Posted in: The Northern Star Excuse The Aggravation: Episode 92
By XanMan
Jul 11, 2009 - 5:06:01 PM
Excuse The Aggravation, but I'm XanMan. What the hell is with all this black and gold in my studio? Are the Killer Bees taking over or some shit?
Killer Penguins Xanny my boy! Champion Penguins in fact. And you can relive the Pittsburgh Penguins magnificent triumph with the NHL: Stanley Cup 2008-2009 Champions: Pittsburgh Penguins DVD , available at fine retailers everywhere. And while you are out don't forget to pick up the NFL Super Bowl XLIII Champions: Pittsburgh Steelers DVD. It's not too late to get in on the glory of the record setting 6th Superbowl win, especially while we prepare for lucky number 7! Just tell them your friendly neighborhood BeyondKnight sent you!
What the puck are you doing here?
Bringing sexy back. Sorry, I know that was a little dated but I couldn't resist. I heard the word was that you needed a new co-host for this shindig. And I have answered the call! It's time to bring the Beacon of Wisdom and Knowledge to the masses. Don't worry Xandy, I'll be on my best behavior. This will be the stuff of legends!
Naturally.
With
XanMan and BeyondKnight
Hello boys and girl, and welcome to ETA -
Oh, about that. I was hoping we could change the title to "The BK/Xanny Pour Hour!"
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What about "The Star Report!"
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Fine, keep your silly acronym. Let's just get on with this before you change your mind and I get thrown off another show.
You really have a poor grasp on my level of patience. Anyway...we start with the devastating injury suffered by Edge. This can't be good, right, BK?
Well, not for Edge and his most obsessive fans, but for the rest of us it isn't anything world shattering. Edge is definitely one of the top 5 main event players on the roster today, but Vince has always been able to ensure the success of his product doesn't ride square on the shoulders of one man. I don't see the Smackdown main event crumbling due to losing Edge for a while. In fact, the months without Edge may help to restore some of the intrigue that the character has lost over the past few months.
That's an interesting point, one could even draw a comparison to Triple H's quad injury in 2001 and hwo he came back fresher--too soon--but fresher, and as a face. I'm one of the minority who believes Edge is better as a face than as a heel, so that could be something enjoyable for me, but I don't think there's any way that you can't say his loss is a big blow to the WWE. Smackdown is already on a struggling network, and now they're losing the top heel on the show. The only person that it could possibly be good for is CM Punk, because it'll give him a chance to grow as a heel(assuming they continue his turn) outside the shadow of Edge.
It's funny you mention Edge being a face. We've never actually seen this Edge character as a face. When everything went down with Lita and Matt Hardy, Edge went through what was more of a character transformation than just a standard heel turn. He abandoned the goofy kazoo playing persona and became a borderline sociopath that would literally do anything it takes to win. Right now, we do have CM Punk starting to head down that path, with a slight infusion of the "Jericho Righteousness". I would love to see Punk fully embrace being a heel champion, especially since the audience rejected him as a face champion last summer. Actually bringing that fact up could only help Punk get over as a heel.
So yes, of course Edge being gone is a setback, but I don't think it's any more of a setback than when Cena, Orton, or Batista were placed on the IR. Jericho or CM Punk could easily step into the top heel role immediately. What has me worried more for the future of Smackdown than Edge's absence are the rumors that Jeff Hardy may soon be calling it quits. Jeff is without a doubt the most over face in the company, and if he leaves is there anyone left to pick up that momentum?
I honestly don't know. I guess it depends on how intent they are on turning Punk heel. I think they may keep Punk's heel turn going and try pushing Mysterio as the top face after getting the I-C strap off of him somehow, but who does that go to, and how quickly? They'd almost have to hotshot it at this point. John Morrison holds a victory over CM Punk followed by a post-match GTS that I guess could develop into a mini-feud, but I don't think Morrison's ready for anything longer than that or to be the top face on Smackdown. The best bet for the moment might be to keep CM Punk's heel turn on a slow burn and have him feud with Jericho unless, of course, Taker's ready.
