Posted in: The Northern Star Putting the X in Wrestling(Fall/Early Summer 2009)
By XanMan
Jul 14, 2009 - 9:39:58 PM
I know what you're thinking...
The WWE's ratings surge is a sign of a new cycle starting.
The injuries to Matt Hardy and Edge are devastating for the WWE.
I said I'd be back every quarter, and I'm very, very late.
But, I, Xan, say...wrong, wrong wrong. Like Chuck Norris, Xan is never late. Time just slows the fuck down.
So, yep, it's me popping up again with my third posting in the last five days or so. Everything kind of got jumbled together, but hopefully that won't happen in the future; sometimes things just converge that way, y'know? This time out, we've got loads to talk about--the problems with RAW, injuries, awards, and a struggling artist drops by to debate the dichotomy of the WWE Universe. Yes, I said dichotomy, but there won't be that many $100 words...you know where to deposit the money for the few there are. Let's roll out.
X-Amination
So, let's see who they managed to mess up this time. Oh yes, it's MVP again, isn't it? I don't know how many of you have dusted the cobwebs from your memory of the last time we did this, but you may remember that I proposed a scenario by which MVP's losing streak could be ended to his benefit. Unfortunately, though, the WWE didn't do what I suggested and we've ended up with what we have now, which is basically nothing. Sure, he got another United States Title reign out of it and a two-week minifeud against the current WWE Champion, Randy Orton, but naught else. I know, I know, what can you really expect, right? Well, you can expect the WWE to realize at some point before it's too late that they need to create new stars on RAW, which is supposed to be the flagship show for the company. Why set up your flagship so that only members of the old guard are in a position to keep it afloat? Shouldn't it contain the best and the brightest?
What is the most common complaint heard about the booking in Total Nonstop Action? It's simply that they continually push guys that are generally seen as old and washed up ahead of their young guys--affectionately dubbed TNA Frontline. People complain that they want to see AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Christopher Daniels with the World Title and The Murder City Machine Guns with the tag titles instead of guys like Mick Foley, Kurt Angle, Jeff Jarrett, Sting, and The Dudley Boyz hogging the straps. To me, that's a fair point...but why isn't the same complaint made about the WWE as it relates to Monday Night RAW? Okay, I admit, if you look on the surface, it certainly seems like the red brand of the latter has been far more dynamic than the former, but aside from two short reigns by Chris Jericho and a test drive by CM Punk, what have we seen in the main event over the last three years there? Basically 5 guys, right? And two of them are now injured.
Does anyone really want to see Randy Orton, Triple H, and John Cena keep trading the WWE Title back and forth for the next six months? Or for our reprieve to be the walking hospital room known as Batista? No, of course not. Maybe there are some fanboys out there that want exactly that, but given the booking lately, I can't imagine an adult fan in their right mind wanting to see these matches again. Something needs to change; it's needed to change for a long time, but now with the piling up of injuries, it seems that this situation is finally reaching a critical mass, and there's absolutely no reason for it. RAW doesn't have to be a stagnant place filled with comedy acts, long-ass promos, and stale wrestlers at the top of the card. While it does currently seem like forever since RAW has been this way, it really hasn't been; I can remember back to the middle of 2006 when RAW was the most exciting show on television; it's really only been three years, folks.
If you'll remember, at that time we had just crowned two new WWE Champions in the last six months: Edge and Rob Van Dam; who both used their Money in the Bank contracts to win the championship. Since then, by my count, the only first-time champ we've had is the mini-reign by CM Punk last summer. RAW desperately needs some shaking up; you know, the kind of shaking up that Smackdown routinely gets...and shaking up does not include the title changing hands every month or so because of stunt booking or tag teams being split up just for the sake of splitting them. At this point, a shake-up would be new guys on Monday night actually getting a chance to shine; you know, the way guys like CM Punk, Jeff Hardy, John Morrison, and The Hart Dynasty are getting their opportunity over on the blue brand. It's pretty weird the way the WWE sets up their brands, isn't it? What is the fucking point of them using a tier system?
