Posted in: The Northern Star Putting the X in Wrestling(Winter 2009)
By XanMan
Jan 14, 2009 - 8:57:03 AM
I know what you're thinking...
Triple H is clearly going to win the Royal Rumble,
MVP's losing streak has to end some time soon,
The Rock is a legend that must always be respected.
But I, Xan, say...wrong, wrong, wrong. He wants to be a legend of the silver screen friends, and that ain't ever happening.
This isn't the Northern Star, and it certainly isn't Excuse The Aggravation. This is the revamped Putting the X in Wrestling. That was the name of my initial column that I dropped in favor of The Northern Star over 5 years ago. So, why bring it back? Because I wanted to do a kind of review of the previous quarter and review of the coming quarter, along with facilitating the return of The X-Change. While this is still a work in progress, it's only going to be dropped every 3 months, so don't expect a lot of refinement in the categories. This time out, we'll be examining MVP's storyline and where it could be going, why the Rock(who I've been reading a lot of love for lately) is a dickhead, and awarding the best and the worst of the quarter. Oh, and I'll be having a debate with that Degenerate guy. Let's get started, shall we?
X-Amination
The kind of hype with which Montel Vontavius Porter was brought in is almost impossible for a newcomer to live up to, particularly if he is not a multi-generation star. I know MVP has his fans out there, but I'm honestly not sure why. I acknowlege that he isn't worse than any other sports entertainers the WWE employs and that he has proven in matches against Benoit that he actually has some technical wrestling skill, but at least in the last year and a half he hasn't shown himself to be anything special, either in the ring or on the mic. His move set is limited, his chosen finishers are ridiculous, and really the only thing that saves him from being a complete waste in my mind is his incredible acting ability. If nothing else, his current angle in which he's been losing for many weeks in a row has shown that skill to be very strongly developed in him.
But in my mind, that's the only thing it's done for him. Speculation on why this losing streak has happened includes that it's a result of his criticism of the WWE's "Wellness Program" and that it's due to the megapushes received by the likes of Brock Lesnar and Bobby Lashley not working out. While it probably isn't wise to publicly criticize something implemented--whether as a reaction to bad publicity or not--to help keep you and your fellow employees off harmful substances; especially one that has contributed to extending your life, personally; it isn't something I believe merits on screen punishment, especially when said punishment actually results in a sort of backhanded push. As for the other theory, his initials are not B.L. and he has nothing else in common with The Pain and The Black Pain, either, as his push resembled theirs in no way.
I don't have an alternative theory as to why this angle is being run for him, because I honestly don't care enough about him to make one; perhaps it's just because they wanted to push him in a way that was out of the ordinary. If I don't care, though, why bother examining the situation at all? Because while I don't really care about MVP, the fact is that he's one of the few dull points on Smackdown right now and his regression from on-the-cusp superstar(whether I agreed with this assessment or not) to losing every week is growing annoying, because it's so fucking boring. I can't imagine that anyone still holds interest in the streak at this point, which logically suggests that it's time for it to stop; probably was time leading up to Survivor Series and, thus, his team should have won. They didn't, though he did earn a pinfall in the match.
So here we are, two months later, and MVP is still jobbing to everybody in sight, including laying down for that new bozo, Kizarny, who is such an idiot that it was obvious he almost legit hurt Porter twice during their match on Smackdown because he couldn't lift his lazy ass off the ground. Now that they've kept the streak going, though, apparently in an attempt to gain audience sympathy, (again, boredom prevails instead) there's no obvious or beneficial recent time to end it. He's clearly not going to win the Royal Rumble, because there's no way even Vince McMahon's stunt booking is going to have a guy lose 40 matches in a row and then jump right into the main event of Wrestlemania; which means that there's only one logical--that word again--place for MVP's losing streak to end--Wrestlemania. And, here's how they should do it:
MVP should be the 30th entrant into the Royal Rumble and should begin celebrating like he did when he pinned __________ at Survivor Series, and then be thrown out immediately. The following Smackdown, Vicky Guerrero should tell him that she's fed up with it, that his surviving only seconds in the Rumble is an embarassment, and he's going to start being fined every week he loses. He then loses a Money in the Bank qualifying match, which he knows going in will trigger a 30-day suspension without pay and snaps; actually crying in the middle of the ring. He goes to Vicky and begs her for one last chance and she gives him an ultimatum: she'll enter him into Money in the Bank with the stipulation that if he does not win, he's fired from Smackdown. Of course, he does win MITB, and then the following Friday, he announces on Smackdown that he's cashing in his MITB contract on Monday night. He loses a spectacular match to Randy Orton, and thus becomes a member of the RAW roster, with sufficient pitying and success to become a major face player there. Does this idea rock or what?
