My Two Centsss - Survivor Series Predictions (featuring Lolita)
By Super Chrisss
Nov 16, 2012 - 7:24:20 PM
Writer's Note: The bad news? My Pay-Per-View preview partner Skitz is still being held captive somewhere in Siberia which means he won't be joining me to run down the Survivor Series card. The good news? Long-time LOP commenter Lolita has volunteered to fill the void and keep me company. Will she make up for Skitz' absence? Will we get along? Let's find out!
Writer's Note Part Two: This column was recorded last Tuesday and neither of us knew about the pre-show match nor the injury sustained by Cody Rhodes on WWE Main Event, and so neither of those topics will be discussed. Sorry!
Chrisss: Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise? It's not very often that yours truly is joined by a non-male IWC member to preview a Pay-Per-View, especially one of the 'biggest' shows of the year, even though it certainly doesn't feel that way. Lolita, would you like to introduce yourself to the awesome readers?
Lolita: I'd love to! Hi, everyone, I'm Lolita. I've been a wrestling fan for 18 years since the tender age of four. I love it, and I see myself loving until the end of time. I'm super excited to do this column so yay!
Chrisss: This is also her first time doing anything remotely related to writing a column, so we'll go easy on her ;)
Alright Miss Lolita, is there anything you would like to say before we start going over the (cough*AWFUL*cough) card?
Lolita: I'd just like to say that I'm a little disappointed with the lack of direction with this card. They're REALLY gonna have to pull out the stops to make it work.
Chrisss: Quite honestly, the only match I'm looking forward to is Team Ziggler vs. Team Foley, and that's mainly because of the last-minute addition of The Miz. Everything else? Besides the triple threat match for the WWE Championship, nothing about it screams "Survivor Series - BIG PPV" to me. But let's get things started with one of the most random feuds in recent memory:
Lolita: Random feud indeed. I'm more than a little disappointed that they didn't continue Cesaro's feud with Justin Gabriel. I've been hoping for a singles push for Justin for a while now, and that seemingly just isn't going to happen. I think if they want to make Cesaro at all credible as a champion, they need to give him decent feuds, not just feed him opponent after opponent to have glorified squash matches with. That being said, I highly doubt Troof will be the one to wrest the title from his grasp, especially now that Cesaro's character is finally gettin a little more interesting. My pick for this is easy and simple: Cesaro wins, although it'll probably be a good match.
Chrisss: I wasn't a fan of Cesaro and Gabriel's filler match at Hell in a Cell, but I'm pretty sure that was simply an off-night for them. Either way, had they continued the feud three more weeks, it would have been much more interesting than having Truth go after a midcard title that he does not need. I'm glad Cesaro is finally entering a real feud with someone, I just wish it wasn't with Truth, who has been so watered down since his face turn last year. Besides the obvious Cesaro win (at least I hope to God WWE aren't considering putting the belt on Truth), are you at least remotely excited about this match?
Lolita: Um.... Kind of, only because I'm a fan of Cesaro. But I'm not exactly jumping up and down and clapping my hands with glee in anticipation, either. I'm putting my excitement level at about a 4.
Chrisss: That's pretty bad considering it's one of the few titles up for grabs on Sunday. However, I can't exactly disagree with you. Let's just say Cesaro wins an move on.
Chrisss' pick: Cesaro retains the title
Lolita's pick: Cesaro retains the title
Chrisss: Let me understand this. They spend all this time promoting the Aj scandal on RAW AND SmackDown, only for Miss Lee to not even get a match on the PPV? Instead, we get a last-minute number one contender's "match" on RAW and we're stuck with a match WWE officials weren't comfortable putting on the Night of Champions card. Lolita, you're a girl, please help me figure this out.
Lolita: Here's the thing. To understand this, you can't think like a girl, a guy, or a wrestling fan. You have to think like Vince McMahon. Evidently, with Kelly gone, Eve is the new golden girl. Now, Layla is at least slightly more skilled than the average centerfold, so it makes sense to give her the title, right? WRONG. Layla is 34 years old, which for a girl in wrestling is like 50 years old. Enter Kaitlyn. She has almost zero wrestling ability, is even worse at cutting promos than Kelly was, and is just a generally uninteresting character. However, she is 8 years younger than Layla, and is also much more likely to be eager to please than someone who has already been Divas and Women's champion. Although I don't find her particularly attractive, it's my understanding that a large part of the male demographic does.
Chrisss: I find her hot *shrug*. I was ecstatic when she won NXT (especially since I HATE Naomi). Still, giving her a match on a 'huge' PPV like Survivor Series? I just don't get it. I know they need filler, but they might have been better off keeping the women off the card entirely.
Lolita: UGH. NXT was a travesty. AJ should have won. And I agree. I think this is a waste of a match.
Chrisss: I loved the commentary for that season. Michael Cole was hilarious.
Lolita: Omg yes. That was the sole reason I even watched it. Cole and Josh cracked me up. There was an episode where they spent the entire show playing a game on Cole's I-Pad or phone or something, and I was nearly dying of laughter the whole time.
Chrisss: Ah, yes! Good times indeed! I for one am glad the commentators didn't take the season seriously, or else they would have had a stroke trying to justify what we were forced to endure every week. Getting back on track though, another title defense is in order for Eve, is it not?
Lolita: I suppose so. Personally, I'm hoping that Kaitlyn wins and begins a feud with AJ, her former BFF. Although it feels like that would make too much sense.
Chrisss: At the snail's pace this scandal is going, we're going to get Vickie Guerrero vs. Aj for the divas title at Wrestlemania (shudder). I like Kaitlyn, but she is far, FAR away from being ready to run as the divas champion.
