When Billy Kidman gave Chavo Guerrero a concussion back in 2004 via an errant Shooting Star Press, which saw Kidman’s knee accidentally making impact with Guerrero’s forehead, there were consequences. They weren’t immediate, but they were systematic, which also means that they eventually became apparent. Fancy aerial finishers – at the time meaning, really, the aforementioned Shooting Star Press and the 450 Splash, which was then being used by Paul London – were outlawed by Vince McMahon. Simpler maneuvers such as the frog splash and the moonsault were still allowed; they didn’t involve having to address the complex physics issues of gaining enough air or spinning with the proper speed. The rest, however, were too dangerous for both the performer and his opponent because of the dangers of losing control.
Fortunately for the wrestling industry, grim reminders of that fact were few and far between. Examples such as the aforementioned Guerrero concussion and the infamous Brock Lesnar botched Shooting Star Press are, after all, uncommon events – the people you watch on television every day are indeed trained professionals. They’ve become uncommon enough that eventually, that ban on aerial finishers was somewhat lifted, as exemplified by the arrivals of Evan Bourne and Justin Gabriel, who respectively hand out Shooting Stars and 450s to their opponents left and right.
However, when these accidents do happen, at the very least, the wrestling world takes notice. We, as fans, have been trained to know what a safe, clean bump looks like, and thus, we grimace at even the smallest deviation from that proper form. What more when they go horribly wrong? We can’t stomach it because we know that that is another human, made of flesh and bone just like us, taking a hit their bodies physically cannot withstand. And most of all, we know that they need those bodies safe in order to not just continue doing what they do for us, but in order to live their own lives, as well.
You all know by now, of course, that this discusion is about young TNA star Jesse Sorensen and what happened to him at the Against All Odds PPV last Sunday. For the unfamiliar, Zema Ion did a moonsault which saw his knee hit the back of Sorensen’s head, driving him to the mat – not unlike what happened with Kidman and Guerrero. Now the official reports have come out and we know he has a fractured C-1 vertebrae, but luckily, he’s regaining the feeling in his arms and legs and is on pace to fully recover in a year. After that, however, we’re not sure what will become of his wrestling career.
However, the question I’d like to bring up today is this: how do we effectively prevent accidents like these from happening? Or if not, how do we effectively reduce that risk?
The easiest solution, and maybe really the only way, would just be to ban any dangerous and/or brutal moves, which the WWE and some other promotions already do. (A move need not be brutal to be dangerous, such as the aerial moves.) You can train somebody to be as safe a worker as possible, but the risk will always be there if the moveset is wild. Two workers can put on a good match throwing nothing but basic, relatively safer moves and strikes, as long as the hits aren’t too stiff. (You could bring up Goldberg concussing Bret Hart with one kick, but that was because Goldberg was too stiff a worker.)
Interestingly, as we speak there’s a bit of a ban in place in the WWE right now. Aside from the general ban on piledrivers not from Undertaker or Kane, you may not have noticed that there seems to be a slight ban on powerbombs. While Jack Swagger does a gutwrench powerbomb, only Kevin Nash gets to do a traditional powerbomb – and his dangerous, near-careless execution of the Jackknife seems to be the main justification against the move. Otherwise, it’s noticeable because newer big men who would benefit from a simple, devastating finisher instead get slightly weaker maneuvers such as the uranage, the spinning side slam, and whatnot.
The result of such a policy goes both ways. The banning of the spike piledriver is generally unminded by wrestling fans because they recognize the inherent danger of the move, and not getting to see it frequently helps build up its mystique. (Again, tombstone piledrivers don’t count because they’re the safest kind of piledriver in existence, and everybody knows the secret.) The banning of straight steel chair shots to the head is another welcome change that does away with that unnecessary ploy. While a steel chair beatdown looks sanitized by removing the most dangerous tactic from the playbook, the credibility of the weapon is maintained through using it in other damaging methods (i.e. pillmanization, last used by Mark Henry and the Big Show).