X-Traordinary
X-Cellent
It's rare, I believe, for the best wrestler of a given quarter to also participate in the best match of the quarter, but that's what's happening here. While Chris Jericho and John Cena had a couple of outstanding matches and Shawn Michaels and Rey Mysterio participated in a couple pretty darned good ones; Edge, Triple H, and Jeff Hardy had what is for my money the second best Triple Threat Match of all time. Why second? Because the main event of Wrestlemania XX really did happen. Seriously, though, this one had it all: a great story, fantastic action, strong booking, and an amazing, spectacular finish. It's one of the best matches of 2008, hands down.
X-Celsior
The great story I spoke of in the match was about Jeff Hardy hitting big move after big move and repeatedly having his pinfalls interrupted by the other competitor in the match, until finally he managed to hit his Swanton on both Triple H and Edge to win his first WWE Title. This was an amazing accomplishment in itself, but when you couple that with the fact that he owned the voting at Cyber Sunday and has developed a brand new character for himself that's over huge, there really is no other choice; though Chris Jericho earns an honorable mention.
X-Crement
If you haven't noticed from my columns, I'm pretty down on Rey Mysterio. Yeah, I know he's latino and he's exciting, but he's also unbelievable; especially when wrestling against guys who dwarf him. However, when I saw that he was going to be wrestling his friend, Evan Bourne, on Monday Night RAW, I got excited, because he was finally wrestling someone of his approximate size, who could do amazing things in his own right. Sure, it would be a spot fest, but it had the potential to be the best one since the WCW Cruiserweight days. Instead, it turned into a mess of botches and broke kayfabe at just about every turn. This is what's referred to by the kids as an EPIC FAIL.
X-Patriot
When TNA first started, Ron Killings was still going by his ring name of K-Krush; once he got more serious and changed his name to The Truth, I started really enjoying his work; even supporting his initial reign as NWA World Champion, but then he became a member of The 3 Live Kru with Konnan and BG James, and it's been downhill ever since for him. Still, he's got talent, and I thought his move to WWE would be good for him; and maybe it was, but it's terrible for me. His entrance is horrible and he spends all match, every match spinning around the ring. If they aren't going to drop his dumb gimmick and teach him how to wrestle, they should just drop him.
X-Position
I've never been to a movie featuring Dwayne Johnson in the theatre, and if I have my druthers, I never will. Why? Because I hold a grudge against the jackass. I know most don't; most wrestling fans have just gone on with their lives as the wrestling world has moved on without him. So have I, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fund his betrayal. The guy owes everything he has to professional wrestling and now he acts like he's ashamed that he's ever been a part of it. He returned to wow the room a few years ago and induct his father into the WWE Hall of Fame, but he can't be bothered to actually show up and wrestle a match or two? Fuck him. He doesn't even bear thinking about.
So the next question would be, "Why are you thinking about him, then, Xan?" Because when my wife and I first decided to go ahead and order the ticket package for Mania Silver, I was thinking about what the WWE could do to make their 25th anniversary really special and there were two matches I thought about at once: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan and The Rock vs. Shawn Michaels. Austin vs. Hogan, of course, would have been a crap match, and I probably would have died a little inside to see The Rattlesnake have to lay down for Hogan, but it's still something of a dream match because of the icon status both hold.
