From what I've heard, last night's No Surrender Pay-Per-View was, for the most parts, a good show. The Bound For Glory Series matches shined, the title matches ranged from entertaining to excellent, and the show seemed to do a great job of planting the seeds for next month's Bound For Glory. Since I did not watch the show, I cannot comment on whether it was good or bad, but I can talk about the results, especially one that has the internet completely livid. The conclusion of a main-event and several month-long series that made my entire Twitter Timeline vomit in unison.
Obviously, I'm talking about Jeff Hardy going over Bully Ray in the final match of the BFG Series.
For many people, Hardy defeating Bully Ray put a damper on a great show. I've seen people freak out over the decision and blast TNA as if Matt Hardy returned and beat Austin Aries for the world title. However, I completely understand the reaction. If you weren't keeping up, the BFG series came down to Hardy, Bully, James Storm, and Samoa Joe, while everybody was predicting the winner would be any of those four (except for Hardy). They weren't wrong for thinking so. Aries vs. Bully Ray made the most sense as it would be the world champion defending against the number one heel in the business today. Aries vs. Storm would have worked too since TNA did a fantastic job building up Storm as a star since his return from hiatus during the summer. Any true wrestling fan would have LOVED to see Aries wrestle Samoa Joe in the main-event of a PPV, but alas, it was not meant to be. TNA shocked the world by giving Hardy the win. I'm bummed Hardy won, but I'm not surprised, and you shouldn't be either.
It was only while conversing with my colleague and buddy The Crow on Twitter that I realized Jeff Hardy is nothing more than TNA's answer to The Viper, Randy Orton. Hear me out. Hardy and Orton are a lot more similar than you might think. Both have their own personal demons, and both have screwed up many times in the past. They've both screwed up to the point that if either guy fails a wellness test or shows up to work unable to compete, he will be terminated. Both are down to their very last life, yet that hasn't stopped either company from pushing them to the moon. With CM Punk now in heel mode, Randy Orton seems to have resumed his spot as the number two face in WWE (sorry, Sheamus). Although Kurt Angle has taken a backseat to the storylines in recent weeks, he's still the number one guy in TNA, and Hardy gets the second-most cheers (Aries is slowly catching up). Both Hardy and Orton are former world champions and two of their respective company's biggest draws.
And that's why letting Hardy win the BFG series is a foolish idea. Like Orton, Hardy does not need to win a tournament to become the number one contender to a world title. Just like The Viper, Hardy can wrestle the curtain-jerker against Gunner one week on Impact, and then call out the world champion the following week. Hardy does not NEED this kind of win, he's big enough of a name that he can be inserted into a world title program any time he wants. While I was considering comparing Hardy's win last night to that of John Cena winning Money in the Bank last July, it's not a fair comparison. Why? The whole "Cena enters MitB and cashes in" storyline lasted less than a month, and Cena failed to win the title. Meanwhile, the BFG series has been going on for months, with the hopes of elevating some struggling stars. Storm, Joe, and Bully had so much more to gain from winning the series than Chris Jericho, The Big Show, and Kane did if they won MitB.
To be fair, I understand why having Hardy challenge for the world title at the biggest PPV of the year is smart for business. TNA should be pulling out all the stops for Bound For Glory, and if they can't put their top star (Angle) in the main-event because of injuries or some other reason, then going with second-best is not a bad move. Aries is yet to prove himself a draw as world champion, so I don't blame TNA for being nervous about letting two guys like Aries and Storm or Aries and Joe main-event their money-maker. But at the same time, they're putting all their eggs into the Jeff Hardy basket. I know he's changed his life since Victory Road 2011, but does TNA really have enough confidence to promote Hardy in the biggest match since that fateful night? Apparently, they do. I just wish they didn't use the BFG series to get Hardy into the main-event spot. If anything, I would have booked Hardy to win the world title over the summer, and for Aries to win the series. This way, Aries is more built up and ready for prime-time, rather than be pushed to world champion a tad earlier than he should have been.
