Posted in: The Northern Star Excuse The Aggravation: Episode 95
By XanMan
Sep 4, 2009 - 7:40:04 PM
Excuse The Aggravation, but I'm BeyondKnight and I am thinking about running for Congress.
As long as you run in Minnesota. I really want that Lemon Coke. Having to slice my own citrus is soooo demeaning.
You get smacked around a lot by Mrs. Xan huh?
Ro...Ro...Ro...It's Magic!
With
XanMan and BeyondKnight
Hello boys and girls and welcome to the BK/Xanny Pow- *smack*
Fine, welcome to ETA. Today Xan and I go over the biggest party of the summer, pontificate about the Last Hardy Standing, and tell you just how obsessed with Batman your friendly neighborhood BK truly is. So get this thing started before Xan hits me again.
So partner, how much did you hate SummerSlam? Was it your normal rage inducing event or something that caused you extra consternation?
Okay, so let's go on a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 meaning I absolutely loved it and 10 meaning I despised it. Using such a rating, I'd have to give the summer spectacular a -2. I was blown away; it was the best PPV I've seen in a long time. I was texting a guy I just met over the weekend who's been out of watching wrestling for a while(and who also is a likely future brother in law to me) and I texted him 2/3 of the way through about how strong an event it had been to that point, giving it a solid B+. The final two matches put it up in the "A" range for me. Even the ECW squash was handled pretty well.
Wow! I think this is the first time in BK/Xanny Power Hour History that we agree on something! Yeah, I was very pleased with the event as well. The pacing was excellent, everything built upon itself both in terms of storyline advancement and audience intrigue. The match styles were varied and I thought everything was given enough time to really play out without ever dragging on. Plus from a theatric standpoint, that DX entrance was awesome.
That was one of, if not the, best special entrances ever. And this is as good a time as any to say I was wrong--DX did a great job and Rhodes and Dibiase stepped up to the occasion and looked like stars. That match did more for them than the 9 months of being Orton's lackeys. Rhodes especially looked like it was going to take a shot from that tank to keep him down, which is great after all the abuse he's taken in defense of Orton this year. What did you think of the Mysterio/Diggler match?
I was highly entertained and I also came to a personal revelation. I've always been kind of indifferent towards Rey. I don't hate him by any means and I am always curious to see what Super-hero he will appears as for Mania, but that's about it. Lately however I've gotten the impression that Mysterio is out to prove that he is a legitimate main eventer and that he deserves another run with the Heavyweight belt. And I think that he might succeed. I also think there is great potential for a CM Punk/ Rey title feud somewhere in the not so distant future.
My biggest problem with Rey Mysterio has always been that he gets his ass kicked for 85% of the match, then hits two ridiculous moves to win it. That didn't happen this time; it was back and forth and Rey won it by countering into a top-rope hurracanra, which is a much more believable finish by a guy his size than a big splash. I notice you didn't elaborate on the DX/Legacy elevation.
I was trying to take a high road and not revel in my righteousness with a supreme "I told you so!". If you are going to force my hand though there is nothing I can do about it. When DX faces a team like they are a serious challenge, it elevates them. Rhodes and Dibiase got twenty minutes on one of the biggest shows of the year to show exactly what they were capable of. Now, everyone assumes that Dibiase is going to be turned face and kicked out of Legacy. However, I think it would be much more intriguing to have all of Legacy turn on Randy Orton. Look at it this way, Legacy came out of SummerSlam looking great even in their defeat, while Fred came out looking like a bitch even in his victory. It seems to me like Fred needs Legacy much more than Legacy needs Fred, and I think that Rhodes and the Dibiases are going have that same epiphany in the coming weeks.
You know what epiphany I've come to? I'm tired of speculating about what or might not be happening because someone's going to be in a movie, or their contract is up, or their contract has just been renewed. It doesn't make me more of a fan, it makes me less of one, and I enjoy the product much less when I know and care about all that bullshit. Now, that being said...there's no doubt that Orton needs Legacy more than they need him, and always has.