The Rock vs. Shawn Michaels, though? That's a battle of showmen. That's "the most electifying man in the history of sports entertainment" vs. "the showstopper, the headliner, the main event." Both icons, both magnificent in the ring, and they would put on a hell of a show against each other, except for one thing: The Rock's an asshole who won't let bygones be bygones in order to perform for the people that made him one last time. Seems Michaels was kind of a jerk to him when Maiavia was first starting out, so The Rock refuses to step in the same ring as HBK. Hey Rocky, three words: Get the fuck over it!
I'm sure you're content lighting it up on the silver screen pretending you can act, but what about your real fans? What about those people whom without you'd just be another washed up, has been college football player. So why don't you get your head out of your ass, realize why the fuck you are where you are and come back every so often to give us some of your precious time? I think the fans deserve to see the dream match between you and Michaels, but if you're not willing to give that, you could at least come back and put some people over that would benefit from the rub you could give them. The fact that you won't even do that shows that you're a selfish son of a bitch that never deserved our love in the first place.
Wrestling obviously isn't your true love, though you seemed so perfect performing in front of a live audience. Apparently you need to be up on the big screen, whether what you're doing is any good or not. So keep fooling yourself that you're a movie star, Rocky. Meanwhile, I'll be watching Shawn Michaels steal the show against either The Undertaker or JBL at Wrestlemania XXV. While that's a bit of a consolation prize considering what I truly wanted to see, it's pretty fitting since it takes place in Texas. In the end, it's amazing that The Undertaker and JBL have proven that they're better than you ever were, because they weren't pulling the wool over our eyes; they love performing on the stage you never deserved to be on.
Before Armageddon, I thought Jeff Hardy was a pretty safe bet to win the Royal Rumble and go on to Wrestlemania to finally win his first WWE Title, assuming he didn't fuck up in between, but now that's pretty much out the window. I mean I suppose he could still lose the strap between now and the Rumble, but it seems pretty unlikely, so here to help me decide who's going to be the Royal Rumble '09 winner--and actually, in all probability have a knockdown, dragout argument about it--is the former Main Page writer of Struggle For Power. Please welcome everybody's favorite Degenerate!
XanMan: How's it going, Deg?
Degenerate: Going good, Xan. It's obviously your pleasure to have me here. Indeed, a few months ago Jeff Hardy seemed like a strong candidate to pull off the huge upset and go on to the Main Event at Wrestlemania. But there are other stars, both on the cusp of a huge win to get them over, as well as those familiar names who have a stranglehold on the spotlight, who can come out on top. However, can we just agree that Shawn Michaels is going to win the Royal Rumble, the World Heavyweight Championship, the WWE Championship, even the ECW Championship out of pity, and end this argument now?
XanMan: Out of pity? Are you saying your hero is beneath the prominent championship of WWECW currently held by Jeff's brother? For shame. If only HBKing could see you now. As much as I wish Shawn Michaels was going to win the World Heavyweight or WWE Title this year, I hardly think that's likely. He's said on more than one occasion that he's not interested in holding the championship. He's more of a special attraction type wrestler now, the way the WWE should be using The Big Show and his opposite number, Rey Mysterio, and to some extent actually are using The Great Khali. That's not the way I want Michaels to be used, you understand, it's simply the way he is and it appears he's comfortable with that. Besides, if he were to win the Royal Rumble, wouldn't he just have to cede the spot to his boss, JBL? It's not like he'd remember his own ruling from back in 1999; the writers wouldn't allow him to.
