Posted in: The Northern Star Excuse The Aggravation: Episode 90
By XanMan
Jan 11, 2009 - 9:40:18 AM
Excuse The Aggravation, but I'm XanMan. Sheepster, what did Santa get you for Christmas?
I got socks. Lots and lots of socks. I'm Sheepster, and I'm fed up of socks.
With
XanMan and sheepster
Zuma appears as Stat Boy.
Hello boys and girls, and welcome to ETA. Today, Michaels and JBL, Legacy, and Austin over Hogan, really? But, we start with Smackdown.
Since we've been gone, we've got a new WWE Champion in Jeff Hardy. What do you think about this development so far?
I don't know what to think. When I saw it happen, I managed to hit five of the seven stages of grief, all at once. I'm still waiting for guilt and acceptance though. See, the belt just looks wrong on him. With Triple H or Edge, it looked like a trophy at least. On Jeff Hardy, it looks like someone pimped out his man-satchel. I just don't like Jeff Hardy. Never have. Matt was always my favourite. So I immediately started focusing on more of the questions that this reign brings about. How? Why? Who did he blackmail? How long is he going to have it? And it's that last question that strikes fear into my heart. I really think they may be building up to a Triple H vs. Jeff Hardy match. And it might just come at Wrestlemania. My only hope is that he loses the title to someone before that, and does the unprofessional thing of wasting his rematch clause on free-to-watch TV. So we're getting perilously close to Wrestlemania. Is he going to drop the belt before then? Does he go any further as champion than the Royal Rumble?
I doubt it. Personally, I still foresee Edge vs. Triple H for the WWE Title at Mania the way I have for a long time. The best way to do that would be to get the strap off Hardy and onto Edge at the Rumble and have Triple H win some kind of contender's tournament after Jeffrey has his rematch. I say that, because I don't believe Trips is winning the Rumble and I hate being spoiled so I don't read the spoilers posted. If I did, this would probably be an easy question to answer. I, myself, have absolutely no problem with Hardy being champion. For one thing, he's over as sin, and being thus over, a guy that never has held the title deserves to get it; that can only lead to increased caring by fans, and it looks like they're on fire for him now. For another, the guy's earned it. When he first debuted, I thought he was going to be the next HBK and while I hardly think that's the case anymore, he's certainly got some talent, regardless of your disdain. In your heart of hearts, don't you have to honestly say that if either of the Hardy's was going to win the organization's top prize that it had to be Jeff? Isn't Matt, for all his talent, far too bland to gain that distinction?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up a second. He's earned it? How? Out of the two, Matt Hardy has worked harder and been far more loyal and upstanding than his lemming of a brother. He was booking his own company while Jeff was wondering if he really wanted to be a wrestler. He was fired for having his girlfriend cheat on him while Jeff was getting drugged up in TNA. He even made the Cruiserweight title seem interesting. That's a hard thing to do! As for bland, he's no more bland than already-multi-time-champion Randy Orton. "Oooh. Look at me. I can furrow my brow and stalk you menacingly." (No disrespect to Mr. Ortion. I love him just as much as Matt.) Look at Matt Hardy's Version 1 days. He just needs the right vehicle for success. I can admit that Jeff has bloomed in these past few months. He's shown almost a whole new, more technical moveset at times. But Matt had this years ago. If Matt painted himself flourescent pink and threw himself off of tall things, he'd be far better at it than Dumbluck Jeff over there.
Then perhaps he should, don't you think? I agree that Version 1 was an outstanding character, but he doesn't play that one anymore. Instead he's just a "go get 'em" style of face that's tailor-made for the 1980's WWE style. That doesn't cut it here in the '90s. John Cena may be over as sin now doing roughly the same thing Mr. Hardy does, but he also has a better sense of humor and got over originally doing something far different. Yes, Jeff has made mistakes in his life, but over the course of the last year(aside from the drug problem he was punished for) he's been one of the best wrestlers anywhere in the WWE. He puts on great matches, has improved his character, and, as you said, been very strong technically. I understand you like Matt better, but it's inarguable that Jeff is way more over than he is; fans speak loudly, sometimes. Isn't that as it should be?
