My Two Centsss - Night of Champions Predictions (with SkitZ)
By Super Chrisss & SkitZ
Sep 13, 2013 - 3:35:23 PM
(Credit: Tom Jenner @ImageBlownOut)
Chrisss: 37.0 Skitz: 36.0
SkitZ: Hmmmmm well according to Kassius Ohno, Night of Champions is his least favorite PPV of the year. I'm interested to see how long such comments prolong Hero's lengthy stay in NXT; can't imagine Trips will deem the tweet as what's best for business.
Chrisss: THAT'S how you introduce this column? You name-drop a guy who not only isn't booked for Sunday's Pay-Per-View, but isn't even booked on the main roster? Oh, Skitz. I've taught you nothing, have I, Mr. King-of-multi-person-columns?
SkitZ: What? I just stumbled upon that social tidbit a couple minutes ago. Sorry it was still fresh in my mind, dick breath. Besides, it's semi-relative to the column. I am a guest in this house... and you're not treating me like one.
Chrisss: Too bad. This is my posting space and I'll behave any way I want to. You don't like it? Go write a column with someone else. While you pout in the corner, I'll talk wrestling.
Kickoff Match: Tag Team Turmoil (The Real Americans vs. Tons of Funk vs. 3MB vs. The Primetime Players vs. The Usos)
Chrisss: Well, let's see here. The Shield are heels, which automatically eliminates 3MB and Colter's cronies from contention. Tons of Funk don't win matches anymore, so it's between The Usos and the revitalized Primetime Players. Both teams could pull out a win but PTP have been winning an awful lot lately.
SkitZ: Yeah Vince isn't stupid. Once Darren Young finally came out of the men's locker room and media outlets jumped all over it, WWE capitalized immediately. And who can blame them? Gaining support from gay rights groups can't hurt... especially in a sport where sweaty men are engaging in... ehhh you can figure it out. In the wake of the group's resurgence, O'Neil's popularity with the fans has really skyrocketed; making the face turn a smoother transition for PTP.
Chrisss: While I'm glad they turned the duo face and gave them a push, especially since the "Millions of Dollars" jingle was going to get over eventually, I'm not sure if they went the best way about it. Maybe have them cut a promo or something instead of randomly facing one heel tag team after another? In any case, I'm putting my money on the PTP unless The Big Show finds a partner and gets himself entered in the match somehow.
SkitZ: Nah TBS is far too wrapped up in Hunter and Bryan's beef to start challenging for the tag team straps all of a sudden. Once SkidMark suffered his injury, the Creative Team scratched that plan and inserted the giant directly into WWE's newest venture. Based on work rate alone, I'd argue that The Real Americans should advance to face Reigns & Rollins on the actual PPV. But track records aren't the deciding factor and, as you mentioned above, a heel versus heel bout could have an adverse effect on the crowd. My money's on the Prime Time Players, fool.
Chrisss: Poor Cesaro. He's one of the best athletes WWE has to offer yet his win/loss record since Wrestlemania season has been a disaster. His partnership with Swagger and Colter has given him something to do and he's on television more often than not, but it's not like he's been channeling his inner Goldberg and winning all of his matches. Cesaro seems to be stuck having awesome matches with people but rarely getting a win for him or his team. Alas, I agree that the PTP will be victorious on Sunday which will give us...
Chrisss' pick: The Primetime Players win
SkitZ's pick: The Primetime Players win
WWE Tag Team Championship: The Shield (c.) vs. The Primetime Players
SkitZ: It's been fun watching Reigns & Rollins bounce from project to project since capturing the belts back in May. The tag team division is currently in a better place because of it. Whenever WWE has enough legitimate groups to produce a tag team turmoil contest, things are heading in the right direction. No matter the match length or card placement, The Shield routinely deliver the goods. So despite PTP not exactly being the best competition available, I'm confident we'll see a solid performance on Sunday from those four individuals. Personally, I'd have loved to see Harper & Rowan included but fully understand why they aren't ****ing with the group's momentum. Especially when I doubt The Wyatt Family are done with Kane yet.