Rumors persist that the WWE are intent on having a rematch from SummerSlam between Dave Batista and John Cena at Wrestlemania, this time for the World Heavyweight Title. Never mind that's a match that nobody wants to see, and clearly a match that doesn't need a championship if it were to occur. Enter Randy Orton. The Legend Killer has done a lot in this business, but one thing he has yet to do is win the Royal Rumble, and there really is no better time than the present. He's been outside the title picture, too long. I have nothing against Chris Jericho being the World Champ a couple of times in 2008; he is and always has been my boy, but Orton had a tremendous run from No Mercy '07 to Backlash '08 with the WWE Title, and it's about time he gets a shot at the title he's the youngest to ever hold: The World Heavyweight Championship. Besides, he's got his new stable to help him get the Wrestlemania title shot. Nothing shall stand against Legacy! ...or something.
Degenerate: I think it's a safe bet to say that young Randy will be part of one of the main events at Wrestlemania. But he doesn't need to win the Rumble for that. Going back to 2006, he injected himself into the main event by defeating the winner of that year's Royal Rumble, Rey Mysterio, at No Way Out a month before. Considering how similar situations have happened in recent memory - John Cena using his Wrestlemania title shot at No Way Out against Randy Orton before Wrestlemania 24, for example - I have no doubts it could happen again.
Speaking of main-event caliber wrestlers who have never been victorious in the Royal Rumble, if I had to pick one, I would have to say Edge. Along with Kane, he's always one of the superstars that seems to get a lot of ring time during the Rumble, but never actually winning it. I think he's progressed enough as a character to win these huge events. Plus, it's been quite a while since a full-fledged heel has won this match. It's been ten years, if you count Vince McMahon's victory. But if you want to count official wins without these cheap wins (sorry, '97 winner Stone Cold Steve Austin), the last one was - guess who? - Shawn Michaels way back in 1995. Have I mentioned how awesome he is?
XanMan: You have, I have just about everybody I can think of has. In fact, at this point I would love to have somebody come out and write a column decrying Shawn Michaels' greatness just to shut you up. You do have a point, though. That Royal Rumble was seriously awesome. I was rooting for HBK the whole time, and my buddy was rooting for the Bulldog, so when the Bulldog's music started playing, he started jumping around in celebration, but I knew--knew--that Michaels' feet hadn't hit the ground, and that he was going to win the match. It was so awesome to be right. Almost as awesome as it is for you to have the honor of being in my presence, Deg.
Edge isn't a bad choice to be the winner of the Royal Rumble, except for one fact that's so glaringly obvious that I can't believe even you didn't think of it: Vickie Guerrero--his (storyline)wife is the General Manager of Smackdown and is going to do everything in her considerable(storyline) power to make sure that her honey is in the WWE Title match at the Royal Rumble. I highly doubt Edge is going to wrestle for the WWE Title at the event and then go on to participate in the Rumble. No, if it's somebody from Smackdown it's more likely to be Triple H, in my view, than Edge. In fact, I've called from the time of the draft that Edge vs. Triple H was going to be a WWE Title match at Mania Silver, and I'm not backing down from that, especially since Jeff Hardy now has his long-awaited WWE Title.
I didn't believe the people that were fantasy booking Jeff to win the strap at Mania, and I've been proven right. I really don't think he belongs in the WWE Title match at Mania, as much as some might disagree. He in a grudge match against Christian while Edge and Triple H go at it one-on-one is far more the dream scenario to me. But, that doesn't mean I think either of the two is going to win the Rumble. Orton winning it would help solidify Legacy. Edge winning it would be illogical and only solidify...well, nothing really.
Degenerate: What's all this love towards Legacy? And I thought my HBK man-crush was a bit too much. Like I mentioned before, I still believe Orton will be part of one of the high-profile matches, but not because he won the Rumble. Well, unless he perfects his punt to the head so much that by punting someone they'll fly over the top rope. That would be awesome to see, and I wouldn't mind him winning in that case. But I wouldn't be surprised to see him win one of the World Championships before April 5th. Why? I'll state my case in a moment.
