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Posted in: Wrestling Rainbow
Wrestling Rainbow's Gone PG ~ Christmas Carols & Heartwarming Wishes [The Neutered List]
By SkitZ & His Homies
Dec 23, 2017 - 6:06:19 AM

Christmas Carols & Heartwarming Wishes
[ The Neutered List ]

Welcome back to the column that's parodied itself right into Calvin's clutches and Main Page probation - Wrestling Rainbow.

My colleagues and I may have gotten a rise out of our sophmoric Christmas column but it went over like a lead balloon with LOP's Lord Commander. That scary virtual voice in the sky laid down the law and threatened me with immediate termination if I didn't abide by the rules so now my every word's being monitored. SkitZ has been shackled, douched sanitized and hereby promises to be on his best behavior from now onnnnntil 2018. In the meantime however, we have several Rich Latte-sized wish lists to sift through (each purified and screened for expletives of course) so let's get chugging. Who drew the shortest straw? My guess is no one in particular...

Anonymous ~

This Christmas, I wish for people to give.

As you’re reading this right now, there are millions of people starving. There are millions of people who are drinking dirty water to survive. There are millions of homeless people. There are millions of people subjected to enforced situations, whether that be abusive marriages, slavery or being kept alive for sport. There are millions of people living with deadly diseases that can’t afford to get any sort of treatment.

So actually, my wish for Christmas is that you do something. My wish is that every person reading this column, actually thinks about if they can do something for someone less fortunate than themselves. Whether that be giving some money to a charity that saves lives, or whether it means calling a family member who’ll be alone this Christmas. If you can afford to get on an electronic device and get onto the internet to read this column, then you’re much better off than a lot of people. You might have time, money or freedom that others don’t. Look in a mirror.

The WWE does amazing charity work. It’s one of the big things that appeals to me about the Organization. Make a Wish, Connor’s Cure, The Special Olympics and many more. I wish for that to continue. I wish for the WWE to be known for being fundamentally decent and for doing good things. It will help me appreciate them more as a fan. And it will inspire their fans to make a difference.


TripleR ~

- A World Title run for Braun Strowman
- Lucha Underground to remain Must See TV in Season 4
- WWE Shop to make a Ruby Riot shirt for my kid
- A full-blown Hardy Family Compound reunion on WWE television
- Aleister Black be elevated to the Main Roster and be successful
- The Usos and the New Day to wrestle each other forever
- Impact Wrestling to finally go away
- A fun 2018 wrestling year as I near my 50th birthday
- Well wishes and joy to the entire LordsofPain family

SkitZ: Holy shit Jehoshaphat, you're about to turn 50!? If not for fear of a midlife crisis, I'd enforce the age limit.

But hey it's the holidays so what the hell. Stay limber, old man.


Rey Ca$h ~

So, it’s the wish column huh? Well, I wish I had the damn motivation to actually write again.

As far as wrestling is concerned, I really only wish one thing. I wish that fans learn to enjoy the product again. Whether it’s WWE, NJPW, ROH, or the Indies; it’s too much good wrestling out here to constantly find the negatives in everything. Unless it’s Impact. Because they suck. Like bad. Really bad.

Oh yeah, and I already got my wish of a formal Shield reunion this year, so I’m wishing for a formal Shield Triple Threat match at WrestleMania.

I wish for my podcast to continue to grow (cheap pop 😉).

I wish that guys like Tye Dillinger and Rusev stop being considered so underrated, and ascend up the card. And I hope people continue to see the greatness that is The Velveteen Dream. That kid has the whole world in his hands, no Bray Wyatt.

I wish Kenny Omega comes to WWE. That’ll get some hate, I’m sure.

I wish Cody stops trying to be his dad and realizes that he’s a pretty decent dude himself.

I can’t think of nothing else, so yeah, I’m just gonna stop.


The Doc ~

It's been a tough year on my fandom, so the first thing I'll wish for is less of the things that made it tough. I wish for WWE to further commit to its current generation of stars, abandoning this "Then is Now...Forever" philosophy by deemphasizing the use of wrestlers north of 45 years old and the OVW Class of '02 and Shane McMahon and getting back to the refreshing push out of the Cena Era that 2014-2016 had made it seem like was coming. Steve Austin once noted that WWE was like a machine that had gears that would get old and need to be replaced with new gears; and it sure used to be, but it feels like WWE both forgot how to make new gears and largely decided to replace one gear that had already been used up with another old gear previously discarded. The machine, simply, has stalled and the only true wish that I have for 2018 is to see the machine spin forward a few cycles again. Show me progress like a Summerslam main-event that pits a fantasy scenario featuring a pairing from the pool of Styles, Rollins, Ambrose, Reigns, Nakamura, Roode, Owens, Strowman, Balor, Joe, and the like for the WWE or Universal Title, a Royal Rumble winner from that same pool but who has never won it before, and a Survivor Series main-event built around contemporary talent and ending with a focus on contemporary talent too. These are not unreasonable wishes in 2018.


