WWF Smackdown Results 3-21-02
Submitted by Mick on Thursday, March 21, 2002 at 10:20 PM EST



SMACKDOWN! on UPN report for 3/21/02
Report by Mick

{pre-show}

We begin with the unbelievable pop for Hogan at Raw and highlights of his match with the Rock at Wrestlemania intermingled with clips of RAW (the whole Hogan/Rock encounter and then the Hogan&Rock/nWo encounter).

{The Beautiful People, Show starts}

Live from the Corel Centre in Ottawa it's WWF SmackDown!

As we come on the air, we're told that the main event will be Rock vs. Kevin Nash.

Strike up the "You Suck(s)", 'cause here comes Kurt Angle to provide color commentary for the upcoming bout between Edge and Booker T, a return match from WMX8. Remember the good ole days when feuds ended at Wrestlemania and new, fresh feuds began afterwards? What's that you say? A shampoo feud is just too tantalizing to let go of? Well then, by all means, let's bring on....

Edge vs. Booker T
Ref: Teddy Long
Booker and Edge tie up, Booker with the early advantage, chopping Edge in the corner. Edge takes the advantage back, evading an irish whip and ends up on the top turnbuckle for a flying clothesline and a near fall. Continuing offense from Edge with a sideslam and a clothesline, but Booker T takes it back. Booker drops Edge into the sleeper hold while Angle makes us white boys proud busting out all those cool slang words and sounding oh so cool doing so. Edge takes the advantage back with an inverted atomic drop, but Booker counters, looking for the axe kick. Edge reverses and hits his russian leg sweep like move. Edge to the top rope, but Angle hopped up onto the apron to try and knock Edge off. Edge counters though, pushing Angle to the floor and then executes a flying cross-body from the top rope to the ground, taking out Angle, Edge back into the ring takes down Booker and gets a near fall. Booker goes to kick Edge but clocks Teddy Long instead. No sooner has Teddy's body hit the mat than Edge hits a spear on Booker and covers him for what appears to be a three count, but unconscious refs don't count pinfalls. They also don't issue DQs, so Angle jumps in the ring and hits Edge with the Angle Slam which Booker follows it up with the scissor-kick on Edge, Teddy Long struggles to his feet and counts Kurt Angle's "homey" to victory.
Winner by pinfall: Booker T


Hulk Hogan is shown backstage and who does he run into but Vince McMahon. Ooooo staring contest! Off with the sunglasses goes Hulk, but Vince breaks the silence.

VINCE: Well, I'll be damned! Why it's the Hulkster! The icon! The immortal Hulk Hogan! By the way pal, just for the record, I invented sports entertainment and I made you. I don't wanna talk about the past, but listen, every time you go into business for yourself you fall flat on your red and yellow ass. So you shouldn't have turned your back on the NWO, that wasn't cool, BROTHER. But, you know me, I'll let bygones be bygones. You see, I hold in the palm of my hand the number one draft pick this Monday and I was want to know if you wanna be the number one draft choice. I don't need an answer tonight, but think about it: Vince McMahon, Hulk Hogan working TOGETHER, with you taking direction from me and not going into business for yourself. Why don't you go ahead and take the night off to think about it? How's that sound

HOGAN: Well if it's all the same to you inVINCEible, I will thank about it, but I'll also hang around.

{Commercial...you know the Booker T Hungryman one that sets civil rights back 30 years SUCKA!}

APA backstage playing poker. Bradshaw asks William Regal to borrow five bucks. Regal asks "why so can you take it to the local strip joint and stick it down the kinckers of some dirty tart". Regal says he'll miss them. APA asks what he's talking about. He says haven't they heard about the draft and they said they've already been drafted...Farooq by the Cleveland Browns and Bradshaw by the LA Raiders. And they both like draft beer. Regal tells them to consider the fact that they may end up on different programs, and that would put the APA out of business. APA says that's ok, because if they do end up on different programs at least one of them will be on the same program as Regal and that means they will continue to kick his royal ass. Regal then goes to leave, but doesn't leave through the door and is chastised (this week's vocab word for you kids) by the APA. He walks out muttering under his breath and runs into DDP in an effort to squeeze nearly 100 years of age into one screen shot. DDP asks him why he's always so mad, spreading bad feelings everywhere. DDP then answers his own question, it must be because Regal lost the Intercontinental Title in front of 68,000 people at Wrestlemania. Regal says he's mad because a grinning buffoon like DDP is holding the European title, a title Regal once held with honor. So they set up a match for this evening, and when Regal loses, he'll forget all about Wrestlemania...that's a good thing. {and a good interview surprisingly. good character building for both and should hopefully be a good mix of styles}

Scott Hall is shown psyching up Kevin Nash. Hall says he's sick of Rock and Nash says he'll do what Hogan couldn't do at Wrestlemania, he'll kick the Rock's ass. The segment probably would have been longer, but Kev showed up late.