But enough talk about people who don't need the rub. I think the Royal Rumble serves best when it elevates the career of someone who still hasn't broken through the proverbial glass ceiling. People like HBK in '95, Stone Cold in '97, Benoit in 2004 (yes, I mentioned Benoit - it happened, despite the WWE's efforts to make us think otherwise) and Batista in 2005 all won this match and it elevated them to heights they had never reached before. As mentioned earlier, we all thought Jeff Hardy would be the one to do so this year. Now that those predictions are off the table, it's time for someone else to pick up the card of the underdog.
There's not too many wrestlers who can carry this card, though. At least not too many who will make the hordes of Internet smarks bitch about it. But if there's an 'underdog' who can win this thing, I would choose CM Punk. Yeah, I said it, CM Punk, the same guy I have bashed previously, and who I said would never amount to anything. The guy proved to us that he could hold his own in a main event setting, and he has a solid fanbase backing him up. Considering that he never lost the World Heavyweight Championship to begin with, this could be a great story, with him seeking revenge against a World Champion - Randy Orton. You like this scenario?
XanMan: No, I don't. I'm a fan of CM Punk and want to see him succeed in the WWE, but I still think it's a little too early for him to really be in the mix for the World Title. Let's be honest, he only won Money in the Bank last year because Jeff Hardy couldn't and none of the other options were really feasible. Kennedy's always hurt; Benjamin is MR. MITB, but will never be considered a top contender by the WWE; Carlito is a career underachiever; John Morrison had zero single's buildup since losing his ECW Title to Punk, Chris Jericho was the I-C Champ, and MVP the U.S.
I love that he won the World Title from Edge in the same way Edge has stolen championships from other wrestlers, but I think his "loss" of the championship was done in such a way to allow the WWE to continue to make him look strong, but also give him a chance to be built back up to contender status. I wouldn't mind seeing him win the Royal Rumble next year, but this year seems just a trifle too soon. Let him have a good run as Intercontinental Champion first, and reincorporate some of his ROH offense back into his repertoire(the Pepsi Twist comes to mind immediately,) gain some upper midcard exposure and then pounce back into the main event. The slower build will be of more help in the long run.
As for Orton as World Champ going into Mania, I kind of doubt it. But, since that's what you're thinking is going to happen, what do you think they're going to do with Cena? And if you say face Taker, I'm going to puke. Literally. Your name won't be the only thing that's green.
Degenerate: Hey, my green color is a manly green. And don't worry. your name will be the only thing that's red, because I won't slice my wrists since this match is unlikely to happen. Although I wouldn't be surprised if it did happen. You have John Cena, the seemingly unstoppable force in the WWE, going again The Undertaker, the absolutely unstoppable force in Wrestlemania. In fact, it could even be seen as our generation's Hogan vs. Warrior - Arguably two of the hugest stars in the company, both faces, going at it at the biggest stage possible. Now that I think about it, it doesn't seem like a bad thing for the show. It would bring a lot of hype into it, especially if a championship were to be involved. Okay, I start to see the green in your face, so let's stop talking about this match, which hopefully never happens at all.
Returning to the Rumble, after all of this discussion, it seems like Randy Orton will win this thing and end up feuding with Cena until Wrestlemania, like a reverse of what happened after the 2008 Royal Rumble. I'm sure the WWE fans will remember every single detail on what happened last year. Oh wait, they most likely won't. Still, after all this discussion, I'm failing to think of names that could win this. Can the WWE just skip the event and save me $40 in the process? Or are there other names that are skipping my brilliant thoughts?
XanMan: Skip the event? You want to skip the Royal Rumble, which is traditionally one of the most exciting events of the year even when we "know" who the winner's going to be? Are you out of your freaking skull? Besides, you'll only use that $40 to go buy a videogame that'll last you far longer in entertainment value than a three hour wrestling show, but give far less talking points for that rag "Struggle For Power" you call a column. What am I doing? Obviously you should skip it, so we're not subjected to random Degenerate ramblings.
