Looking back now, it all seems so obvious, but when it was first announced that the name of what was formerly Cyber Sunday was being changed to "Bragging Rights," BK and I wondered what in the world the theme could be. Now we know, of course, that in a thinly veiled effort to promote their annual videogame, Smackdown vs. Raw, WWE has decided on a new PPV format where the two major brands, coincidentally(or not) RAW and Smackdown have their top stars face off against each other.
This is actually a pretty good idea, considering that they always keep those shows static and we haven't seen guys from those brands face each other for several years now. Wait--no, they don't do that, do they? I don't hate the idea, I really don't, but I do find it funny that the performers are supposed to be brand loyalists when there are 10 or so moves made every year to switch performers from one brand to another--a move that wouldn't need to be made if the WWE would do what makes storyline sense and stop running PPVs every month.
How are we supposed to believe these wrestlers actually have loyalty to the shows that they're on at all, much less enough to team up with hated opponents in order to contest against the other brand? Maybe there should be some kayfabe bribery involved in the form of either bonuses paid out or favors received from the general manager of each brand--oh wait, RAW no longer has a general manager so that they can get "B" level celebrities to come in and take up half the show hawking themselves and whatever lame venture they're doing presently.
The thing is that the brands really are different and they should be treated as such, but aren't. Each show claims to be the "A" show, when really what works on one doesn't work on the other as presently constructed, so while I personally prefer Smackdown--when I have the time to watch the upload online--but that doesn't mean it's the better show, it means it's the show that I like better. I assume there are people that like RAW the best or ECW or even some that prefer TNA to any of the WWE brands.
I know this is all kayfabe, but let's pretend for a second that it isn't, shall we? Why, you ask? Because it's fun to speculate. We all do it everyday about WWE, don't we? There really is no way to determine which is actually the best brand without running a poll of some sort to determine which fans who get all of the shows like better, but even that is subjective. In reality, each brand does have things they should be bragging about, but those aren't things that are ever going to be brought up in matches or the promos for them.
RAW can brag that they've got one of the best wrestlers in the world in Shawn Michaels, the hottest property in the world in DX, and the #1 belt in the world. They can also brag about how they have some of the best young prospects in MVP, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Kofi Kingston. They can't brag they've done anything with them, really, but that's another argument that may be addressed on the PPV or RAW. Another thing they can be proud of is the elevation of Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase to prime time player status.
Smackdown can brag that it's also elevating superstars, such as Mr. Ziggles, the Friday Night Delight, The Hart Dynasty, and Drew McIntyre. They've got the only guy that has never switched brands since they were split in The Undertaker, and they've got the man who's been knocking things out since he's been elevated to the main event in CM Punk. They can also brag that they've got more wrestling than their older brother does. Tonight's PPV is going to be entertaing as all hell, but it isn't going to solve who the better brand is. That's our job.
2. So, that was pretty awesome.
The last WWE PPV was pretty awful and I was glad I watched a stream of it, rather than spending money on it. That ended up being a fairly last minute decision that hinged on my conclusion that they hadn't done enough to get me to buy it. They sold Bragging Rights to me the night after Hell in a Cell with the announcement that there was going to be an IronMan match to decide the fate of two men: Randy Orton and John Cena. Would Orton remain champion while Cena moved to Smackdown or would Cena win the title with Orton left out in the cold?
I didn't know what to expect out of the IronMan match. I mostly bought the event because I felt honor-bound to do so. If you had told me there was going to be an IronMan match this year in the WWE (something that was on my wish list, remember) I would have been thrilled...unless you told me it was going to be between Cena and Orton. I don't know that I could think of two guys less likely to keep me entertained for an entire hour, wondering what the hell is going to happen. They proved me wrong last night.
I expected that it was going to come down to one fall to decide it all--it always does, doesn't it?--and that Legacy would interfere on one side or the other, depending on if they had decided to ditch Orton or not, to close out the match. Instead, they interfered about a quarter of the way through it and were run off by Kofi Kingston and a chair; allowing, I suppose, the former fake Jamaican to get his heat back for being the one to lose the BR trophy fall to Chris Jericho and The Big Show's treachery.
With Legacy's appearance and interference out of the way, that left the slate clean for the two warriors to duke it out to see who was the better man and unlike at Hell in a Cell, Cena eventually proved to be that man. What a terrific match-up these two had! It was full of brutality, psychology, emotion, and everything that makes a wrestling match a classic. This may have become the best IronMan match of all time and is a serious contender for Match of the Year. In fact, it is mine to this point.