Chrisss: Yeah, I was also wondering how they could exclude one of the most popular, non-Shield teams from the match, but your reasoning makes sense. Unless The Wyatts are booked to win, there's no point in hurting their momentum with a loss at a pre-show. As for our mutually agreed outcome, I think the PTP will give Reigns and Rollins a run for their money, but will very narrowly fall short of capturing the gold. It's a shame, since the PTP were supposed to win the titles at last year's Night of Champions, but then Team Hell No came along and ruined those plans. One year later, I think Young & O'Neil's bad luck continues, as I don't see The Shield giving up their titles just yet.
SkitZ: Troof. Who knew one ill-advised joke would land Young & O'Neil such shitty luck moving forward? ****in' A.W. I'm curious to find out who eventually unseats Reigns & Rollins down the road and at which point. Considering how The Shield have been booked over the course of their reign, WWE should make a big deal when that moment finally arrives. I expect the Men in Black to retain until November or December.
Based on what logic you ask? Nothing reassuring that's for sure (my mind works in mysterious ways).
Chrisss: Simple. The Shield are part of Triple H's New Corporation and they need to be kept strong. Both Ambrose and Rollins have laid down for the Yes-Man in recent times, and if they lose their belts on Sunday, the trio will be seen as only being able to get the job done when it comes to three-on-one assaults. Believe it or not, The Shield needs a win at Night of Champions more than The Primetime Players do.
Hey, speaking of The Shield AND people who need a win...
Chrisss' pick: The Shield retain the titles
SkitZ's pick: The Shield retain the titles
United States Championship: Dean Ambrose (c.) vs. Dolph Ziggler*
Chrisss: *First things first, at the time of this writing - 7pm Est on Tuesday, September 10 - no one is really sure whether this match is happening or not. It was reportedly made official at last week's SmackDown tapings, but I must have missed the announcement. I also must have missed the hype and announcement on Raw this week, which is a shame because Ziggler vs. Ambrose has the potential to be a legitimate show-stealer.
SkitZ: Assuming management doesn't book Dolph like they have since SummerSlam. Ziggler's been wily and resistant but his matches are becoming too one-sided for my liking. I realize the guy is a face now but getting in minimal offense and hitting two or three nice counters isn't nearly enough. The company's still restraining Nemeth too much and whenever it appears he's broken free, Vince & Co. just tighten their grip on the leash. Judging by where Dolph is/should be at this stage, using him as Ryback's squash toy is unacceptable.
Chrisss: If the rumours are true, Ziggler has found himself in the doghouse thanks to some comments he gave in a recent interview...about something. Having him basically get squashed by Bray Wyatt last Monday is definitely an indication that Ziggy isn't in management's good graces for whatever reason. It's a shame, since this man should be next in line to challenge Del Rio for the world title he never should have lost, rather than jobbing to guys who aren't booked for Sunday's PPV.
If you can come up with any scenario that results in a Ziggler victory over Ambrose at NOC, I'd love to hear it.
SkitZ: Well based on the information you just produced, why would I bother?
I can't blame the Blonde Perm for being disgruntled with his current positioning but don't shoot yourself in the foot. I mean those interviews can't pay THAT much. You won't receive a scenario from me that ends well for Dolph because his chances of escaping Detroit with gold are nil (the city filed for bankruptcy, remember?). Especially if Ambrose's buddies are creeping around ringside.
I'm guessing Zigs will have the U.S. Champ reeling before a referee distraction dooms the challenger in. Kudos for attempting to fit Dolph on the card somewhere but him capturing midcard gold makes absolutely zero sense.
Chrisss: I see what you did there. Way to slander the poor city, asswipe.