Look, I know Hardy winning the BFG series is a major letdown. I'm a huge fan of Bully Ray and like many of you, I predicted last night was his time. But let's not pretend WWE hasn't made stupid booking decisions in the past, either. In addition to Cena winning MitB last July, what about the entire Brock Lesnar/Triple H feud? Or what about the time Batista beat Orton for the WWE Championship at Extreme Rules, only to vacate the title the next night on RAW because The Animal was already injured? WWE AND TNA are known for their not-so-wise booking decisions, and last night won't be the last time we see one, I guarantee you that.
Instead of moping and feeling bad for Bully, I'm going to try and pump myself up for Aries vs. Hardy next month, since that could be a great match all by itself. Let's just hope TNA has no plans to reunite Immortal by having Hardy turn heel (again), Hogan turning heel (again), and people like Gunner getting more TV time (shudder). No one wants to see THIS brought back to life...
In conclusion, I'm not shocked Hardy won at No Surrender. It makes sense for TNA to book one of their biggest stars in a headlining match. I just don't understand why TNA had to waste such a great, star-making concept like the Bound For Glory Series on a guy that doesn't need the rub.
2. Day 2
As I'm sure you've already heard by now, the verdict for Jerry "The King" Lawler is in and the news is awesome. Lawler suffered NO brain damage from his heart attack and will be back to 100% before we know it.
Since Lawler went down Monday night on RAW, there has been a dark cloud hanging over WWE, the fans, and Lawler's friends and family. Thankfully, the sky has cleared and we can all breathe a huge sigh of relief. What better way to celebrate than reliving some of the most hilarious clips in WWE history?
(Writer's Note: I know both Hustle and Crow have recently shared some of the funniest pro wrestling clips on YouTube, but they forgot about some really good ones. So watch, laugh, and enjoy!)
Video 1: Edge Mocks Ric Flair's Infamous Road Rage Incident
(This, in my opinion, is one of the most under-rated promos of all-time. Back when Edge and Ric Flair were feuding in 2005, Flair got into some problems with the law. Rather than keep a low profile like WWE tends to do nowadays, they turned the incident into an angle to further the feud. It's hard to believe this clip is already seven years old...)
Video 2: Randy Orton Goes Over The Limit
(This is the newest clip on the list, but one of the better ones. Basically, Randy Orton was so ecstatic about hitting an RKO on Mark Henry that he had to literally jump for joy. Judging by the reaction of referee Charles Robinson and Orton's partner Christian, this didn't seem scripted to me...)
Video 3: Kane sets Jim Ross on fire
(Ahhh, a classic. Some people say this is silly, sick, stupid, etc. I say, who cares? J.R. squealing like a pig never fails to get a laugh out of me.)
Video 4: JBL Owns Michael Cole
(A classic JBL & Cole moment. This was back when Cole was a face commentator and more annoying than he is now. Fortunately, JBL was there to put him in his place.)
Video 5: Chris Jericho tells off the fans
(This is kind of cheating, as it's a remix of Jericho telling fans not to touch him, but it still makes me laugh every time. Heel Jericho at his best, really.)
Well, that was fun. You can't take the 'entertainment' out of WWE, I'll give them that much. Here's to many more years of laughter (scripted or not!)
Enjoyed these clips? Liked Hustle or Crow's better? What are your picks for funniest WWE (or TNA) moments of all-time? I'd love to hear/see them!
3. Day 3
Chrisss: Well, Mr. Skitz, it hasn't been that long since our last rendez-vous, but I'm sure you've missed me. Are you pumped for Night of Champions this Sunday?
Skitz: Plenty of peeps are probably scoffing at this weekend's pay per view which is a shame. Doc recently shed an accurate light on this year's installment of NOC and the promise it carries. I feel as if the majority of our beloved IWC are underestimating the card a tad; especially as it relates to the main event.
Chrisss: Jerry Lawler's scare earlier this week didn't help matters, either. CM Punk and John Cena had a great war of words that should add interest to the Pay-Per-View, but the fans just weren't feeling it, and I don't blame them. I spent all of Tuesday checking LOP every fifteen minutes for updates on The King. I didn't care about any other news bits until I learned Lawler would be all right, and I doubt I'm the only one who did that.