Taker and HBK put on a fantastic show at what's supposed to be the best card of the year, but Orton and Cena went a full breathtaking hour that went down to the final few seconds, decided a 5-month long feud between two cornerstones of the future of the WWE, and had something on the line that's more important (or at least should be) than The Streak or the title of Mr. Wrestlemania--the WWE Championship. So now we know that after this fantastic bout Cena remains on RAW and Orton moves to his first non-championship feud since I can't remember when.
So, that happened, and it turned out pretty awesome...what happens next? It seemed to me that there were more possibilities if Orton were to remain champion, but I've got no problem with Cena holding it. I just wonder who steps up now to be the next challenger. Do the other members of Legacy throw their names in the hat? It certainly looks like Cody is going to have his hands full with Kingston after the occurrences last night, while Dibiase hit Dream Street on Cena. It didn't end up losing him the match, but it did cost him a fall.
So, that's an option. Or, Dibiase could still end up turning on Orton and those two could have a real good ol' grudge feud, while the man who's promised not to lose a match before the end of the year steps up to challenge Cena. I really have no idea what direction they're going to go, and that's exciting to me. With Batista gone from the show, Jerishow and DX likely to feud, and Orton agreeing he wouldn't get another shot at Cena, there's a fresh main event scene on RAW. I'm interested to see who and what this opens the door to. I can't remember the last time I was this excited for Monday Night RAW. I hope they don't fuck it up.
3. I guess Red was right after all and Andy just a dreamer.
My thought for the day refers to the classic movie The Shawshank Redemption and the Stephen King novella from which it takes its name. Red is a character that has been institutionalized in Shawshank State Prison and is the guy that can get anything you need from the outside. He gets Andy Dufresne a rock-hammer, with which Andy eventually breaks out, but not before he and Red have an exchange in which Red(played in the movie by Morgan Freeman) tells him that in that place hope is a dangerous thing.
I closed out yesterday's thought by saying that I was looking forward to RAW for the first time in a long time and that I hoped they didn't fuck it up. Well, in a sense they didn't, because it was a pretty damned good episode, despite more than one appearance by the fucking little troll. However, they killed my hope anyway by announcing that the next two championship matches were going to be involving old mainstays instead of looking ahead, which seems a giant step backward after what they've done this year.
I understand on RAW that there is a lack of heel challengers for Cena, but that's no reason to rush some bullshit triple threat match. I think it's pretty obvious that DX is going to end up splitting as a result of this matchup occurring, while I don't think I'm alone in wanting to see them take on Jerishow. Those two teams are the most dominant teams we've seen this year and we've already seen DX go against the other dominant team of the last few years, so why not extend them a little longer to make that feud happen?
It sure seemed like an obvious way to go after The Big Show hit his "knock-out punch" on Triple H Sunday night, but instead they decide to just blow that off with a one-on-one lumberjack No-DQ match on RAW, while making two guys that to many of us earned their stripes against DX look like complete idiots both by being verbally mocked by Cena and then losing to WSMVP. I understand that both guys are still young and still learning, but who exactly does something like that serve? Was it done in the name of amusement?
The fans may have been entertained for a few minutes by Cena's putdowns, by being able to agree with him that Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase haven't earned anything and by watching the weird babyface team of Mark Henry and MVP cheat to get a supposedly embarassing victory over them, but that's all it was: a few minutes of entertainment. Just when it looked like the two men were breaking free of Randy Orton's influence and could contend for a championship, they pull them back under his wing as failures.
Basically, instead of being on the path to stardom--which they were less than 24 hours ago--they're now headed toward Santino or Eugene levels of ineptness and eventual release. Am I overreacting? Maybe a bit, but they had a chance to let a couple stars start shining brighter and they didn't take it. Just like they didn't with Kennedy, Jack Swagger, The Miz, Morrison, Regal, Christian, Matt Hardy, and on and on and on. Morrison and The Miz are debatable, I guess, considering that they are both currently holding midcard titles, but the others are stalled.
Just like CM Punk is already. People were raving about his emergence this year as a serious main eventer and now look where he is. He dropped the World Title to a man who can barely walk, tapped out to him on Smackdown, wasn't involved in the decision at Bragging Rights, and now apparently isn't going to get another shot at the title. So where does he go from here? Home? Where is this new star intiative the WWE supposedly has? I'm pissed at them for not looking to the future, and that gives me hope. A dangerous hope that the WWE doesn't have one.