If there's any saving grace here, it's that both parties should leave the arena looking strong. Then again, there's also a good chance this match doesn't end up happening, and Ambrose defends against Big Show or Kofi or someone else instead. Either way, The Shield's dominance over the midcard title scene will continue past Sunday.
SkitZ: Agreed. What's next on the list? Talking about Ziggler for long stretches depresses me.
Chrisss: How times change, don't they? From Mr. MitB to world champion to talent enhancement...sigh.
Up next we have the IWC's ideal diva taking on three Total Divas. Kick us off, good sir.
Chrisss' pick: Ambrose retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Ambrose retains the title
WWE Divas Championship: Aj Lee (c.) vs. Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella
SkitZ: Surely, Lee getting the date of her Divas Title victory tattooed across the back of her neck assures us that she's in for a looonnnnggg reign, right? Because sentimental moment aside, I'd have to question AJ's decision making if she drops the belt after just three months. Unless of course the Geek Goddess intends on inking all of her championship wins to the point where her shoulder blades are covered in tally marks (assuming Lee wrangles in a fair amount). Nevertheless, I give the bitch major props for her commitment. Or ****ing out and getting weak body art... Haven't decided which yet.
Chrisss: I know tons of people gave Aj shit for that tattoo, but who the **** are they to judge? Her parents? A woman is allowed to do whatever she wants with her body (unless her name is Miley Cyrus). Also, it shows just how much Aj cares about the pro wrestling business - she is a true fan. I guarantee you that not a single one of those Total Divas - excluding Natalya - would do the same. Heck, I seriously doubt Brie even remembers which year she won the title! Aj is the hottest - and best - woman in wrestling today, and no one in that Fatal-4-Way is worthy of taking that title away from her (this includes Nattie, who needs to be booked properly before even sniffing divas' gold).
SkitZ: AJ is a boss with the butterfly belt (which is something I never imagined saying about any Diva post-'06). If the writers are a sensible bunch, Lee should escape with a 'W' but this Total Divas nonsense is making me hesitant. Hopefully, the match itself suffices for the climax of whatever TD episode its featured on. Removing the strap from AJ's bitty waist would be highway robbery; derailing her reign to benefit a reality TV show is ****ing ridiculous.
At worst, let's pray that if Natalya or Naomi captures the belt at NOC, they drop it back to AJ at the following pay per view.
Chrisss: Ehhh, I'm with Hustle in the sense that wrestling companies should never play hot potato with their titles, whether it's the World, X-Division, or Divas Championship. Pick a champion and roll with him or her, damnit.
From what I understand, you're picking a Total Divas star to win it on Sunday. You may very well be right, since multi-woman matches rarely end well for the defending champion, but I don't care - my money is happily on Aj.
SkitZ: Whoa now, I didn't say all that! In a worst case scenario, I could understand Lee losing her grasp on the gold for 3-4 weeks but I'm predicting she withstands the bloody tampons thrown at her on Sunday and ultimately prevails. Don't put words in my mouth, Pendleton.
Chrisss: Well, you were the only person on the planet who expected Kaitlyn to retain her title back at Payback, so I always have to double-check with you. But enough diva talk - onto the triple-main-event (which may look 'meh' on paper, but could all turn into interesting match-ups).
Chrisss' pick: Aj retains the title
SkitZ' pick: Aj retains the title
Handicap Elimination Match: CM Punk vs. Curtis Axel & Paul Heyman
Chrisss: In case there was actually someone out there who thought Axel had a chance of beating Punk and preventing Heyman from getting in the ring with his former protege, WWE did us the favour by jobbing Axel out in two consecutive matches to Kofi Freakin' Kingston. That leaves me with two questions: a) Will we see a new Paul Heyman guy show up to 'save the day' for the evil genius; and b) Why the **** is the Intercontinental Champion not defending his title at Night of Champions?
