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Posted in: Taste My Rainbow
RAW Bar [10.9.2017] - Zo Show Cancelled & The Bae Young Classic Begins
By SkitZ, Anonymous & KingKervin
Oct 10, 2017 - 9:09:48 AM


[10.9.2017] - Zo Show Cancelled
& The Bae Young Classic Begins











Welcome readers to the bland re-opening of RAW Bar. There’s plenty to discuss on this morning after but first, a quick recap of last week’s show...









...And on with the program.




Taste Buds




Fresh ~ The Shield Close The Bar and Finally Crush Miz‘s Skull

Nony:
This was everything it should have been with The Miz still being the best heel in the business today and the Shield reunion going into full swing. Axel’s facial expressions are brilliant. The triple powerbomb, the beatdown and everything else was great, although hopefully the feud won’t be as one sided as this all the time. My only issue with this segment was that it started the show, which meant the crowd climaxed within the first 10 minutes. It should have main evented. Still thoroughly entertaining though and I look forward to it continuing.



Fresh ~ Strowman Recruited for RAW‘s Version of WarGames

SkitZ:
If a beatdown by Braun didn’t leave Matt broken enough to revert back to his former gimmick, nothing will I‘m afraid. Strowman continues to swim upstream after having his momentum halted at No Mercy (because Vince God forbid something disrupt the flow of Reigns/Lesnar at Mania). Even when surrounded by fan favorites, Roman can’t help but act like a heel. When The Shield came out to swarm Strowman, I couldn’t help picture Reigns saying "This guy’s been bullying me all year but I’ve got the numbers on my side now and it’s time to get even!”

Not only is Roman a tool but Braun definitely throws a monkey wrench in TLC‘s main event. After watching him slug it out with the likes of Big Show and Brock, injecting Strowman into what‘s sure to be a fast paced stunt brawl on the 22nd hits all the right buttons for this keyboard jockey. With seemingly no titles up for grabs however, I’m sad that Braun can‘t become a triple crown-ish champion in one fell swoop.



Foul ~ Cruiserweights? More Like Ankle Weights

Nony:
The silence here was deafening. Both teams got jobber entrances which shows what the company thinks of them and I miss the days when Gallagher was over. He’s a great face in a division missing decent faces. As it is, he and Kendrick (who deserves better) are stuck in a feud with two people no one really cares about. The match itself was short, uninspiring and pointless. Much like most of the 205 live roster.



Fresh ~ It‘s Official… Emma Signs Her Own Death Warrant

SkitZ:
For whatever reason, multi-women matches right now are as much the rage as Tito’s HIAC review. They tend to exhaust options within the division before really exploring them but I’ll give this particular instance a pass; mainly because management chose the right woman to wrestle Asuka in her main roster debut. Emma’s worked the undefeated Empress on a big stage before and has something to prove herself following a very streaky stretch since leaving NXT the first time. I’m excited to watch Asuka pop her RAW cherry though. Emma is so fucked.



Foul ~ Bray‘s Inner Female Comes to the Forefront

Nony:
Firstly, I think Wyatt gets too much criticism. There are two problems with this feud. One is Wyatt and one is Balor. Balor is the most overrated Superstar on the roster and he just isn’t convincing me of his toughness. We all like to play dress-up occasionally and pretend we’re someone we’re not but at the end of the day, we’re still the same pathetic person when we take off our makeup. Balor needs to do something more to persuade me he’s worth a damn. Meanwhile, Wyatt’s revelation that he's Sister Abigail was a beautiful setup to what is hopefully an emotional transgender storyline for Bray. He has come out as Sister Abigail and deserves universal acceptance for doing so. Credit to the WWE writers and Wyatt himself for making this bold move. I look forward to his face run and recognition of his bravery, whilst Balor should get huge heel heat for beating up WWE’s first transgender athlete.

The segment itself was pretty unwatchable but I’m happy for Bray and wish him the best during this confusing period in his life.



Fishy ~ Unplugging The Zo Show After 3 Episodes

SkitZ:
Moving Enzo to 205 Live and giving him such a prominent role on the show didn’t sit well with me initially. The guy’s like an airborne illness and I didn’t want him contaminating the purple brand (a guilty viewing pleasure of mine over the past several months). But even though Amore has more catchphrases than wrestling moves, he’s completely flipped the script since No Mercy and brought attention to a division that’s gone largely unnoticed here in 2017. Therefore I don’t understand the sudden urgency to have Enzo drop the Cruiserweight Title last night; two weeks before his scheduled Lumberjack match against Kalisto. And I was expecting Amore to retain at TLC by hook or crook so there’s some food for thought.

Either the company’s gonna keep playing hot potato with the title or they’re done feeding his ego for the time being. I’ve heard people say that Enzo was simply cast on the show to boost its profile and thus served his purpose. Which seems like a sound business strategy but if that is the case, where does Amore go from here? How do you fit Enzo back into the fold on RAW and make him a formidable foe for anyone other than a female?





~ Opening Round of the ~
Bae Young Classic
[Narrated by KingKervin]


______________________________________________



#1) Alexa Bliss vs.
#16) JoJo


As you can see, the ranking system is already a hot steaming pile of trash. Alexa shouldn’t be number one at anything unless it’s quoting Mean Girls, but hey, it’s Skitzoid’s list so I will do it justice. She gets a snoozer of a match here against a ring announcer whose biggest accomplishment to date is homewrecking and being quick enough not to get fans screaming “one fall” during her ring announcing. At the very least, Alexa has won both the WWE Smackdown and Raw Women’s championships. In a match of beauty, I’d take JoJo personally, but this will be a fan vote (I think, Skitz told me, I just don’t remember), and considering the accolades of the Goddess, you must imagine Alexa will win in a landslide.


