One Man Hype Band - 20-in-2 IMPACT Review (Vote for IMPACT MVP)
May 30, 2013 - 11:35:00 PM
Welcome, old friends and new, to the 20-in-2 IMPACT Review!
Social media is buzzing with the announcement that a ‘big’ signing has occurred in TNA. Those who always find something to complain about are noting that Dixie should not have made the announcement over Twitter. Even still, these people are chatting about the announcement because she made it on Twitter. These same people complain about the ratings, so wouldn’t it make sense to make the announcement in social media and get people buzzing?
I can say that I have not been able to sign on today without somebody asking me about who it might be. As someone who is enjoying the product as is, I’m hoping it won’t be anybody who will rock the boat too much. The only two people I want to see back in TNA—Christian Cage and Alex Shelley—seem to be occupied right now.
Perhaps we will know by the end of the night or perhaps it will be down the line. Regardless, this is the go-home edition of IMPACT leading into Slammiversary and the card is stacked! This is also the debut of the 20-in-2 Review on Lordsofpain. What is the 20-in-2 Review? Basically, it’s 20 responses throughout the next 2 hours. Simple, huh? I may be a Mystic but like the “American Dream,” I’m also just a common man.
20. The best heel in pro wrestling kicks off the show by telling Aces and Eights that the order of business tonight is, “AJ Styles, AJ Styles, and AJ Styles.” The man who just doesn’t learn better, D’Lo, speaks up to tell Mr. Anderson that he, D’Lo, thought Mr. Anderson’s plan would work, but it didn’t. The President, Bully Ray, gives Anderson a look. Aces walk away and Mr. Anderson throws D’Lo Brown into a wall. Now the President is to the ring. He is hyping this Sunday’s PPV. Reminds us that his match with Sting is no holds barred. “Did you really give it thought, Sting?” Bully runs down the list of guys Sting has beaten: Ric Flair, His father-in-law, Hulk Hogan, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy. Bully reminds us that he beat Jeff Hardy, too. Not only beat him but put him out.
19. Bully is ready to rumble. He calls out the two guys who are [right now!] facing Team 3D: Sting and Joe Park. Match quickly breaks into a brawl on the floor. Sting is getting the best of Devon, while Bully gets the best of Joseph Park. We are reminded that Aces is in a bad mood, having been humiliated by AJ Styles. This brawl might be just what they needed. Bully and Sting find each other in the center of the ring. Pushing, shoving, both men go down with a double flying clothesline/cross-body block.
18. Back from break. Joseph Park is having his way with the TV Champ, but some outside interference from Bully Ray turns that around. Tazz tells us that Joseph Park doesn’t have the instinct to be a pro wrestler. Despite that, he’s hanging in with two of the top guys in the Aces and Eights. Devon does the full-on Hogan leg drop, followed by Hogan poses, and blows a kiss to the crowd. STANDING DROPKICK from Bully Ray. A few moments later, Sting RETURNS a standing dropkick. Stinger splashes for both men, but Bully escapes his. Bully has Joseph Park, Devon is ready to dive on him, when the music of Abyss hits. It distracts Team 3D long enough for Sting and Joseph Park to get the win.
Joseph Park, who seemed happier to possibly see his brother than to win the match, seems distracted and perplexed that we did not see Abyss.
17. In a rare appearance, we are told that up next we will see and hear from Dixie Carter. Back from break, Angle is speaking in the back. Says ‘so what’ to AJ not joining Aces. Says there is still respect and history but there will be payback. Says he will be watching Mr. Anderson/AJ up close tonight. Literally.
16. Dixie Carter makes her way to the ring. She mentions this is eleven years. “I’m very proud to announce this Sunday at the PPV we will be unveiling the next inductee in the TNA Hall of Fame.” She says we are all pulling for Sting. The music of Aces hits, Briscoe, Garrett, and Doc. Garrett: “Where’s the love, Dixie? Where’s the Aces and Eights' love? What about Bully? I don’t hear you telling him good luck.” The 3 men from Aces corner Dixie, but it’s broken up by Samoa Joe and Magnus. Joe cuts a HOT promo. Says he will beat Bischoff into the man he will never be.
15. Bischoff jumps Joe from behind to start an impromptu match. Joe takes the shots and stands, still.
14. Back from break. Joe in control until the guys on the floor begin to interfere. Magnus takes on both men on the floor. Match is called short, and Joe does a suicide dive back-first on all member of Aces and Eights. Not much to this match, but it’s damn good to see Samoa Joe back. Joe lets us know that Bischoff and Briscoe and Doc (“You big shaved, ape”) v. Magnus, Samoa Joe, and Jeff Hardy! Segment ends with “Big shaved ape” chants and cheers for Hardy.
13. Storm and Gunner in the back. Storm says Gunner killed for his country and will kill for him. Gunner declares, “War!” Next up it will be Storm and Gunner teaming with Not-Eddy and Hernandez to take on The Bad Influence and The Dirty Heels.
12. Hulk Hogan and Brooke fighting in the back, fighting! Hulk Hogan wants to know what happened last week when Bully told her that he loved her. Hulk Hogan told Brooke he saw the look in her eyes. Man, Bully is not even in the back with them and he’s still driving them apart. Bully is, as I said, the best heel in pro wrestling.
11. The Bad Influence is introduced first, followed by Austin Aries and the “Best in the World” Batman Bobby Roode. Austin Aries doesn’t go directly into the ring (wonder if that is in reference to what happened with Hemme?) Another commercial. Match up next.