I don't agree with the improvement in character. When you look at Jeff, there's still not much behind the eyes. He just has a blank expression, even when he's trying to be angry. But I guess I'll just have to see how it goes. I currently remain unconvinced.
The Big Slow appears to actually be in some sort of angle that matters. As LOP's resident BS mark, you must be happy about this.
I'm thrilled. I get to see Big Show every week, cracking jokes, and being awesome. I've learned to enjoy these moments while I can. Because every time he gets himself into a story like this, he always ends up fizzling out and leaving me after about 8 months. Only once have I seen him gain a decent world title out of a thing like this. He is my own personal Kane. Still, I am buoyed by the fact that he mysteriously walked out of that tag team match on Smackdown, leaving Edge to be picked apart by the Hardys. It intrigues me. Hopefully, it has something to do with him wanting into the title picture. That'd be awesome. More likely is that Jeff Hardy fed him a poisonous burrito. Not so awesome.
Didn't they already run that angle? Big Show shouldn't be anywhere near a championship. Sorry, sheep, but the dude just doesn't deserve it. He's always been lazy and grown complacent any time they've put a title on him for any length of time at all. I loved when he first went to ECW and he started absolutely mauling people, but then what happened? He got the strap and started just going through the motions again. Besides that is the simple fact that an average sized guy defeating him just isn't believable in most circumstances. It's the reverse of the Rey Mysterio factor and both would be far better used in special attraction type situations; though I really don't want to see "The Big Show Kiss Cam," nor does anyone, I'll wager.
I would...
You do have a point about his laziness. I think I have a solution though. I hate to say it, but I don't care as much for Big Show when he's being a mean crushing machine. He's at his best when he's being funny. He could be good guy funny or bad guy funny. It doesn't matter. But when you look at his two WWE Heavyweight championships and his ECW title run, he's always been made to look like the evil unstoppable monster. He almost seems to lose the inability to speak when he gets a title. I don't think this is his fault. It's the part he's being told to play. If you give him the belt and then allow him to show some personality, rather than HULK SMASH!, I reckon you'd have quite the entertaining champion on your hands.
I can't disagree with that. The period of time in which Big Slow was doing what Charlie Haas is now is probably the time I enjoyed him the best, but I keep coming back to my point that stated "an average sized guy defeating him just isn't believable in most circumstances." Sure, it would make the one that can look great, especially if BS was booked like a monster, but it would probably be wasted on somebody like Cena or Batista, anyway. I kind of look at it this way: would the WWE be any worse off if Paul Wight(who I still think should be called The Big Nasty) wasn't in it? And, I have say "no."
You could say that for any wrestler. Very few of them would give a "yes" to that question. Triple H? John Cena? Not many others come to mind. Shawn Michaels is awesome, but they could do without him; Undertaker too. And, I'll admit, Big Show. I suppose 'special attraction' is the best I can hope for. That's basically what Undertaker is, and he has been for a few years now.
Shawn Michaels has recently become JBL's little pet Texan. Where is this all leading to, Xan?
I can safely say that I have no idea where this angle is going. I'm hoping that it's heading towards Shawn Michaels costing John Cena the World Title and Michaels eventually facing JBL at Mania for said title, with an eventual full-blown heel turn for Michaels and then next year a rematch from Wrestlemania XXIII, except this time the way it should be: Michaels as a heel and Cena as the face who gets his punk teeth kicked in. That probably won't happen, though, right?
Speaking of "What the-" angles, what's up with this Legacy turnover?
I'm not sure but I'm loving it. Anything Orton touches turns to gold. He's doing a perfect job being in charge of this group, and I'm really starting to get behind it. I can possibly see why he dropped Manu last week. I could almost see it coming. But dropping Sim Snuka? That threw me for a loop. If I had to guess, Snuka and Manu will get together and try to get back in. Maybe they'll beat Cody Rhodes up. That'd be nice. I'm still wondering why they took DiBiase out though. Is 'The Marine 2' really that important? Riddle me this, Xanman. Where does DiBiase fit in when he gets back? Or will they sweep all that under the carpet and start him fresh with something else?