But therein lies the problem of making the wrestling environment safer. Since pro wrestling is essentially a form of theatre which operates on a steady dosage of violence, thriving on a legion of fans who seem to be hardly ever satisfied, how would they with the pressures of any circumstances that would force them to be, well, dangerous? In a safer environment, how do they deal with the whims of the fans who deem safe bland and boring (the WWE-produced wrestling style at its core), and risky exciting (basically, the raison d’etre of TNA’s X-Division)? How should both the wrestlers and the management really respond to that kind of clamor, which forces them to choose to really forego their wellbeing for entertainment, even if it means hurting their own capacity to entertain?
Or is it easier for them to just ignore the moral dilemma and go out there, doing what they have always done? Is it easier for us, as fans, to demand exciting yet physically punishing entertainment because we don’t want complacent wrestling, because we feverishly want our wrestling to return to its glory days? Is it even fair at all for us, most of us who are really only involved with wrestling from the comforts of our seats, to demand how they do their job? Is it really fair, knowing what has happened to people like Chris Benoit?
But we already know the answers, don’t we? We already know them, despite how much we also know – and feel – about the issues. Yes, they’ll continue to do what they do, for various reasons. Adrenaline. To put on the best show the fans have ever seen. To further their legacy as wrestlers. All justifiable reasons to go out there and ply their trade on that squared circle.
And we will all support it, because this is what we love, and we want to be entertained. Most of all, we know specifically how we want to be entertained. And the show goes on.
But the question will linger in the air, after the smoke has cleared and the injuries have healed.
Is it right?
*****
Under threat of physical violence by a redneck from Tennessee, I proudly announce the triumphant return (from brief, unintentional hiatus) of ROH Friday! Good morning to you if you are one of our 14 loyal, devoted readers.
Unfortunately, however, today I am once again not joined by my usual partner Son of Shockey, as we still don’t have anything planned. Rest assured that as Ring of Honor’s Tenth Anniversary Show (which will be on iPPV) draws near, we will definitely come up with at least a prediction column and results discussion. We, or I, might even feature LOP blogger and columnist Seth Omega (who’s currently holding a knife to my throat) to discuss these things with me. Meanwhile, you can go check out SOS’s latest work in the Columns Forum.
Anyway, today, as you may have already figured out from the title, I’ll take the easy way out while waiting for ROH topics to talk about and do a running diary. This should be good, as I haven’t covered ROH in a long while and I do need to re-immerse myself in it sooner or later.
So without further ado, let’s begin!
***
1:19: We’re still at Baltimore, and our main event is the Briscoes vs. the House of Truth, with a $5,000 side bet. Winner takes all. Now that’s a stipulation you don’t see every day. And in case you haven’t noticed already, the Briscoes are faces now. But you knew that. We’ve been telling you for a while now.
1:43: Our first match is Kyle O’Reilly vs. Eddie Edwards, and it seems that Eddie is on the way to being a heel. I’m not sure how Adam Cole fits in all of this, though. At the same time, which idiot thought it was a good idea for Eddie to be a heel? He’s already barely a good face, but how do you expect a mumbling little man to be a villain?
4:25: Kyle is being billed as a couple of inches taller… but it’s clear from their face-to-face that Eddie is taller, partly due to his small fauxhawk.
5:17: The package piledriver and all forms of piledrivers have reportedly been banned. I’m well aware that it’s a storyline and Kevin Steen probably gets to do it elsewhere, but welcome to the 21st century, ROH.
7:12: The problem with Wolves and Co., plus the other small guys, is that they don’t take bumps easily. They take big shots left and right, but they don’t go down as often as they realistically should. How is that believable at all? The only people allowed to do that in this company are Michael Elgin and Kevin Steen.
7:33: See? Just now, Kyle O’Reilly hit a big boot on Eddie Edwards. Granted, Die Hard managed to slightly block the boot, but he at least should have been selling some sort of impact. But no, not only was he not staggered, but he runs after O’Reilly when the latter runs the ropes.
8:14: Oh, I think I know how Adam Cole fits here. O’Reilly and Richards want to be the new American Wolves. Of course, being part of Future Shock, Cole feels left out. Probably. Something like that.