Oliver ~

Oh Father Skitzmas, where do I start with my Christmas wishes? My hopes and dreams for the next year?

I want Alexa Bliss to ride on Nia Jax’s shoulders as her WrestleMania entrance. Just think about. Preferably wearing a giant jacket that covers Nia so everyone thinks Alexa’s suddenly grown six feet taller overnight.

Hopefully Lucha Underground will overcome having its budget cut and still deliver the best and most interesting hour of wrestling in the week. Although equally I’d kind of like NXT to rediscover the mojo it had in 2013 and 2014 so it can go back to being the best hour of wrestling in a week because man, weekly NXT has become pretty bad a lot of the time. But it can be great! It has greatness within it. Just not the Adam Cole bits.

I want Neville to wrestle Brock Lesnar. Because come on, if this isn’t going to happen I’m going to have to hire a venue and pay them both to have a match myself. Think how freaking baller Neville vs Lesnar would be right now. Bloody WWE, missing out on that.

I’d like to see Tomohiro Ishii get a run with something higher than the NEVER title in NJPW, because Tomohiro Ishii is the best. I mean it.

And I want to finally find out what the ninjas did to Samoa Joe, as ever.

SkitZ: Sorry Oli. Apparently we don't cover New Japan on the Main Page (unless of course the headline mentions WWE in some context).


Leaf ~

Honestly this is going to sound like such a cop-out and I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone thinks I’m being a total scrooge but really it’s the exact opposite.

In 2018, I don’t wish for anything.

That’s right, nothing!

Lucha Underground has announced a fourth season which considering how bleak that was, I don’t think I could bring myself to wish for the budget to be the same or for all of the characters to return because I was expecting complete and utter defeat there.

Even if the UK wrestlers don’t get their own WWE show, they are being used perfectly within NXT right now, used sparingly so that the crowd do not have the chance to sour on them. The Bruiserweight is still over my friends!

In fact, as far as the WWE is concerned - I would have only previously asked for a Sami Zayn heel turn or push but 2017 brought both of those things!

I wish I had something groundbreaking to deliver here SkitZ but I’m more optimistic about the wrestling business than ever before. 2018 can bring what it wants to bring, I’m sure it’ll be absolutely dandy.


Skulduggery ~

1. Continued success in the tag team division

Tag team wrestling is so great. It lends itself to multiple match-up permutations within a single match, multi-man spots, and the ability to do false finishes without diminishing finishing moves by kicking out. In 2017, WWE crushed the mark with their tag team divisions. Everyone from the Bar to the Usos to the New Day and, of course, the freshly revitalized Shield hit home run after home run, and I see no slowing down in 2018. With emerging teams like the Bludgeon Brothers, hopefully a healthy Revival, and (fingers crossed!) the Authors of Pain, tag bouts on PPV should continue to be nearly automatic Match of the Night contenders.

2. Pyro

Even if it’s only for Brock Lesnar and Kane.

3. A Curt Hawkins win

Hawkins holds some unenviably long, triple-digits losing streak. And yet, he’s out there on a consistent basis, giving every last ounce of effort, trying to pull off a miracle. But if the Cubs can win a World Series, if the Penguins can win back-to-back Stanley Cups, if Dean Ambrose can forgive Seth Rollins, and if Colin Delaney can make a random, one-off return to SmackDown (and actually improve his look to something better than a drowned rat!), then I believe that Curt Hawkins can finally chalk a lonely one up in the W column. Can you imagine the celebration? Now that would be grounds for a return for pyro!


Steven Bell ~

Hey there, folks. I did some digging around and discovered that I've been posting a variation of this, in one form or another, since 2008. That's crazy. Almost 10 years, but it seems like it's been no time at all.

