the boys have gathered (After throwing a few chairs around) and walks to the front.
Kickin' it backstage - Vince is seen in his war room, upset. In walks Kurt, complaining about how Mr. McMahon hurt his feelings. Vince says Flair "Through him a swerve" The Undertaker storms in, pissed as well and wants to know what Vince is going to do about it. He gives his word that he'll fix things. 'Taker tells him this better be the one time he keeps his word. Cue Rob Zombie.
Match # 2-Edge/DDP vs. Christian/Booker T
Highlights/Notes - Edge comes in to highlights of Booker T getting his win back last week. DDP enters next, to a good reaction. His entrance can't compare with the Tito Ortiz "inspired" Christian shower of sparks. We see clips of William Regal beating Paige for the Euro strap with help of Christian and brass knuckles. Another pyro-laden entrance hits with Booker T's flames. Edge and Booker to start, good crisp action with Christian quickly coming in against his, *ahem*, brother. Edge plays the face in peril momentarily before getting a spinebuster and tagging in Paige. Clotheslines for everyone and Christian gets knocked outside. Booker knocks him into Christian though, who stun guns him. DDP still ends up hitting the Diamond Cutter but Christian makes the save and hits a unprettier for good measure. Edge takes both he and his... yeah... brother outside leaving a revived Booker in with DDP
Finish - The axe kick finished the faces for the 1,2,3.
Kurt Angle is seen reading the statistics on back of his autograph picture. Vince worries that Flair will choose his NWO (something he should want) but Kurt reminds him that he doesn't want poison. Kurt says he doesn't want to work for Ric Flair, he wants to work for Vince. Why? Because he likes him! Vince nods in agreement and chooses Kurt Angle (2). He seems happy, until he realizes he should have been chosen first.
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Flair is out to the podium without music, and declares that he will work as diligently as he can to the WWF Raw brand. In the meanwhile, he tells the audience that his second pick is the NWO [2]. Kerblink. There are the collective bios of Hall, Nash, and XPac on screen.
Kickin' it backstage - Back in Vince's War Room, where he screams at Kurt for screwing him out of his NWO and the Undertaker. Vince promises to get Stone Cold. Kurt tells Vince to get someone to swerve Flair, someone who has been gone for sometime. But he's coming back bigger, faster, and better then ever. So Vince chooses Chris Benoit (3)! We cut too commercial before we can really hear if he gets a big pop or not. It seemed decent.
Advertising yourself on... yourself - Does a Scorpion King ad in the middle of break count?
Kickin' it backstage - When we're back we see the NWO rather pissed at Ric Flair, with XPac playing the mouthpiece. Flair tells them that he refuses to let Vince lead the poison of the WWF. Nash disagrees, and that they only listen to Vince. Arn interrupts, and they seem upset he wants to blow them off. Flair announces that his next pick is Kane [3]. They leave, and Flair notes the temperature changed a bit with that. Trish Stratus music takes us back to the ring.
Match #3 - Trish Stratus vs. Ivory
Highlights/Notes - Trish misses a kick to start, but Ivory sells anyway. Ivory takes control with a chin breaker only to eat a high back body drop. Forearms lead to the corner and a few chops from Trish. Trish is Irish whipped but jumps to the second rope for a corkscrew, which misses. Seizing the oppertunity Ivory goes for a nasty looking nose-grab and choke submission next. When that doesn't work she slams her down and goes to the top rope. Trish hand springs forward, catches Ivory with her legs and pulls her off the top with her feet. >From there she picks her up for her springboard finisher.
Finish - Stratusfaction leads to the pin
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Vince is out, and the Rock's newest crowd manipulation is already taking effect. Vince nearly leaves before announcing he chooses Hulk Hogan (4). Voodoo Child (With Vince playing air guitar and posing) plays, but no Icon cometh.
Advertising yourself on... yourself - Forceable entry followed by Diva's in Hedonism
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Ric takes no time telling the crowd he picks the Intercontinental Champion, Rob Van Dam.
Kickin' it backstage - Vince is upset that he didn't get RVD, the IC champion. Kurt says that he'll get the belt for Smackdown tonight! Vince thinks that maybe he should have picked Angle first.