Recently Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, and Jack Swagger were moved over to RAW with absolutely no notice, whatsoever--and in the same match, no less. The question isn't: why were Swagger and Bourne moved. The question is, "Why weren't they moved sooner?" I questioned this move privately, simply because I was wondering why in the world they'd move those two over to RAW and the Harts to Smackdown, but I think the reason is pretty simple: RAW needs the help, so now the question is whether they get it or not. Using ECW as a feeder brand to the other two is a pretty retarded notion; they should do something to differentiate the brands, but as far as I can tell, they've got RAW as the talking/comedy brand, ECW as the minor leagues, and Smackdown as the brand where wrestlers go to...wait for it...wrestle. I don't think it's any secret that I'd love for all three brands to be set up the way Smackdown is, but I know that's not going to happen.
All I can really do is applaud a trade that I think can be the start of a turnaround for RAW. I know that Vince is too sure of himself and his ideas of what the general populace wants to see--ideas that actually tend to make the organization look like a laughingstock instead--to ever completely get rid of the half-naked bimbos and what passes for comedy on the show, but they may at least try to find some kind of balance now between the wrestling and the humor; between the old and the new; between the rising stars and the old veterans. I haven't watched RAW for the last two weeks because, to be honest, I haven't been interested in it once they did the Donald Trump bait and switch. I really wanted nothing to do with it, and once I saw that Trips and Cena were fighting in a top contender's match, I was even more annoyed. Now I'm going to give it another shot. Let's hope they don't fuck everything up again.
X-Traordinary
X-Cellent
Because of the time delay, this is going to be the best match of the half year instead of the quarter, and I bet that means that all of you are going to take this for granted and assume you already know what it is, but you're wrong. The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels put on a hell of a show at Wrestlemania and it was possibly the best Wrestlemania match of all time, though there are some strong contenders for that honor, already. No, the match of the half-year happened the first weekend of April, and in Houston, but it wasn't for World Wrestling Entertainment. Davey Richards challenged KENTA for the Global Honor Crown Junior Heavyweight Championship at Ring of Honor's Supercard of Honor IV in a brilliant match with all of the rest spots Taker and HBK utilized, and despite a botched finish that has been edited on the DVD, it's clearly the better choice.
X-Celsior
Sorry, folks, but a WWE guy doesn't win this award, either, though with the year Chris Jericho has had, he came very, very close in my eyes. He's the one guy besides Kane that has gotten me to care about Rey Mysterio since Eddie Guerrero, and he's doing a bang-up job of following last year's run, despite not having HBK to work with anymore, but Austin Aries completely reinvented himself. Aries transformation from one of the top babyfaces in the company to his new A Double, The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived persona has made him more entertaining than ever, the top heel in the company, and the first ever two-time ROH World Champion. He hasn't just had the best year in professional wrestling; he's currently the best wrestler in the world.
X-Crement
Hey, whaddaya know? The WWE finally "wins" one! The only question is to which Wrestlemania match gets it: The Divas battle royal or the Intercontinental Title match, and actually this one is pretty easy. One had a bunch of hot girls walking out to the ring to the sounds of Kid Rock, and some actually funny comedic antics by Santino. Not something I really love seeing at Wrestlemania, but all in all it was harmless fun. The other match destroyed the credibility of the guy that saved Smackdown when Lesnar and Benoit left it at the hands of the worst champion in the history of the WWE in a match that lasted something like 30 seconds. Fuck Rey Mysterio and fuck this worthlessness.
X-Patriate
I've never been a fan of Dusty Rhodes; which probably stems from my WWE bias. The first time I ever saw "The American Dream" was in a WWE ring wrestling in black with yellow polkadots. He looked ridiculous, and he wrestled the same way, and it was iritating and insulting. When I later found out that he had been a multi-time NWA Champion, I was astonished. I always liked his kid, though--whether he was playing the role of "The Natural" or Golddust, or even that weird black thing in TNA--but he's out of place in the WWE now, as his little bastard sidekick almost always has been. The two serve no good purpose and need to go; it's that simple.
X-Position
Reading this column, you're going to find an overwhelming theme that the WWE needs to create new stars; it's not a secret, or if it is it's one of the most well-known in history. Injuries to such stars as Batista, Edge, and Matt Hardy; along with the firing of Ken Kennedy and the vacations of The Undertaker and Shawn Michaels means that the WWE is rife with such opportunity. As 'Plan will tell you, every crisis also contains within it an opportunity, but perhaps that's incorrect and too limiting. Maybe there's more than one opportunity available for each crisis; regardless (irregardless is a meaningless word that just adds two letters to an otherwise superb word) there's definitely multiple ones involved here.