I don't believe Rhodes and Dibiase have been strengthened by their association with Orton, and I think Orton's character has been hurt immeasurably by his metamorphosis from a lone viper to someone who either cares about or uses a great deal of energy to pretend to care about another person; and yet, there's always the possibility of him retaining his championship so the new perception of the Orton character is that he needs those guys to keep his strap; something that wasn't in the equation a year and a half ago.
Let's talk about the main event and then get back to what so many people think to be a travesty that happened in the match before it. What did you think of the match and its aftermath?
What's not to like? Originally, I thought a TLC match would be redundant after Jeff's ladder match with Edge that started the current feud. However WWE was able to create enough personal animosity between Punk and Jeff to really get the audience invested. Also, sometimes these high spot dependent main events can lose their sense of continuity and it just seems like the superstars moving from one spot to the next. This match didn't suffer from those problems and I honestly had no idea who was going to emerge with the title. And that Swanton from the ladder was simply amazing.
As far as the aftermath was concerned I was completely enthralled. The mystique of the Undertaker's power is one of the last shreds of the wrestling world I have left from my childhood. The fact that at any minute the lights can go out and Taker can appear and wreak devastation should lead to some entertaining episodes of Smackdown. In my last column I said SummerSlam functioned as a "season premiere", and that segment completely set up the upcoming story in just about the best way imaginable.
When the lights went out and the bells chimed, I was breathless with anticipation, and thinking, "Oh, no!" for my boy, CM Punk, but I didn't notice the switch until Taker had Punk by the throat. Not exactly the way for a face to behave, but Taker's always played by his own rules, and it definitely was the best way for him to make the statement that he's coming after the World Title. How does the straight edge superstar counter the walking dead? I'm already intrigued.
As for the match itself, I've heard people say it's not one of the top 5 TLC matches of all time, and subjectivity aside, how could it not be included? What other TLC match--save Edge/Cena--has had the kind of raw(actually, Smackdown) emotion of this battle? When have two polar opposites been so diametrically opposed with neither side giving a fucking inch? I take nothing away from CM Punk, but he didn't so much win as survive Hardy's loss. I rewatched the match three hours after it ended and was still enthralled. And, you're right about that Swanton: it was the best executed I've ever seen and looked like it would kill both guys.
So, shall we tackle the meaningless controversy in the other title match?
Well people had to have something to bitch about as far as the PPV was concerned. The IWC is just like a woman, if they aren't bitching, the aren't happy. Maybe the Fred-heads thought this would be the night were Fred would dominate Cena decisively. Keep dreaming. Lots of people seem to be upset because they so desperately want Randy Orton to be something he's not. Fred is not a bad-ass, he is a coward. That characterization has consistent ever since he came back from his last injury. Instead of displaying dominance, we got an unusual finish. But it was unique in it's strangeness, and one that I liked. I thought it served it's purposes well. I couldn't wait for Raw to see what would happen next, and after Raw I became uber pumped for the I Quit match.
Honestly, I am pumped for the I Quit match, too, though there's a high probability that I won't watch it. We've got more important things to spend money on, so I'm really only planning on getting the 4 biggest events of the year. As such, SummerSlam was money well spent. Now then, why am I pumped for the I Quit match if I don't plan on watching it? Because it means we don't have to spend the next couple of weeks watching Randy Orton develop a submission hold just because there's that stipulation for the match; meanwhile both Undertaker and CM Punk have submission moves as secondary finishers already, so they can have a believable submissions match.
Now then, watching as a fan, I enjoyed the hell out of the WWE Title match, and obviously the crowd did as well. They popped every time Orton was thwarted and were shocked as hell at someone running out of the crowd to attack the referee--as I assume we all were. Orton keeping the title is heartbreaking to Cena fans, but it's still a relatively clean victory. Orton may be a coward, but he's a coward who things of himself as an unbeatable predator, so this only enforces his ego, and thus, the amount of pleasure at his eventual downfall.