Kickin' it backstage - Hogan meets Rock in his dressing room. He talks about how the people made him too. He runs down the events on Smackdown. He proposes Rock/Hogan vs. NWO for their last hoorah on Raw. Rock runs down the idea, and asks what the NWO is going to do when the Rock and Hulk Hogan runs wild on you? Hogan says they are going to lay the Smackdown on their candy asses!
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Vince goes to the podium, and chooses Billy and Chuck (5). They celebrate with Rico before running around aimlessly to their music and bio.
Kickin' it backstage - The NWO get ready for their just announced handicap match by walking forward, very very slowly.
Advertising yourself on... yourself - WWF Raw for the XBox and then TNN seems to suffer a stroke. Seriously, it's left side has gone limp, it's drooling and talking like a retard! Did anyone else have the feed cut here? Okay, I'm going to continue to type without a purpose until AH! It cuts back momentarily in the middle of the Lugz Boot of the Week. Then they reshow it, being the Rock power bomb and the Hogan walk in.
Match #4 - The Rock/Hollywood Hulk Hogan vs. The NWO
Highlights/Notes - Voodoo Child is like the best entrance theme ever. Odd, Hogan's pop has died quite a bit since last week. Maybe it was because it was Canada? Rock's appearance gets a better reaction, but I think all these backstage segments have simply killed the crowd. Go to black and white and proof positive that the WWF production team rules all when the NWO enters. Hogan, a white man who is darker then Rocky, starts off against XPac. Well, the crowd is alive enough to chant "XPac Sucks". Hulk tosses him out like a rag doll, so Hall gets tagged in and he too is overpowered. So the seven footer Nash comes in. They stare off to start, and lock up. Now Hogan is overpowered. On the bottom of the screen during Nash's crappy offense is a ticker of the draft picks. Hogan mini-hulks up, and destroys all three members of the NWO. It doesn't last, as Nash hits an elbow on Hogan when he goes for a back body drop. In comes XPac, for some light quick pounding on Hollywood. Scott comes in, and they go for the standard double knock down on a double clothesline. In comes Rock a-house-a-fire to pick on Nash, Hall and XPac. After tossing XPac out Nash eats a Rock Bottom. Hogan begs for the tag, he hits the leg drop but XPac jumps in time to stop the count. The three beat on Hogan and Rock (XPac has nunchucks) before the flames hit.
Finish -Kane comes down to beat the NWO and earn the DQ for Rock and Hogan. Hulkster seems surprised, so I guess that in all these years he hasn't read the rulebook. Even though they lost, play Kane's music. Cut to commercials while hyping the main event... now.
Kickin' it backstage - Vince storms into, yes I know it's happened a lot tonight, and is pissed at Flair's theft of his wrestlers and how he sent Kane out. Flair tells Vince that he doesn't answer to anyone anymore! And so he picks Booker T (5). So Vince counters with Edge (6)! And Flair chooses The Big Show (6)... and Vince chooses Rikishi (7). Vince pushes Ric but Arn holds him back from retaliating. The Hardyz music hits.
Match #5 - Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn
Highlights/Notes - Jeff Hardy is accompanied by Matt and Lita, they now where jackets that glow in the dark completely, but seem to dislike the entrance. Billy comes down with Chuck and Rico, who seems just thrilled to be doing this. More tickers at the bottom as Billy controls to start. But as always Billy misses the splash in the corner, allowing a flying clothesline and a split leg ball drop. Jeff hardy is hit by a spinebuster (Which I suppose was intended to a DDT I think) and yet gets up first. He climbs to the top and kicks off Chuck's inference attempt. Matt pulls him away. Jeff misses the Swanton and the camera cuts to Rico going for the belts. Lita is on the ring apron and the two screw up the Litacanrana very badly.
Finish - While Billy watches Lita and Rico screw up their spot very badly Jeff hits to rollup for the cheap pin. As they celebrate we hype RVD vs. Kurt Angle! Later. Then the Triple Threat Main Event! Also Later. But the Commercials...? Now!
Advertising yourself on... yourself - Stacker 2 weight loss pills being sold by an overweight Big Show. A new, and really cool, WWF Live
Kickin' it backstage - Flair takes the most dominant team in history, so he picks Bubba Ray Dudley (7). Shoot to Vince's War Room, with him picking Dvon (8)! We show the roster, with the Dudleyz saying goodbye to one another before their Bios hit. To steal from Family Guy, "Play that sad walking away music from the Incredible Hulk". Nah, play Rikishi's music instead.