I'm looking specifically at two of the three injured guys. So which one am I not looking at? How about the king of uselessness, Dave Batista. Don't get me wrong; there was a time that I liked big Dave, but that was before his first major injury, when he was still capable of being a dominant babyface champion and his initial momentum hadn't worn down. He had one of the great Wrestlemania main events in history when he dethroned Triple H for the World Title, and he used to be fun as hell to watch, but times change and so do people. Ever since that big injury that shortened his first reign, he hasn't been the same. He's been slower and sloppier, and he's been unable to generate anything more than a "meh." out of me.
That's not something that I want to see happen to Edge and Matt Hardy. Granted, I'm not the biggest fan of either guy right now, but I used to be hugely into both of them. Unlike what seems to be the majority of the Internet Wrestling Community, I've always preferred Edge as a face. He's gotten a lot better as a heel over the last couple of years--since his pairing with Randy Orton, actually--but I still prefer him as a face; probably because I loathe the cowardly heel. The Ultimate Opportunist gimmick is a good one, but it certainly seems to have been overdone to the point that he looks weak unless he's got someone in power standing by his side; that's never good. Matt, to me, has always been better on the bad side.
You may recall that I wrote a column about the very thing they should have done with him, and then another one on the very thing they should not have. Like I said, I'm no longer a big fan of the guy, but I'd like to be; I really would, because there's no doubt in my mind that the guy can go in the ring, but when he doesn't have his Mattitude and he isn't proclaiming that he won't die because he has too much passion to allow himself to be defeated, he's very, very bland, and turning him into a cowardly heel--with Cowboy Bob Orton's gimmick, no less, doesn't make him any less bland; it just makes him look like a weak idiot. As I said before, if Matt Hardy doesn't care about anything but Matt Hardy, let him show that brutally.
Matt's back on Smackdown where his brother may or may not be waiting when he returns, but I think that's irrelevant. Edge and Matt Hardy have always been flip sides of the same coin, in my opinion. As one rises, the other falls. As one is good, one is evil. There was a time that I hoped that one of their TLC matches would end with Edge and Matt each grabbing a tag title and Jeff and Christian left to fend for themselves; that never happened, but maybe it should have. When they return, they need to have switched positions--no, they need to go further than that--Edge should be a main event level babyface, and Matt should have the kind of character that will allow him to get over as a main event heel.
That doesn't mean running away from competition or crying because he's getting the short straw, or using his damned cast to attack people, and it certainly doesn't mean holding his brother in contempt, but being complacent about everything else. What they need to do is bring Edge back before he's ready and make it look like he's going to make his return; and then have Matt Hardy come out of nowhere to physically destroy him; and then keep destroying people. The Sensei of Mattitude is no more; it's been proven that Matt Hardy may indeed die, and Edge has no more pawns left with which to play. At this point, what these wounded soldiers have is each other; and this time they should use that to best advantage.
Boy, it's been a long time since we've done this, hasn't it? Nearly half a year, which is annoying and unexpected, because I expected this column to be a quarterly event. Unfortunately, life and laziness got in the way. Oh well, hopefully it'll be quicker for the Fall one. I certainly plan it to be. You may remember that I'm holding a contest now to see who my future debate partners are. Søren was the winner of the initial one, and today we're going to discuss heroes and villains in the organization that would like to style itself Sports Entertainment, even though the latter has been greatly lacking lately. Alliteration, FTW!
Xan: Hello, Søren, how are you, my man?
Søren: Xan, long time no see. I'm doing well. What do you think are the odds of anyone reading this knowing (or remembering) who I am? It's been quite a while. Has the columns forum been alive and well in my absence? Every time I look in there it feels more than a little like stepping foot into a New York alleyway after dark.
Xan: Alive and kicking, my friend. In fact, we just got finished with the U.S. vs. U.K. tourney, which was dominated from start to finish by the U.S., naturally. Not that we don't miss you, though. We could've been even better; perhaps even undefeated if you'd been writing for us. Where the hell have you been, anyway? It's been far too long since I've noticed Some Strangeness in the Proportion.
Søren:It has been a long time, hasn't it? I posted my last column in...January, I believe? And wasn't one of my later installations all about how a debuting upstart named Dolph Ziggler had much potential? Hmm, I can't really be sure, though. Allow me to pause from typing for a moment to stroke my chin pensively (and gloatingly). Yes, come to think of it, I believe it was. And look where we are now. But [on a completely unrelated note], I was glad to see fellow H.O.C. members Maz[za] and [ManWithThe]Plan finally promoted to the main page.
