Posted in: The Northern Star Excuse The Aggravation: Episode 93
By XanMan
Jul 28, 2009 - 10:27:00 PM
Excuse The Aggravation, but I'm XanMan. BK, have you got everything set up just right in your office now?
I've got it set up quite nicely. Especially since those bastards at The CF Network cancelled my show and took away my keg-inator. As soon as I get some new interns, we are going really going to rock this place!
What the hell is it with you and interns? I'd much rather have some Playboy bunnies running around doing shit for us.
And have rabbit turds everywhere? I am not here to clean up that kind of mess. Fire away with the first topic Fearless Leader.
I'm actually going to put up the opening credits first, and then we'll be right back with these beautiful people.
With
XanMan and BeyondKnight
Hello boys and girls, and welcome to ETA, today we talk Undertaker and Batista's end of the road, the same for Brotherhood, and the fork in the road for the Colons, but we start with...
Jeff Jarrett. Amazingly enough, it appears I was wrong about JJ getting the World Title soon, as apparently he's too busy banging Karen Angle to remain at TNA for any length of time. Do you think this will have any affect on the male Angle?
This may have tremendous repercussions for Kurt and TNA as a whole. I can only see this scenario playing out one of two ways. Either Miss Dixie shows Double J the door and pretty much gives creative control of TNA to Kurt, or Kurt decides that he's had enough of and returns to the WWE to finish out his career. I remember hearing rumors a while back that Karen was a major influence on Kurt's decision to leave WWE. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but don't you think it would be a huge detriment for TNA to have the guy who is basically the biggest name and icon of their promotion to jump ship back to WWE?
Well, it would definitely be a "sink or swim" type situation, but I actually think that having Kurt Angle as their top star is what's hurting them. Angle is still great, no doubt, but keeping him at the top, along with the rest of the Main Event Mafia--sans their newest member--is something that's generally seen as hurting the organization. If he isn't going to put Styles, Joe, Daniels, etc. over, then the organization has no future, anyway, so to me it's better for them to shoot for the stars with their young ones than for sure dying with the old.
I really don't see her turning creative control over to either guy, though. Ever since she's been the over, it's been done by committee, and I don't think that's going to change. I think things would be exponentially better, though, if they let Jim Cornette run the committee; or at least participate with it.
I don't think it would hurt to give him a shot. TNA is in this semi-remarkable state were they really don't have all that much ground to lose. The biggest question I have about the entire situation is who in the company would have it in that badly for Jeff that they would risk the company's stability by leaking the affair? I guess any publicity is good publicity though. Do you think any of this will end up playing out on television? I suppose that it could be an elaborate work by TNA, but I don't really give them that much credit for being able to pull off something that creative.
Nor do I. Speaking of creative, though, what do you think about this J-Eezy character that Jesse is going with now?
It worked for Cena. Truth be told, I thought splitting up Jesse and Festus might leave Jesse out in the cold. I guess this is their way of compensating. I'll give it another couple of weeks before I pass judgment. Personally I am surprised Jesse's name hasn't been thrown around as an addition to Legacy. He is a 2nd generation Freebird after all. Maybe he's not enough of a Fred-clone.
Maybe Ray Gordy's name has been thrown around as an addition to Legacy. How would we know? Do we really need more members added to that SINO(Stable in name only?) How many guys does Randy Orton really need doing his scut work for him? Personally, I like the character change. I rather enjoyed the team of Jesse and Festus, but like usual the WWE decided to split them up for what seemed like no other reason than just to do so. I'm surprised that you thought Jesse would be the one left out of the loop, though. How much demand could there be for a drooling, sap-faced man that only comes fully awake when the bell rings before the start of a wrestling match?
I suppose you have a point there, but Festus can keep up that gimmick essentially paired with anyone. And it's something that is at least memorable. Jesse was just this guy without much intrigue about him. I can't say I ever envisioned him breaking out as a solo star. I suppose I never thought of that for Festus either.
Speaking of mysterious changes, I just bought tickets to the WWE PPV that is going to be here in Pittsburgh in October, only to find out that it is now called "Bragging Rights". What the hell do you think its theme could possibly be?
I really don't know. I suppose it could have something to do with feuds that don't involve titles and coming up on the winning end of them, but it's a pretty dreadful name; I don't see how that really lends itself to a theme; especially with so little time to really set up a new personal rivalry. I just want to throw out there again how much I hate the whole monthly PPV thing.