Match #6 -Rikishi vs. William Regal
Highlights/Notes - This never gets underway, as Brock Lesnar hits the ring to KILL Rikishi. No, I don't care that wrestling is fake. Oh my God! A spinebuster, a TKO! Jesus Christ. Heyman holds his MONSTER'S hand up as we cut to break.
Finish - No contest... but TNN does briefly spazz out again. Have I mentioned Brock Lesnar scares me?
Kickin' it backstage - Jazz is shown from WWF NY. She says that she is just waiting to see where the WWF Divas end up, because she wants to get in the ring and mess up their pretty little faces. And if people want to call her a bitch, that's fine, because she's the only bitch appearing on both shows!
In Ring Segment/Stage/Production - Vince comes to the podium, and the crowd lets him know he's an asshole. Vince chooses the man they just saw: Brock Lesnar and Flair is right behind him to inform him it is not McMahon's turn. McMahon tries to weasel out of that fact but Flair tells him that he is getting Brock Lesnar (8). Vince counters with the man of equal potential, Mark Henry (9). Oh dear sweet Jesus that's the worst choice ever! I don't care if you want my opinion or not I mean please God not Mark Henry! Flair takes William Regal (9). Vince takes Maven (10) and the Hardcore Championship division with him. Flair takes Lita (10) for his last pick. Vince says Flair is going to use Lita to turn Raw into a cesspool. And that his crew will destroy the nature Boy's at anytime. Flair cues the audience to call Vince an asshole, and they do.
Advertising yourself on... yourself - The Scorpion King and TBS Stacker 2.
Match #7 - RVD (C) vs. Kurt Angle for the Intercontinental Championship
Highlights/Notes - Kurt Angle and a chorus of "You Sucks" and RVD with a chorus of his name. Angle starts off with a suplex and a pin attempt. He goes Olympic on his ass, but RVD flips over Angle when he goes to a slam in the corner. A sidekick doesn't hold momentum for long, as RVD quickly gets a belly to belly overhead suplex and then a flurry of kicks. Rob tries to hit a front kick and is caught. His enziguri is dumped to, prompting another belly to back suplex. RVD muscles out of another though, and hits rolling thunder. Back and forth action leads to Kurt being down, and Rob going up top. Angle rolls out and reaches for the belt but RVD catches him first and throws him inside. He goes up top for the flying sidekick but Kurt pulls the ref in front. While RVD attends to the official Angle his the Olympic Slam and the Ankle Lock.
Finish - When the ref comes to he rings the bell, but no winner is announced. Edge runs down to attack Angle, but his spear is leap frogged so he comes face to face with the turnbuckle, and so he then meets a German suplex. Edge does eventually hit the spear and as they roll around on the ground the zebra's hit the ring to separate them.
Kickin' it backstage - Michael Cole interviews Stephanie's boobs. They say she isn't going anywhere, and will be on both shows as the Undisputed Champion. Cut to commercials while I swear to never watch wrestling again should that happen.
Match #8 - Stephanie vs. Jericho vs. HHH (C) for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship
Highlights/Notes - Stephanie first, Y2J second and the Champion third. As Jericho comes down I realize he didn't get interviewed for his title match, but Stephanie gave us one. By the way, JR has said that he smelt a rat concerning this match during every segment of the show. Hunter gets one of the few good pops of the night. He wears the WWF strap and holds the WCW one. Jericho gets a back body drop to start the match off, but soon comes back with chops and a clothesline outside the ring for Hunter. Stephanie lays down inviting Y2J to pin her, but HHH pulls him out. He goes for the pedigree but Jericho pulls her out next. HHH gets sick of it and goes out to lay them both out. Steph is soon cowering in the corner with Jericho running in to attack Hunter. He quickly takes control and slingshots Jericho into the corner... onto Stephanie. He walks backwards and she falls into his crotch. Stephanie did a spot! Soon Jericho and Stephanie have control, with the Billion-Dollar Princess elbowing her ex-husband repetitively. Jericho has Hunter's leg coiled but is kicked off into Stephanie again. She gets mad and slaps him, so he shoves her down and now the three way becomes legit. Jericho hits the face buster but misses the lionsault, so Stephanie pins him. Blissfully he kicks out, gets up and puts her in the liontamer. HHH makes the save and tosses Jericho out. Hunter has Stephanie ready for the double under hook butterfly pile driver but in is Chris with the missile dropkick. The big spot comes when Jericho and Hunter knock each other out with the two belts and Stephanie runs in to try and pin them each in turn. Both attempts fail. She screams for HHH to get up, so he does and clotheslines her. Y2J is up to get the lionsault. He can't reach the ropes, so Stephanie jumps on his back to break it up. She gets punked up so HHH can deliver the pedigree onto Jericho. Stephanie breaks the pinning situation, which pisses the company's top face off.