Xan: Ah yes, new blood is always a good thing, and Mazza has filled a needed role, since he's started reviewing the current (WWE) PPV's after Davey Boy's retirement. And, of course, 'Plan has...um...you know, you're right! Dolph Ziggler has shown some potential, though I have to say that I'm kind of hearing that second-hand, as I really haven't watched any of his matches against Khali, because Khali is Khali. And, I guess that's as good a place to jump on topic, as any. What kind of wrestling world do we live in when a 7+ foot guy is a monster face?
Søren:Xan, you say that as though it's a bad thing, when the truth is that Khali being a face is the only thing. In fact, if I had my way, Big Show would be a face too, and neither would ever again turn heel. Because, let's face it, both of these men are wasted as heels. Big Show, as we know, has terrific comedic timing and a natural likability about him (which is why he still gets pops as a heel). Khali has a similar presence and charisma which has made him a success as a face without him even having to open his mouth (except to swallow poor fat ladies whole for the Khali Kiss Cam). As babyfaces, these men can entertain the crowd rather than boring them -- which is not so much a slight against Khali and Big Show as it is against the booking committee; and even then its not really their fault. Rey Mysterio encounters the same problem, although to the opposite degree. The story of David & Goliath is very powerful, very moving, very whatever you want it to be, but, as we all know, it always turns out same way.
Xan: Sure it does, which is why--generally speaking--the biggest professional wrestlers should be heels. An underdog overcoming the odds is much more compelling when it's someone who you want to root on, rather than a bad guy. Did Edge defeating the Undertaker and Batista so many times make us respect him more? No, because he always took shortcuts. He never beat either of them cleanly. Do you think Hulk Hogan bodyslamming Andre The Giant at Wrestlemania III would have been as big a deal if he bashed him with a chair first? No, because it wouldn't have been done on a level playing field. The most recent examp I can think of, the Kane/Rey Mysterio feud was booked horribly last year, because, for one thing the antagonist was a jobber to the stars, and for another the big man didn't get a single victory over the jumping bean. However, if it had been booked competently, it would have riased Rey's profile. As it was, it just made for a filler feud that was just something for Rey to do while they figured out the next thing for him to do...and that's exactly what it felt like.
Søren:Disagree, disagree, disagree. The biggest wrestlers should be heels? Xan, where do you get this stuff? Your heels should be massive characters, but that's not to say they should be massive people. What is accomplished by having Babyface A fight Giant B could just as easily be accomplished by having Babyface A fight Heel B, as long as Heel B is built up enough in the suspended reality in which pro wrestling takes place. And that, my friend, is what I believe to be the greatest problem in sports entertainment today: the heels just aren't good enough. They're not big enough (storyline-wise), they're not bad enough, and, at the end of the night, be in on the air or in a dark match, they all end up on their backs. Modern day heels have no credibility. Edge, Jericho, even Orton; they're all treated as second-rate wrestlers who can't get the job done on their own. Negro Casas believed that all heels were cowards at heart, but I disagree. If anything, a good villain should be smarter, faster, and stronger than your hero -- because then he truly has an obstacle to overcome. Dr. Doom, The Joker, Ra's Al Ghul: these are villains that have endured throughout the years. Not because they're cowards; because they have dangerous plans, the intelligence to put such plans into action, and (most of all) they truly believe what they are doing is the right thing to do. Or to quote Mr. Wednesday from American Gods: "There's never been a true war that wasn't fought between two sets of people who were certain they were in the right. The really dangerous people believe they are doing whatever they are doing solely and only because it is without question the right thing to do. And that is what makes them dangerous."
Xan: Maybe, though, the heels aren't dangerous enough because there's so little difference between the two sides. Edge is considered the ultimate opportunist because he constantly manipulates people and circumstances in order to get himself title shots and--eventually--titles. However, what about John Cena's actions to get into the main event of Wrestlemania? He had his rematch for the World Heavyweight Title and didn't get the job done. When the match between Edge and The Big Nasty was announced, what did he do? Blackmailed his way into a shot at the title and then revealed the secret his extortion was based on after getting what he wanted. What about Batista using a chair and refusing to break the referees 5-count in separate matches? Triple H breaking, entering, and assaulting and Randy Orton's abode? Jeff Hardy mocking CM Punk's eye injury and months before that tying his brother to a table and then still attacking him after he quit? None of these are actions of a babyface, and yet we're expected to cheer them as such. There was a time that I praised the shades of gray that the WWE instituted in the late '90s, but it's gone too far. The announcers can lead us in a direction all they want to, but plain and simple: the biggest(in terms of position) heroes in the WWE aren't noble and aren't worth being supported; much less cheered for.