10. Gunner kicks off with Daniels. One clean break from Gunner and Daniels takes advantage. Daniels tags Austin Aries, who did not seem to appreciate it. Austin turns around and tags Roode, who seems no happier. Batman, unlike the other heels, gets in the ring and handles his business. Some weak offense from Not-Eddy, who tags Hernandez , who hits a big splash. This is going to be a hell of a four-way this Sunday. Not-Eddy was going big off the top when Aries hit an amazing kick, knocking him off. Great tag team work between Batman and Robin. Daniels, seeing that Chavo is weak, tags himself in. The amazing Super Mex gets the tag and clears all four guys. Shoulder blocks, military presses, back breakers. The only guy who can slow Hernandez is Aries. Austin has one of the most explosive attacks in the business. But Gunner does what Hernandez can’t, makes Aries give up to the Torture Rack. A good match in its own right but also a tease for what should be an amazing tag title match at Slammiversary.
9. An intense, INTENSE segment as Bully Ray blasts the entire Aces and Eights. People who read about Aces online have no idea how unique this group is. Bully Ray passes out threats to not only Anderson but to his own brother Devon. “If I don’t get victims, one of you, all of you, even you [looking at Devon] might end up like D’Lo Brown.” There has never been a group like this, in that, everything they do is reviewed by the President. Aces started as a brotherhood and remains that on good days, but these are not good days. There is a PPV looming and Bully Ray is demanding evidence from his group. He tells Knux he has a job for him, too. AMAZING segment.
8. A Bound for Glory video, announcing that the biggest PPV of the year will be in San Diego, California.
7. Mickie James, the new KO champ, is to the ring. Says it has been almost two years since she’s been champ. “Been a long time coming.” Thanks the fans who have supported her, but…”there have been…some of you who doubted how I won the belt.” She wants to address it face-to-face with Velvet Sky. (I think heel-Mickie is getting ready to pounce.) Velvet is out, with the knee wrapped. Might be a target very soon. Mickie reminds us that she was willing to wait for the match but that Velvet said it was okay to have the match last week. “Give it up for what an amazing KO champ Velvet WAS.” Velvet says, “At the end of the day, business is business, and I want my rematch.” Mickie says, “Wait ‘til your knee is heeled,” but Velvet wants the rematch at Slammiversary. Mickie says she can’t defend the title at Slammiversary because there is already a match between Gail Kim and Taryn Terrell. Gail Kim arrives. Gail Kim goes after the leg of Velvet and it takes Taryn to save Velvet, as Mickie stands and watches it happen.
6. We move into a mixed tag match between Kenny King and Gail Kim and Sabin and Taryn Terrell.
5. Terrell, the KO with anger issues, is quickly on top of Kim. Sabin and King play so well off each other. Two of the three contestants in the 3-Way at Slammiversary. Todd reminds us how much the X-Division has meant to TNA over the last eleven years. Very impressive offense from Sabin, who gets the pin and gives his team the win. Sabin says, “After 2 years and two torn ACLS…” but he is jumped by Kenny King and saved by the third guy, Suicide.
4. A wonderful video with Sting that showcases not only Sting’s history in the sport but his history with TNA. Very few can put things in context like Sting did here. It’s why TNA fans have no problem with the Stinger. That said: I do believe he may rightfully fall victim to Bully Ray this Sunday night. What a man to elevate the President of Aces even further.
3. Main event: Mr. Anderson v. AJ Styles. Anderson smacks AJ in the face as soon as he enters the ring. Hard hitting shots from both men. Match spills outside and we go to commercial.
2. Back from break. AJ continues to dominate, but Mr. Anderson reverses with a sick DDT on the apron. Match goes back and forth, with five minutes remaining, I’m awaiting Angle and Aces and Eights.
1. As predicted, Angle is in and on AJ Styles and the bell is called. AJ goes right after the knee he made bad. Aces is in and attacks both men and now it’s almost like the week before the Royal Rumble, as every man involved in a match this Sunday is out and the war is on.
We are left with Bully and Sting in the middle of the ring. They trade punches. Tazz, “If you’re a Sting fan, watch this Sunday. It will be the last time Sting gets to fight for the title.” Sting hits the Scorpion but it’s broken by Devon. The show ends with a 3D. Aces fill the ring and stand tall just before Sunday’s Slammiversary.
Very much a close-out edition of IMPACT. A lot is on the line this Sunday. We have yet to find out who the “free agent” is. Perhaps we will see this person at Slammiversary or next week.
A couple of notes. This will probably be the only column done in this nature from me. Beginning next week, Mizfan and I will be doing a weekly TNA collaboration. It will deal in part with IMPACT, but will offer room for discussion and a forward lean about what is next.
I will continue to do what I am about to start tonight, which is allow you, the reader, to weekly vote for the IMPACT MVP.
To vote on who was this week’s IMPACT MVP, you can either email me at OneManHypeBand@yahoo.com (put the IMPACT MVP and the date of this episode in the title).
or follow me on Twitter and vote.
How you decide is your choice and can vary by the week. Best match or promo, who you simply enjoyed the most, or who was most influential on the show. Whatever criteria leads you to the IMPACT MVP. Weekly results will be recorded and will lead to the 2013 IMPACT MVP of the Year.
In consideration of fans outside the U.S. who see the show later, voting will be permitted until noon on Monday, June 3rd.
Three ways to vote: In the columns forum, at my e-mail address, or on Twitter. If you give a reason as to why you voted for the particular person you choose, there is a chance it will be mentioned in a future piece.
See you somewhere in social media.