8:21: Eddie jacked Davey’s Ankle Lock. At least that’s one heelish thing he can do properly.
9:45: I do like to watch O’Reilly strike. Now he’s doing the rolling butterflies. I like that too.
10:33: Eddie with a springboard Codebreaker and O’Reilly doesn’t even flip backwards. Why doesn’t Jericho go after these fools?
10:59: Big spot sending both men crashing to the outside, and the crowd loves it, even going so far as to start an ROH chant. This is exactly what I was talking about in the previous column. We fans are bloodthirsty.
12:05: Now they’re chanting “this is wrestling.” See what we’re doing, what we’re encouraging?
12:42: Here we go. Cole comes down and is supporting Eddie. Apparently, this thing only started on this episode. Whoops.
14:01: “This is Awesome” now.
15:11: This match is going on way too long. Hopefully this guillotine choke is a sign of the end… okay, guess not.
16:01: Eddie Edwards with a roll-up counter to win. Are finishers not sacred anymore? Get these guys off my screen.
16:54: Here we go, Eddie Edwards is now proposing a new tag team with Adam Cole, and as we all know by now, Cole accepts.
18:21: Guys like Steen and Steve Corino risk a lot more in their matches, but Jesse Sorensen breaks his neck just from one moonsault. Wrestling fate is sad.
20:12: Heeeere’s Mike Mondo. Thank god there was no pre-match promo.
21:19: He’s facing a rookie named Matt Taven. Maybe he is going to win here.
23:33: “Wrestling is a results-driven sport”? That’s a lie, Kevin Kelly, and you damn well know it. Wrestling isn’t driven by official results, it’s driven by a different set of standards.
24:20: The crowds are chanting “Pauly Shore” at Taven. It’s true, it’s the shaggy long hair.
24:30: Here comes Kevin Steen to interrupt a match now, cutting a promo. I don’t care how good he is, but this is a Michael Cole-level stunt. At least let the match finish.
25:25: Steen calls Taven a cutie-pie. Is it just me, or is Steen the only one who can properly pull off homoerotic humor? The guy loves nibbling other dudes’ ears and kissing other dudes’ cheeks, and now this.
25:37: Kevin Steen debuted the F-5 as his new finisher. Steen interrupted a match to rant against Jim Cornette and debut a new finisher. Couldn’t he have done this during the O’Reilly/Edwards match? Doesn’t he have some beef with Davey? Davey was just at ringside!
26:08: Now he does it to Mike Mondo. First, there was “Super Davey” and “Super Eddie.” Can you say “Super Steen”?
26:58: Again, the segment was nice and it’s always great to see Steen getting the spotlight… but I don’t think it was worth interrupting a match that was already good and going.
27:18: I’ll say it again – Briscoes/WGTT is the company’s best story right now.
28:36: Shelton never fails to flub a line, though. It’s still amazing to think that Haas is carrying him, promo-wise.
30:26: The Tag and TV titles are being defended at the Tenth Anniversary Show, but the World Champ is in tag team action. Stop pretending Richards and Edwards are Cena and Rock, ROH, and stop screwing Steen over.
31:39: In their promo spot for the iPPV, Barrister Robert Evans just interrupted Prince Nana and emphasized the investors in the Embassy, Ltd. over Nana, who was just starting to say how the show is going to be all about his success. That’s underhanded plot advancement right there if I’ve ever seen one.
32:24: Main event time. Save this show, Briscoes. Save this show, Unbreakable.
33:40: I’m still loving this side bet stipulation. How come Cryme Tyme never thought of this, especially when they were hustling people backstage?
35:10: Cornette is announcing the Richards/O’Reilly vs. Edwards/Cole main event for the iPPV via commentary. Way to make this a big deal.
35:40: I don’t really understand why Elgin is trying to grow an Owen Hart mullet.
36:33: That’s right, beat up on Roddy.
36:55: Cornette just mentioned Kiwi boot polish… I honestly thought that was a local, Philippine brand.
