Posted in: Ro is War Ro is War Sunday Edition: 2011 in Entrance Music
By Romeo
Jan 8, 2012 - 11:31:53 AM
Last weekend, we celebrated the end of another full year and ushered in the much-publicized year 2012. Because we’ve officially, completely left 2011 in the history books, I can officially do this column without fear of having to make last-minute additions.
Ladies and gentlemen, today I give you 2011 in Entrance Music.
This is the second annual Year in Entrance Music column (the 2010 edition, which debuted in the Columns Forum, is right here). What this column is basically all about is that it is a review of all the new theme music that came out in the year, separated into four categories: the Good, the Okay, the Bad, and the Ugly. The criteria for consideration are simple: the song had to have come out in the year 2011, and remixes count if they are pretty distinct from the original song.
Last year, the top honors went to Jim Johnston’s fantastic “Realeza,” which you will instantly recognize as Alberto del Rio’s glorious, glorious theme song, while the original version of Cody Rhodes’s ”Smoke and Mirrors” bagged second place. Who will reign in 2011?
Why don’t we get to it and find out? Let’s begin, starting off with…
The Ugly
What the hell is this exactly supposed to be? Lady Gaga-style pseudo-African tribal chanting? Unconvincing rapper rapping unconvincing rhymes, giving us wonderful gems of lyrics such as: “Go ahead now, say something stupid / you gonna know, I ain’t the new kid / Know what you say, before you think it / So put your face in mine, before I break it.”
First of all, on which body part of Otunga’s does he want his opponent to put his face? Second of all, if you’re going with a pretty campy rap song, at least find a guy who could make the delivery intimidating at the very least. You know what good campy hip-hop theme that successfully manages to hide its campiness because the rapper pulled his delivery off properly? This particular well-loved theme, currently used by a Mr. Ezekiel Jackson. Justin Gabriel is very lucky to have dropped this song to Otunga.
Congratulations, David Otunga, you have the most terrible theme song of the year, because no one else is as bad as yours. Which is why we now go on to…
The Bad
The good news: I may have put it under Bad, but it’s actually not that bad. Although you will find out why it’s bad in a moment, this song does actually fit two guys from Puerto Rico, even if it is a bit stereotypical to package them with a dancehall theme. The bad news: it’s absolutely too bland and forgettable. However, I do expect them to get a better version when their stock in the tag division rises.
First things first: take note that this is not the version you’re hearing nowadays when Hunico and Camacho come out in their ridiculous lowrider bicycle. This was the theme Hunico first used after being unmasked by the original Sin Cara. And boy, is it terrible.
I get that it isn’t very melodic in order to give it a tough vibe – that’s actually an understandable creative move – but it’s way too quiet. Theme music is part of what gives the wrestler some momentum and energy as he walks into the match, and you can use any kind of music in order to support that wrestler’s particular character, but what happens when there is very little music to hear at all? The wrestler hardly gets any brand recognition, and thus struggles to get a reaction at all.
While we’re still on Hunico, let’s move on to the theme he’s actually using now. This one is actually sitting on the threshold between bad and okay. While it’s very much an improvement from the first one (the new rap is noticeably better), it still suffers from some of the same problems: there’s not much of a hook, therefore making it not very melodic, and ultimately, impactful. Compare this to the heel version of Eddie’s theme song, which is clearly rougher and grittier, but still maintains the catchy three-note melody of the original “Viva La Raza.”
I want to like this song. I really do. The title is pretty badass, even if a little random (“And The Horse He Rode In On”) and the arrangement is great (there’s even a breakdown in the middle, then the song slightly changes in rhythm). However, the vocals are terrible. The guy singing this song kind of sounds like the dude from Dashboard Confessional, a kind of rock band that has no place supplying theme songs for wrestlers. The first few seconds are absolutely amazing, but it all goes quickly downhill when the vocals kick in.
The WWE often employs theme songs that are both disposable and fitting for the character using them. This is one of those songs, plus it has the added bonus of being generally dislikeable for being country rock.
The terrible hook runs way too long that whoever’s listening would have already tuned out long before it ends and the first verse begins. Too bad that verse isn’t really much better.
You know those generic entrance themes you can use for a CAW in the video games?
This actually goes for around half of the Divas’ themes nowadays: usually, while fitting, the song just ends up having nothing to do with kicking ass. Not even kicking ass in a wrestling ring, but just kicking ass, period. While the ring has been used more than occasionally as a dance floor, this just struggles to make sense when you try and listen to it. (Not that I’m really suggesting that you do. Only if you really, really want to.)
We’re only halfway and we’ve already got nine themes in varying degrees of bad. Let’s lighten up a little and move on.
The Okay
I know a lot of people have liked this song since Alex Riley debuted it after breaking off from the Miz, which is why I’m predicting that I’ll be taking a lot of flak for saying that I really considered putting this under Bad. I listened to the entire song and I quickly discovered that it has zero redeeming qualities beyond the opening riff. Downstait usually makes at least decent songs, but this has to be the worst song they’ve ever done for the WWE so far.
This song is also barely okay, but a lot more than “Say It To My Face” is. It’s a solid instrumental theme that definitely fits Justin Gabriel the high-flyer, but it just never seems to leave second gear. The music is sort of written in a way that makes you expect some vocals coming in soon, but it never really fulfills that promise, especially when the guitars come to a bit of a break right before where somebody should start singing.
Last year, I named Ted DiBiase’s “I Come From Money” theme song as the worst of 2010’s new releases for mainly being a terrible hip-hop song. It’s a heavily auto-tuned affair with “big money” hip-hop lyrics that was really unbefitting a bland white man. Percy Watson’s theme song is very similar, and this time, it fits. Not only is it a better fit for the character, but it’s also a marginally better song than DiBiase’s.