Precisely! Of course there are members of the audience that share Fred's delusion. In a strange way they almost add to the spectacle. Honestly, it wouldn't have been that far out of the realm of possibility that some crazy fan might have run in, instead of it being part of the scripted finish of the match. And as far as the I Quit match is concerned, I still don't think we have hit the payoff yet. If you look down the calendar there is an event that the powers that be have renamed Hell in the Cell. And while most people seem to think that it will be headlined by the return of Hunter/Fred, I think that is the prime destination for Cena / Orton. I also think that the WWE is starting to slowly change Cena's character. I have been noticing hints here and there that indicate a change to a more ruthless John Cena.
There certainly have been, and that kind of minor, subtle, long-coming character tweaking is what always works the best. John Cena may not be a technical marvel, but it isn't his job to be. He understands the wrestling business the same way Hulk Hogan and Raven do; he gets a reaction from what he does and nobody can ever say he's boring. He does his job well, and if he ever turns heel, it'll be because it's right for the character--not because people are tired of seeing him walk the line.
Don't you think people are being a bit harsh on Khali and Kane? After all, can there really be a perfect WWE card without a hoss match?
I absolutely do. Kane and Khali's immense size just don't translate as well on television. But when you witness their immense size in person with the naked eye it really is a sight to behold. And I don't know what people are complaining about, hasn't everyone and their brother been practically begging for a return of the Monster Heel version of Kane. Isn't defeating Khali, cleanly and definitively on PPV the first step towards that? And honestly, it wasn't that bad of a match as far as a hoss match is concerned. If that match was headlining the show for the Undisputed WWE Championship then I could understand the complaints, but this was 5 minutes of undercard. People needs to get some perspective.
Yeah, they do. I suppose it can be argued that their 5 minute match could have been added on to Regal/Christian, but Regal isn't the kind of wrestler that works well within those confines, which is why he always struggled on RAW. Regal is a tremendous wrestler, but he takes time to tell a story in the ring; 5 minutes just isn't enough for the guy. Christian actually works the same to a lesser extent as does--and this is vaguely important, I think--everybody else; except, possibly, John Cena and The Great Khali...
Who happened to be a participant in this match, which, as you said, wasn't bad at all. Vince McMahon has always believed in the three-ring-circus theory of professional wrestling, and despite the fact that there were no female wrestlers on the show, as you said we got something varied in every match. This one was the hoss match, and it far outshined their Wrestlemania effort against each other, plus the right guy went over fairly cleanly. Finally Kane wasn't being used as enhancement talent, and people are still fucking bitching about the match. What did they expect to happen, Khali to catch a moonsaulting Kane with a hurracanra?
I don't always know what some people expect. I'm pretty easy to please.
We've already talked about how their SummerSlam match against DX made Rhodes and Dibiase look awesome, but for my money, it was Cody that looked like an absolute star. With this in mind, did you think he had any shot to win the WWE Title on RAW?
Honestly no. I wish that I could, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen in that instance. That being said I still thought it was a great idea and it's a scenario they should definitely revisit down the line. Maybe during next summer's period when they typically hand out what I think of as the "dress rehearsal" title reign.
My biggest fear for Cody is that he doesn't have much of a defined character outside of "Dusty's son". And we all saw how well that scenario played out with Dustin Rhodes. While I don't think he'll need to as extreme to become Gold-Cody, I think he needs some kind of unique characteristic to slightly differentiate himself from his Legacy brethren. Maybe he can become the "intelligent" wrestler of the group, as opposed to Fred's "IED" persona. Or maybe he can try his hand at being more of a straight out brawler as opposed to Ted's mat technique. Hell, they could even give Cody the "Foley treatment" and have him be the one that can absorb the most punishment and revel in the violence. For Legacy to be most effective, the audience needs to have connected with them as individuals by the time they are broken apart.
I think they've already started positioning Cody as the absorbent guy of the group, what with him being the whipping boy for practically every one of Randy's opponents since the formation of Legacy; he even had to watch his old man get beat down. Is he at Foley levels right now? Absolutely not, but I think he has a more well defined character than the younger Ted Dibiase, which both is and isn't surprising.