Anwho, most of those years have seen it as my contribution to Skitz's big cluster of a Christmas column, and this year is no different. If you're familiar with Pearl Jam's awesome song, Wishlist, then this is to be read to the tune of that. If you haven't heard Wishlist... go listen to Wishlist. Not because understanding this piece hinges on it or anything but because, well, it's a really great song.

Anyways, I hope the holidays treat you all extremely well. It's worth noting that I'll actually be here with you all on Christmas night, as the The Late Shift goes live after Raw. That's not a shameless shill, just letting you all know that hey, if you need to wind down after what can sometimes be a long day, I'll be here to chill with you.

Whether you join me for that or not, I do hope that you'll take care of yourselves out there in the really real world and remember that nothing is trivial. Much love, folks.

Cue the music...

I wish for Dean Ambrose to get a chance to heel it up
I wish for Broken Universe to thrive and carry on
I wish for Strowman to break loose and wreck shop on everyone
But not forget about Roman cause that feud's never done
I wish for Asuka's dominance, her streak to stay unbroke
At least until she runs across a face turned Alexa Bliss

I wish for everyone to just have fun and enjoy the show
I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me
I wish for Brock to go away and this time just stay gone
I wish for Neville to return and get pushed like he should

I wish Samoa Joe would get a run up on the top
I wish for Charlotte Flair to not have to job to Rhonda
I wish for Undertaker to headline the Hall of Fame
I wish for Nakamura to face Styles and tear it down

I wish for Bray and Rusev to be more than midcard hacks...

SkitZ: Well sung, Steve. I say we demand a Rusev segment for every episode of SmackDown in '18. Either that or get this man a spot crushin' it on the cooking channel.



Mizfan ~

My wish for this year is the same as the past few years, and that’s that I want MORE! I want to be able to watch even more promotions, trying more new things, experimenting and pushing what the form can be. I want WWE fans to give other promotions a try. I want indy fans to recognize the good things in WWE. I want everyone to experience variety and find something to love under every rock and tree, and to gather and discuss how much we all love this crazy thing called wrestling. I want to go to indy shows and dodge wrestlers in the front row, and I want to see others doing the same. I want to discover new wrestlers, new storylines, and fall in love all over again. I want joy and peace over the whole wrestling world, and for wrestlers to be smart and take care of themselves and have longer careers, giving us even more to enjoy. Give me more, more, MORE! I fully admit to being greedy when it comes to my wrestling, in that what I get never seems to be enough, and my only defense is I want more for everyone, not just for me. So here’s to another wild year where crazy things can happen, tastes broaden, and everyone becomes a little more enchanted with professional wrestling.


Prime Time ~

What do I want for 2018? Well, Roman Reigns isn’t going anywhere, so I’d want for him to be better written for a start. I’m kinda fed up about the whole line being that you can’t be a white-meat babyface anymore when he just isn’t written as one in the first place, so if that’s what they are going for, let’s try some presentation that doesn’t make him look like an ass.

I’d like to see far less of the authority figures than we have done. The McMahons are so far past their utility at this point that it’s an embarrassment whenever they turn up and you get that obnoxious Pavlovian pop, and to be honest I could do with less routine appearances from the GM’s, too. You want to freshen up the feel of your show? Making those guys less important for the first time in twenty years would be a good start.

I’d like Impact to feel like it is back on an even keel. I don’t think losing any more places for people to go and work is a good thing for the business.

One thing that’d be really high on my list would be no more arbitrary heel or face turns, or ‘shake ups of the roster’. Frankly I think these are some rubbish plays to avoid actually having to be genuinely creative. In the case of face and heel turns it just makes them meaningless when they happen, and constantly switching up the roster every year makes the idea of a brand split a bit pointless in the first place.

Lastly, I guess I wish that this Cody show they’ve been talking about comes off, and is a big success. Can’t be bad for anyone if they do manage to stick 10,000 fans into a building for what is, essentially, a glorified Indy show. That'd certainly shake up a few things we think we know about the business today.


'Plan ~

Dear Santa,

For Christmas this year, I would love WWE to forget about their nostalgia; to stop obsessing about the stars that were; to start focussing all their efforts and attention on the stars that could be; or, rather, should be.

I don’t want to see Triple H wrestle another match, or Kurt Angle make a comeback. I’ve no desire to see Daniel Bryan add his name to the litany of part-time schedules or The Undertaker wrestle ‘one more match.’ I don’t want to see Shane McMahon be the centre of attention on any show whatsoever, and I don’t want to see WWE roll out more retirees from their back catalogue. I don’t want to see Brock Lesnar hang around; and if he must, I don’t want to see Brock Lesnar kept sacrosanct at the expense of younger, better, more engaged and engaging talents. I sure as hell want the company to shave off its pointless dead weight – no more John Cena and no more Randy Orton and certainly no more Batista. They had their time. Now isn’t it.