The objective of an entrance theme is to set an aural backdrop for not just the wrestler’s entrance, but as well as the wrestler’s character itself. Both Sin Caras were mysterious personalities from the beginning, and their respective instrumental themes at the very least took nothing away from their characters. You couldn’t imagine any other kind of music that could be used as their themes, even if you weren’t paying much attention to them.
The good news is that this is actually a very decent hip-hop track. The bad news is that it’s not quite as catchy, and it doesn’t help that people are only listening because of the haka (war dance) they do at the top of the ramp. I’m pretty sure they don’t bother to listen to the rest of the song after that.
I have a confession to make: “What’s Up” was a guilty pleasure of mine. But don’t worry, it seems that this theme really doesn’t have a vocal track, and Truth seems to add it on the fly. You can’t deny, however, that the inclusion of the electric guitar takes this theme to a whole ‘nother level.
To be honest, this was never a good song to begin with. Jim Johnston seemed to agree too, considering that this song underwent a good number of remixes. While this latest one (with Matt McCloskey from Rev Theory providing the vocals) is the best version, that’s not really saying much. The metaphor is rather weak (being someone’s… end of days isn’t exactly the best threat you can make), but at least the execution is decent. Barrett could definitely be in line for a better theme when he ascends the ranks further.
Okay, are you still with me? We’re at the final stretch, and I’ve actually got a good handful of themes to put here.
I bet most of you have forgotten about this. The good thing about this song is that its intense nature very much suits Daniel Bryan’s own intense nature. The bad thing is that the song just jumps into the deep end without wading a little bit in the shallow part, meaning there’s no drop before the rise into intensity. Luckily, soon Bryan would change themes, finally finding something better…
Last year, Bryan debuted “Ride of the Valkyries” in its original, classical form, and I put it under Bad. (True story.) It was more because the music and his entrance motions were never quite in-sync with each other. This time, we have a metal version, and now it works. There’s a glissando drop in the beginning just before the guitars crank it up, finally giving me what I was asking for. It also helps that he’s gotten rid of his silly arm-twirling motion he used to do last year, and now that he’s on the verge of turning into a full-blown heel, I expect the song to be remixed even further into a slower, grittier tune.
The Good
I bet this is going to be the most controversial pick here, only because there’s an overall negative consensus on Jinder Mahal. While I won’t blame you for having that opinion, remember that this is a review of the entrance music and not the character.
Anyway, I really love sitars. Every time I hear one, I will listen. Playing the sitar professionally requires a good amount of dexterity and virtuosity, so every time you hear a raga, you’ll always come away impressed. If you’re an Indian pro wrestler, you should be proud of your heritage, no matter how diluted it is, enough to use incorporate sitars in your theme song. I don’t care if it’s way too stereotypical. Use the damn sitar.
I predict that whenever the hell Brodus Clay debuts, this is going to be the new “Some Bodies Gonna Get It.” Another mark of a good wrestling theme is if you can kind of imagine the wrestler him or herself singing his or her own theme, if he or she isn’t already. Which brings us to…
I’m typing this column up at night. It’s kind of dark, and I hit play on this video. I almost tried to close the tab.
I haven’t loved a Diva’s theme this much since Maryse’s “Pourquoi.” (Don’t judge.) Let’s check out our “good theme” checklist. Catchy, melodic, and gives the proper energy? Check. Fits the character? Check. Can kind of imagine the wrestler singing it? Check. All in all, a perfect storm that makes this the best Diva theme of 2011. I dare you not to like this one.
There’s actually not really that much to this song, but it’s catchy and just plain good fun. Just like Air Boom.
When this song first came out, I disapproved of it because I still loved the original “Smoke and Mirrors,” but over time it definitely grew on me. It took me a couple of listens to realize that it was a great remix of the original song, and it was only proper that the mentally disfigured Cody Rhodes run with this. It was also properly retired when Cody moved on from that same gimmick. Then he moved on to…
This really isn’t a bad version of the song. I do like it and actually prefer it over the latest version, but it doesn’t completely jive with Cody’s new character. It’s a little too upbeat, which is why Johnston changed it up a little to give us…
Slowed and tuned down just a little bit. Now it’s perfect for the Cody Rhodes of this moment. This is your third best new theme song of 2011. For your first runner-up…
I didn’t like “I Am Perfection” very much; I thought it was bland and plodding. This year, however, here comes a remix of the song that sounds almost nothing like it, and in the process, coming off as definitely sounding better. I think the new song does a great job of exemplifying both Dolph’s achieved and imminent success. That said, though, I could see it still being changed up in the future.
Now, for the moment you’ve all been waiting for – the best new song of 2011. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:
Honestly? I don’t think I need any words to explain, other than the fact that this song has pretty much been made iconic in the wrestling world. In the meantime, it’s a bit funny and interesting to note that the best song of 2011 is not a WWE original. I’m sure a lot of you are going to run with that.
Well, now it’s time for me to hear what you think. Music is a divisive beast due to its subjective nature, and I’m sure everybody’s got a lot of opinions about all of these songs. So, let me hear them. Do you agree or disagree about how I rated these themes? Do let me know. This is going to be fun.
If you’re an ROH fan, then you’d do well to read my coverage of the recently re-debuted ROH television show. It comes out sometime every week (as much as possible).
Also, for my fellow Filipinos, please tune in to my buddy Stan’s radio show S&M: The Morning After every weekend from 6 to 9 am (10 am on Sundays) on Mellow 94.7. If you find yourself up early on a weekend, do check it out!