Søren:On this I couldn't agree with you more. Lately it seems the only way to differentiate the heels from the babyfaces is to see who uses the ropes for leverage and who slaps the fans' hands on the way down the ramp, and it's sad. It isn't the late nineties anymore, and the age of the antihero is, at least for now, over. Which is not to say that the archetype should be extinguished from wrestling completely, but, for a little while at least, it should be toned down. History has shown us that in periods of affulence (i.e., when people feel safe), they are also at their most rebellious. In the late nineties everything was grand, or at least felt it, and so people wanted to rebel against "the system." People wanted to mouth off to their boss -- and, hell, sometimes they did, because there was always another job available down the street. People felt like shaking free from their jobs, from the government, even (ironically enough) from conformity, and they needed "heroes" in the wrestling world that reflected these feelings. Thus Stone Cold, The Rock, Triple H. But now things don't seem so rosy.
The world economy (so we are told every day by every news station on every channel) is in the toilet. The unemployment rate is nearing 10%. Foreclosures, bailouts, store closings: it's hard not to feel pessimistic about things sometimes. Despite the fact that those who are still working are making more money [on average] than they were in the year 2000, life looks bleak and fragile. It's during times like these when the world needs a Hogan, or a Bret Hart (or an Obama), to look up to. And in having their babyfaces resort so often to heel tactics -- Cena destroying Jericho for no real reason last December; Triple H bashing a downed Umaga in the back of the head with a sledgehammer; etc. -- I think the WWE is missing out on a real moneymaking opportunity. Until recently, CM Punk was probably the closest thing to the kind of babyface that they need, and I'd be willing to argue that the reason why Punk got as popular as he did, with the kind of push that he did, was because so many kids in the audience saw the no drugs/no alcohol thing as something to look up to. But now that the one man in WWE left with any integrity is a heel, where does that leave us?
Xan: It leaves us in a gray world with bland features, which is why most of the WWE is so damn boring at the moment. No matter how many gimmick matches they give to us, it all still feels the same. They mistake action for excitement; they aren't the same thing at all. While still possible to enjoy the action, it lacks any personal connection, so it isn't exciting because by and large we don't care who wins or what happens to them. We are disconnected, because we have no way of identifying with these people. You mentioned that CM Punk is a heel. How? What has he done that's heelish? He had an opportunity to win the World Heavyweight Title at any time he wanted; he took it. He had a chance to pin Edge to retain in a Triple Threat; he took it. Then he lost three matches due to injury(and cruel intentions on the part of his "babyface" partner.") As far as I can tell, the only heelish thing that Punk has done is attacking Morrison after their match a couple of weeks ago.
Meanwhile, Jeff Hardy attacked Punk after the match, threatened to attack him during the opening promo(which was great, btw) of Smackdown, and then made fun of Punk's injury by faking his own, costing his team the match and punk to be nailed by Edge's spear. Losing a match intentionally shouldn't be the action of any competitor, be it hero, face, or even the antihero that you mentioned. John Cena should be the Hulk Hogan of today, and Jeff Hardy possibly some kind of crossbreed between Michaels and Macho, but those aren't the roads the WWE is having these guys walk, which--along with the incredible proliferation of huge matches and PPVs--means it's getting harder and harder to care.
Søren:It does seem that we've had an abundance of gimmick matches recently, doesn't it? Adding a Three Stages of Hell match on top of a Last Man Standing match on top of a Cage match on top of a regular match is supposed to make us care, but it doesn't, and it just goes to show how far off the mark WWE creative is. Last year Jericho and Michaels stole every show they appeared on, and with a minimum of gimmicks. And how? With a solid, well-performed story that began with jealously and built into a hugely personal feud centered around the World Title.