As for who you missed? Well, there's Mr. Kennedy who is finally done shilling his damned movie and may or may not be ready by the Rumble for his return. There's The Big Show who will be called, "The Odds-On Favo(u)rite" and may actually be considering that he's now competing with Edge for both Vickie's attention and a WWE Title shot. There's The Undertaker who could conceivably be having his 3rd straight Title vs. Streak match at Mania Silver. There's Jack Swagger who could turn the entire process on its head by winning and demanding an ECW Title shot as the main event of Wrestlemania. And, there's MVP, who I booked a program regarding earlier. His losing streak has to be leading somewhere, so winning the Rumble is not an out-of-the-question destination.
But, other than Orton or Triple H, the only one I see as a logical Royal Rumble winner is already holding a brand championship in the WWE. Yes, you read that correctly. Now, it's certainly possible(maybe even likely) that by the time we post this, Christian Cage will be confirmed as signing a contract to return to World Wrestling Entertainment, but suppose he doesn't. Suppose he wants more time to think about his decision or that he decides to re-sign with TNA? And further suppose Jeff Hardy keeps the WWE Title at least up to Wrestlemania. Well, that would leave Matt Hardy as the jealous little brother who cost Jeff his triple threat title match, but then when he saw how much heart his brother had, fought Kozlov tooth and nail for him, yet was creamed for his efforts. Enter a brother vs. brother WWE Title match for the first time ever...on the biggest stage imaginable. After all, I'll be there.
Degenerate: And just for you, expect a full-blown Struggle For Power column about the Royal Rumble in a few weeks. Because I know how much you love reading them. And who cares if you'll be there? ... Dammit, I wanted to go to Wrestlemania. I hate you for getting tickets to the event.
Anyway, petty jealousy aside, I don't think the WWE will do another feud between both Hardys. Besides that they're both insanely over with the crowds, I don't think they have forgotten the original Jeff vs. Matt feud in late 2001. Although that was short-lived and never mentioned on WWE television again, I remember how everything seemed didn't seem feel right having them both fight each other. Of course, now it's a whole new ballgame, with both brothers at the highest point they've ever been. But I don't think the WWE will push this to happen while both are still incredibly popular with the kiddies.
Your other choices - I'm going to guess you were taking a massive amount of dope, you dope. I view Big Show as a 'special attraction' nowadays. Kennedy has a high probability of getting injured between the Rumble and Wrestlemania, so I'm sure the WWE doesn't want that risk. And who in the blue hell is Jack Swagger? I need to get my ass to watch ECW on Tuesdays, I guess. What are the odds that an ECW member wins, like a billion to one? If someone from ECW is going to win, I'd rather have that zombie that showed up in the first show win.
Speaking of brands, which brand do you think has the highest chance of producing the eventual winner? Since the Rumble in 2003, when the brand split was already in place, Smackdown has the edge in Royal Rumble wins (four wins - Brock Lesnar in '03, Chris Benoit in '04 - although he switched to Raw the next day - Rey Mysterio in '06 and The Undertaker in '07) over Raw (two wins - Batista in '05 and John Cena in '08). For me, that's a bit surprising, since many consider Raw to be the 'more superior' brand. Just like a lot of people consider 'Struggle For Power' a far more superior column.
XanMan: "more superior?" It's grammar like that that makes me wonder if your readers actually read the words or just look at the pretty pictures. I know it's far-fetched for Swagger to win it--and how can you not know who the All-American American is--but, don't you think it would be nice if one did and just decided to challenge for his brand's title? It would be a way for the organization to kind of say to the fans: Fuck you, this is a real brand of our promotion, the championship does count, and it's not going away any time soon, so deal with it." Big Show, however, is far from out of the question, as it certainly seems like he's trying to insert himself into the title picture. Unless they're setting up for a long-term Big Show/Edge program(and might I add "ugh") I don't see the point unless they're planning to make him a legitimate contender. As I've said before, I'd prefer that they keep him as a special attraction type wrestler the way you mentioned, but it doesn't look like they're doing that right now.
