WWF Classics Report 3-25-02
Submitted by Segaboyno on Monday, March 25, 2002 at 2:29 PM EST



Hi and welcome to this weeks WWF Classics report. The first annual Survivor Series has now come and gone with nothing of real importance happening, and the upcoming episodes of Wrestling Challenge will now focus on promoting the upcoming Slammy awards show. Without any further hesitation then, let's go back fifteen years in time and enjoy some real action!

Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan are our ever-lovable hosts, and take pleasure in welcoming us to this week's show, held in the Omaha Civic Auditorium once again. Heenan is once again wearing a neckbrace, so unless this is a repeat, I want to find out why. But first the music introduction is played, and on today's show will be Brutus Beefcake vs. Greg Valentine, along with Jake Roberts, Rick Rude, The Hart Foundation, Don Muraco and Ted DiBiase.

But before we head to the first match, Monsoon insists that we see exactly why Heenan is wearing a neckbrace, much to his displeasure. We go to footage from Saturday Night's Main Event where Hulk Hogan is taking on King Kong Bundy, and whilst Heenan prevents Hogan from climbing back in the ring, he gets booted in the face for his efforts. Hogan then lifts Heenan up and drops him in the ring, thus aggravating the injury.

Match #1
Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Omar Atlas
Heenan is not accompanying Rude because doctors have informed him to stay away from the ring, and that he is in no condition to be involved in the action. Atlas rolls up Rude before the bell sounds and manages to score a two count, before unloading on Rude with right hands. He gets clotheslined down by Rude shortly after though, as wee see the cover of the new WWF magazine, with Ted DiBiase and Virgil featured inside. Rude bodyslams Atlas, and then follows this up with a suplex. He scores a two count before Atlas, and continues by delivering an elbow. Monsoon begins to talk about the upcoming Slammy awards, and we are notified that Rude has been nominated for "best body" award, as has Jesse Ventura and Paul Orndorff. Rude delivers an atomic drop but decides not to register the pinfall, as he delivers another clothesline. Rude rams Atlas' face into the mat, and locks Atlas into the backbreaker for the submission. After the bell, Heenan gets hold of a Paul Orndorff figure, and stretches it in many awkward directions. Match rating: *
Winner - Ravishing Rick Rude via submission, at 01:47

The Special Report with Craig DeGeorge is up next, and he says that Ted DiBiase has been causing much confusion. In an interview last week, DiBiase says he plans on buying the WWF Title, and we are informed that he wasn't actually joking. President Jack Tunney has yet to speak on the matter, but is investigating the legal aspects. As usual, Hulk Hogan was not available for comment. After this clip, much merriment ensues throughout the show in which many are upset by the harsh actions of DiBiase.

Match #2
Jake "The Snake" Roberts vs. Barry Horowitz
The bell sounds and they lock up, which results in Jake winding up the arm of Horowitz. He fights back with some lefts and rights, as we are informed that in the animal category at the Slammy's, Jake's pet snake Damien will be a nominee, as will Matilda. Horowitz has backed Jake into a corner, but gets caught by a clothesline, a DDT, and this is over very quickly indeed. After the bell, Jake unleashes his snake in typical fashion. Match rating: DUD
Winner - Jake "The Snake" Roberts via pinfall, at 00:56

Craig DeGeorge is standing by with a discussion regarding the tag team division, and introduces Jim Powers and Paul Roma, better known as the Young Stallions. They remind us that Strike Force are the new tag team champions, but they would like to get their hands on the Hart Foundation once again. Powers says that they are happy for Strike Force, and Roma says they'd enjoy having a match against them. Powers says that their teamwork has improved considerably, and they're getting more and more experienced as the days go by.

Craig DeGeorge is now standing by with Slick, who doesn't appear to be impressed by Ted DiBiase's threats to buy the WWF Title. Slick is extremely upset, and believes that his men should be champions. As he would do.

Match #3
Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Jesse Ventura is conducting an interview with Greg Valentine before the match, and he says that he is excited that his new manager is Jimmy Hart. To remind you all, Beefcake and Valentine are former tag team champions if i am not mistaken, as the Dream Team. But for now, they are up against each other, in a match that took place on Saturday Night's Main Event. The bout is joined in progress, and Valentine is attempting to apply the figure four leglock, but gets booted away by Brutus. At ringside, Jimmy Hart has to be prevented from taking Brutus' scissors by the man himself, and Valentine then elbows Brutus down in the middle of the ring. He goes for another figure four but is kicked away once again, as Beefcake once again warns Jimmy Hart to stay away. Valentine delivers a snapmere takedown and once again goes for the figure four, and is again booted away. Valentine attacks Beefcake whilst he is occupied with Hart, and the two superstars begin exchanging blows. The referee ends up being taken down by both men who just want to beat the hell out of each other, and we cut to a clip in which Brutus has the sleeper hold applied to Valentine. The referee is still out cold, and Hart grabs the scissors and attempts to nail Brutus from behind, but he gets caught just in time, and Brutus tosses Hart through the middle rope to the outside. Valentine is now up again, and snaps Brutus down, before finally achieving his goal of locking in the figure four leglock. We have another cut by the production team, and Brutus is trying to escape the same move, by grabbing his scissors. He finally does get them which forces Valentine to retreat, and we then see Brutus being helped to the back, suffering from a leg injury, presumably. No official decision is made, although I would guess that it was called as a double disqualification due to their previous antics. Match rating: **
Winner - Double DQ, at 02:29 (match shown in highlight form)

Craig DeGeorge is standing by with the WWF Womens Champion, Sensational Sherri. She defeated The Fabulous Moolah for the belt via pinfall, and is awfully proud of doing this. Sherri says that she is the greatest of all time, and says that Rockin' Robin really has no chance in defeating her, nor does the Moolah. Sherri then says that the Moolah is sitting home knitting and making cookies for the other contenders. Who would've thought that Moolah would still be employed by the WWF in 2002?!