Taker vs an uber-heel CM Punk would be an amazing SummerSlam main event for the blue brand. I think that as far as the Undertaker is concerned, creative needs to be looking at him with a "there is no tomorrow" mentality. He's is literally on his last legs. I would love to see Taker engage in a battle with CM Punk at SummerSlam, move into a program with Jericho and Kane throughout fall. Right around Survivor Series he jumps to Raw to have a series of battles with Triple H during the winter months. Then we revisit the magic of HBK/Taker one more time at No Way Out. Finally after a year of phenomenal matches the Deadman heads into retirement but not before his streak is broken and the title is lost to John Cena at Wrestlemania 26.
I, too, would love to see a feud between Punk and 'Taker, but I don't think SummerSlam is going to be in time. There are exactly four weeks between Night of Champions and the biggest party of the summer; which doesn't exactly provide a boatload of opportunity for Punk to become an uberheel. You seem to have the Undertaker's schedule over the next 9 months all planned out, but I really think Punk/Taker would be better served to start sometime between SummerSlam and Unforgiven verbally and have their first altercation at No Mercy, probably transitioning with a Triple Threat match involving Jericho under my earlier scenario. This way, Punk can be a much bigger heel by the time he has his finale against the Undertaker at Survivor Series.
All Punk would have to do to be a mega-heel would be to make himself the guy that gets Jeff Hardy fired. Whoever is responsible for Jeff's downfall instantly inherits super-heeldom with a vast majority of the audience. Especially if Mr. Straight Edge fixes a Wellness test to hand Hardy his 3rd strike. You can do that in one night, and boom, Punk is the biggest heel in the company since Triple H's days in Evolution.
But let's shift gears a little bit. The Raw ratings have been slipping much more as of late and the publicity stunts don't seem to be having a lasting impression. Do you think that simply heading back to basics might be the way to liven up the show? Maybe put DX back together for a couple months or have John Cena return to the Doctor of Thuganomics personna?
In no way, shape, or form do I want to see DX return. RAW needs less comedy skits, not more. John Cena returning to be the Doctah, though? Hells yes, I want to see that, but more than anything, I want to see them give new guys a chance to be stars. The Miz should have beaten John Cena at The Bash. If he was going to be jobbed out again the next night on RAW, anyway, what's the point of him losing in a much quicker match the previous night? A cheap win gives him a tiny amount of credibility and something better for the company to build on than "he held his own." At least they're having MVP and Jack Swagger start some kind of feud; that has me interested to tune in on Monday night.
First off, don't lump promos and segments by 2 of the most charismatic individuals ever in with craptacular comedy skits. While the last DX vs McMahon's feud did run a month or so too long and ended up going too far over the top, they definitely caught lightning in a bottle. However, I was thinking more along the lines of a stable war between Legacy and DX, especially if they would induct Ted Dibiase into the mix and really give him some room to come into his own. Being an Orton clone just isn't working for the kid. Throw in Swagger on the Legacy side, you've got yourself a winning combination and a very interesting scene to play us through the summer.
You also mentioned the Miz feud with Cena. I can't believe you are surprised that it played out the way it did. The writing is totally on the wall, and I think that the entire feud completely encapsulated WWE's current mentality of exactly how they view their product and who they are catering to. How many people in the IWC immediately latched onto Miz over the last month? His promos have been almost verbatim the same comments that you hear from disenfranchised fans and Cena haters. I believe that the WWE was using Miz as their representation of all the worst traits of the IWC. And even though he managed to hold his own for a bit both at the PPV and the subsequent Raw, he fell before "The 5 Moves of Doom ". That whole feud was a symbolic squash of the IWC. Personally, I thought it was great. I think the WWE has come to terms with the fact that their audience has become polarized and instead of trying to appease the vocal minority of haters, they are just looking for new and fun ways to piss them off more.
Why in the world would they want to do that? Generally speaking, the IWC are the die-hard wrestling fans--the ones that follow the product through thick and thin, buy merchandise and tickets, and basically keep the company afloat, and you think they want to find new and different ways to piss us off? Besides, what the hell does that have to do with your topic? Do you want to see the Doctah return? Do you not want to see them make new stars? And how the hell could Legacy--a team that consists of the worst treated WWE Champion since Rey Mysterio and his two lackeys possibly contend against DX? And why the fuck would anyone want to see it, when it only means more terrible matches between Orton and Trips? I can't believe you're really behind this idea.
