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Posted in: The PEN15 Mightier
The PEN15 Mightier - (Mar 19-25) No Way Out Returns? (plus IWC is Wrong 'bout hosses)
By pen15
Mar 23, 2012 - 11:23:19 AM

Mar 23 - No Way Out - No thanks?

Mar 21 - IWC is Wrong !! about Hosses

Nice Tits, Tough Guy

Another return to the blog style I find made me most effective, I’m going to produce some small editorials about recent wrestling news.

The Return of No Way Out

CLICK HERE FOR News about the return of No Way Out

I’m a fan of the gimmick PPVs. I’ve long explained that there is a way for them to work, and right now WWE is hit and miss with this PPV structure. The Rumble, Chamber, Money in the Bank, Extreme Rules and TLC are truly successful PPV ideas. And there’s a good reason that these work: the storylines don’t need to be forced into them. The Chamber, MITB and Rumble can be simple title contendership matches. If there’s a storyline, even better. As for TLC, there’s enough variety in that gimmick that it doesn’t require nearly as much forcing, as with the options of Tables, Ladders, Chairs, and the ultimate TLC match, any of the top 4 storylines can find a place without too much pulling and prodding. Extreme Rules simply as the WrestleMania revenge event with any gimmick match needed.

But No Way Out will sadly fall into the same issues that the failed gimmick PPVs run into. Hell in a Cell hasn’t worked because the Cell doesn’t fit 2-3 storylines at the same time. Making it a cage won’t make it any better. In fact, there’s a lot less mystique for a cage match than there is Hell in a Cell. I have no problem with a cage match as a rematch from Santino winning the US Title from Jack Swagger, but there’s no doubt that last minute midcard title rematches from TV and storylines that don’t deserve a PPV spot, make the gimmick a bit less appetizing for a WWE or World Title defense.

Now, this doesn’t mean it won’t work. This is a case where WWE desperately need to innovate. And by that I mean copy TNA. Impact Wrestling’s LockDown event isn’t perfect, but they’ve made it work year after year because of the different methods they’ve used the cage. They have had the Lethal Lackdown, Xscape the Cage, best of 3 falls, Cuffed in the Cage…etc. They aren’t all great ideas, but they separated each match in some way.

A Tag Team cage match works well, as there’s some great drama about escaping the cage to win the match when you need both members to do so. I think Hardys vs Edge/Christian at Unforgiven 2000 is a great reference for this, as we saw both Edge and Christian double team Matt Hardy inside the cage. It was a nice twist to the standard cage and tag storytelling, and stood out since over a decade ago. In fact, Legacy worked the same method against DX at Hell in a Cell 2009, locking HHH outside of the cage.

WWE will need to find fresh ways to make cage matches exciting, because 3 straight cage matches will not help this PPV last long.

And on that note, peace out.

Feel free to email me a comment (Email PEN15). One of the best parts of writing is the discussions that come out of it. My hope is that your response could be used in a column to publicly discuss your comments.
Follow me on Twitter if you wish, though I don't really do much with it.

The IWC is WRONG!!!

I started this concept a few weeks back, but it’s the perfect time for it to return to slap you in the faces with the humungous bulbous penis, to emasculate you subhumans, and to force you to submit to the best writer on LOP, PEN15.

Today I’m going to drop the bomb on an IWC hatred that is so misguided and incorrect, yet I was once a part of the sheep-like mentality. Too often in my younger and immature day, did I log on to LOP, and join the masses online to bitch about the same issue over and over. This blind prejudice was disgusting, as I was so single minded, I forgot the total package.

I used to hate hosses/giants/big men also. Today, I’ll show you why I was once fucking retarded, and today, so are you.

You Haters!11! (and other ugly ebonics talk)

During the Monday Night Raw Supershow broadcast, we saw a promo video for what seems to the return of former WWF Intercontinental, IWGP and GHC Tag Team Champion, Matt Bloom, (a.k.a. Giant Bernard, Albert, A-Train) . With only close ups on his tattoos, and the back of a shaved head, mixed with the rumors online about his return to the ‘E, it was rather easily to guesstimate who was being presented in the hype video.

Soon after, the online wrestling community was a clutter, as everyone voiced their opinion on Bernard. I had a chuckle to myself, as I witnessed people who I remember bitching in 2002-2003 at his overpush in the Smackdown upper echelon against Edge and Undertaker, now claim that they never disliked A-Train like so many others.