I have a huge fear that this PPV is going to be the anti-NOC, where no titles will be on the line. Although WWE usually puts on pretty decent shows when they come to the Steel City, especially when it comes to PPV. And of course, it's months away so there is no real reason to worry about it now. As far as PPVs are concerned, I don't mind the whole monthly thing. WWE has 24 hours of television time a month between the 3 brands and Superstars to build with. 24 hours to build towards a 3 hour show seems plenty. I think the major complaint about the monthly PPV stems from the fact that you just don't know which PPV is going to be spectacular and which one is only going to be average.
That may be a concern, but it's not my concern. My concern is and always has been the poor storytelling that's a result of the limited time, the expense that comes with it to the fans, and the repetitive feuds that develop because of it. The days of the 80's and early 90's were far better far all of these reasons. Anyway, I find it hard to believe there would be a WWE PPV without at least one of the main championships on the line, so I think you can drop that fear.
Is the splitting of the Colons 1) repetitive after the Hardyz feud that just ended, b)really fucking retarded, or c)both?
No, the Hardy vs Hardy feud was the fucking retarded one. Maybe it wouldn't have been if Matt's guts weren't in the process of exploding, but what we got definitely didn't raise either performer's status. Jeff got back to where he was, a main eventer in the title scene, and Matt got from the ECW main event to the Raw mid card. That's a step up or a step down depending on who you talk to. Regardless, the Colons haven't really moved up or down in the ranks. I am wondering if perhaps this isn't the end of the character changes. After a little bit of a feud Primo might decide that his brother's mindset is the way to go and they rejoin as a heel team. Or maybe Carlito may align himself with another heel and Primo with another face and we can see a new spin on the tag team division. Think about it, Primo and Morrison vs Carlito and Miz as an example. Maybe this is just another bad decision by the booking team to bust apart a team for no good reason, but I won't condemn it before they've had the opportunity to explore any potential pathways.
The fact that the booking screwed up the Hardyz feud doesn't make the feud itself retarded; it makes the writers retarded. The Colons feud reeks of the (un)creative team once again deciding that tag teams have no place in their little dreamworld in which they work in television and not in professional wrestling, and splitting them for no reason. It isn't like this is an organic split that makes sense in the story that's been told so far; this is Carlito deciding all of a sudden to be a dickhead to his brother because, oh, I don't know, maybe his shoes were tied the wrong way or something.
As to your other point, who the hell wants to see Primo as a heel? That cat's got charisma that should be used to push him as a major babyface, since they made the bold(read: tired) decision to split up a dynamic tag team too soon. I really hope the Young Bucks and Murder City Machine Guns never go to the WWE, although I think I'm going to watch their match against each other from PWG tonight; I don't know what the hell I've been waiting for. BTW, for those of you who don't know, my comparisons in the past of MCMG to the new Rockers was premature--the Young Bucks are the team that more aptly fits that description.
I don't read rumors anymore, as you should know since you're a constant reader of my column, but what I'd do with Shawn Michaels is simple: put the WWE Title on him. Eventually that strap should be held by MVP, Kofi Kingston, or both; maybe even Jack Swagger, and with Randy Orton seemingly unwilling to put over any new stars, Michaels is the guy that should be doing it. Plus, I want to see the guy with a solid run with the title; something he hasn't had for over a decade now. Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong.
I was mainly referring to the rumors that we perpetuate amongst ourselves, not necessarily genuine news from our illustrious main page reporters. Regardless, I can't tell you that you are wrong in this situation because I believe in what you are selling. Shawn Michaels definitely has a special kind of magic that can elevate his opponents up to the next level. And I had a realization the other night. Jack Swagger is awesome, lisp and all. I think it's between him and MVP to be crowned the next 1st time World Champion.
I agree, which means they'll probably pull someone out of nowhere to make us look like chumps.
5 Good...
Reasons that Showtime shouldn't have cancelled Brotherhood:
1. Jesus Christ! I'd apologize to the devout out there if I gave a fuck for taking the Lord's name in vain, but I just touted the show last week.
What's funny to me is that you did take the Lord's name in vain (and you will be smote for it eventually), but you bothered to capatalize the Lord in your Heretical rhetoric.