Seeing as how Randy Orton is still my #1 choice to win the Rumble, I'm going to have to say that I think the RAW brand has the greater chance of pulling it out. Besides, do you really seeing them falling behind 5-2 to Smackdown? It's weird, though, about the whole superiority thing. Right now I think Smackdown has a ton of starpower and wrestling ability, but RAW still seems to put on the better show and matches every week. To be honest, I think the only person we've talked about who I would absolutely bet against winning the Rumble is your boy, Michaels, and he wrestles for the RAW brand also, so by sheer odds, I guess Smackdown would be the favorite, but I still don't see someone from there winning the thing, even though I have thought for about a year now that one of the main events of this year's Mania would be Edge vs. Triple H. Something else will happen to set that up.
Degenerate: With about 70 days between the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania this year, including a Pay-Per-View in between, anything can happen. I mean, weirder things have happened in shorter periods of time, like having someone who was actually awesome, like yours truly, being in an edition of The X-Change, did you? I'm sure your readers appreciate a 'more superior' mind here. Going back to wrestling, will someone ever challenge for the ECW Championship? It would be cool if a wrestler from a brand other than ECW won the Rumble, and has some sort of rivalry with the current ECW Champ so he ends up challenging for that belt. Then again, I don't expect hell to freeze over or pigs to fly anytime soon.
In any case, if the WWE continues last year's theme and does dual Elimination Chambers in February's No Way Out, some rivalries could easily be sparked due to that match. Like, for example, let's say Triple H is about to win and get a title shot at Wrestlemania, and Edge screws him out of winning. You have more than enough incentive for what should be a great Wrestlemania match. The WWE seems to have taken a liking to No Way Out, as in the past couple of years it has been more than a simple detour on the Road To Wrestlemania. It's an event that molds Wrestlemania into its final form. So while we all have our picks - although in most cases, they seem to be wishful thinking - there's a high probability it'll change drastically in the upcoming weeks.
Seriously though, can the WWE just let Shawn Michaels win every single title? Just for me?
Well, that's my cue to wrap this up. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be here, in front of these awesome LOP readers. It was your honor and privilege to have me here. I'll expect my check in the mail.
XanMan: Well, you're expecting something from a main pager, but I'm pretty sure it's not a check; I guess you'll know in 9 months.
X-Tra! X-Tra!
What you won't have to wait months for, however, is our epic contest. That's right, folks, the master of Struggle For Power and your Ambassador of X will be competing in a best of five series starting in early February. The winner gets nothing but bragging rights and a tricked up banner, but between the two of us, bragging rights are really all we need. Here's the banner so far, that the winner gets to trick up however he likes:
In addition to that, I'm also one of the triumvirate of judges in the currently running in the LoP Columns Forum.
But, I have one more major announcement to make. In the past, as in this one, every one of the X-Changes has had the guest debater be chosen by invitation; that's about to change. Monday will begin a new contest, to be held quarterly, in which the next person to debate me will earn his spot. I am now officially annoucing:
Affectionately known as the CATHIEs, these contests will be judged by me and proceed pretty much exactly like ESPN's Around The Horn television show. All you have to do to be able to participate is have written at least two(2)solo columns in the 30 days prior to the contest's start. If you have done so, you're invited. Please sign up at this link. Good luck to all participants. If you have not written 2 columns in the last 30 days, start writing now, keep doing so, and you should be able to participate in the next one; as I plan to run this contest quarterly.
I just have one more piece of housekeeping business to take care of. You may have noticed LoP took on a new look a couple of weeks ago. It's not just cosmetic; we're using a new publishing software, so everything from the past has to be reposted on this one. If you look to the right side of your screen, you'll see some previous columns posted. It'll take me a while to get all of my old stuff transferred over, but until I do, you can just click this link in order to read past Northern Stars. And, as always, you can send any comments by email to me at XanManX@hotmail.com with the words "Northern Star" or "feedback" in the subject line or you can click here to leave feedback if you're a member of The Lop Forums. If you want to drop Degenerate a line about his performance today, or to arrange to send him a Jillian Hall singing telegram, just click here.
currently running in the 