{Back from commercial, Tough Enough 2 is plugged}

Lita comes out to her new music with that weird blacklight enterance thingy which, along with the way she dresses makes it apparent that she REALLY misses 1982. Trish Stratus comes out next and we learn that this will be a tag team match. Ivory comes out with Jazz and let me be the first to say that I think Ivory got breast implants.

Tag Team Match: Lita & Trish vs. Ivory & Jazz
Trish scores the first near fall with a small package, but Ivory just basically leads the assault on Trish with your typical brawl type moves (kicks, punches, jumps, irish whips, chops). Trish reverses an irish whip with a flying cross body, but Ivory takes the advantage back with an impressive slam on Trish and then tags in Jazz. The best man to ever hold the Women's Championship (Harvey Whippleman excluded) comes in and continues the one-sided beating on Trish, taking a break only to knock Lita off the apron. Trish eludes a stinger splash (even though it's not a Stinger splash, 'cause she's not Sting) and tags in Lita who will apparently be playing the role of Bad Ass Billy Gunn as she comes in and destroys everyone, Trish then goes to the top and hits another cross body, but the count is broken up. Trish hits the Stratusfaction (which is pretty cool actually) and gets the pin.
Winners by pinfall: Trish & Lita


Backstage it's a Rob Van Dam interview.

Lilian Garcia: Congratulations Rob on your victory at Wrestlemania, capturing the Intercontinental Title.
RVD: In front of 70,000 RVD fans, that was cool.
LG: How do you feel about the draft coming up? Would you rather work for Ric Flair on RAW? or Mr. McMahon on SmackDown?
RVD: Hey, whatever. Of course they're both gonna want me to make their show better. But no matter where I go, I'm still gonna be Rob Van Dam.

{commercial}

We're shown a replay of Brock Lesnar's invasion on RAW.

As Regal makes his way out we're told that at the hands of Lesnar, Spike Dudley recieved a concussion at the very least.

EUROPEAN TITLE MATCH: Diamond Dallas Page (champion) vs. William Regal
Regal starts off with a side headlock and a shoulder block with three consecutive near falls. Regal works DDP into the corner, but DDP reverses into an irish whip and a back body drop. He follows it up with a neckbraker and a nearfall. He goes for the Diamond Cutter, but Regal crotches him and gives him a knee to the midsection and a pair of near falls. DDP fights back up, but a clever little drop toe hold by Regal gives the Brit control once more. Regal with a nice vertical suplex and then he hits that side sleeper drop thing that almost killed RVD at Wrestlemania. Regal plays to the crowd and DDP takes the advantage back with chops, a whip and a clothesline. DDP then hits a SIT DOWN POWERBOMB?! WHAT?! (not the Austin kind) DDP goes for the cover, Christian interferes with the count and distracts the ref, while Regal pulls out the brass knuckles and as DDP turns around he gets clocked by Regal. DDP goes down and Regal puts on the Regal Stretch. The referee checks Page's arm and he is unable to answer the three count and therefore submits by default (now how often does THAT happen?). Christian celebrates on the ramp as Regal is crowned European Champ for the third time.
Winner and NEW European Champion: William Regal

{commercial}

Countdown comes on, Jericho makes his first appearance before a crowd since Wrestlemania and he is inexplicably still with Stephanie McMahon. And, I'm sorry, but I am a bit skeeved out hearing Michael Cole call Jericho's arms naked. Note to WWF: Don't let Michael Cole refer to any male as being in any way shape for form naked...you already have Chuck and Billy.

JERICHO: {boos} Go ahead, enjoy it. This is what you all paid to see right? Chris Jericho without the undisputed championship. Enjoy it, take it all in 'cause it's not gonna last. Because on Monday night when Stephanie and I team up to beat the Game for the championship, I am gonna win and there's nothing that you people can do about it. I may have been robbed of my championship by HHH, but you people will not rob me of my dignity, my self-respect. In case you need a reminder - the man who beat the Rock and Steve Austin on the same night, that was Chris Jericho. The man who put HHH out for 8 months, that was Chris Jericho. The 1st ever Undisputed Champion? That was Chris Jericho. HHH beat me on a fluke, but he wants this match because he knows he cannot beat me twice. He wants to kick Stephanie out, but it's not gonna happen, because I will not allow such a terrible tragedy to happen. We need Stephanie McMahon in the WWF.