4. Inconsistency, thy name is Randall Keith Orton.
I originally planned on writing about the Hulkster joining TNA today, but I woke up really pissed off and decided today wouldn't be a good day to write about that. Tune in tomorrow for that topic, when there may be yet more news about it to add to my discussion. My fellow main page contributer here at LordsofPain.net, Mazza, has come up with a terrific new concept that I may take part in one day called "The Smarks Court." So far there have been two editions; if you haven't read them yet, I suggest you do so. They are really good.
In the first one, Sam...er...I mean Uncle Joe posited that Shawn Michaels is an overrated performer. I thought his argument was well presented and just and that he made his case very well, so I voted him innocent of charges against him. The majority didn't agree, however, and he ended up convicted and sentenced to a whole bunch of community service and being unable to post in the CF for 30 days. Stiff punishment, but hopefully not as stiff as 'Plan will receive for stating that Randy Orton is doing his job well. Here's what I had to say about it:
"So, let's see, a year and a half ago The Viper was an entertaining character that was dominating the main event scene. Then, he gets injured. Now he comes back as the Viper and sucks. And that's on the bookers and he's playing his character to a tee? Nope, I don't buy it. The original Viper character was dynamic and engaging. This one has the personality of a brick. Guilty on all accounts and doubly guilty for making such an obviously ridiculous claim."
Mazza responded, "Now here is a man that knows what he is talking about. I am wondering however if you would change your mind after Sunday. For me, one moment of greatness does not wash out all the crap that came beforehand."
No, it doesn't for me, either. Randy Orton has been absolutely terrible since returning from injury last year. He's had a couple of moments of brilliance, but those moments pale in comparison to the amount of times he's been just plain boring, both in matches and in promos. I think it speaks volumes about the characters of Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase that they haven't been turned completely into Orton clones considering that it appears that's what the WWE has been trying to do with them; they've got more personality than him by far.
Orton had the opportunity to learn from both Triple H and Ric Flair--two legends of the business, whether you like them or not--almost from the moment that he was a full-time performer in the WWE. His mindset, his character, and just about everything about him is so different from either of them, though, that I can't help but wonder if he actually did learn anything. I read Jim Ross' blogs and how he is amazed at how good Randy Orton is at this young of an age and I have to wonder what the bloody hell he's talking about.
Orton was fantastic putting Shawn Michaels out and in his feud with John Cena in 2007 right up until he lost the title in a Fatal Fourway Elimination Match at Backlash 2008. Since then, he's sucked, plain and simple. Again, he's had moments of brilliance. The ambush of Triple H and subsequent DDT and kissing of Stephanie McMahon come to mind, as does his performance in the I Quit match at Breaking Point before screaming that he quit almost immediately upon being locked in the STFU--I don't care, I ain't PG. I'll call it by the real name.
The WWE has succeeded more times than not when they pick their guys that are going to be big stars for them. Brock Lesnar is really the only one they missed on that I can think of at the moment, but that wasn't due to a lack of ability, it was because Lesnar didn't have the desire to be a professional wrestler; at least as his final career path. Orton's different, because while from time to time he shows the ability to tell an amazing story in the ring, the rest of his interactions leave me wanting to fall asleep.
We see in every other sport times when a guy has what's known as a "career year" and is never that good again, and rarely ever heard from. In entertainment a musical artist can have one great album and then be mediocre or poor forever. Sometimes an actor finds one role with which he can connect extraordinarily well and be magnificent in and never land another. As far as I can tell, Randy Orton's career year was from early 2007 to Backlash 2008. Everything before or since then has been subpar from what you'd expect from a main-eventer.
I'm not the only columnist who has railed against the WWE for not creating new stars, but I'm probably the one that has been the most outspoken about it and while yesterday I called Randy Orton a "cornerstone" of the WWE, that's because they see him that way. I don't. Franklin P. Jones once said, "The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too late to walk back." Well, the WWE has been trying to run with Randy Orton so long that I'm not sure they know how to let him down easy and allow someone else the chance to try to walk their way up the stairway to stardom.
5. The Hulkster could be a good thing for TNA.
I know, I'm really going out on a limb there, aren't I? Still, it's how I feel. The Internet Wrestling Community is very good at speculating over every little thing that happens in the world of which it so much wishes to be a part. Nigel McGuinness signed on with TNA and immediately people were saying how much they were going to hate him having a new name and how the WWE lost out on not signing him up, but then we find out his new name--Desmond Wolf--is actually pretty cool and that WWE passed on him for medical reasons.