I wouldn't be surprised if this whole thing ends with Orton on his own and Dibiase, Rhodes, Manu, and Snuka as a faction on their own. I don't think they'll avoid having Dibiase cross paths with Orton, Rhodes, and Manu and I don't think he'll come back that thrilled with Orton. Priceless, however, was just getting started when Dibiase left to film the movie(and yes, it's damned important. How many rookies get the chance to make a flick?) and I think this whole Legacy thing might just be a stall tactic until he's ready to return. On the other hand, they do have Hennig's kid and DH Smith in development that they could bring up, too, though I'd prefer that they bring in the new generation Hart Foundation instead for them.
5 Good...
Ways Smackdown vs. Raw 2009 is better than 2008's version
1. The Road to Wrestlemania feature could use a couple of heel choices, but it's still much better than 24/7 mode.
I haven't actually bought this game yet. If what you say is true, I may have to invest in a copy.
2. As nice as the ability to create a title is, it pales in comparison to creating a finisher.
YES! They said it couldn't be done! But finally, my triple DDT-plex splash-choke with armbar-into-pin through-a-table will be realised!
3. Randy Orton has his slithering RKO.
That is awesome.
4. More focus on tag team wrestling. The WWE could use this in its actual product.
Other things WWE could use in their actual product: the hit-stick from Madden, the ragdoll physics of GTA IV and the exploding sheep from Worms.
5. Chris Jericho, Big Daddy V, and Trevor fucking Murdoch are in this year's version.
That's only a good thing if they have the virtual Trevor Murdoch review films for me.
Lie Detector
CM Punk will win the Intercontinental Title this Monday in only his second opportunity.
You're not even close to setting this thing off. A huge tournament has been played out, an arguable fan favourite has come out on top, the bad guy disqualifies himself in the title match and then a rematch is set whereby the bad guy can lose the title in a disqualification. If Punk loses, he's lost twice in a row. He's not getting another shot. Why should he? And then the last month and a half were for nothing. Logic dictates that Punk will deprive Regal of his belt.
WWE will eventually release a film that tops the box office.
That's an outright lie. The only way this would ever happen is if The Rock were to come down off his high horse and agree to work with the WWE in one of their properties and there was nothing else opening that weekend and no blockbusters in the preceding 3 weeks. You, sir, are full of it.
Someone will surpass Chris Benoit's amazing 2004 Royal Rumble performance this year.
BZZZZZZZT!! You lie, sir. WWE shot themselves in the foot on this one. They can't have the match going much longer than it did for Benoit. There's also no real way for the first entrant to know how long he's been in the match. They could tell the last entrant how long the match has been going and get him to say to the first guy "keep it going for another 15 minutes"... but he's wrestling. How can you keep time when you're busy wrestling? No. If WWE want to scrub out the legacy of Benoit altogether, they'll have to wait a few more years. Someone from the middle 10 entrants is winning this year.
How about putting Hulk Hogan in the Lie Detector to finish off? He said this when he phoned into a Jim Ross interview.
I would have no problem putting over Steve Austin if we faced each other at Wrestlemania 25.
I actually think The Hulkster is telling the truth. His divorce is still hanging over him--though, I believe Linda kind of got slapped down lately--and I'm sure he wants to get back in Vince's good graces after the whole Celebrity Wrestling fiasco so he can earn some more cash as needed. Besides, I really believe he's hurt at the locker room backlash he got when he refused to job to HBK in 2005.
Smokin' up the Stat Room
Well, Gents… it’s good to be back here for another run as the Stat Boy, and thank BAH GAWD you hired someone competent to do this job, because you two are in desperate need of correction. We’re already moving downhill, so let’s run with it…
We’ll start first with Xan’s blast from the past comment that Hardy’s “Go get ‘em” style “doesn’t cut it here in the 90’s.” While around these parts you’re a legend, but we’ll have to pull you back to the future. As of just a few days ago, this is 2009, buddy. The 90’s were when you wore Megadeth shirts and argued about Hagar vs. Van Halen – not Matt vs. Jeff Hardy.
