{Argument: Some of you may remember that I lost a bet to my new ETA partner, BeyondKnight, a while back that had the stipulation that he'd be able to pick the theme quotes for The Northern Star for three months. This is the second installment of that payoff and this week BK has elected to honor the late, great, John Hughes by including only quotes from Ferris Buehler's Day Off.}
"I did not achieve this position in life by having some snot-nosed punk leave my cheese out in the wind" - Edward Rooney
Who do you miss? I miss my brother every day, and when I don't see my wife or kids enough, I miss them terribly, but that's not what I mean. When it comes to entertainment, we all have our bands we'd like to hear more music from, our movies we wish could be done better or sequels made of, television shows we believe ended too soon. Personally, I wish the real Guns 'N Roses was still together and had never been interrupted by ego, drugs, and jail. I wish the now-defunct WB would have understood how good of a show Angel was and kept it around. As for movies? Top Gun is a movie I've always wanted to see a sequel to. It was set up for one so well at the end, but I guess we'll never know what happened to Maverick and whatever that professor chick's name was.
We all have these things that are dear to our heart that we'll never get to experience again unless it's in some watered down way. Axl Rose calls his current band Guns N' Roses and Slash and Duff have gone on to form Velvet Revolver, but neither of them have the distinct sounds of the original, David Boreanaz is plying away at Bones, but I'll never see him as Detective Booth, and look what's become of Tom Cruise. Meanwhile, all the guys that I miss from professional wrestling are never coming back and the ones I wish would stay away don't seem to be able to. Let's get the two controversial ones out of the way first.
Yes, Chris Benoit is believed to have murdered his wife and child and then killed himself, but I'll say forever that doesn't change who he was as a wrestler, so I want him back doing what he did best. My feelings on The Rock are well known, and I hate that he turned his back on the wrestling industry and his fans, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't mark out like a motherfucker if he returned tomorrow. If there's someone out there that doesn't know the WWE could use the shot in the arm he'd bring, I don't want to meet them. What about others that are lost to us--Owen and Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Brian Pillman, Davey Boy Smith, Ravishing Rick Rude, Curt Hennig. God, I want them all back, don't you?
"When Cameron was in Egypt's land..."let my Cameron go!" " - Cameron Fry
Wouldn't you love to see Bret Hart back in action, even if it was just for one match in TNA to take on Kurt Angle? I know I'd mark out for that match more than I have for any match in the last 5 years. All of this is just wishful thinking, though. These great performers are gone from us. Still others can't seem to stay away, and though I wouldn't mind seeing more of their greatness, I hate the shells that they have become. Bret Hart has been out of the game other than his induction into the Hall of Fame and a brief television appearance since January 2000, but I bet he's honored to have been asked to come out and appear for an organization that embraces professional wrestling the way ROH does, and I wish I'd been able to scrounge up the money to attend the Chicago show, but que sera.
Professional wrestling doesn't seem to care much for its wrestlers that have come before. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they don't respect them and try to emulate them, but there isn't any kind of support system really set up, and guys one sees as stars seem to end up either dying young or doing some kind of menial labor to make ends meet once their careers expire. When I went to Wrestlemania Axxess expecting to meet and get the autographs of some WWE Superstars, I was quite disappointed that some of the names there to do the signings were Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Seargeant Slaughter, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Tito Santana, and The Honky Tonk Man.
These guys were bigger than life when I was growing up as a wrestling fan, and if I had had the same opportunity twenty years ago, I would have been excited as hell to meet them. Two decades later, though, these guys are washed-up has-beens trying to hang on to glory that is no longer theirs. While I don't begrudge them trying to relive some of their past celebrity, I found it rather sad. In fact, it angered me that they were there in place of current superstars. So, it ended up that the only superstars whose autographs I got at Wrestlemania Axxess were Gail Kim and Molly Holly. Yes, Molly Holly is also retired, but she's hot, from Minnesota, and my favorite women's wrestler of all time, so I wasn't going to let that opportunity pass me by.
If Bret Hart had been there, I could say the same, but I just couldn't bring myself to get excited about the "legends" that were there. It certainly seemed that there were lots of people that felt differently, though, as the longest line I saw was the one for Piper; presumably filled with people trying to connect with one of their heroes and relive their youth in some small manner. Piper is probably the biggest superstar to never win a World Title, but he never seems to be out of the public eye for long, which could be why I was so apathetic about his being there. Plus, he wasn't much of a surprise since he was in a match at Mania Silver, anyway. It's hard for me to get psyched up over somebody who was never a world champion, did his best work against legends, and seems to appear at least twice a year to spout off some kind of nonsensical gibberish and pretend that he's still relevant.
"Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude" - Grace
I suppose the end of that last sentence is also something that can be attributed to Stone Cold Steve Austin, but I can never picture him in that same light. Maybe it's because I followed him from his debut in WCW and always expected that he would be a great, or maybe it's because he saved the WWE by becoming the very antithesis of the guy that first brought "sports entertainment" to the mainstream. Maybe it's because Austin's body was torn apart by a fluke mistake by Owen Hart and it's sad that he's not able to wrestle anymore and is another guy that was taken away from us too young. More than likely, it's a combination of all of these factors that is a reason why I would stand in a line for a couple of hours to shake the guy's hand and talk to him.
I feel the same way about Hulk Hogan, because as much of a politician as he was, and as bad of a guy as he seems to be in real life, if it wasn't for his partnership with Vince McMahon, I may never have discovered the sport of professional wrestling. I wish I felt the same about Ric Flair, but as much as I admire the guy for what he once was, he turned into a caricature of himself, and even with the dvd sets to remind me of his glory years, I'll never remember him for that greatness. He's no longer the "Nature Boy" to me; he's just going to be the washed up guy that refused to leave the sport when he should have. I was asked recently if I felt the same way about Terry Funk, and my response is, "How could you not?"
So, with that in mind, the list of living professional wrestlers who I wish were still around and wrestling as they once did--taking the political discussion out of play--looks like this: Bret Hart, Steve Austin, The Rock, Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and Sting. I haven't mentioned the former two yet, so let me touch on them briefly. Randy Savage was an amazing in-ring performer, who has done both wrestling moves and personality acts that I've never seen by any other wrestler; in a perfect world, this guy would have been the one to bring wrestling to the masses, not Hulk Hogan; or the one to have kept the NWA competitive in the South, not Ric Flair.
"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people." - Ferris Bueller
To me, he always seemed to exemplify the best traits of both those legends, and yet never reached the heights that they did. His possession of the body of Jay Lethal serves to allow us a glimpse at some mannerisms of his and--heartbreakingly--a vivid reminder of what's been lost. With Sting, of course, we have the exact opposite, as a persona that should have been only a temporary departure has overwhelmed the vibrant personality that once lit up what was once a far too bland organization. When Steve Borden set aside his colors to become The Crow, he also laid down his heart.
Which, I guess, in a way brings us to the present day, as we have the shameless imitation and homage of Randy Savage that "Black Machismo" inhabits and the black and white Sting that uses The Stinger's finishers, but doesn't display the flamboyance, speed, and daring that first made Borden the superstar that he was. But, who else do we have? Which wrestlers performing right now will you miss desperately when they're gone? Who will you want back? As far as I can see right now, there's only one that I'd care that much about--at least in the WWE; Chris Jericho.
Starting the day Chris Jericho threw a fit and became a whiny, egotistical heel in WCW, he broke out and showed what an entertaining performer he could be, and he's been one of my favorites ever since. Right now, he is my favorite, aside from the greatest man who ever lived--the champion of the organization thatt still upholds wrestling. The two years plus that he was gone from World Wrestling Entertainment sucked, and when he leaves again to retire, or pursue another career in entertainment will be a dismal day for any fan of professional wrestling. He's easy to love and easy to love to hate, and there's no one else like him.
Yes, when Chris Jericho leaves again, it will be a sad day, but one assumes that given the way he appears to have lived his life and career that it will be on his own terms. His idol, however, was unable to do so, originally, and when I first heard that Shawn Michaels was no longer physically able to wrestle and was being forced to retire due to a bad back, I actually shed a few tears, but I don't expect to do so when he retires again. As great a performer as he still is, both in ring and out, I feel he's limited because of his refusal to portray a bad guy, which despite his natural charisma (or perhaps because of it) is where he's always been at his best.
"Hey, babe! Some day you might need a favor from Ferris Bueller! Then where'll you be?! Heartless wench..." - Kid Collecting Money
Triple H is a tremendous performer, who due to his marriage with Stephanie McMahon will probably be in the wrestling business the entire remainder of his life, but if he wasn't going to be around, would we miss him terribly or would we just move on? Randy Orton is a third generation performer who grew up in the business, but he's also a young punk who doesn't appear to know where his bread is buttered or how to give back to the organization and despite flashes of brilliance has never been able to capitalize on tremendous talent. Edge has all the gifts one needs to be an outstanding performer in the business, and his 9 world title reigns seem to indicate legendary status, but he also hasn't had a strong title reign among them, is oft injured, and is basically the most decorated transitional champion of all time. Jeff Hardy is probably just a passing fad. John Cena comes the closest to being a current icon, but he mostly connects with kids and is no longer the character that first got over with the "WWE Universe"-a duh.
I've been ranting for a few weeks now about how the WWE needs to create new stars, but the realization just hit me how long it's actually been since they've made one. Steve Austin was 13 years ago, The Rock 11, and nobody since is even close, so it's no wonder I don't think the future looks bright. The skies are full of darkness, because all the old stars have gone out and there are no new ones to light the way. What we see above us isn't just the black of night; it's also ash. We need a new big bang; unfortunately none of the performers we have right now is capable of the lighting the fuse.