For Christmas this year, I would love WWE to embrace, in the most unapologetic and brave fashion, their future, the key to which is held by the contemporary generation of stars. I would love to see Roman Reigns wrestle Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose in the main event of WrestleMania. I would love to see Brock Lesnar get taken out by Braun Strowman or Samoa Joe once and for all. I would love to see AJ Styles or Kevin Owens, or both, enter and stay in a WWE Title scene. I would love to see Bray Wyatt be Bray Wyatt again, and turned on the three dimensional villains of WWE’s world. I would love to see Bobby Roode as the centrepiece of Smackdown Live. I would love to see cruiserweights get given opportunities beyond the confines of 205 Live. I would love to see no more Jinder Mahal or Woken Matt Hardy or half-man, half-Demon Finn Bálor, and instead see creative energies focused on developing characters over gimmicks; and of a shared universe over an increasingly pointless Brand Extension.

But beyond everything else, I just want no more yesterdays. That’s all I want for Christmas. I want a 2018 that looks like a 2018 should look. Not one that’s frightened of the risk of its own potential.


SirSam ~

I wish I wish upon Skitz' Christmas Star
That come next Christmas we will have moved far
Away from Lesnar and Heyman’s laborious exclamations
His tired cliches and overdone proclamations.

As well as the demise of the boring old beast
I pray that in 2018 The Revival will be back at the tag team feast.
When those Top Guys return my hope abounds
They will be matched against my two favorite Hounds.

Speaking of my favourite rekindled bromance
I ask beyond hope that at the year’s biggest dance
They will have the chance to shine like stars
And launch a year that will take them oh so very far.

Against each other or with each other, I do not care
I just hate to watch them in midcard despair.
Until they are both champions, long may AJ Styles reign
And hopefully we can forget the 2017 Smackdown pain.

Oh how I pray on Skitz' Christmas Star
That 2018 will bring us a year that is far less subpar
At least we know that if the WWE totally screws the pooch
Skitz will be there to rip them a new caboose

SkitZ: I'd appreciate it if you put a plug on the butt stuff, Samuel. Bit of a sore subject as we can't be absolutely sure Paige and her slutty muddy ways are out of the woods just yet.


theImplications ~

1 – Roman Reigns does not win the Royal Rumble

Let’s flop the predictable out onto the table first, Skitzy baby. It’s not that I don’t want Reigns to face Lesnar at WrestleMania, I just like my Rumbles to not end in boos.

2 - Bobby Roode to quit smiling already and turn heel

Bobby Roode as a face is just weird. It’s like creative only saw his NXT entrances and made a judgement call based off of that, not taking into account any of his glooorious character work. So turn that smile upside down and start bragging about how rich you are.

3 – Asuka stays undefeated for ALL of 2018

All they need to do is keep doing what they’re doing the way through to this point next year (at least). She then holds the title till 2019’s WrestleMania, or beyond!

4 – Shinsuke Nakamura vs AJ Styles

This is THE match for SmackDown Live. Even if the story sucks, we’ll at least get a fantabulous match at the end of it all.

5 – Braun Strowman wins the WWE Universal Championship

I was one of those people that thought the iron was hot enough to strike earlier this year. Braun Strowman is one popular monster right now, that momentum will only last so long. Eventually, WWE are going to have to make a decision.

Don’t have Reigns become Super Cena 2.0, have Strowman be his Kryptonite! Braun for Champion 2018!

6 – Finn Balor turns heel

Anyone who’s seen Balor’s work in New Japan knows how great he can be as a bad guy. And yes, reforming ‘that Club’ in process wouldn’t hurt anything. Doesn’t mean Balor being heel on his own couldn’t work, but having big muscly guys doing his bidding works so well given his size.

7 – Bray Wyatt turns face

Stale. Right now Bray Wyatt is stale. Maybe a turn could be exactly what the Eater of Worlds needs. Because Jesus Christ, Sister Abigail was not the reworking we needed.

8 – Jason Jordan turns heel

OMG, it turns out Jason isn’t Kurt’s son! He was playing the Hall of Famer all along! We’d finally be done with one of the worst WWE storylines of 2017! And that’s a year that had Sister Abigail in it.