On the topic of Hardy’s… any burrito ingested by Big Show isn’t going to be poisoned, but will have remains of either a dead animal, or fecal matter. With Jeff doing the feeding, we’d most likely see Big Show’s crunchy-cheesy-rito filled with Big Show’s own pet cat who’s been doped on LSD then stewed in Day-Glo paint. Ah… good, wholesome, WWE family fun.
Now onto the glaring mistake. You two gents spoke of the WWE “erasing” Benoit’s legacy in the Royal Rumble, what what’s you’ve failed to realize is that Benoit is no longer the standard bearer of “Rumble” winners. As a matter of fact, even when he did win the Rumble after entering #1 he had only outlasted Bob Backlund's 1993 effort by a mere 20 seconds, and Ric Flair’s 1992 effort by 54 seconds. The important part though is that Rey Mysterio (Mexican Americans FTW!) has outlasted everyone in the Royal Rumble with his effort of 62 minutes and 12 seconds to become the Royal Rumble winner in 2006. Here’s a breakdown showing the four longest lasting Rumble participants:
1993:
Winner: Yokozuna (#27)
Iron Man: Bob Backlund - 61:10
Eliminator: Yokozuna - 7
2004:
Winner: Chris Benoit (#1)
Iron Man: Chris Benoit - 61:30
Eliminatorr: Chris Benoit - 6
2006:
Winner: Rey Mysterio (#2)
Iron Man: Rey Mysterio - 62:12
Eliminator: Rey Mysterio - 6
As you can see, you both should learn two things from this. One – I’m always right. Two – small Mexicans are easily forgotten. However, big huge Hoss Mexicans like myself have infinitely more street cred than the two of you combined.
I’m going to skip past Sheepster’s ridiculously impossible e-fed finishing maneuver, as speaking of an e-fed on the Main Page is extremely undignified for a man of my high social e-stature.
I'm spent.
Back to you, Xan.
Like anybody cares about Mysterio, Zuma. All he did was lay on his ass the whole match, anyway. Well, that and his stupid, jackassy flips.
Big Finish
Giants/Eages and Ravens/Titans seem to be the most anticipated NFL games of the weekend. Who you got?
I'd say the Giants win by 3 and the Ravens win by 7. I'm actually more interested in the other two matches though. Regardless of the result, a Steelers/Panthers Superbowl would make me a happy sheepy.
I'll fire the same question back at you. Let's make a game of it. What are your predictions?
I'll take the Titans and the Giants. The Giants didn't win the Superbowl last year on a fluke(though there was a flukey play) and I think the Ravens are coming into too physical a game to have a short week. Since you kind of implied a question, I'll also take the Panthers and the Steelers in the other games.
24, Battlestar Galactica, and Lost all premiere within the next two weeks. To which are you most looking forward?
Out of those three? House. By a mile.
Barack Obama has apparently joined forces with Spider-Man. He'll be featured in an upcoming comic. Which of the two has jumped the shark here?
Spiderman jumped the shark when Spidey's marriage to MJ was made to have never been. Adding Obama is just another slide down for this once proud comic.
And speaking of proud comics, I know X-Men Origins: Wolverine has almost no chance to be as good as Iron Man or The Dark Knight, but will it at least be good as X-2?
I remember the first and third X-Men films. I remember nothing of X-2 though. I'd say Wolverine has a great shot at being better. Having a decent story is all they'd need to do. And though a severe lack of Patrick Stewart hurts the film somewhat, the absence Jean Grey is a huge bonus.
A prominent potato chip manufacturer in the UK is about to start selling Cajun Squirrel flavoured crisps. Have you ever eaten a squirrel?
No, but living in Korea, I did once try dog. You know what? Tasted like Cajun squirrel.
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