The 37th annual Slammy Awards are coming on December 19, 1987, and Monsoon is very excited by this news. Who isn't?! (I'll do my best to get the results printed on this column in a few weeks readers!)

Match #4
King Harley Race vs. Jerry Allen
Heenan once again decides to stay in the commentators booth, to avoid risking any permanent damage to himself. The bell sounds and they lock up, with Race delivering a belly-to-belly suplex, and drops an elbow to follow up. Race delivers a bodyslam, and then picks up Allen and delivers a piledriver. Race then executes an overhead suplex, followed by a cradle suplex for the finish (also known as the perfect plex). Match rating: DUD
Winner - King Harley Race via pinfall, at 01:08

Craig DeGeorge is standing by in the arena with Danny Davis, and his manager, Jimmy Hart. Since Davis was barred for life as an official, he has become a wrestler, with questionable talents. DeGeorge then introduces Sam Houston for no real reason, and he performs a rather unique cowboy dance on the stage. Davis makes a few insults, and says that he really isn't impressed by him. Houston says that he is impressed by Davis' athletic ability, and thanks Davis for their recent match. Houston says that he whipped Davis' butt, but Danny says that he was lucky. Houston continues to say how he doesn't take his hat off for a man like Davis, but the former proceeds to slap it off his head anyhow. The go face to face and begin exchanging blows, and then roll around on the interview platform for a short while. The referees break it up, as Heenan insists that Houston is "looking for the door". Maybe a match between these two will take place in the near future?

Match #5
Don Muraco vs. Pete Sanchez
They lock up and Muraco backs Sanchez into the ropes, and after a clean break, they lock up again. Muraco delivers a backdrop, followed by a clothesline. We go to pre-recorded comments from Butch Reed who mumbles on about Billy Graham (more on him later), and Muraco then delivers a gut wrench suplex, and atomic drops Sanchez into the turnbuckle. Muraco goes to the top rope and rams Sanchez's head to the canvas, delivers a tombstone piledriver and scores the three count. Match rating: DUD
Winner - Don Muraco via pinfall, at 01:28

We go to comments from Demolition who are nominated for best video at the Slammy Awards, and warn Ken Patera and Billy Jack Haynes not to mess with them. The Demolition music video from the Piledriver album is then shown, accompanied by clips of their most brutal bumps in the ring.

Mean Gene Okerlund is now narrating a video package on Superstar Billy Graham, a former WWF champion. But then, he injured his neck and surgery was required, and doctors told him that he would never wrestle again. However, he made a miraculous comeback, which took an awful lot of hard work. Superstar returned to a huge pop, and we see him making easy work of his opponent upon his first match back. But in recent weeks, he was assaulted by Butch Reed and the One Man Gang, and was ruled out of the Survivor Series as a result. And now, he is faced with the most difficult decision of his life - hopefully, his career has been terminated.

Match #6
The Hart Foundation (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Scott Casey & Sivi Afi
The bell sounds and Neidhart takes down Casey, and rams his head into the mat several times. He then rams Casey's head into the turnbuckle, and clotheslines him down after he runs the ropes. Sivi Afi tags in and goes for a high cross body, but gets caught and Neidhart delivers a powerslam. We go to pre-recorded comments from the WWF tag team champions, Strike Force, who say that they are not going to run away from anybody, and that they are prepared for the Hart Foundation. Bret has tagged in and delivers forearms to the face of Afi, and he follows this up with an excellent piledriver. He rams Afi's head into the turnbuckle, and tags Neidhart back in. He bites Afi in the ropes, and Neidhart then drops Afi onto the top rope. Bret begins to choke Afi behind the referee's back, as Heenan declares that he works too damn hard for someone like Ted DiBiase to simply buy the belt - believe me, this was hot discussion throughout the show. Bret tags in and delivers some kicks to the midsection of Afi, as Neidhart reverses roles and takes his turn to choke Afi behind the referee's back. Bret returns, and as Neidhart hoists Afi in the air, Bret delivers the finishing clothesline. Match rating: *
Winners - The Hart Foundation via pinfall, at 03:18

Craig DeGeorge is standing around with Koko B. Ware and The Junkyard Dog, who have apparently formed some kind of tag team. Koko is excited because he has Frankie on his shoulder and the Dog on his side, and the fans are also behind him. JYD says that there are many tag teams in the WWF at the moment, but believes that his team are heading for glory at the top of the division. Koko says that they want to be climbing the mountain, and heading for the promised land. I always did wonder what he got up to with that bird.

That's it for today unfortunately, but on next week's show will be a bout between Danny Davis and Sam Houston, in addition to The Bolsheviks, Ted DiBiase, Koko B. Ware, The Junkyard Dog, Bam Bam Bigelow, and a whole lot more - which i'll believe when I see.

So i'll head off for now and return with a report on Easter Monday, the day after my birthday. Any special birthday greetings can be sent to Segaboyno@aol.com, or alternatively, AOL users can send me an instant message to username: Segaboyno (you guessed it!) Thanks for reading, and take good care of each other.








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