Long days, pleasant nights
"...You're still here? It's over! Go home. Go!" - Ferris Bueller
What matches have you been watching? Orton needs to work with young stars for them to get the rub from him? If he is so terrible like you say then what rub would they get from beating him? The way that he has been booked is maddenning for sure (especially with Super H ALWAYS having to look dominant), but that's not his fault. Jeff Hardy was never hotter than when he went up against Orton and neither was CM Punk. How can you blame Orton for CM Punk's flame out first World title reign? Mr. Kennedy is the DEFINITION of overrated. What great matches did he ever have? Besides that stupid name gimmick and being injury prone, what will people remember about him? Nothing. If he goes to TNA he will fail there as well because he is simply not that good. I love Punk, but that reign ended because of Vince and nobody else. MVP? What's great about him? He's ok, but not a great performer by any stretch of the imagination. Who stopped that program? Vince and nobody else. Kennedy and other WWE workers even said that Orton didn't cause him to be fired and that he simply pulled Ken aside and told him to be more careful. Hell, he already had heat for injuring Cena not long ago! That guy was not safe in the ring, wasn't good in the ring, and couldn't stay healthy. 3 strikes and you're out. Besides Shawn Michaels, what veteran puts people over and gives them the rub? HHH? They should call HIM the undertaker the way he buries careers. Undertaker? When has he jobbed clean to anybody? Cena? Great job elevating the Miz! I'm sure he appreciated it. Why hold Orton to a standard that no other wrestler lives up to? Not liking Orton is one thing, but bashing him for that is unfair and something that the almighty IWC needs to stop. Just because you have a little blog and an agenda doesn't mean that your opinion is credible or even that you know anything about the inner workings of the business. I've watched wrestling for over 25 years and that doesn't make me an expert, it makes me a fan. What about Mark Henry? Since Orton put him over clean look at how high his credibility has risen and how over he is with the fans. What about that great little match with Evan Bourne? Bourne didn't benefit from that? And Ted Dibiase Jr.? Everybody in the IWC damn near wet themselves when they saw the potential of Ted when he was in there with who? Orton. I think your problem is the people you were expecting him to give the rub to. Kennedy and MVP don't deserve it. CM Punk is doing just fine on his own and only needed to be given an opportunity to run with the proverbial ball. Jeff Hardy, Evan Bourne, Ted Dibiase Jr., Cody Rhodes, and Mark Henry have all gotten the "rub" from Orton and they all seem to be doing just fine. When HHH jobs to someone besides Cena or his buddies HBK, Batista or Orton or even decides to help out Jack Swagger or Kofi Kingston or Legacy and stops beating everyone senseless and killing their heat, then that would be a column worth writing about. Not some random innuendo you hear about all top guys from which Orton is not excluded. Well written piece though as always!
While I may not like Randy Orton(at the moment) and think he's overrated by the WWE's management, that doesn't mean he can't give a rub to other wrestlers. Perception is everything, so a guy looking strong against or going over a main eventer and former 5(6, whatever) time world champion is obviously going to help a young career. You cite Orton's matches against Bourne and Dibiase; matches which occurred after my decision to stop watching RAW, partly because I was sick of the way in which he was booked.
However, you say The Miz didn't get any rub at all from working with Cena, and yet you seem to indicate that their losses to Orton helped give them a rub. Mark Henry? You think a guy who is one of the most dominant guys in the company and a former ECW World Champion got a rub from beating Orton? You've got to be kidding me. Meanwhile, Orton and Rhodes have been at Orton's side for nearly a year now and are worse off than they were before he started "mentoring" them. The Undertaker doesn't put people over very often anymore, but he has helped get Kane, Mankind, Shawn Michaels, Brock Lesnar, Edge, and others to the top. Triple H was instrumental in the careers of Foley, The Rock, Orton, and Batista. I don't think it's too much to expect Orton to start doing the same thing.
If you think it's a coincidence that the waves crashing upon Orton's shore were pushed back with no effect whatsoever, that's fine. I can't prove you wrong. I have no "insider knowledge" for my "blog," nor do I have any evidence either way, but I do find it suspicious, and felt compelled to say so. I hope you're right and my suspicions are wrong. Time will tell.
Ty writes:
I've been reading your column for a while now and with the recent match that now decides the raw main event (for now) at Summerslam, what is your view on the Cena/Orton showdow? Do you see this being the "what should have been the main event at wrestlemania" live up to the unfinished hype left off from their feud two years ago? And while I'm at it (more than one question i know), do you feel raw's main event scene is on the verge of becoming fresh this fall.
Thanks,
Ty
The ETA that's coming out this week should answer these questions for you, along with a scenario as to how they can freshen up almost everything on RAW in a two-night span. Stay tuned.
Wait, did I really just plug my own column? Do I have no shame? Apparently not.
You can send any comments by email to me at XanManX@hotmail.com with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line; or, if you're a member of the LoP Forums you can click here to leave feedback, as well.