9 – The S.H.I.E.L.D. truly split

AKA The build to the triple threat main event of WrestleMania 35. With the final act starting with the Architect winning the Royal Rumble, my assumption is WWE would like Reigns to win this scenario as a babyface, but a man can dream.


Maverick ~

So, a Christmas wish from the world of pro wrestling it is. Mine is very simple and would change the current product for the better, so of course it’ll never happen, but all the same, don’t ask, don’t get, you know?

Quite simply, I would like single brand pay-per-views to be 2 hours long, as the old In Your House shows were, for the Rumble, Summerslam and Survivor Series to be 3 hours long, and for Wrestlemania to be 4 hours long. There is no earthly reason for quality to suffer in the way it does with all these extended run times. A tight, well put together wrestling show is always, without exception, better than a sprawling so called “epic”. Give me wrestling I care about, in a bite sized package. Look at NXT; it’s no coincidence the quality is high on Takeovers, because there’s only four matches on each show! So come on Santa, I mean Vince, let’s get some shorter run times going!


Marissa Laiman ~

Given how much wrestling television I've watched over the years, my wishes may seem specific, and some even personal, but here goes.

- Please make Stephanie McMahon go away from being on-screen. Or if she must be on-screen, can she not constantly run down other stars without even the slightest hint of retribution? Even Kurt Angle looked like Mick Foley being badgered by Steph and like always, nothing will ever come of it.

- I desperately need to see some sense of urgency, from all the brands. Make it feel important, not just a vehicle to get to the PPV.

- Stop having the exact same matches, or some variation of the same conflicts (i.e. Shield/Bar, and the singles matches in between.) It doesn't matter if it's a five-star classic; if you've been watching it every week for three months, it doesn't matter anymore.

- Sync the NXT and Raw/SD creative teams so that whatever makes characters work in NXT isn't suddenly stripped away when they get thrown to the wolves on the main roster. On that note as well, more well-planned and advertised debuts like Asuka's.

- Be the escapism we need, especially in difficult times. When I've had a bad personal event, the last thing I want to do is be frustrated by wrestling as well due to its blandness or seeming lack of progress.

- Be willing to call audibles. You don't need to telegraph a match from a year away and stick to it no matter what, especially if the audience doesn't want it.

- And, on a personal note, another year of being respectfully and correctly addressed by commenters on my column. 99 percent of them have been, but on the internet, there's always gotta be one.


TypeItInMaan ~

As I run the stairs towards the Christmas tree
it's not presents I want from the 'E

No tickets to your show, no money spent
just a change in the Mania main event

You're giving me a beast and a challenger named Roman
but all I want this year is a deserving Braun Strowman

As he pounds his chest, listen to his petition
all the guy wants, is real competition.

There's another guy not always seen
but soon to be chasing title 17

Give me AJ/Cena on the grandest stage
and hinder Jinder or I'll be enraged

Tis the season of Bliss and I'd be remiss
if I didn't mention Alexa on my list

She disrupted a revolution, continued her evolution
so let her turn face and blow up the institution

Like Rock in '98 who we loved to hate
and eventually had to admit he was so damn great

Why not Bliss? A face with quick wit
cutting heels to size, it's the perfect fit

If I may be bold, give Elias some gold
'cause Roman as IC champ is already getting old

It's a workhorse title for a midcard bee
let Samson run wild and diss your city

Another guy who's deserving too
he's painted red, but should be blue
2 brands, 2 midcards, he passed the test
so it's time to move him up with the best

Keep him on RAW, he'll get into some scuffles
but I feel he could get lost in the main event shuffle

He's survived a slump, a failure turning face
move him to Tuesday, watch him run the place

Time to main event The Miz
he'd be a top heel, it is what it is

Turn the Shield heel, play off of Roman's heat
if Brock is going to lose, let Seth and Dean cheat

The kids will hate you, adults may too
vicariously live through Roman, soak in the boo's

Shield 2.0 can have a new look
aiding Roman and rewriting the history books

Most of all, it's plain to see
all I want for Christmas is compelling TV

Throw a curveball, turn someone heel
even if on paper it doesn't look ideal

You once took chances, just do it again
WWE doesn't have to suck at Wrestlemania's end

Long term booking, a story with direction
positioning the right guys to take over in succession

I'm essentially a child so tell me a story
let your company restore it's former glory

SkitZ: Hmmm how do you feel about some freelance work writing my riddles? I can't assure you a full-time position but will happily bend over backwards to make room for your impressive p-[***CENSORED***].

