Wayne's World: Sunday April 7, 2013
Dec 28, 2012 - 11:27:22 AM
Welcome back one and all to a column that knows first-hand how great it is to spend time with the family at Christmas time, my name is Wayne and you are now entering my world. So how was everyone’s festive season? I personally had a magnificent time as I took the family away for five days to my Grandparents house, the first time I have spent time with them at holiday time in nearly 20 years. However great a time I had though it had to come to an end and today we found ourselves once again back at home. After settling in I found myself itching to get back into my writing once again. I was planning on starting my work that I have set for January but I had one little drawback, the train that brought us home decided to keep two of our suitcases, which included the power cord for my computer and will not be able to return said suitcases until the next train comes back our way at midnight.
So here I sit here on my wife’s computer tonight without my stat work wondering what will I do to scratch my writing itch. That’s when I remembered a column that I wrote about this time last year (I think in late November) where I put forward a card for Wrestlemania. While fantasy booking is not normally my thing I would have to say that I had a ball writing that column so I have decided to do it again for you now.
This is how at the moment I would book Wrestlemania XXIX, the way I would like to see it unfold. Of course my tastes will be different than others so my match-ups may be a little bit different and I don’t expect the WWE to go ahead with many of my choices if any, hell last year I had Daniel Bryan winning both championships and unifying them thus upstaging The Rock/Cena extravaganza. I will put forward the matches as I would see them take place including the length of time the match would go and the eventual winner. I am of course restricted to the four hour time limit, of which I have to take into consideration things like entrances, promos and the HOF showing. Also I will only use wrestlers who I could safely presume would probably be available for the show. OK so let’s get to it then shall we.
Match 1: Cody Rhodes v Damien Sandow
As you can see for my first match we have the implosion of The Rhodes Scholars. At the beginning of their formation I believed that they were only a limited time pairing and I think Wrestlemania would be the perfect time for them to settle their score. The way that I see this match coming to fruition is by having them lose to Team Hell No once again when they get their shot at the titles they have earned and Sandow blaming Rhodes for the loss. In the Rumble match we could see Sandow toss Rhodes after blindsiding him when he wasn’t looking, then in one of the chamber matches Sandow once again gets the fall on an unexpecting Rhodes. By now Cody is a face looking for revenge on his double crossing partner. In fact the face turn could go either way with the positions reversed but I think Sandow has major potential as a big time heel and Rhodes could use the turn to rejuvenate a career that has become stagnant.
Winner: Sandow in 14 minutes
Match 2: The Shield & Brad Maddox v Kofi Kingston, The Miz, Alberto Del Rio & The Great Khali
For our multi-man match of the night I see The Shield playing part of it as a given and here I have team them with Maddox as part of Team Heyman to face your typical teaming of faces out to protect the WWE from the guys hell bent on causing chaos. This match is easy to book as all you have to do is have The Shield take out all of these guys leading up to the PPV and thus forcing them to band together to try to rid the WWE of them. If it came to it new members could even be added to either side to expand the match size like other nXt stars joining The Shield or even Big E Langston thus allowing names like Truth, Santino or Ryder to join Team WWE. I would have normally given this win to The Shield for momentum purposes but I have this tiny feeling that Miz is being groomed for a Taker like streak.
Winner: Kingston, Miz, Del Rio & Khali in 5 minutes
Match 3: Antonio Cesaro © v Randy Orton (US Title)
In putting this match together I think I actually found myself in the same place the WWE has found themselves in the last couple of years, finding most of the matches booked and having nothing to do with Randy Orton on the grandest stage of them all. On relooking over what matches I had done I found the perfect spot, Cesaro is a potential star of the future but has not really been tested as yet. Orton would be a great opponent to really test Cesaro out to see his potential for the future and could potentially put on a great match to boot. Seeing Cesaro cleanly pin Orton to retain his title would probably see his career move up a gear and honestly a loss won’t really hurt Orton’s career.
Winner: Cesaro in 11 minutes
Match 4: Ryback v The Big Show
Where can Ryback go after he finishes his run against Punk for the title? Having him face Taker crossed my mind but now that he is not undefeated the appeal of the Streak v Streak concept is null and void. Other potential opponents crossed my mind but in the end I settled on Big Show just for the dynamics that the match would have. Ryback needs to take a back seat for a couple of months while the Rock show is in town but he can’t lose momentum so he can move straight back into the title scene. The Big Show has been given the nickname the World’s Largest Talent Enhancer by fellow Lords of Pain columnist Mazza due to the amount of times he has lost big matches to help put over other talents and I don’t see this one being any different. I could have made this one for Show’s current title but I decided that it would be better suited in a match later on.