STEPHANIE: You need me!

{HHH's music}

JERICHO: You know what? I'm glad you came out here Hunter because on Monday I'm gonna finish off your leg, your career and take your championship.

HHH: First of all Jericho, Liberace called and said he wants his pajamas back (Jericho is wearing pink sequins). 2nd, did I hear you say we need Stephanie McMahon. You know what? Maybe you're right, maybe the WWF can never have enough lying, whining cuniving (sp?) bitches. Let's look at all the contributions Stephanie McMahon has made to the WWF.
{a 'hillarious' old time tv-style montage of Stephanie's Most Embarassing Moments is shown} You're right, Stephanie has been a barrell of laughs. Maybe the people Monday night were wrong, maybe we should ask again. Who thinks that Stephanie should stay? {boos} Who thinks she should leave? {the fans sing "Nanananana hey hey hey goodbye"}

STEPHANIE: Stop singing! You don't even know what you need!

HHH: Well, I guess that settles that. As far as you go Jericho, unlike my soon to be ex-wife at Wrestlemania, you did earn my respect. I can't take it away from you that you were the first ever undisputed WWF wrestling champion, but that doesn't mean that you were the best. YOu see, you went into Wrestlemania thinking that you were unbeatable, that you were the immovable object, but what you failed to consider is that I am an unstoppable force. After Monday, I will still be the WWF undisputed champion and Stephanie will be gone. Wrestlemania was the start of a whole new game and this game is forever.

STEPHANIE: You know Hunter, you really couldn't be more wrong. You think I haven't contributed to the WWF. Well I've got a big surprise for you. You won't be leaving Monday the champion and neither will Chris Jericho, it's gonna be me. I talked to daddy and he changed it to a triple threat. I know you'd be embarassed to lose to Jericho, but you'd be humiliated to lose to me. After Monday, not only will I not be leaving the WWF, but I will be the first ever female Undisputed WWF champion.


{commercial}


When we come back we're treated to another GOD AWFUL promotion of a UPN show by Cole and Lawler.

Jericho in the back, runs into Lilian Garcia.

LILIAN GARCIA: Your reaction seemed a bit peculiar.
JERICHO: You're peculiar (best response ever!) Stephanie...blah blah, he realizes that if he pins Stephanie and gets a whole lot happier with life in general.


Test vs. Tajiri for the Hell of it
Well because you probably care as little as I do, I'll just give you the highlights. Test starts off in control and gives a fairly decent beating to Tajiri for a near fall. Test misses a standing elbow drop and Tajiri takes control and NAILS Test with a back kick. Both men down for some reason. A little back-forth and Tajiri hits a nice tornado ddt. A few moves later it's the Tarantula and the Tajiri goes for a sunset flip, Test tries to reverse it, but Tajiri evades and kicks Test in the back of the head. Torrie to the ring apron, Test shoves her down but gets KICKED AGAIN for a near fall. Test goes for the powerbomb, Tajiri evades and the least impressive kick of the match, the big boot, takes down Tajiri for the 1-2-3.
Winner by pinfall: Test


VINCE: He looks ready, I've got a feeling that tonight the NWO is gonna make a statement. Kevin Nash is gonna step into the ring and the Brahma Bull is gonna be castrated.

HALL: Hey boss, aAbout the draft.

VINCE: Oh yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that, I've seen to it that that NWO will be drafted as a unit and I highly doubt that Ric Flair wants any more NWO poison.


{commercial}

Recap of Linda McMahon's non-sensical announcement and Vince and Flair's confrontation.

Former Hardcore champion The Hurricane makes his way to the ring to face former hardcore champion Mighty Molly in an intergender match that would make Andy Kaufman proud.

Intergender Match: Hurricane vs. Mighty Molly
They talk it out in the match, Molly puts her hand out, Hurricane accepts but Molly slaps him. Hurricane locks on a chokeslam, but refuses to go through with it. Molly attacks him again and takes it to him. Hurricane back body drops her to the floor and goes to the top rope to hit his move, but won't follow through with it. Then Brock Lesnar hits the ring with Heyman (who looks thinner) and decimates both Molly and the Hurricane.
No Contest

As we go to the commercial Undertaker is shown looking for Ric Flair's office.

{commercial}

Flair is talking to Vince's dialtone. Undertaker comes in and asks Flair how he's feeling. Flair says he's still here. Undertaker sees he's still here and he saw him put the Figure Four on Vince. Undertaker says he had the night off on Monday, but this is Thursday night and he's here and he needs a favor. He wants Flair to draft him because he wants every day of his life to be a Wrestlemania moment.

Billy and Chuck are backstage discussing whether or not they should have hired Rico.