Skitz: Isn't it incredible how people constantly slander the poor fellow for still wrestling occasionally (you know... to assist the company in putting over evolving heels) but as soon as the health scared occurred, apologists started coming out of the woodwork. It was a massive sigh of relief for wrestling marks when LOP assured everybody that Lawler would make a full recovery. What a close fucking call too. Thank God Jerry was commentating and not sitting at home when he suffered the heart attack.
Chrisss: You said it, brother! Lawler is lucky he didn't suffer the same fate as poor Eddie (R.I.P.). But let's not dwell on the subject any longer, let's get back to business.
Pre-Show Match: Battle Royal to determine the Number One Contender to the United States Championship
The good news: Antonio Cesaro will be wrestling on PPV! Woo-hoo!
The bad news: There is a good possibility his short reigns comes to an end prematurely. It's no secret Cesaro is not over with the crowds (although not really his fault) and I'm worried WWE will realize the mistake they made by having him lose to a face or returning superstar at Night of Champion. Let's not forget, Cody Rhodes regained the IC title at Extreme Rules only to drop it a month later to the Battle Royal winner, Captain Charisma.
Skitz: Antonio certainly has struggled thus far in terms of connecting with the crowd. Much of that however is because WWE isn't promoting the guy properly. I mean what the flip has Cesaro done since winning the U.S. Title? Not shit. If anything, Swiss-miss has taken a back seat to his talentless valet throughout the woeful feud with Santino. As you mentioned, the dark battle royal for a championship opportunity usually spells trouble for the titleholder and this scenario seems pretty reminiscent. Personally, I believe stripping Antonio of the belt right now would be a serious injustice. Management needs to ride the wave a bit longer before pressing the panic button.
Chrisss: That's exactly the problem. Zack Ryder and Heath Slater have received far more TV time since NOC than Antonio has (although I'm not complaining). As the title-holder of the fourth most prestigious championship in WWE today, you'd think WE would showcase the Swiss JUSTTT a bit more.
I agree that taking the belt off Antonio could potentially destroy his career (at least for the short-term) but we have to acknowledge there's a good possibility it happens. Therefore, I see any of the following guys winning: Ryder, Santino, Brodus, or a returning babyface Mark Henry (shrug).
Skitz: Imagine the uproar that would ensue if Marella regained the hardware... I'd laugh my ass off (and then probably kick a defenseless animal). WWE could go in any direction with Cesaro's opponent on Sunday. The Funkasaurus certainly doesn't deserve a title run and neither does Long Island Iced Z, bitch. Perhaps Ryback should be considered a dark horse? If Skipper ends up in the battle royal, we both know it's a done deal.
Chrisss: Damn, the possibility of Ryback entering and winning never even crossed my mind. I for one hope your theory is wrong because a) Ryback is not ready for a title run and b) The match would do neither guy any favours. Both look to be key players in WWE's future and I don't see the purpose behind jobbing Antonio out to Ryback on Sunday.
Since I have no idea what's going to happen, I'll be cool and stick with Ryder. WWWYKI!
Skitz: Ugh you would. In a blatant display of my infinite wisdom, I'm actually choosing Cesaro to retain against his would-be challenger. Antonio has boatloads to prove and lets hope the foreigner begins showcasing his worth soon. Four weeks in and the clock's already counting down on Swiss-miss' title reign... Yeesh. I blame it on that Aksana bitch.
Chrisss: Meh, she is hot though, I'll give her that much. I never really liked her as a blonde, but then again, I've always preferred brunettes to blondes.
Anyways, no one cares about what kind of girl I'd tap (or do you?). I'm predicting Ryder wins, but Antonio defends regardless who is the last man standing. At least they chose the perfect match to put on the pre-show this time.