In that early era of the brand split, it was easily a 9:1 ratio of people who hated Albert to those that didn’t mind him (0% enjoyed him). Today, he’s as welcome to the ‘E as the Grand Dragon of the KKK in Alabama (or whatever brain dead hick area of the US that still lives with racism that is of an equal prejudice as we see online towards anyone not from ROH). It’s funny how quickly people change their minds. Especially when they explain their newfound appreciation for this one hated colossus. Legions of WWE only fans are now praising Prince Albert due to his improvement in Japan.

So what you’re telling me, is that a bunch of shitstain morons who couldn’t tell KENTA from Inoki (and seem to think Yokozuna was Japanese) are now heaving the equivalent of a blogging blow job to Mr. “Shave Your Back,” and all because they equally blow dirt sheet writers and other LOP posters who HAVE IN FACT WITNESSED GIANT BERNARD, and repeat the same beliefs as fact? Hilarious.

The truth is, most people don’t know what A-Train has done outside of the WWE. Myself included. But the idea that someone who does watch foreign wrestling says he has improved is enough for these clowns to claims the same opinion. I don’t share that point of view. I respect anyone who has been let go from Titan Towers, and continues to ply their trade. A certain respect is owed to someone like Matt Bloom, for not returning to a truck driving job, or using his body hair for a success gay porn career (Maybe starring in “Bear-Train”?).

But I’m getting off track. I’m not really talking about the IWC hatred of hosses, am I? My point is to show how herd-minded these oblivious online cretins are. They hated A-Train for the fact that he was pushed due to his size less than a decade ago, yet are open armed today? Did he shrink?

No, but people are fucking goofy.

Khali deserves a Mania spot

I think the best example is a certain Indian behemoth with knees that don’t bend. The Great Khali gets the utmost unreasonable and unbearable comments and complaints thrown towards him. If Khali wins at any point, or even makes an appearance, the verbal diarrhea that spews here is so drastically slanted, it’s fucking laughable. The largest disagreement is his wrestling ability, which I will admit is fully understandable. But in a wrestling program, there’s a shit load of characters that have no wrestling ability, but still serve a purpose. Khali does the same thing, but from inside the ring.

You cannot argue with the sheer immensity of the man. And his chin, as gay as it may sound, is impressive. He just looks like a superbeast, more so than any other wrestler perhaps in history. That transcends on levels you’re obliviously and obviously forgetting. When Smackdown was riddled with injuries in 2007, and they desperately needed a quick fix, they put the belt on the Great One in a battle royale. It wasn’t in anyway a classic match, or a strong title reign. But there was no one credible at the time. By putting the gold on Khali, and making him a monster as champ, it made the angles he was in interesting. Were they great matches? Not at all, but there’s 3 hours on a card. Let someone else add the wrestling to the event, while Khali adds the spectacle.

It might only be a portion of the audience that still buys into size more than skill, but that’s still an impressive size of the audience. Think of how boxing or the dreaded UFC get higher ratings and buyrates surrounding Heavyweight fights. No one would call Mike Tyson or Junior Dos Santos the most skilled of their trades, but their size and strength draw interest. It’s inevitable. Size matters.

Besides, after that title run on Smackdown, Khali has been enhancement talent. A “jobber to the stars” if you will. He isn’t there to bring a five star match, but he’s there to make his opponents look good when he loses. While CM Punk is the WWE Champion, he’s not defeated a man that is significantly bigger than he is yet (other than Cena, which hasn’t really swayed too many people into thinking Punk is the new top dog because Cena is still the main event). Seeing Punk deliver a GTS to Khali, or making him tap to the Anaconda Vice would be one of those star-making moments that he’s been lacking since winning the title in MSG.

And THAT’S the purpose of Khali. And will be the purpose of Lord Tensai. And is the purpose of Kane and Big Show. And that was the purpose of Andre the Giant. They add a spectacle to the event, and can add credibility to the more skilled wrestlers.

So don’t bitch when Khali is on TV or inserted into a PPV. He’s not ruining a show with his appearance; the WWE is making sure of that. They still like giving the audience great matches, but sprinkle in a lot of other shit in between. Sometimes it’s lame comedy, sometimes it’s a great promo, and sometimes it’s a giant freak of nature who is impressive to see.

So next time you want to bitch about how WWE pushes the big men over more skilled wrestlers you prefer, just remember Hogan slamming and pinning Andre, Cena giving the F-U to Big Show for his US Title win, and every other impressive feat your personal favorite stars pulled off against these goliaths. They wouldn’t be as impressive if they lost to everyone on NXT.

And on that note, peace out.

Feel free to email me a comment (Email PEN15). One of the best parts of writing is the discussions that come out of it. My hope is that your response could be used in a column to publicly discuss your comments.
Follow me on Twitter if you wish, though I don't really do much with it.

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