2. It is one of the few shows that got better every episode.
What about the Suite Life of Zack and Cody. They are on a boat now. Boats are awesome, just like the song says.
I'm on a boat motherfucker take a look at me
Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea
Busting five knots, wind whipping out my coat
You can't stop me motherfucker cause I'm on a boat!
3. Brotherhood is the show that first got Showtime on the board as a premiere network for television shows, despite years of trying.
What don't they just copy HBO's winning formula. First there were Mafia titties. Then Yuppie Bitch Titties. Now Vampire Titties.
4. Decko is the best conflicted cop left on television now that Vic Mackey has hung up his Shield.
I think you are forgetting McGruff the crime dog. You know that he wants to hump those kids' legs as much as he does take a bite out of crime. Now that is confliction my friend.
5. Jason Clarke and Jason Isaacs gave a brothers' performance we'll never see the like of again.
That's only because the networks keep ignoring my petitions for a "Wonder Years/Boy Meet World" reunion crossover extravaganza. I haven't worked out all the details yet but picture this, Topanga on Winnie action.
Lie Detector
We will see a heel turn by the Undertaker using his evil powers to terrorize the WWE one last time before he retires.
God, I fucking hope that's true, but I don't think it is. If rumors are accurate, he's going to start his retirement tour after Wrestlemania XXVI, and I just can't see him going out as a heel.
Along the same lines, Kane will be the one to retire Taker.
LIAR! At least I hope so. Kane/Taker III isn't the note that I want to see Taker's career end on. Personally I agree with you, I want to see him come full circle and go out exactly how he came in. A scary badass trying to take out the the most popular wrestler of the generation.
Batista will retire before either HBK or the Undertaker.
He definitely should for his own future health. I think he wanted to have one last good run, but he needs to face facts--the way his body keeps breaking down, it's never going to happen; This one's true.
Nigel McGuinness will leave for the WWE before he has the chance to become the second ever 2-time ROH World Champion.
I'm note sure Vince is hiring To work for the WWE you have to do things their way, and I don't know if Nigel would be content to stay in ROH where he is guaranteed a spot in the main event rather than try and start all over again for Vince. I'll go with no on this one. Now watch him come out as Jericho's mystery partner.
Triple H will eventually become the on screen authority figure instead of Stephanie or Shane McMahon once Vince finally steps down from the role.
Eventually is true; instead of is false, so I guess I push.
TNA will have a second cable or network(non-syndicated) program before ROH has its first non-premium one.
TNA can barely handle the one show they have now. Someone will pick up ROH simply because the fan base does seem to be increasing and there is a profit to be made. And besides, HD channels are expanding every day. HDnet could go non-premium sometime this year.
Big Finish
Mark Buehrle pitched a perfect game after being told by his teammate to do so. What amazing feat can you perform on command?
No joke, I can eat my way out of a plastic bag over my head. I used to win money with that trick in college.
Steelers training camp starts next week and the local Yinzer sect cannot wait. Early predictions for this years' season?
The 49ers will suck...again. Terrell Owens will be an asshole...again. The Patriots will go undefeated and actually win the Super Bowl this time.
Laffy Taffy's: Explain the appeal.
Dude are you that dead inside? Taffy kicks all kids of ass, unless you are doomed to forever be in braces. Dorks.
The Blackest Night saga is tearing up the DC Universe right now. What is your favorite comic "event" of all time?
It's got to be "Fatal Attractions," doesn't it? Val Cooper revealing a betrayal to X-Factor and leading that team to new leadership, Cable and X-Force reuniting, the betrayal of Colossus, Wolverine getting his adamantium ripped out by Magneto(thusly revealing his claws of bone) and leaving the team, and the pyschic lobotomizing of Magnus by Professor X all in one storyline? Yeah, that wins.
I started reading "Cross Country," which I got in hardcover a few months back, and it's terrible so far. So, do I keep reading to justify the $15.80+ tax expense(it was 40% off) or just put the damned thing down and attempt to read something good?
Finish what you start. Quitter. And try a library next time.
A library? And have other people's germs touching mine?
Besides, I still haven't returned one of the Sandman graphic novels.
Alright, folks. That's all we've got. We'll try to do better next time.
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That's all we've got. We'll try to do better next time.