Chrisss' pick: Cesaro retains the title
Skitz' pick: Cesaro retains the title
WWE Tag Team Championship: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c.) vs. Daniel Bryan & Kane
Skitz: Hmmmm arguably the second most intriguing bout on the card (despite being thrown together at the last second). First off, this beats the Prime Time Players receiving another shot at the straps by a mile; as well as a Bryan/Kane singles contest. The intention here should be painfully obvious as the ongoing anger management storyline sets up a comedic tag team perfectly. Everyone has marked for the skits and you can't blame them. No matter what happens down the road, The Big Red Machine & D-Bry have created such a dynamic that they can do no wrong. Put the gold on these two and keep the wheel turning.
Chrisss: If there's one guaranteed title change on Sunday, you'd have to assume it's this one. I do feel bad for The Prime Time Players, though. What sense does it make having to defend your number one contendership against a team that has never teamed up before? But I digress, I cannot WAIT to see these two win the straps at NOC. Partly because they're already entertaining, and partly because the titles have to come off Truthston ASAP.
Skitz: Yeah... O'Neil & Young really did get handed the short end of the shit stick, didn't they? Hence why management would've been wise to place the belts on PTP a month or so ago. It does Kofi & Truth absolutely zero good jobbing to a makeshift tandem; compounded with the fact that 95% of the attention will be paid to Anger Management's cohesiveness. The reigning champs are about to get steamrolled at NOC but honestly, I'd prefer if D-Bry & Kane held the straps until 2013.
Chrisss:Considering Young & O'Neil are currently on Vince McMahon's "nice" list, and with rumours flying that Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara are due a run with the belts in the not-so-distant future, I wouldn't go that far. I will say that Bryan and Kane have become two of RAW's shining stars in recent months and giving them the straps Sunday is the no-brainer route.
Skitz: Hey, I didn't predict Anger Management would hold the titles for that long... just saying you wouldn't hear any complaining from me if such was the case. Given how epic the YES Man has been throughout '12 and Kane's body of work since putting the mask back on, there shouldn't be any complaining when they capture gold this Sunday. It's the smartest business move at this juncture considering how flat the current champs have fallen.
Chrisss: They've been boring since the night they were thrown together, but I digress.
Chrisss' pick: Bryan & Kane win the titles
Skitz' pick: Bryan & Kane win the titles
WWE Divas Championship: Layla (c.) vs. Kaitlyn
Ok, I'm confused. Is Kaitlyn really the number one contender? Because from the looks of it, Eve seems to be coming after Layla's ugly-ass championship this Sunday. But maybe that's just me continuing not to give two fucks about the divas division?
Skitz: This is the part I don't quite understand... reports suggest that Eve was slated to win the #1 contender battle royal but Kaitlyn screwed up the finish. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU BOTCH WHO WINS THE MATCH!?! Sweet Jesus. And if things didn't go as planned, why not book a triple threat bout the following week? WWE's creative decisions befuddle me more often than not.
Chrisss: Or, even simpler, let Kaitlyn get her title match on the following RAW or SmackDown, and then name Eve as the challenger at NOC. It's not rocket science, WWE. Anyways, I have no idea what to expect in terms of quality, but I do know Layla's very forgettable reign will continue past Sunday.
Skitz: Oh, now you're complaining too? Folks need to take a breather and learn how to enjoy things once in a fucking while. We could be a lot worse off than Layla as Divas Champion right now. At least the Brit knows what the hell she's doing between the ropes... that's half the battle when it comes to Divas. Truth be told, Kaitlyn's still green as weed but this is a tremendous opportunity for the busty female to learn and mature from the experience. It also beats Layla defending her butterfly belt against Beth Phoenix for the 29th time.
Chrisss: Hey, all I'm saying is if WWE won't treat Kaitlyn as a true number one contender, than how are we, the fans, supposed to take her seriously? On a side note, have you been watching the new NXT? I've fallen in love with Paige, and I really hope she makes the main roster sooner than later. Girl can wrestle, is super hot, and is only 19!
But getting back on track, you agree that Layla retains here, do you not?
Skitz: Definitely. Torres is first in line when the moment comes for Layla to cough up the strap. And who is this Paige character? Never heard of her before. Lemme Google it...
