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Posted in: Wayne's World
Wayne's World: What Does Everybody Want?
By zzzorf
Oct 21, 2012 - 7:40:08 AM

Welcome one and all to the column that knows firsthand when you see an ex-girlfriend during the day you are in for a long night of tortured dreams, my name is Wayne and you are now entering my world. As you all would of saw in my alter-ego The King of Stats latest column, TNA is a staple part of my wrestling diet. That means of course that this past weekend I joined many other Impactarians in watching the Bound for Glory PPV. Overall I thought the PPV was one of the best this year from either company but that is not what I am here to talk about though; instead I want to talk about the part of the show that made me mark out to a major extent.

Was it because 2 of my more favourite wrestlers from the early 00’s won TNA gold at the PPV with Hardy and RVD getting the job done? Well no, I have moved on from there and while I still enjoy them I believe there best is actually behind them.

Was it the revealing of Devon as the member of the TNA roster who had been letting the members of Aces & 8’s into the Impact Zone? Well no, in fact it actually took me a while for that entire particular scenario to click into place with me.

Was it the return of Matt Morgan? Well that did get a massive reaction out of me, but it wasn’t the biggest. I do however need to say #MorganForTNAChamp.

No the reason I marked out big time was because during the broadcast I got Head. Hey, get your minds out of the gutter, while that would have been great it is not what I meant. Instead what I meant was that in his match Al Snow produced his manager Head from under the ring, you know the female mannequin head that has Help Me written backwards on her forehead and has talked to Snow for most of his career. Yes that’s the Head I was talking about you sick, sick puppies.

So I guess you want an explanation why when all these other big things were happening like returning favourites, belt changes, storyline progression and good quality wrestling I was more moved by a mannequin head. Well damn you don’t ask much of me do you. It comes down to one simple thing; it was the return of something that had worked so perfectly at some stage of the history of wrestling.

Al Snow without Head was a good wrestler but whatever he tried to do beforehand just never seemed to stick. In his first run with the WWE he managed 4 different gimmicks in a two year span, none of which got him very far. It wasn’t until he went back to ECW and started to give himself a more crazy character did he really start to be recognised. By acting like a mannequin head was his manager it made the fans start to pay attention to a guy who could actually get it done in the ring. The more antics he did the more they ate it up and the more they paid attention to his matches. The WWE had to pay attention and they put him back on their TV playing that exact character.

I can remember back then that watching him and Head interact where some of the more funnier things I can remember from that time in wrestling and that’s saying something as the Attitude Era was known heavily for its humoristic approach. One of my fondest moments of that time was from King of the Ring 1998, one of my most watched PPV’s back in the day. No I’m not talking about the Hell in a Cell match between Undertaker and Mick Foley, even though that is my favourite match of all time. No I am actually talking about a match that happened earlier on the card which saw Al Snow in a tag match against Too Much with Head as his partner. This match culminated with Brian Christopher putting a bottle of Head and Shoulders into Head and therefore being able to pin her since she now had shoulders.

The humour was not the only great aspect of Head though; there was always the ability for merchandise purposes. Just the fact that you could possibly buy an exact replica of Head or even a Styrofoam one was enough for a lot of fans. When I was in my figurine collecting stage a few years back one of my most prized possessions was an Al Snow that came with Head. By just having that extra part to the figurine made me enjoy it so much more.

Snow is not the only person who has made a name for themselves by using an object as their manager/companion though. Both Santino Marella and before him Mick Foley became more famous by just putting a sock on their hands. Who can ever forget Perry Saturn and Moppy or Chavo Guerrero and Pepé? And hands up who remembers Pierre the Mouse Head? Oh wait that’s Al Snow again. It is truly amazing what a well done angle using an inanimate object can do for a career of a wrestler. Al Snow is a good example of that and so are the other names I just mentioned. You don’t however have to be playing some sort of crazy or comedic character though to pull it off, by just having it as part of your persona is just as fine too. I think back to what The Honkeytonk Man and Jeff Jarrett would have been like without their guitars or Triple H would have been like without his sledgehammer.

I think that is something that is missing a great deal from today’s wrestling, the ability for the performer to use something simple like a mannequin head and make something entertaining. Not including Santino I can’t think of anyone who really uses an object to their advantage consistently in this day and age. This could be all a wrestler might need to break the barrier holding them back from superstardom.

One person I think could benefit from having their own version of Head would be Drew McIntyre. We have seen him a few times now play a character that was on the verge of meltdown just for him to stop and return to normal. I say let him snap and start to talk to an object, I don’t care what the object, any will do. Add some humour in and people may actually start paying attention to someone who is actually quite capable of getting it done.

But that is of course wishful thinking on my behalf. Drew is currently Heath Slater’s sidekick in #3MB and I don’t see that changing any time soon. There are others however who are floundering as part of J.O.B. Squad 2012 who all it might take is a little bit of crazy talk from something that doesn’t actually talk to see them leave those jobbing days behind them. For now though all this is for us is mark out moments like we got at Bound for Glory and remembering the words to one of the best ever theme songs in wrestling history.

What does everybody want?

What does everybody need?

What does everybody love?

Thanx for reading,

Wayne Little

E-Mail: zzzorf@yahoo.com

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