#8) Maryse vs.
#9) Stephanie McMahon


Another intriguing matchup because you’re getting two former Diva’s champions (that’s what they called it then, get over it), but that’s where the similarities end. Maryse is, at least in my opinion, probably the most beautiful woman on earth, so I may be biased, but it’s hard to diminish early Attitude Era Steph along with philanthropist Steph and the things she’s accomplished inside the WWE. Those accomplish tower over what most of Maryse has done in her time. It’s almost ridiculous that Maryse nabbed a higher seed than Stephanie, but once again, blame Rainbow Douche for that. Given the pick, I’d have to say Stephanie gets the “upset” victory here.


#5) Emma vs.
#12) Dana Brooke


This one is closer than you think folks. Let’s be clear. Emma has done all of jack shit on the WWE main roster. At least Dana got some television time with Charlotte Flair and the Good Brothers. So, while it may sound crazy, I think Dana may have the leg up in terms of accomplishments. In a beauty contest, I think Dana is gorgeous, but I do believe most of our voters are going to love Emma. As we all should. She’s Australian. She even rectified her biggest mistake by dumping Zack Ryder’s goofy ass. So, end of the day, I think Emma wins handily. Most of our readers are driven by testosterone. Don’t even act like you aren’t.


#4) Bayley vs.
#13) Summer Rae


This competition is really going to be a battle of what our readers prefer more; beauty or greatness. Bayley has accomplished quite a bit since making it up to the main roster. She’s won the WWE Raw Women’s Championship. She’s been part of some outstanding women’s matches during that time as well, and she’s even been booed for some reason. And then there’s Summer Rae who hasn’t done anything but post selfies of herself chilling in Las Vegas. In terms of accomplishments, this isn’t even close, unless of course you count when Summer danced with Fandango and hung around Tyler Breeze. The issue comes down to the beauty competition. Bayley is my type, plus I’m not tall enough for Summer, but I think the fuel-induced male audience loves them some Summer Selfie Time. Either way, I still think they come to their senses and choose Bayley because Bayley is the best.


#6) Mickie James vs.
#11) Alicia Fox


Mickie should really be a higher seed here. She’s the most accomplished in-ring of the 16 women, and she’s also definitely up there on the beauty scale. So, once again, remember to tip your writer, but boo your bracketologist. A 6-time Women’s Champion, a pioneer for women’s wrestling with Trish Stratus, and can still cut a damn great promo. She’s always been a solid hand in the ring as well. Oh yeah, she was La Luchadora, too. Mickie is great and gorgeous. Alicia is stunning as well, she just doesn’t have near the in-ring accomplishments as Mickie does. Nobody does crazy like Alicia, and I had a ton of fun watching her 205 Live Love Triangle earlier this year, but I don’t see this as being a contest. Mickie had better win.


#3) Sasha Banks vs.
#14) Renee Young


Sasha should probably be the number two seed behind Mickie as far as I’m concerned, but that’s alright. This is close enough, and Skitz went sexual preference for his two seed anyway. Sasha is highly accomplished in the WWE, as well as NXT, and she’s also beloved by the fans, and just an all-around beautiful woman. Her opponent, Renee Young, is married to Dean Ambrose and I hate him for that. That lucky bastard. Even still, Renee doesn’t have any in-ring accomplishments and she hasn’t had enough opportunities as an announcer to really see how great she can be. Over time, I think she could step up, but in a competition where beauty is only half the story, there’s no way she overcomes the Boss.


#7) Paige vs.
#10) Nia Jax


Paige won the Women’s Championship on her first night. She left NXT as Women’s Champion. And she did it at a young age, and had the wrestling world at her fingertips. Then she did some private shit that got out because hackers are assholes. It shouldn’t be held against her for having fun and doing what she wants. She’s an adult. But, she’s also had her tiffs outside of the ring that have hurt her and those cannot be denied. But Paige, for all she’s endured, she really should probably be higher. Did I mention Paige makes me drool? Nia is up and coming, and I love that she exudes confidence in herself and to the young women who follow her on social media. But, she hasn’t really accomplished much yet. And I just don’t see how she gets through this matchup. She may even be seeded too high. You’re terrible, SkittleZ.


#2) Asuka vs.
#15) Charly Caruso


Charly is the sexiest woman on earth, and that alone should make her at least an 8 seed here. I say that because she’s done fuck all otherwise. She’s interviewed people. And of course, old fetishy Skitz puts Asuka at the 2 seed, knowing better. It’s supposed to be accomplished based too, and while Asuka ran roughshod over the NXT women, she hasn’t done a single thing in a WWE ring yet. That should have dropped her, no matter how much you love her. There’s no way in hell Asuka is losing this matchup. She’s got a legit chance to win this thing. But she better not.


______________________________________________




As mentioned above by my ungrateful groupie, the selection process of who advances in The Bae Young Classic is determined by YOUR VOTE. These babes are being judged on success and sex appeal so sound off like you got a pair in the comments section below or send them to my personal inbox (skitztmrlop@gmail.com). No nudes please, gentlemen. As for us three, we’ll be back next week with the Quarterfinal matchups along with more crappy coverage of RAW.

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