...OMGeezy. Hotness personified. She kinda looks like Natasha Nice and there's nothing wrong with that. Pornstar reference, homie. Certainly worth an image search if you get my drift!
Chrisss: Considering I'm at school right now, that Google Search probably isn't the best idea. But thanks for giving me food for thought!
Once again, we're straying off topic. Pay attention! So yeah, where were we? Talking about boobs, right?
Chrisss' pick: Layla retains the title
Skitz' pick: Layla retains the title
United States Championship: The Miz (c.) vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Sin Cara
Skitz: I don't have an issue with this bad boy as it allows a couple extra relevant midcarders onto the card. Clearly, management are laying the groundwork for Mysterio/Cara at WM29 extremely early which can only be seen as a positive. With that type of slow build, maybe somebody will give a damn about the match come next April. Meanwhile, Sir Awesome and Rey Rey have a rather uneventful feud unraveling which I suppose will run outta steam before the next PPV. Is there any logic in removing the hardware from Mizanin's waist?
Chrisss: Not at all. Miz has not redefined the Intercontinental Championship (yet) but the belt is way more prestigious around his waist than, say, Sin Cara's. Since Miz hasn't even held the title a solid two months, I'd say it's too early to de-crown The Awesome One. Besides, champions have a tendency to retain their titles in multi-man matches, don't they?
Skitz: Yes, they do. A small part of me wishes Cody would exit Boston with the gold since WWE hasn't done jack shit with the second generation star since dropping the belt back in May. Instead of elevating Rhodes on SmackDown, the writing staff continues to let Cody dick around with Sin Cara while Del Rio challenges Sheamus month after month.
Chrisss: Hmmm personally, Cody winning the title would be a step in the wrong direction. I'd rather see Miz retain and enter a REAL feud with someone who could be elevated in return (Brodus maybe?) Either way, my money is on The Miz.
Skitz: Agreed. The former MTV star would likely be directionless at the moment if it weren't for the IC Title. I don't envision much progress in Clay's immediate future. The smarky crowds are beginning to turn on Brodus and aside from the Funkette's physical assets, Clay bores me to tears. Fuck that loaf of shit anyways... you know what's lacking on this card? Some Damien Sandow.
Chrisss: Sadly, I don't see Sandow fitting anywhere on the card. If Santino was still US champion, Sandow would be the perfect guy to win the Battle Royal. Oh, well. I'm sure our saviour will grace us with his presence soon enough.
Chrisss' pick: Miz retains the title
Skitz' pick: Miz retains the title
Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton
Despite this being a non-title match, I'm really looking forward to this baby. I'm a tad surprised there is no gimmick attached considering the number of singles matches they've had in recent weeks, but that doesn't make the action any less appetizing.
Skitz: Touche. I believe the sole purpose of this contest is to put over the Blond Perm and continue establishing him as a legitimate threat to Sheamus' World Heavyweight Championship. Randall picking up the clean victory this past Monday night on RAW is further evidence that all signs point to Dolph this weekend. The Viper & Ziggles have excellent chemistry so from a quality standpoint, this 1-on-1 bout warms my cockles. I wouldn't mind if management utilized Orton to enhance rising stars as punishment for the drug test failure in June. Randy's reached that gear where he can put on a worthwhile match with almost any wrestler.
Chrisss: People shit on Orton all the time but he's been having one great match after another for nearly two years now. Mark Henry, Cody Rhodes, Christian, Wade Barrett and now Ziggler have all benefited from working programs with The Viper. I really hope Ziggler goes over clean this weekend, as a victory by Orton will do no favours for Mr. MitB. You have to imagine this is one of the top matches come Sunday, so these two should be given plenty of time to do their thing.
Skitz: 12-16 minutes would be ideal. Now in all fairness, The Showoff hasn't wowed us with a stellar performance in several months now. If there were ever an event to steal the spotlight, NOC would be it. Dolph needs to remind doubtful fans and the front office just how he earned this position in the first place. Working with future Hall of Famer's such as Jericho & Orton is what the doctor ordered but Ziggler should be outdoing everyone on a consistent basis. But for whatever reason, the Blonde Perm has boasted more 'off' nights as of late which isn't gonna persuade anybody important.