SkitZ: Because... WWE believes simply featuring the IC Champ is good enough? I don't envision there being another Heyman guy in the near future. Instead, I anticipate Brock returning when Paul's trapped in a corner to save his agent yet again. There's a rematch coming down the pipe dammit (HIAC hopefully). Axel is nothing more than a punching bag for Punk while Lesnar's absent.
Heyman needs an able body to take the brunt of the punishment when the Beast is hibernating or ****ing his wife.
Chrisss: I hear you, but what was the point of having Axel (kind of) go over names like Triple H and Cena, rush him/push him to an IC title reign, and then job him out mercilessly? Axel and Punk have good in-ring chemistry - imagine how invested the fans would be if it appeared Axel actually had a chance of beating Punk? Instead, we're left wondering how Punk will be screwed out of his revenge yet again rather than who will win the match. Terrible booking, at least if you're Curtis Axel.
Those of you expecting to see Lesnar make an appearance on Sunday, prepare to be swerved. We're getting a NEW Heyman guy - mark my words.
SkitZ: Oh are we now? So you're privy to information the rest of us aren't? Please feel free to share who will save Heyman from his ensuing beatdown on Sunday. Not gonna lie... I'm mildly interested to see where this goes.
Chrisss: Better believe it, son. In Chrisss you trust! Honestly, it could be a lost soul like Ryback or Sandow. It could be a NXT star like Corey Graves or Leo Kruger. It could be The Brooklyn Brawler (who NO ONE should follow on Twitter, by the way). All I know is, someone is showing up to help Heyman and give Punk the DQ win on Sunday, and that man is not Brock Lesnar.
SkitZ: Gah, stop pissing on my parade. A Lesnar return is totally feasible. Realistic? Maybe not but I can dream. I do agree however as far as somebody racing to.Paul E's aid and Punk subsequently picking up the DQ victory.
Chrisss: Now you're talking. I won't rule out a Lesnar run-in completely, but like I said, don't get your hopes up. According to his contract, The Beast isn't expected back until the Royal Rumble at the very earliest. Damn those lucrative deals!
Hey, you know who else has a pretty sweet contract that's supposed to be finishing up soon? The man who just happens to be challenging for the world heavyweight championship...
Chrisss' pick: Punk wins by DQ
SkitZ's pick: Punk wins by DQ
World Heavyweight Championship: Alberto del Rio (c.) vs. Rob van Dam
SkitZ: I'm not shocked to see RVD competing for the World Title this soon upon his return. In fact, I figured Van Dam would've eventually been added to ADR/Christian at S/Slam. In retrospect however, I'm glad the company held off an extra month (especially since Dolph's still getting bent over left and right).
Rob & Dorito match up well together and if they're given 13-16 minutes, observers should walk away impressed. I've grown accustomed to Del Rio knocking it out of the park at every PPV so it's a foregone conclusion that Berty will pull his weight. Will Van Dam keep up? Or get blown up five minutes in?
Chrisss: #Pause. Del Rio has transformed into an in-ring general and even at his advanced age, RVD is no slouch in the ring. I think we're in store for a legit MOTN contender when all is said and done.
Deep down, I still wish Christian had won the title last month, and there's a part of me praying RVD will end Del Rio's reign of terror at Night of Champions, but I know it's not going to happen. It may seem rather predictable that Ricardo Rodriguez will turn on Van Dam and help his former (current?) employer retain his title, but I would love nothing more than to be wrong. Del Rio needs to drop the world title ASAP and stay far away from the main-event scene for a long, long time.
SkitZ: Tsk tsk Chrissstopher. Your blind hatred disappoints me greatly. Until ADR's streak of strong pay per view performances dries up, he can hold the title for as long as management will allow it. Dorito's aggression in particular has picked up considerably since regaining the gold in June and I love it. RVD's an odd duck in general but watching him and Ricardo... errr bond is ****ing weird. Rodriquez needs Alberto and vice versa. Let the reunion commence at NOC. And now that I've confirmed your ADR disdain hasn't died down, I hope he carries the belt for 446 days... just to ruin your year.