...Play on words. Wow really? This is getting ridiculous.


Zzzorf ~

So I could sit here and type out wrestling facts for 2017 such as AJ Styles has had the most matches in the entire WWE (TV and house shows) this year; having heard the bell ring to start his match 164 times. Or that Finn Balor has the best win record of anyone with over 100 matches at 89.9%. I could also tell you things like how at 116 matches without a win - beating his closest rival by 107 matches - Curt Hawkins has by far and away the worst record for the WWE this year. That however isn’t what you are here for, is it? What you want is my wishes for 2018. Well there can be only one wish I can think of... that the wrestling world can handle The King of Stats' return to the forums of Lords of Pain in the new year.

As for non-self promotion hyping, these would be my personal wishes (in no particular order other than the fact it is how they came to me) for 2018:

1. The return of Cody Rhodes to WWE.
2. A push for Bo Dallas. It doesn’t have to be Jinder Mahal big but a push would be great.
3. Brock Lesnar finally gets pinned; losing the Universal Title and thus using his built-up prestige to give someone a much needed rub. Roman Reigns does not need this rub.
4. Since WCW properties are making comebacks in the WWE (War Games, Starrcade, etc) the next one needs to be Battlebowl.
5. The Miz has been one of the must watch things in WWE for the last two years and deserves a world title.
6. Sister Abigail needs a physical form (not Bray in drag). His real sister Mika would be perfect for the job I think.
7. No matter how much I want to see it, Daniel Bryan does not return to active duty. Not even for 1 match.
8. After watching Wrestlemania X-Seven in the last few days, I think it's time for another Gimmick Battle Royal (sounds better than another Andre one at Wrestlemania).
9. An Australian wins a singles title. I’m looking at you, Iconic Duo.
10. That all of LOP is as hyped as Mojo Rawley about the return of the King of Stats.

Have a Merry Christmas all of you and I will see you in the new year. Until then remember, THE STATS NEVER LIE.


SkitZ ~

[ ] -- I want a Tickle Me Enzo doll - (c)omplete with catchphrases - so the miserable manchild in me can beat the stuffing out of it.

[ ] -- Vince to resist the temptation of adding an Everybody Loves Roman spinoff to the Network.

[ ] -- Woken Matt to also get Wyatt over in the process because WWE can't do it on their own.

[ ] -- A proposal for Nikki Bella's boo. Instead of the sickening display we witnessed at WM33, SummerSlam & Survivor Series, show me shades of 2015-16 John Cena; not the plodding part-timer who put me to sleep this past year.

[ ] -- Baron Corbin to admit defeat already and embrace the chrome dome. There's no follicle formula in the world strong enough to salvage that hairline. He looks like Argus Filch from the Harry Potter films.

[ ] -- For NXT's weekly programming to show it still has a pulse. Lately it's felt like Vince purchased a couple indy promotions and crammed all the talent onto Superstars. The tapings have become entirely too skippable.

[ ] -- Upon returning, I wish for Big Cass to cunt muff punt his precious Carmella, steal her briefcase and cash it in on Charlotte; revealing in the post-match promo that he's actually a full-figured woman (long wispy locks, the nipples of a pregnant woman, etc.). Maybe then I'd be able to emotionally invest in the character.

[ ] -- Please let the bond between Balor and Itami lead to sustained success within RAW's tag division (The Bar can't carry it forever). Karate Kid & Mr. Miyagi could be a sleeper hit with the fans and aside from Vince using Hideo's GTS as another slap shot at Punk, I don't see much doin' for Kenta in WWE.

[ ] -- Upper management to look themselves in the mirror and reflect on the fact that every day is Rusev Day. The calendar doesn't fuckin' flippin' lie.

[ ] -- Oh and until she's released for marrying an ex-WWE employee, I want Zelina Vega to continue strengthening Andrade's grasp on the English language. Educate Almas enough to where he can work his way up to a poor man's Guerrero. Speaking of Latino Heat, remember what I said earlier about being in hot water with the site owner? Well... I LIED (cue Eddie antics). The dude's actually a huge admirer of mine. I mean haven't you read Bischoff's book? Controversy creates cash.

And with that sorted, let's get this Parody Parade back on track. I've planned something truly foul for our next pit stop.

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