Chrisss: You've noticed that too, eh? Hopefully winning MitB has not gone to Ziggler's head, and he's simply playing it safer now (i.e. toning down the selling). If that is the case, I'm perfectly fine with it, but you're right, Sunday is the perfect stage for Ziggler to wow the critics, mainly due to a lack of 'big' matches.
I'm pretty sure I know who you're going with, but humour me: Ziggler gets the win or does Orton make the IWC hate him even more?
Skitz: Dolph seizes the 'W' by hook or crook. My only request is that The Showoff attempts some ridiculous spot in the closing minutes and Orton counters it into a sick RKO. Something along the lines of what Randy did to Carlito at Unforgiven 2006. Oh and please have Vickie banned from ringside early to spare my eardrums.
Chrisss: I'm going with Dolph getting the clean win. I know he's "Super Orton" but if The Viper can tap out cleanly to Del Rio on SmackDown, he can lose cleanly to Mr. MitB on Pay-Per-View. As for Vickie, can we just get her away from Ziggler already? I feel like it's still 2010 watching her manage Dolph.
World Heavyweight Championship: Sheamus (c.) vs. Alberto Del Rio
Skitz: Hater in the house! Well one positive we'll be able to take away from the ginger and ADR's third consecutive pay per view encounter is the birth of Sheamus' new submission move. Obviously, the cloverleaf has been around forever and the World Champion's been using it since SummerSlam but this Sunday is where I expect The Celtic Warrior to permanently add the hold to his repertoire. When you're a main event level talent and grow accustomed to longer matches, it's important having a trusty submission. Given the temporary ban on the brogue kick, this Sunday should provide the appropriate platform to solidify the cloverleaf as a legit finisher.
Chrisss: I'm liking the revival of the move myself, I just hope they don't pull a Edge/Ziggler from Royal Rumble 2011 where Sheamus uses The Brogue Kick behind the referee's back only to lose it to Del Rio next week on SmackDown due to "disobeying the rules". However, I doubt they'll have Sheamus drop the title that way.
For the record, I am NOT a hater. I gave Sheamus vs. Del Rio at SummerSlam the nod for MOTN only to have 100% of my readers disagree with me. So choose your words wisely, young man.
Skitz: Alright my bad, dude. Perhaps there's hope for you yet. While the odds of The Great White winning decisively are relatively high, is there any chance Sheamus does hit the brogue kick? Leading to Booker stripping him of the belt? That line of booking could set up a blowoff match for the vacant title at HIAC... Yay or nay?
Chrisss: NAY, mainly because Sheamus would most likely win that match, thus interrupting his title reign for nothing. However, Sheamus winning cleanly doesn't help this feud extend to HIAC, does it? Hmmm, screw it, I'm going with The Great White retaining via his submission, and maybe, just MAYBE, Ziggler cashes in after Wade Barrett attacks Sheamus post-match. Not likely, but wishful thinking.
Skitz: Uh yeah... VERY wishful thinking. I'd love to witness the ginger and Wade battle over the World Title after this endless crusade with Dorito concludes. Believe it or not, your fantasy scenario above is highly plausible. You're a couple months off target however as Dolph's cash-in ain't happening until November or December. As far as Night of Champions is concerned, my money's on Sheamus also. I'll keep my fingers crossed that David Otunga shows up at ringside and gets kicked right into a hospital bed. Severe neck surgery for Mr. Hudson = early Christmas gift.
Chrisss: Don't be cruel now. Otunga already walks around with a turtle neck, would a neck brace really make a huge difference? Let the man polish his in-ring skills by giving him more TV (or Superstars) time, don't confine him to a hospital bed! Sheesh.