Winner: Ryback in 7 minutes
Match 5: Triple H v Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred)
I really don’t want to see this match on the card but in all honesty it is a feud which really is not ended and it adds extra depth to the card. I nearly added these two into my main event but decided that this would be a nicer fit in the long run. The story is easy to write as HHH is just out looking for revenge from what happened at Summerslam and by adding the stipulation it just allows them to do a little bit more. I thought about making it something like a Last Man Standing or an I Quit match but I did not want to over complicate the match too much.
Winner: Triple H in 16 minutes
Match 6: Team Hell No © v Rey Mysterio & Sin Cara (Tag Team Titles)
I have actually talked about my idea for this match before but I will explain it all again for you now. WWE have hinted that they want to try to break the record for the most people wearing masks in the one place at the one time and believe by having Rey v Sin Cara will do that. Other than the fact that I don’t want to see the Mexicans split up any time soon I see one major problem with this scenario, most adults, in particularly males, don’t really care for them. My suggestion is thus this match. Here you add in Kane’s mask as a choice and it could easily be written in somehow that Bryan starts wearing a mask, most probably a goat-like one. This thus gives 4 different masks for the crowd to choose from and more closer to giving them the record they are searching for.
Winner: Mysterio & Sin Cara in 12 minutes
Match 7: The Undertaker v Sheamus
Finding a good opponent for Undertaker was a bit of a hassle. Firstly so many names crossed my mind from Ryback to Wade Barrett to Brock Lesnar but eventually I settled on Sheamus. The reason I did this was because I was looking for someone who I would see as a threat to the Streak and turning the Irishman heel would be a perfect choice. While he is a face Sheamus is being booked as an unstoppable force but as a heel this is magnified immensely and with the exception of say Big Show, Ryback, Brock, Henry or Cena no one else is consistently booked that way. While I don’t see this being one of the masterpieces like the last four years I see major potential in this and a good showing hear against Taker could do wonders to further Sheamus’s career after the big year he had this year.
Winner: The Undertaker in 9 minutes
Match 8: Chris Jericho © v Dolph Ziggler (World Heavyweight Title)
Yes I know I have Jericho as champion in this match but here me out. I want to see someone cash in their Money in the Bank contract at Wrestlemania, both Mr Kennedy and Daniel Bryan said they would but it has never eventuated. Ziggler has the opportunity to do this as he still has the briefcase and is something that his Show Off persona demands of him. By seeing him cash in at Wrestlemania it would be the ultimate act of showing off and solidify the character he currently portrays. However Big Show currently has the title and quite honestly that was a match that I don’t want to see so I came up with something a little more interesting. We could have Ziggler make an announcement at the Rumble or even just after on Raw that he is cashing in his contract on the biggest stage of them all expecting it to be Show. However at the Elimination Chamber PPV Jericho fills the vacant sixth spot in the chamber thanks to Vickie reinstating his contract that he lost in the match against Ziggler all those months ago and proceeds to win the title. This sets up the rubber match of the feud and a potential match of the night candidate as well.
Winner: Ziggler in 23 minutes
Match 9: Eve Torres © v AJ v Layla (Diva’s Title)
Did somebody order a piss break? Before we get to the main event we better allow everyone to empty their bladders or something more private if they feel the need. While I would prefer a match with a bit more wrestling ability I would have to say that these three are easily the most attractive members of the roster for the last few years and Eve and AJ have easily been the top girls for the year. Then you add the idea of the celebration you would have with both Ziggler and AJ both winning their first major titles within minutes of each other and I think we have a winner here, can anybody say live sex celebration?
Winner: AJ in 5 minutes
Match 10: The Rock © v CM Punk v John Cena (WWE Title)
For the main event this year I am going to go with a Triple Threat Match that will see last year’s main event joined with the biggest star of the year. As you can see I have Rock winning the match at the Rumble and thus becoming champion once again. Punk finds himself in this match because of his rematch clause with The Rock not having defended the title at the Elimination Chamber PPV. Cena finds himself here because of the stipulation of him winning this year’s Royal Rumble. Now I can hear you all grumbling that Cena doesn’t need to win the rumble because he is bigger than that but quite honestly I think you would all grumble more if he was just handed the match and I don’t hear any of you say that Stone Cold Steve Austin was too big to win the Rumbles he won. If done correctly this match has Match of the Year potential and would be a fitting main event at the event. As to the winner I have to go Cena, firstly out of preference but also because of the future. This will lead to another feud with Punk but also a potential feud with Ryback when he slots himself back into the title picture with maybe even a clean loss to him to solidify the new mega-star of the company.
Winner: Cena in 25 minutes
Well everyone that is it, who did my card shape up? Would it be a PPV you would fork your hard earned cash out for or is it a disaster waiting to happen? What would you do to book it different? Should I get a slap across the wrist for leaving a certain wrestler of the card? Anyway that is all I have time for today but also is all I have time for this year. I will be back in January though with my new stat series so until then have a Happy New Year and I will see you all in 2013.
Thanx for reading,
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