Eventually, he definitely needs to expand on that, but I was amazed at the reaction he received on Monday. Did you HEAR the way the crowd was chanting for Rhodes at the end of RAW? He may not be ready to be WWE Champion yet, but I don't think he's far off. If he were to pull a face turn soon, he would have the audience eating out of his hand, and have a great chance of being their next break-out star.
I think you have a good point there. Cody and Ted have both been getting more opportunities for growth in the last couple weeks, which is a step up from the lackey roles of the past. It's not like Hawkins or Ryder shot straight to the top after the Edge-Heads broke up.
And, there's a great column in the columns forum right now regarding Mr. Ryder. I urge you and our dedicated audience to check it out.
And people call you a self serving ego-maniac. Oh wait, that was me... Either way if you too have a column you'd like plugged, please send a $50 dollar check or money order to ETA. Hey, what a great transition into:
Mail Time!
We have ourselves a request, BK! This comes from our good buddy, the master of the American alphabet, Andy:
Next time, how about discussing where Matt Hardy is going with his current character?
Well, personally, I don't like it. I'm assuming that this course correction is being done because a) they never really intended to turn Matt heel and did it to thwart internet rumors and b) it was pulled off so terribly. After his heel promo, they could have done something awesome with Matt and instead they turned him into Random Heel #2. Matt's always been better as a heel; nobody is going to care about him as a babyface, and his injury could have been a blessing in disguise to bring him back as the brutal, violent, devil may care heel he should have been ever since that promo and his subsequent beatdown of Helms. Instead, it feels like they missed another starmaking opportunity.
I really go back and forth as far as Matt Hardy is concerned. I never bought him as a realistic heel for anyone other than Jeff so I think that I am on board with the character reboot they seem to be in the midst of. Xan, I've got to disagree with you about him not being able to get over as a face, especially with the vacuum that Jeff's departure is going to create. The first time he hits a Swanton in a match will equal a huge pop. A prolonged feud with Jericho might be able to reinvigorate Matt and we could even see a return of the fabled Mattitude.
Whoa, wait...Matt's going to do a Swanton? What the hell are you talking about? Anyway, in answer to your Jericho idea, yeah, Jericho could get Hardy over as a face, because Jericho can get anybody over as anything. If he were to all of a sudden feud with the Big Show, he could convince us all that Nasty was actually a smurf. But, what happens after that? Would Hardy move from there into a feud with Ziggler? Even if Ziggler had the I-C Title, it would still seem like a de-elevation. Having Jeff come out and annoint Matt as his representative might help, but I don't think anything is really going to be lasting for him...especially since we know he's not moving into a feud with Punk anytime soon.
I don't know about a feud with Ziggler being a de-elevation. What about a potential feud with Kane? I think that if positioned correctly, Matt might be able to capture the frenzy that Jeff Hardy created. Someone needs to. And as far as the Swanton is concerned, he'd be a fool if doesn't hit one of those now and again. Maybe a temporary teaming with John Morrision against Jericho and Show would help elevate them as face contenders. It seems to be working for MVP and Henry. The bottom line is that there is a wide open main event scene on Smackdown and the audience is going to want to gravitate to another mega-face they can cheer on. It will be Undertaker for the moment, but I think that in the long run Matt might be in the best postion in his life.
I'm not saying Matt shouldn't use the Swanton Bomb, I'm merely questioning whether he's capable of performing the maneuver. I still think the Twist of Fate is a sucky finisher, but I doubt he'll ever stop using it, since it's over. I was surprised that he stayed true to his brother on Smackdown, but I'm glad he didn't help Punk defeat Jeff for two reasons. 1) Punk needed a clean victory to get fully over: he got two. 2) We don't need an unresolved feud.
I know what you mean. I hate when things go unresolved. Did you ever watch Twin Peaks? What the hell happened to Agent Cooper after he came out of the Black Lodge and he was possessed by Killer BOB! I NEED TO KNOW!! ANSWER MY LETTERS DAVID LYNCH! ARGHH!!!
David Lynch? Those are the kind of peaks you like? No, sir, I prefer those that belong to Velvet Sky and Jillian Hall; in fact, if you put Kelly Kelly's face on Jillian's body, that would be the perfect looking woman.