Chrisss' pick: Sheamus retains the title
Skitz' pick: Sheamus retains the title
WWE Championship: CM Punk (c.) vs. John Cena
FINALLY, CM Punk will main-event a PPV in 2012. It took him nearly ten months to do so, but he got there. For me, this is THE match to look forward to come Sunday evening. You think Cena will be cheered or booed by his hometown fans?
Skitz: Eh, I'm anticipating a mixed reaction. Plenty of boos will rain down on Cenation but nothing like what Chicago threw at him last year at MITB. We've seen yet another layer of Punk's character exposed since RAW 1000 and holy promo wars. If any wrestler in WWE can bring out the best in John Boy, it's the Straightedge Superstar. Although it can be disputed that Cookie Monster held back somewhat, Cena actually cut a better promo than the reigning WWE Champion on two separate occasions since SummerSlam.
Chrisss: To each his own. I think Cena is good on the stick more often than not, so when he cuts "really good promos" I'm not as impressed as others are. As for Punk, his delivery is completely different from Cena's, and I prefer it. But I digress, it's a wrestling match they have on Sunday, not a promo war, and I believe it is indeed Punk's moment to shine brightest.
Before Paul Heyman entered the picture, I figured Cena would win the title at NOC, but that's all changed. It would make no sense for Punk to gain a powerful ally and lose the title now. Besides, Punk dropping the belt would kill all the momentum he's gained since his official heel turn.
Skitz: And derail the momentum Punk's steadily gained heading into January where Rocky awaits the WWE Champion? For a couple months there, I suspected Mr. Sobriety would drop the strap to Cena but recapture it before the Royal Rumble. As Cookie Monster's transformation unraveled however, I'm now playing optimist. Then we find out he's in cahoots with Heyman? There's no way in hell Punk drops the belt to WWE's Poster Boy on Sunday. And how much sweeter could it be than The Best in the World escaping Cena's hometown with the gold?
Skitz: Exactly. Does WWE have the courage to end two consecutive PPVs with the heel getting the win? Because honestly, if I never have to witness another ten-minute, post-match "loser appreciation ovation" thingamajig, it will be too soon. That being said, if Cena wins (which is ALWAYS a possibility), I will be pissed. VERY pissed.
Chrisss: And rightfully so. Cena doesn't need to win any more championships. Realistically, he will sometime between now and 'Mania but NOC? Blasphemy. Punk & Paul E have something shady up their sleeves for this Sunday evening. Either John Boy becomes a victim of highway robbery or chaos erupts and we're treated to a crap DQ finish.
Skitz: I'll take highway robbery any day of the week, especially when it's the main-event of a PPV we're talking about.
Chrisss' pick: Punk retains the title
Skitz' pick: Punk retains the title
Wow, it looks like we agree on every single outcome this time around. That's got to be a first! You copying me or something?
Skitz: Pfffffft, don't flatter yourself, dildo. As far as wins and losses go, this is a rather predictable event. The quality across the board should be awesome however so I'll be ordering.
Chrisss: I'll be watching for free, mainly because school has drained my bank account rather harshly these past few weeks. Nonetheless, it should be a good PPV, with maybe a [good] surprise or two.
Skitz: Yes, sir. And in the meantime, let us rejoice in the Big Slow's absence from television for as long as we can.
Chrisss: Hasn't it been wonderful? No Big Show, no Great Khali, no Lesnar/HHH recaps, very little Jinder Mahal. I guess I can't complain.
Skitz: I could complain about your mediocrity as a columnist but we'd be here all day.
Chrisss: To quote an awesome columnist from around these parts, a dick - EAT IT!
Did You Know?
From Judgment Day 2003 up until No Way Out 2005, every WWE Tag Team Championship change took place on Smackdown, a run of 10 title switches (From Eddie and Tajiri to World's Greatest Tag Team, to Los Guerreros, to The Bashams, to Scotty and Rikishi, to Rico and Haas, to The Dudleys, to Kidman and London, to Dupree and Suzuki, to Van Dam and Mysterio, to The Bashams to Eddie and Mysterio at No Way Out 2005).
(Credit goes to reader Drew for sending in that one.)