Perhaps worse than the WWE's poor storytelling at the moment, however, is their poor characterization, and the recent in-ring debuts of (cue the horrible names) Tyler Reks and Rosa Mendes just go to show how little energy creative actually puts into these characters. Tyler Reks, in case you missed this week's Superstars, is a "Californian Surfer Dude," and so obviously his entrance music begins with the cliche, California, surfer-dude beat (if you can imagine that). Rosa Mendes is Spanish, so her music is the ultimate cliche of what Spanish music is. And has anyone been paying attention to Matt Hardy lately? Exactly what is his character now? He's jealous of his brother Jeff. And...? And...he's jealous of his brother Jeff. And...? And...well, nothing. That's it. All of his actions stem back to that one fact. And he's one of the few wrestlers in WWE who actually has a character! Kofi Kingston: what's his character? That he's Jamaican? What about Rey: that he's proud of his Latino heritage? MVP had a character, but now he's just another bland babyface. Randy Orton is "The Viper." Edge is "the Ultimate Opportunist." Why? What has happened in these characters lives that has shaped them into being these people? It seems CM Punk is the only person in all the WWE with real character and real backstory, and even that is probably only because his gimmick is so close to who he is in real life.
I've drawn the comparison between comic books in the 70s to wrestling in the modern day many times, but I think it deserves repeating again here. Thirty years ago, no one thought anything of comic books. At best they were the literary ghetto. No one thought anything of them and no one expected anything from them, not even the legions of people who bought them. The characters were larger than life and one-dimensional and if you told anyone that someday the comic book medium would be accepted and nearly embraced by 2009, they would've laughed at you. But then the 80s came. Alan Moore and Neil Gaiman and Grant Morrison arrived (with some back up), and brought us Sandman, V for Vendetta, Watchmen, etc. They wrote characters who were people and invested energy in backstory; and instead of trying to write something so tame and bland that it would offend no one (and thus, by the popular thought back then, cater to the largest consumer base) they provided the reader with something that would both entertain him and make him think. Rather than continuing to tread the same, boring water, they dared to think outside the box. And so began the long trek to acceptance.
What the wrestling business needs right now is a Neil Gaiman, or an Alan Moore, or a Grant Morrison. Because otherwise wrestling will continue to be boring and will continue to lurk in the television ghetto -- where, right now, it sort of belongs.
Xan: The thing is, man, how the hell do we know that there isn't one of those guys out there, even now? I'd venture to say that there are at least four men out there that fit this description, and three of them are employed by major wrestling companies but will never get a chance in the WWE...not that there's anything wrong with that. If the giant gets knocked down a peg, so much the better for all of us, I think. Here's the four guys that I know know how to book and could make wrestling great again:
1. Adam Pearce--I know there was a tremendous backlash once he replaced the former head booker for ROH, but the guys has done a great job of turning it around and the organization is in great hands now. The stories he's brung to fruition have been classic examples of old school booking, and I'm looking forward to see how he keeps growing.
2. Gabe Sopolski--The man Pearce replaced showed over the course of his five years his brilliance at writing and telling stories; the guy is unparallelled as far as I can tell when it comes to booking professional wrestling and he certainly knows how to paint heels and faces; again, just look at his track record. He also knows how to promote competition over all else, which is something sorely lacking from big time wrestling. He's now with Dragongate USA.
3. Paul Heyman--Gabe's mentor, and other than that, I don't think there's much more to say that hasn't been said. The WWE should've made a lot better use out of his mind.
4. Jim Cornette--Like Heyman, has pretty much burnt his bridge with the WWE and doesn't seem to give a shit. This guy has one of the most creative minds in the business and why TNA doesn't take advantage of his backstage abilities in place of his on-air ones is beyond me.
Inside the WWE, we've got road agents Fit Finlay, Ricky Steamboat, Ted Dibiase, James Gibson, and Tommy Dreamer who can all tell stories in the ring and I believe could do a good job writing and planning them, as well. Of course, the WWE would have to get over themselves and fire their television writers first. Care to lay odds on that--or the McMahons giving up the final word--ever happening?
Søren:Thanks, but just the same, Xan, no thanks; I will not be taking you up on that bet. You're right that there are probably men in the industry already who would be up to the task of bringing respect to wrestling (or at least not, at best, rehashing ten-year-old storylines and, at worst, rehashing ones that are two months old), but it just won't happen as long as WWE Creative exists the way it does -- with a bunch of "TV" writers all answering to Vince. I mean, think back to the way that the new ECW was booked in the beginning. You had Paul Heyman (who not only proved himself in the original ECW, but as the lead writer on Smackdown) trying to tell Vince that pushing Test and Lashley over CM Punk and RVD is not a good idea, and Vince was completely unable to grasp the concept. I don't want to jump on the "Vince has gone loony" bandwagon (although skits like the Denver Nuggets debacle make me think there really is no other choice), but, let's face it: at the end of the day, Vince McMahon is not a writer. Which is not to say Vince hasn't had (surprisingly) good ideas in the past, both for characters and storylines, because he has. But do you think Vince spends his spare time flipping through books on writing, or reading Dostoevsky, or even studying movies or other TV shows? No idea is ever going to be truly "new," but, if you're going to lift something, wouldn't it be best to have the largest pool to pilfer from (i.e., not just from wrestling)? Or, to quote a song by Destroyer: "Why can't you see?/ That a life in art/ and a life of mimicry/ it's the same thing."