Is that really what we are Xanny, or have we just romanticized ourselves that way? How many of us actually order PPV's or DVD instead of "acquiring" them over the interweb? How much of the WWE audience (or more importantly the profit margins) does the IWC really account for nowadays? Maybe it's just that McMahon is looking for the long term and focused on pleasing and build a new audience instead of trying to constantly placate his disenfranchised and often ungrateful current one. Regardless though, you are right, it's off topic and can be a debate for another time.
As far as the continuation of terrible matches are concerned, Fred has been having terrible matches with everybody since his return from his shoulder injury. I know I have made a column career out of making fun of the guy and that's primarily just to irritate his often deluded fan base, but Orton hasn't been intriguing as a character or a champion and at least some of that blame has to be placed on his shoulders. At least in my scenario you have Michaels working with the younger members of Legacy to help elevate them. HBK can make someone look good even as he squashes them. Sometimes you just have to dance with who brought you. Degeneration X is proven effective at generating excitement, and John Cena battle rapping occasionally would definitely be a treat. All I am saying that that little adjustments like that may work better to secure the audience.
To secure the audience shouldn't they use seatbelts or something? Actually given the WWE's obvious belief in torturing them/us, they may want to use handcuffs and chains.
Some people are into that kind of thing Xanny. Don't knock it till you try it! As far as making new stars, I am all for it, but it has to be done properly, and it takes time. Miz got to headline a PPV in a single match against John Cena. MVP wrestled Triple H in a Number One Contender tournament and came out still looking strong. Mark Henry got the loudest pop of his LIFE when he power slammed the WWE champion. And like you said, MVP and Swagger has the potential to be one of the more intriguing new feuds of the summer. When you try and make main event stars overnight you end up with last summer's CM Punk debacle.
Which only means they should've started building young stars a lot sooner. I'm not saying you couldn't tide things over by programming DX against Legacy, merely that it's not a lasting solution and unless Rhodes and Dibiase are booked as more than Orton's lackeys it's going to get real boring real fast.
The problem is that it's already boring. And it seems we agree on the situation of the Jr. members of Legacy. Rhodes and Dibiase were making better progress by themselves than they are being part of Fred's entourage and that just seems counter-productive.
At the time I'm typing this, we're about 8 hours away from Impact! and a four-way match for the World Title. How long do you think it will be before Jarrett's got that strap back around his waste?
Aw man, I have to care about TNA for this deal? There is always a damn catch... Last I heard the title just changed hands in TNA, to my hometown boy Kurt Angle. I suppose the former lip syncing country crooner might book himself as the champion, again, but I don't think it'll be for a while. If the rumors are true and our favorite Olympian is thinking about returning to McMahonland, I envision Kurt getting a long title reign as incentive finish out his days in the minors.
ETA is about professional wrestling and sports entertainment. So, yeah, you are going to have to be willing to discuss both TNA and ROH; maybe even Pro Wrestling Noah, Pro Wrestling Guerrilla, and Dragongate--though I doubt it very much. As for assuming Jeff Jarrett isn't getting the strap back, let me remind you that we're talking about the guy that almost singlehandedly dragged the company to the point it's at now by having multiple terrible reigns as champion; and he's been back for over a year now without so much as sniffing at the strap; I don't think there's any question that we're in for a reign of terror sometime soon.
Yeah and you didn't think there was any question of the Penguins being able to climb out of a 0-2 deficit and win the Cup either and look around your studio... Despite that fact, I must concede that you are probably right one this one. TNA hasn't been able to learn from ECW's or WCW's mistakes, why should they learn from their own?
5 Good...
Reasons Showtime is the new HBO
1. Dexter--Have you ever loved a serial killer? Well, this series won't make you love one, either, but it will at least have you rooting one on.
2. Weeds--Humor abounds when a white widow from the suburbs with two teenagers decides to start selling weed to get by.
3. Brotherhood--Sort of like an Irish version of the Sopranos, but with more politics, more heart, and a bit of a Cain vs. Abel vibe.
4. Californication--If you were a fan of the X-Files, see David Duchovny in an entirely different light as a vulgar down-on-his-luck writer.
5. Nurse Jackie--I bet you thought I was going to say "The L Word," didn't you? This is the freshman of the group, but is already compelling with Sopranos veteran Edie Falco as a nurse trying to hold everything together with just a little vicodin.
Wife of BK won't let us get either HBO or Showtime. Maybe it's time to renew Netflix and give some of these a spin though.