RICO: This pathetic, an embarassment, SILENCE! These color schemes are passe, your headbands are crooked, how am I supposed to work with this. Full body makeover after you beat the Hardys.

BILLY AND CHUCK: He's tough, but he's the best.

{translation - developmental talent Rico Constantino is now Billy and Chuck's stylist/manager}

{commercial}

The Lugz Boot of the Week (didn't we alredy see this?) Stacy going through the table.

Jeff Hardy was wearing a paintball mask? I dunno...so confused, Hardys and Lita are just getting weirder.

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Hardy Boyz vs. Chuck and Billy (c) w/Rico
Referee: Nick Patrick
Matt and Chuck start it off. Matt with an early rollup and a near fall. Chuck tags in Billy and after the Hardys double team Billy, Jeff is tagged in. Billy hits a tilt-a-whirl slam on Jeff and tags in Chuck. Chuck then proceeds to no-sell Jeff Hardy's oxygen punches and Billy comes in for double team, but Jeff manages to dropkick both. Jeff tags in Matt and Matt lays everyone out. Jeff misses the poetry in motion, but manages to make it to the top where Billy pushes him to the floor. Matt hits that DEATH DEFYING 2nd rope legdrop on Chuck and goes for the cover. Rico throws Jeff back into the ring on top of the ref and interrupts the count. Billy hits the fame-asser for the win.
Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions: Chuck and Billy

{commercial}

MAIN EVENT: Kevin Nash w/Scott Hall vs. The Rock
Referee: Earl Hebner
Rock strikes first, but Nash levels him with a clothesline and an elbow to the back of the head. Nash continues to stay in control with right hands, but Rock tried to battle back. Nash no-sold and scooped Rock up on his shoulder and dropped him on the top turnbuckle. Nash then slung the Rock across the second rope and Hall choked him then Nash jumped on his back. As Rock got up, Nash distracted Earl Hebner and Hall clotheslined the Rock. Into the corner, Nash continued to dominate the Rock. Nash crotch chops and Rock fights back with a vengance but he soon gets thrown over the top rope. Nash follows him out and scoops him up. Rock escapes and drives Nash into the post, but Hall attacks Rock from behind. Back in the ring Nash hits a big sidewalk slam on Rock for a two count. Then Nash goes for the bear hug....GOOD GOD! THE BEAR HUG!!! We're told that Nash genuinely enjoys hugging the Rock...ok. After what seemed like an eternity, Rock battles back and hits a flying forearm and folows it up with a DDT. Hall hits the ring and Rock sends him to the outside. He then turns around and gives Nash the spinebuster and the People's Elbow. Scott Hall comes in and breaks up the three-count for a DQ.
Winner by Disqualification: The Rock


Hall goes for the Razor's Edge, but gets back body dropped to the outside...wow. Rock follows them out and goes to set up the announce table. Nash pursues and powerbombs Rock through the announce table. Hogan WALKS down and starts taking it to the NWO. Hogan gets Hall in the ring and gives him the big boot and the leg drop. Nash attacks from behind, but Hogan Hulks Up and hits the big boot and the leg drop. But X-Pac comes running in wearing NWO colors and clocks Hogan with a chair! Hogan is busted open as the Kliq, I mean the NWO use the chair to continue to decimate Hogan. X-Pac strips off Hogan's shirt and then tells Hogan he's "been waiting four years for this!" X-Pac spraypaints NWO on the back of Hogan while Rock lies in a pile of table. The NWO celebrates with their new member and the show goes off the air.


COMMENTARY:
This was a REALLY GOOD show. The wrestling was solid, even the Test vs. Tajiri match. Rico sounds like a bad idea but I'll give it a chance. Good development with DDP, Regal and Christian. The same goes for Brock Lesnar. Hurricane's segment seems to have set him up nicely for an underdog face run. HHH/Stephanie/Jericho was mildly entertaining, but as usual when Steph is involved, it could have been much better. Predictable as it was I have to admit that I really liked seeing X-Pac join the NWO and take on Hogan. I really hope they replay that shoot interview he gave on his first night back, the RAW after Wrestlemania XIV. All the WWF has to do is replay him saying "Hogan you suck..." and "Kevin Nash and Scott Hall would be standing right here with me, if they weren't being held prisoner". That gives the feud legitimacy to both the current fans and us old-school marks. This was the last full-brand SmackDown and it ended well in my opinion. We'll see what becomes of the WWF after the historic draft Monday night.


Any questions, praise, or desires to tell me that I suck at life can be sent to:

Mick
chrismc@bu.edu
http://www.lswrestling.cjb.net








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