Finish - Stephanie takes an AA Spinebuster from HHH, without popping out of her dress, and gets pinned. Hunter celebrates with his foot on her chest before she awakens miraculously and clutches the ring. Not selling the finish at all the event crew has to literately drag her away kicking and screaming. Well, it is the angle I guess. HHH takes the stick... "Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey! Goodbye!"
Running on borrowed time - We fade out being told the lottery continues on WWF.com tonight!
Statistics -
Matches # - 8
Draft Order:
(Smackdown - Vince)
1. Rock
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Benoit
4. Hulk Hogan
5. Billy and Chuck
6. Edge
7. Rikishi
8. Dvon Dudley
9. Mark Henry
10. Maven
[Raw - Flair]
1. Undertaker
2. NWO
3. Kane
4. RVD
5. Booker T
6. Big Show
7. Bubba Ray Dudley
8. Brock Lesnar
9. William Regal
10. Lita
Match Results -
Tazz D. Mr. Perfect via submission
Christian/Booker T D. Edge/DDP via pinfall
Trish Stratus D. Ivory via pinfall
The NWO D. Hogan/Rock via DQ
Jeff Hardy D. Billy Gunn via pinfall
Rikishi vs. William Regal to a no contest
RVD (C) vs. Kurt Angle for the Intercontinental Championship to a no contest
HHH (C) D. Stephanie and Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Heavyweight Championship via pinfall
Hate Mail
You've gotta stop with the wise ass comments and personal insight. If you
want to write a collum, there is a forum for that. Otherwise, stick to
the straight reporting. By far, yours is the most annoying thing on the
LOP site. If you want a template for how to do it right, look at the guy
who does the SmackDown review.
=====
G.B.A.
Oh my God! I have a reader that is a Game Boy Advance! That's fricken awesome. Hey man, you rule! Though could you help me, I'm stuck on the final mission of Advance Wars. Thanks for reading o' product of Nintendo!
Fan Mail
Congratulations!
Just wanted to quickly congratulate you on your column. Finally an actual
humorous in-depth breakdown of a RAW event!!
Apart from a fantastic breakdown of every segment and match, we are treated
to an actual "intellectually witty" synopsis of the show, complete with
"run-downs" and jibes directed toward wrestlers and Co. that are well
deseved ( i.e. Nash, Linda, Steph etc )
Keep it up man. Love the read!!
Graeme
Well deserved? What the hell is wrong with you moron? I have no right to poke fun at these people. Who the hell do I think I am? These geniuses of the ring have provided untold hours of entertainment to you people for free and I have the nerve to insult them... Excuse me... I have something my eye! I'm crying here, damnit, I'm crying!
'I Really Have No Idea' Mail
As the webmaster of the site i been reading so long,
i must adress the current RAW results writer that "rommel" guy
he is just TERRIBLE!!!
his results are a childish column written ripoff of a mr tito column
which have nothing to do with a recap of monday's show which i cant see
live over here so i have to read the results.
if i wanna read the opinion on how bad the wwf was this week i'll read and
enjoy my daily version of what tito writes, but today i dont have to cause
that was already spoilt in a story where somewhere in between u could actually
search for who won on raw.
Please, make ur results, results again, yhis wasnt even funny, and very
tough to read,
ys.
matt (apocalypse)
the netherlands.
You idiot! I'm not a Mr. Tito rip-off. Why, anyone with a brain can surely see I'm a Bryan Alvarez rip-off. Thanks for reading.
Steven "Rommel" Schaeffer
GeekMecca.com
*NEW GALLERY* Brooke Hogan BOUNCING AROUND With Her New Toys! MUST SEE!
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