Hulk Hogan signing a contract with the #2 wrestling promotion in the world is hardly a little thing, of course, but how much do we actually [i]know[/i] so far? We know that he has signed on and Bischoff has signed on, and that Ric Flair [i]might[/i] sign on because of his business arrangment with them. We know that Bubba The Love Sponge claims he's seen the contract and that Hogan is the booker. That's all we know. Do I believe that Hogan is the new booker for TNA? Hell fucking no, I don't.
Dixie Carter has made her mistakes, but I don't believe that she'd make that one; not as well as Russo and company have been doing lately, not after sending Booker T packing and dropping the piece of deadwood that Booker T has always been, firing Jim Cornette for a backstage outburst against Russo, and suspending Kevin Nash for going into business for himself. I just see no way possible that she'd do all of that and then say, "Nah, I changed my mind. Vince sucks and has no idea what he's doing. Hulk, you come in and run the show."
Bullshit. Didn't happen. I wouldn't be surprised if it's true that Hogan and Bischoff were able to negotiate something with which they control Hogan's angles, etc., but that would be about it. Now, is that such a bad thing? No, I don't think it is. I think both Bischoff and Russo have had bad ideas and both have had stellar ones. It annoys me slightly that Bischoff isn't going to be an on-screen character at first, because I think he makes an awesome cocky, arrogant dickwad and TNA needs a weasely dude like that.
Anyway, here's the thing: everyone seems to be assuming that Hogan and Bischoff are going to come in and try to bring in Ed Leslie and all of the rest of the old gang that's still alive and kickin' and win the World Title right off because that's what happened when they took over WCW. I really don't think that's what we're going to see. I think Hogan needs some cash, wants some new exposure, and wants to have a final run that feels like a final run. I neither foresee nor desire him having a run as TNA World Champion.
Am I being naive with the former half of the dual verb of the preceding sentence? Perhaps. But, really, why does Hulk Hogan need a world championship? He's already the biggest name in the history of professional wrestling. I think that's more than enough and that he can go out there for a year and have blockbuster matches that are main events while someone else is the standard bearer for the company. What I'd really like to see is Hogan go on a series of "dream matches" only wrestling about once a month. Is this possible? You bet your ass it is.
Hogan was the biggest name in wrestling for over half a decade when he only had one televised match every 4 to 6 weeks and a PPV match quarterly. Do you think he can't do something similar again even without a world title? If you do, you're mistaken. Hogan could have matches against "legends" such as Ric Flair, Sting, Scott Steiner, Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, and Jeff Jarrett(if the two can coexist) and also give "the rub" to guys like Abyss, Matt Morgan, Samoa Joe, Desmond Wolf, and AJ Styles. Those would all be big-time matches without the world title involved. If they follow this course of action, Hogan can get his money and spotlight and TNA will have the chance to show the world what they have to offer. This is potentially a win-win, folks.
6. It's a good thing I ain't tryin' to sleep, cuz ain't no way I can count all them sheep.
Hey, look everybody! Xan's using bad grammar! Alert the police! Better yet, alert Super Chrisss! Seriously, though, folks, I really thought that was the best way to phrase the way I feel watching Impact! unfold the last couple of weeks. Truth be told, I didn't see the entire episode last night before I had to run off to work, but I did see about the first 45 minutes, which means that I caught Desmond Wolfe's cool entrance music, his--get this--entrance, his promo, and the interruption of it by Kurt Angle.
I'm pleased as hell that my boy Nigel is getting a feud against such a major superstar upon his initial entry into Total Nonstop Action, but at the same time, I have to wonder if it's really bad timing, after all, considering the blurring of the lines that's going on. Let me ask you something: I didn't just dream the last 12 months, did I? I mean, the Main Event Mafia did exist, right? And Kurt Angle was a heel during that entire time and for quite awhile before, wasn't he? And wasn't that organization formed to push down the youth?
Wasn't there also a "Super Impact!" that aired four days before Bound For Glory on which Kurt Angle wrestled AJ Styles to a time limit draw where he had the ankle-lock on as time expired, and thus declared himself the winner and the true World Heavyweight Champion? I mean, really, I'm not making this stuff up, am I? I have to believe that I'm not and that these things really did happen, because if not I'm probably living in a loony bin somewhere writing this shit on rubber walls with my own, well, shit instead of typing away on this keyboard.
Because continuing on with this--or anything else--if I really am living in some kind of fantasy world(and boy, if I am, I sure did a lousy job) I'm going to make the dangerous assumption that I'm correct on all accounts and these events did actually occur. So, this being the case, please explain to me how one excellent match against Matt Morgan suddenly makes Kurt Angle completely change his position on the young studs in the company. I'm waiting. What, you're not going to? Good. Why should you? TNA hasn't explained it, either.