39:09: Elgin is big enough to kill most people on the ROH roster. In theory, nobody should be kicking out of his moves unless they’re bigger than him.
41:46: Why not just have Cornette be the third man, the Vince McMahon of the ROH announce team?
42:50: Just as Cornette was saying that the crowd reaction was “deafening” and “thunderous,” we cut to a shot of a section of the crowd that is absolutely not reacting at all. Jesus, ROH production team. This show isn’t live. You had time to edit it. Surely you could have found a shot of the crowd being boisterous? It’s like you’re deliberately trying to sabotage your own show.
43:30: Nigel was ranting about how the Briscoes got hit with steel chairs last week and they’re healthy this week. In typical company-man fashion, Kelly says that it’s hard to find a sliver of weakness in ROH’s top guys. While I get that you want to put your guys over as the toughest wrestlers in the world, everyone knows that they’re just sugarcoating the fact that most of these guys have very little understanding, if at all, of psychology. It can get exciting, sure, but most of it is insulting to one’s intelligence.
45:02: Only tag team matches make the most sense in this company. At least you can believably break up a pin.
46:21: After getting blasted in the face with LeBron’s hand powder by Truth Martini, Jay went backstage, grabbed a baseball bat, and bunted Elgin in the stomach for the DQ loss. Fellas, you just lost $5,000! Why would you do that?! What’s Papa Briscoe gonna say?! You’ll have to work overtime at the chicken farm!
46:39: He swings for Roddy’s stomach, too. I guess it was worth it.
47:10: Truth’s plan to get the money worked… but was it worth getting laid out for? I guess it was, too.
Overall Thoughts: The main event was fun, but it was largely a disappointing show. It gets really hard to care about anything involving Team Richards, but I suppose that’s just me... and most other people. The Kevin Steen interruption was, in my opinion, ill-advised. I could say that at least we went to three matches, but the second match was basically a lengthened segment to put Steen over. I wanted to see more of the midcard, as always. C+
*****
Four, for some reason, seems to be the WWE’s magic number right now. Royal Rumble, the last PPV, only had four advertised matches, plus two impromptu bouts in between. This time, which is Elimination Chamber time, we’re still getting four advertised matches. While we’re guaranteed to have some great action, you can bet that, like last month at the Rumble, we’re going to have to wade through the mud to get there.
This PPV is also even more of a revelation on how shallow the entire WWE roster is, and the failure of Creative to build up the smaller names to help fill that void. The Rumble, as an egalitarian concept for an event, was easy to work around, but the lack of advertised undercard matches was obvious as anyone who participated in the Rumble could have had a match prior, but again, Creative has failed to properly build up smaller feuds.
This time, we have an event that is a bit pickier. The Elimination Chamber is not an open invitation for a shot at championship gold; it, in theory, discriminates the six best of the best from both brands. And even if there weren’t any qualifiers this year, with the pack automatically picked by each show’s respective authority figures, it is implied that the twelve contenders pencilled in have earned enough to be ranked for inclusion in the chamber. In other words, unlike the Rumble, a spot in the chamber is earned one way or another.
And this is where it gets tricky. The RAW brand has no problem filling up its chamber with credible contenders for the WWE Championship. Its main event and upper midcard has been strong and healthy lately. However, SmackDown is at a loss for top talent due to various injuries and a notable gap of depth separating the midcard from the upper midcard. At first, the blue chamber had to settle for Khali instead of the injured Mark Henry, and fans have never bought the Punjabi giant as much of a threat despite his size. Now, instead of Randy Orton, the show’s top star, we get Santino Marella, who, while still adored by the audience, has never even been an upper midcard threat. Santino gets the nod over other credible-looking fellows such as Drew McIntyre (who put out a solid performance in last year’s SmackDown chamber) and Ezekiel Jackson.
It’s funny that despite consistently being the better show, SmackDown needs more help.
Anyway, before I even forget, this is a prediction column. Enough blabber, and on to the picks!
Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix (c) for the WWE Divas Championship
Finally, a Divas bout worth anticipating. It seems Kharma really isn’t ready to work yet after giving birth, so we settle for this, which really isn’t so bad. Given the fact that there would only be five matches on this show, tops, I’m hoping this one goes at least five minutes. Tamina brings a hard-hitting style to the contendership you haven’t really seen from Kelly Kelly, Eve, or Alicia Fox, and you can bet these two would go all-out. However, while Tamina is definitely worthy to be Divas champion, now just isn’t her time; today she’s just an obstacle for Beth Phoenix to overcome as she waits for Kharma to return. But the butterfly title is definitely in Tamina’s future.
Winner: Beth Phoenix (still Divas Champion)
John Cena vs. Kane in an Ambulance Match
The momentum of this storyline has slowed down a bit, slightly dialing down the will-he-won’t-he curiosity of whether John Cena will actually embrace the hate. Not even Eve switching sides from Zack to Cena (which doesn’t even make sense, because a few weeks ago Eve was blaming Cena for all their misfortunes) is helping matters, because it’s less believable to have Cena start hating Ryder. I’d like to think that this is all building up to Kane vs. Zack Ryder at Wrestlemania, but none of the puzzle pieces fit that particular hypothesis. Anyway, we all know Cena’s finally putting this one in the bag so he can go concentrate on his match with the Rock.
Winner: John Cena
SmackDown Elimination Chamber Match
This one is easy. Maybe too easy. Deceptively easy. All the other possible winners have been taken out of the equation. Mark Henry is still injured. Randy Orton has a concussion. Big Show’s never going to get it back, Barrett and Rhodes won’t get it, and Khali’s never gonna get it either. It’s also possible that somebody takes out Santino the way Edge took out Kofi a few years ago, but that’s also wishful thinking from anyone who styles themselves as some sort of fantasy booker. Daniel Bryan retains the championship, and Orton somehow exercises his never-was title shot at Wrestlemania to make it a triple threat with Sheamus.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (still World Heavyweight Champion)
RAW Elimination Chamber
On the other hand, the other potential winner in this chamber is healthy. It’s either CM Punk retains or Chris Jericho wins, and everyone else is just there to spice things up. While it might be a foregone conclusion that Punk goes on to have a match with Jericho at Wrestlemania, how do you set that up? Would you really take the title off Punk for a month to give their feud fuel for the extra mileage? If Punk wins, how would Jericho have a match? Perhaps there would be some machination in place at Monday’s RAW to give Jericho that rematch, but in reality, there is a corner and they’ve kind of painted themselves into it. It’s not too tough of a conundrum, but it’s annoying for anyone who ever wishes for logic in wrestling. And that’s almost everyone.
Winner: CM Punk (still WWE Champion)
BONUS: Sheamus vs. Alberto del Rio
Currently making the house show waves, I wouldn’t be surprised if this actually happened. The Royal Rumble winner doesn’t have anything to do, and a certain Mexican douchebag aristocrat is apparently ready for action. Since the flat booking of the Tag champions at last Friday’s SmackDown essentially eliminated any motivation for a rematch on the PPV, this should have to do. This year’s Royal Rumble winner versus last year’s. Really, should we be expecting any less?
Winner: Sheamus
There you have it. Magic number four and one plausible potential match-up. The Elimination Chamber, since its first incarnations, have always been pretty solid events, partly due to its place in the middle of the Road to Wrestlemania, and the wrestlers have always gone all-out in the event. Despite what’s currently laid out on the table, I have some hope that the show should at least be adequate.
***
The Best Match You Didn't See On TV This Week
Regal is God, and God said unto the darkness, "Let there be a Good Match."
If you’re an ROH fan, then you’d do well to read my coverage of the recently re-debuted ROH television show. It comes out every week (as much as possible); sometimes it's late, but it still comes.
Also, for my fellow Filipinos, please tune in to my buddy Stan’s radio show S&M: The Morning After every weekend from 6 to 9 am (10 am on Sundays) on Mellow 94.7. If you find yourself up early on a weekend, do check it out!