There already was a perfect woman. Her name was Laura Palmer. But now she's dead... wrapped in plastic! (for those of you not getting the reference go get the Gold Box Set of Twin Peaks: The Complete Series and thank me later)
5 Good...
Reasons Batman: Arkham Asylum should be 2009 Game of the Year.
1 )For the first time ever in video game history the player is able to become completely immersed and become the Caped Crusader. This is the video game long suffering Bat-fans have been waiting for.
But what about us long suffering Iron Fist fans? What do we get?
Sold to the Mouse. In the words of the late Ted Kord, BWAH-HA-HA!!
Yeah, we'll see who laughs when Danny summons his Chi and knocks that squeaky-voiced motherfucker out.
2)The storyline and script is written by Paul Dini, one of the men primarily responsible for the awesomeness of the DC Animated Universe: Batman:TAS through JLU.
He's no Joss Whedon, but then again, who is?
Anyone that manages to get a TV show to last more than 1 season. Keep holding out hope for that Buffy reunion movie, Xandy.
You have some serious-ass fact issues here. Buffy lasted seven seasons, Angel five, and Dollhouse will soon start it's second. The only one that didn't last a season was Firefly, and that franchise got its own feature film. Oh, and he also wrote Toy Story, in case you aren't aware.
3)As a Playstation 3 exclusive you are able to play as the Joker. Who doesn't feel like being a sociopath some times?
Me. I feel like being one all the time. If only that damn conscience didn't get in the way.
Your meds help too Oh I forgot to mention they redesigned Harley Quinn with 200% more slut!!
I'll still take the White Queen, thank you.
4) The game includes over 200 Riddles and secrets to solve and uncover. They make excellent use of the extensive Batman mythos and this allows the player to become the Dark Knight Detective.
Doesn't that just mean he's like Sherlock Holmes in a cool costume?
Sherlock Holmes kicks ass. If those rumors are true and he is gay in the new movie I am going to positively go ape-shit.
And nobody will be able to tell the difference.
5)This is the next big game that will inspire the jump forward onto next-gen systems. Bundling this game with PS3 and an Xbox 360 system could do gangbusters for the upcoming holiday season.
Jesus Christ! It's not the holiday season, it's the Christmas season. We're not PC here! But, yeah, that game does make me want to buy a PS3.
Big Finish
Apparently Brett the dickhead thinks he has hurt ribs. Do you give a fuck?
Not even a little one. The only QB I care about is Big Ben! Farve can go the hell back to whoring himself to Wrangler jeans. We are gunning for lucky number 7!
This year is the 25th Anniversary of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. What do you remember about the Heroes on a Half Shell?
Isn't it "in a half shell?" I certainly remember that. Plus, wasn't the villain named Shredder? And, I believe they were all named after artists: Raphael, Donatello, Michaelangelo, shit like that. That was really my baby brother's scene.
I still haven't seen Inglourious Basterds . How much of a loser does that make me?
That doesn't make you a loser. If writing wrestling columns on the interweb doesn't, I think you are in the clear. Plus, I still haven't seen Wolverine.
Since Transformers and G.I. Joe both made butt-loads of money, what property from our childhood would you like to see Hollywood exploit next?
I would say "Monopoly," but they're already making a feature film about that; and they've already done the Inspector Gadget thing, too. How about M.A.S.K.?
I loved the original mini-series "V," and there is a re-imagining of it coming on ABC. Are you looking forward to it?
V is one of those mini-series that I always knew that I should watch but never got around to. But I do love me some sci-fi so depending on it's scheduling (and mine) I might try to put it into my repertoire. I really need to shell out for a DVR.
Hockey season is just around the corner. Did you learn your lesson not to bet against the majesty of the Pittsburgh Penguins?
No, No I haven't. Besides, haven't I already made plain how much I detest hockey? Even if my wife's favorite animal is a Penguin, that doesn't stop me from detesting your variety of them, sucka!
Detest all you like comrade, Geno Malkin still owns your soul.
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That's all we've got. We'll try to do better next time.