Xan: The last time we saw any real burst of creativity from Vince was when he was driven almost bankrupt by WCW. Now that Smackdown's network is in trouble and RAW's rating is bottoming out, maybe he'll start getting more creative again. I don't watch RAW anymore, but judging by what I read last week, he was "this close" to doing something exciting. If either Miz or MVP had won their match and it had still gone to a No Contest, then we'd finally have some new blood in the main event and maybe a reason to give a shit. Sadly, more stagnation happened and we'll have to wait at least another month to see if they do anything interesting.
I don't believe that Vince reads or watches television or does anything else except eat, sleep, and breathe the WWE; and that is the largest part of the problem. He's too close to the product, otherwise how could he not know how much it stinks. He needs to back off; take a vacation...since we're agreed he's never going to let someone that's proven to be awesome at booking take over, he should give Shane and Stephanie a shot to run things for 6 months, a year, and see how everything looks after the smoke has cleared. Honestly, at this point he's got nothing to lose.
Søren:Well, to be fair, Raw has been doing some pretty great ratings lately, but otherwise you're on point. The Raw ME is stale and the storylines are too...safe. Not as in lacking controversial material (i.e., blood and/or boobies), but in the fact that, with the exception of the Jericho/Rey Mysterio feud, it's all been done before -- and so many times before, at that. Vince needs to put a crew of talented people together on the creative side and then step back entirely, the way he (no doubt) does with the production crew. If he sees something happening on the show that truly appalls him, then take it up with the crew afterward.
Still, I have to wonder if you're suggestion of putting Shane/Stephanie in charge would be wisest. I mean, yes, they are both Executive Vice Presidents, but what would they really contribute to the booking committee? I doubt either one is anymore well-read than Vince, and on top of that they probably have fewer wrestling angles kicking around in their memory. And, on top of that, isn't Stephanie already the lead writer on Raw?
Xan: Raw's been doing great ratings lately because of stunt booking; it isn't going to continue unless they put something of real substance there for people to want to watch. Triple H vs. Randy Orton is not something people are going to keep watching for; which is why they need to generate new stars and preferably find a unique way of doing so. We've mentioned Ziggler and Punk, who they are doing interesting things with on the blue brand, and they were doing a great job with Mizanin before having Cena slap him down.
I really don't know what Stephanie's position is, but I've always heard that nothing goes on air without going through Vince first. I think a lot of what might be going wrong with the WWE could best be summed up as GIGO, so if they get rid of the television writers and Kevin Dunn that are coming up with all these lame ideas and insist that they are in television, not wrestling, maybe the creative abilities that Shane and Stephanie must have from growing up in the business will come to the fore and they can get rid of the stupid comedy acts and work on bringing the wrestling aspect of World Wrestling Entertainment back.
If they were more focused on professional wrestling and telling a good story through it, they'd be able to focus more on the character that they are putting in the ring, and maybe this whole hero/villain thing would take care of itself. As it stands, though, all they're concerned with is scripting a television show that entertains the boss, and not necessarily the customer they are trying to get to tune into their product. Did people tune into a 3-hour RAW broadcast where every world title was going to be defended and they were guaranteed to see a new champion? Sure. How about to see what Trump would do? Yeah. Or the night after a PPV to see who the new top contender would be and the finals of a 4-man tournament a week later? Of course. But what now? What do they do to keep people watching when either: a) They're all out of stunts or b) The stunts get stale, too?
Søren:I have a feeling we're going to find out very soon.
If you look to the right side of your screen, you'll see some previous columns posted. It'll take me a while to get all of my old stuff transferred over, but until I do, you can just click this link in order to read past Northern Stars. And, as always, you can send any comments by email to me at XanManX@hotmail.com with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line or you can click here to leave feedback if you're a member of The Lop Forums. If you want to drop Søren a line about his performance today, or to arrange to publish one of his novels, just click here.