Chrisss: I hope you die a long, painful death. Del Rio could hold the title for twice as long as Bruno Sammartino and he still wouldn't be over. When a rowdy crowd is more pumped for a match between Antonio Cesaro and Santino than a match featuring your world champion (no offense to Cesaro or Santino), there is a serious problem. Unfortunately, I have to hang my head and accept that Del Rio will remain champion until at least Hell in a Cell - or is Battleground the next PPV? Anyways...sigh...
SkitZ: Mmmm probably even Survivor Series or TLC at this rate. In any event, you're far too demanding of ADR. If Mysterio had prosthetic limbs, we could've been subjected to Rey Rey as World Champ month after month instead so be thankful. Ricardo double crosses Van Dam and assists Del Rio in another triumph.
Honestly, I just can't picture RVD and Rodriguez surviving WWE's Wellness Program if they're gonna be traveling together.
Chrisss: Touche. But to steal one of your lines from earlier, all this talk about Del Rio is depressing me. Let's move onto the main-event, shall we?
Chrisss' pick: Del Rio retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Del Rio retains the title
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan
SkitZ: I kinda feel like picking D-Bry to pull off the upset just because 95% of the IWC don't think he stands a snow cone's chance in hell of overcoming H's evil empire. Pro Wrestling 101 suggests that Goatface will indeed be unsuccessful at NOC but ****... how about a little difference of opinion from our peers? At least the finish carries with it some shred of unpredictability.
Based on how many ass beatings Bryan has received since S/Slam, I'd book Danielson to win and then have the COO ruin his celebration with some outrageous ruling. So essentially, I'm begging Hunter to channel Regal circa 2001 and go all Duchess of Queensbury on us.
Chrisss: I appreciate your desire to go left field, but that scenario hurts everyone. It makes Orton look bad as it will be the second time in a decade that he won the world title at SummerSlam and dropped it after his first title defense (even if he gets it back the same night or whatever). No matter what, Orton comes out looking weak, having to rely on HHH to bail him out. As for Bryan, it's simply too early for him to win the gold back. I'd have Bryan lose via some sort of shenanigans, and let Show feud with Orton for the next two PPVs. Why? It keeps the angle fresh, Big Show relevant, and Bryan can win back the title at a bigger show like Survivor Series or Royal Rumble.
I just can't see Bryan winning the title this Sunday. No way.
SkitZ: You misinterpreted me again, ****er. I didn't say D-Bry would leave Detroit with the belt... Meant more along the lines of Bryan winning before Hunter pulls the rug out from underneath Danielson by claiming Orton's hand/foot was under the rope, Bryan used an illegal hold, etc. You revisit Goatface's heartbreak from SummerSlam but with a different twist to advance the storyline.
Chrisss: Bah, tomato-tomatoe. As long as we get a good match (which I don't see why we won't) I'll be content with the outcome. Like I said, Bryan winning is probably a bad idea, but since he finally got a measure of revenge against Orton last Monday, WWE Booking 101 will come into play and secure Bryan's fate. So I'm predicting a shady Orton victory but this feud/storyline is far, far from over.
Chrisss' pick: Orton retains the title
SkitZ's pick: Orton retains the title
SkitZ: Did you say Shady? As in Slim Shady... You know he's dropping a new album in November, right!? So psyched.
Chrisss: I know, right? Have you listened to "Bezerk" yet??
Wait, what does Eminem have to do with anything? Is this your way of calling it a night, Candyman?
SkitZ: Not initially, no. But now that you mention it, I wouldn't mind bowing out. What's up with the overall standings? I can't still be trailing you on points, right? My wrestling wisdom is beyond all comprehension so the idea of you beating me at anything is downright comical.
Chrisss: Eh, you got lucky at SummerSlam. That's what happens when I put faith in my fellow Canadian Christian. Alas, it's been fun, but I have more important matters to attend to. Adios, amigo.
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