Might also be time to wear some pants for a change.
Role Play
You're Mark Henry. Mark, what made you ditch Atlas and turn away from the dark side? And no, that's not a racist joke.
Listen crackah, I am sick and tired of being just another "big guy" around here . And I am damn sure done being Vince's minstrel act. He's got Ron for that shit now. The crowds have been begging for someone to take out Orton. Trump got me onto the main show and Big Dave gave me the chance to be in the main event . So I ran with it, chump. And it felt good. Better than ol Mae did. When was the last time you remember a monster face being allowed to run wild on Raw?
Your turn my esteemed friend. You are Teddy Long. With it becoming ever certain Vince is about embark on another of his trademark vendettas, what do you do to try and protect yourself from the bosses wraith?
What are you talking about playa? The boss has a wraith? How much thuggin' and buggin' he been doin' to be able to get such a thing? I know he was once the higher power, but I didn't realize he was still messing with those dark arts. Guess I'll have to have the good ol' Dead Man protect me with his own dark magic.
Time to stretch your chops, BK. You're Austin Aries. The first time you won the ROH World Heavyweight Title, you had the unenviable task of following Samoa Joe's legendary reign and did so admirably with a different take on a champion's task. What can we expect this time around?
Hmm, Austin Aries Austin sounds like he should be Southern. I am going to make him Southern. Some people say that bein the first evuh two time ROH World Heavyweight Champion is not a honor and I shoulda left ta go up north ba now. We'll I ta beg to differ, ya'll. So listen up cuz I ain't gonna repeat mahself. Austin Aries is on his way to becoming a house-hold name, jus like John Deere and Skynyrd. Ya'll.
You're Christian. It's obvious that with Edge out for at least a year the option of getting over by putting the band back together has gone by by. What's your plan to get off the C-show and back into the limelight where your peeps think you belong?
Actually, I'm more of an agnostic. Oh...wait, you mean the dude. BK, you're thinking of the wrong band, my friend. Edge and I haven't been together since 2001; meanwhile, his partner used to be my partner and he's got a warm belt waiting there that needs to be defended...who better than me to help Chris out? Sure, it would mean I turn my back on the peeps, but really, what have they ever done for me?
Big Finish!
Steve McNair is now being somewhat villified due to his affair; how will you remember him?
Enough time has passed that I can forgive him and the Titans for the bullshit of the 02 Playoff game against the Steelers. It's very tragic that me made the decision that he did, though I don't think marital infidelity warrants him being vilified and "getting what he had coming". He was an amazing athlete and most certainly one of the best quarterbacks that never won a championship ring. If nothing else, perhaps he can serve as a cautionary tale to other promising young athletes.
The Star Trek reboot was the surprise hit of the summer. What other properties could/should be reinvented to reach a new audience?
Certainly not Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, even though that is getting remade by the same guy that ruined the first movie. Fucking nincompoops!
You and I were both very disappointed in the new Transformers flick. Are you still anticipating G.I. Joe?
That would imply that I was ever anticipating G.I. Joe. Seriously, any movie released in August is generally terrible. It's the dumping grounds of the summer movie season. I suppose that it has the potential to be somewhat entertaining, but I do not have high hopes. Also, what is a G.I. Joe movie without Sgt. Slaughter? That omission alone make it fail miserably. I did however highly enjoy the animated G.I Joe: Resolute movie that aired on Adult Swim earlier this spring.
Michael Jackson's death has rocked the world, but left behind a tremendous legacy in his music. Will we see another artist reach the same levels of success in our lifetime?
I really doubt it. Marshall Mathers is the only one I can think of with that level of talent, but there are those that don't care at all for rap and will never embrace him; with the way the music scene is now, there's really not much chance for a superstar to rise above everyone else--at least not for long.
Apparently there's a new cookbook by the Obamas. Does this even get past the "1" on your "That's Interesting!" scale?
Not even if the dial went the whole way up to 11 (which it does!). I'm sure that it will get a lot of media coverage though, and then will spur bar jokes about how the entire thing is just recipes for fried chicken and watermelon. What I am curious about though, is who gets the proceeds for the sale of this book and the ramifications it could lead to. Although it might be interesting to see Bill Clinton hawking crap on QVC.
The FCC is being urged to ban the word "Midget" on broadcast television. What other 5 words or phrases would you like to see banned?