This plot twist is akin to Princess Leia Organa telling Luke Skywalker that she's always known he was her brother in Return of the Jedi when she gave him a french kiss in the previous movie in front of Han Solo and the Wookiee. Yes, I know his name is Chewbacca, I just enjoy typing (writing in poo?) Wookiee. When that scene happened in the movie, the audience let out a groan, and there's even an "Everything I Needed to Know I Learned From Star Wars" that includes a reference to kissing your brother in it.
So, why does it seem like I'm the only one that groaned when Kurt Angle came out and said how much he now respects the TNA Frontline? I know as wrestling fans, we are supposed to have short memories, but this is ridiculous! This isn't character development, this is retroactive character rewriting at its very worst and it's sickening to me that the crowd of regulars at the TNA Impact! tapings are going along with it. TNA has been firing on all cylinders lately, but not with this decision, and there should be some derision going on.
Instead, what we're getting are chants of "Angle! Angle! Angle!" which make no sense considering the "angle! angle! angle!"s that had gone before. All of this makes me doubly glad of the name the professional wrestler formerly known as Nigel McGuinness chose for himself. I can't get my ass down to Florida to try to whip those morons into shape. If I could, I would, but I can't. I've got a shortage of funds and a lot of responsibilities. No, I can't be around to shear these sheep, so it's a good thing there's a Wolfe there to harry them.
7. In this case, boo who you like; I'll derive pleasure either way.
As I've said a few times since I started this whole shebang, I don't get Smackdown on my television anymore. I'm left trying to watch it whenever the WWE bothers to put it up on their website or searching out all the various parts on youtube. Lately, my computer's been in the shop so I don't even have access to do that, which means that I've been doing something the last couple of weeks that I abhor and that I don't encourage in anyway. Yes, my friends, I have to admit that your paragon of virtue has been reading the Smackdown Taping Results.
Again, I do not encourage you to do so, nor do I condone it, but I never said to do as I do, I said to do as I say. I try to be a good example for my wrestling-watching brethren out there and in this instance I truly feel guilt-free, because I'm left with two equally sucky options: reading the "spoilers" or not knowing what happened on the show. Sure, I could read the results, but being without a computer and having to type today's column early makes that even worse of an option.
Why do I feel guilt free about my decision to read the taping results? For the same reason that for the first time I can recall I placed the word spoilers in quotes. I'm not really spoiling myself because I know that I'll be unable to watch the program in a timely manner. I'm sure once I get my new pc my friend is creating and/or once get my laptop back from the shop and/or get a PS3 I'll be able to go back and catch up on all that I missed, but I hardly expect that I'll bother. It takes time to do that; time I don't necessarily possess.
Because I wasn't actually able to watch last night's show, which hopefully you did without spoiling yourselves; and shame on those of you that did--you know who you are; I couldn't tell for myself how the crowd reacted to Batista and Rey, but according to the report Dave was the one getting crowd support. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the WWE pumped in crowd noise that would be more like the reaction they were looking for, so if I did watch it I may have gotten a completely different impression than did those who were in attendance.
I did, however, watch Bragging Rights(or Bragging Point as Dolph Ziggler apparently called it) and despite my column from a week ago cheered along with the crowd while Batista destroyed Mysterio. Why? Because I'm tired of the little fucking runt playing around in a big man's world. I alluded to that last week, remember? Well, I do, anyway. I also remember that when I talked to him Wrestlemania weekend Mysterio was a hell of a nice guy who loved the shirt I was wearing (the one that came with my Viva La Raza dvd.)
Rey's good people, but that doesn't mean he's someone I like to see in a WWE ring; especially, again, as long as it remains the land of the giants, and Batista is someone I have had a hard time liking since the injury he suffered during his first World Heavyweight Championship reign, so I'm glad to see that he is finally turning heel after being stale for so long. To me it's equally possible that the crowd was cheering Batista for turning to the dark side as for the simple fact that he was beating the shit out of little Rey Rey.
Both were things I'm happy about and another thing that makes the list is that I'm sure the crowd's reaction is confusing the living hell out of the writing team, and that's something I'm all for. The writers do such a bad job the majority of the time that they need to have their fundamental beliefs shaken from time to time; one of which has always been that they know what we need better than we do. So if the WWE Universe-aduh is choosing to keep Batista babyface, I'll release schadenfreude at the writers' expense instead of Rey's. This time.