Lolita: Agreed. I think she needs more refining, and with the right amount of training she could be good. I do see occasional flashes of brilliance from her though, and it gives me some hope for her future. But for right now, I think Eve will keep the title.
Chrisss: I still think Aj will be the one to dethrone Eve, and I think Aj vs. Eve is the biggest divas match they can give us at WM29, based on the current roster. Plus, who knows? Maybe Eve will find a way to get over between now and April.
Chrisss' pick: Eve retains the title
Lolita's pick: Eve retains the title
Lolita: UGH. Ok, look. I'm really trying not to let my immense dislike of Show control my opinion on this match, but it's very difficult. I think him as champion is a travesty, although this seemingly sudden title reign does make me wonder if retirement is on his horizon.
Chrisss: I hope you're right about that. Big Show squashing William Regal on RAW last Monday was a travesty. Why job out one of your most talented superstars to a guy who not only sucks, but kills the crowd with his mere presence? The fact that Regal - who spent the majority of 2012 off television - got a louder reaction than your world champion with the "ironclad contract" should say something.
Lolita: Tell me about it. I was so excited to see Regal, and then I got really pissed off when Show squashed him. Several curse words were hurled at my screen. Unfortunately, I think Show will retain this Sunday. WWE doesn't seem to have completed whatever agenda they have with him. Actually, I'm hoping this leads to a feud with Wade Barrett, who was taken out by Show in the first place.
Chrisss: I'm actually fine with Show keeping the title, as I think Sheamus' character has been refreshed since losing the belt a few weeks back at HIAC. I'm not exactly thrilled about their match-up, especially since I have a feeling this feud will extend into TLC next month, but at least it's not Del Rio getting another title shot.
Lolita:That's true. The Del Rio thing, I mean, although it's also true that this is the most interesting Sheamus has been since he won the title in the first place.
Chrisss: Amen to that. Big Show wins, and this feud unfortunately continues, with a Dolph Ziggler cash-in creeping closer and closer...
Chrisss' pick: Show retains the title
Lolita's pick: Show retains the title
Chrisss: Sigh...what a shame. I was looking so forward to Team Punk vs. Team Foley but then Vince's ADHD had to kick in and we're stuck with a random feud featuring the aftermath feuds from HIAC. The only saving grace of this match? None other than The Miz, who may either kick off a face turn, screw his team, or get his career back on track.
Lolita: Yeah... I'm SOOOO very disappointed by this. I was so stoked for Team Punk vs Team Foley. Partly because it meant Punk was guaranteed a solid year as champion, but more so because it was such a stacked match. You've got Punk, the champ. Ziggler, the best seller in the business. Team Friendship (I refuse to call them Team Hell No), easily the most entertaining part of WWE programming and probably the most over as well. Team Rhodes Scholars, who have meshed SO well together. Then to cap it, Ryback, the monster who haunts Punk's nightmares. The stage was set. It was without a doubt going to be amazing. Now, as you said, the only real saving grace is the addition of the Miz, and his incredibly interesting dynamic with Team Friendship. This is a tough one to call, because Miz is such a wildcard here.
Chrisss:I hear ya. It's interesting to note that Orton, Miz, and Rhodes, have all been sole survivors in years past. Who do you think gets the win (and becomes the sole survivor(s))?
Lolita: Uhhhh.. Geez. That is a really hard one. I'm going to project two scenarios here. Scenario One: Miz completes a face turn and wins it for Team Foley. Scenario Two: It's down to Kofi, Miz, and and one member of Team Ziggler. Miz gets the tag, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Kofi, allowing him to be pinned, then lays the beatdown on the final member of Team Ziggler to get the win for Team Foley.
Chrisss: That's an interesting scenario you pitched there (the latter). Personally, I think Team Ziggler has a lot more to gain with their team being slightly younger and hungrier (minus Del Rio). I'm predicting Miz will end up costing one or both members of Team Hell No the match, and Team Ziggler gets the win. My sole survivors are Barrett and Ziggler.
Lolita: Interesting. I wouldn't mind seeing that. And yeah, I think Miz will be involved somehow be involved in something with Team Friendship. Maybe after the PPV he'll find a partner and feud with them. OR what would be really cool would be if he joined them and they defended the title under Freebird rules.
Chrisss: THAT would be awesome. It keeps all three men occupied while providing us the viewers with plenty of ham AND getting Miz over as a face until all three go their separate ways. I'm glad we're finally split on a decision by the way, it's boring when we pick the same winners from top to bottom. Anyways, onto the main-event!
Chrisss' pick: Team Ziggler wins (Sole survivors: Ziggler & Barrett)
Lolita's pick: Team Foley wins (Sole survivor: Miz)
Lolita: Oh, crap. This is the match where what I want to happen and what I think will happen are just two completely different things. I'm going to come out and say my pick right away. I think Cena will win. That is the complete opposite of what I want. If you know me at all, you know that the only person I love more than CM Punk is Austin Aries, so OBVIOUSLY I want Punk to retain. However, I have been listening to the rumors that they want to make it Cena vs Rock at the RR, and then Cena and Rock again at WM. I gotta admit, that's really messing with my head.
Chrisss: I don't give a shit what's best for business, that better NOT happen. Cena/Rock was like Rock/Hogan ten years earlier - cool once, but should never, ever take place again. As long as Rock, Lesnar, and maybe Taker or even Austin will appear on the WM29, they don't need Cena vs. Rock II/III to get buys. I don't believe the rumours, fuck that nonsense. Punk gets the win at Survivor Series, retains his title until Royal Rumble, and we get Punk vs. Rock.
Lolita: I really hope you're right. I've become incredibly jaded over the years when it comes to wrestling though, so I don't like to get my hopes up too much.
Chrisss: It's not about hopes, it's logical. Punk has been made to look like a bitch since the weeks before HIAC. It would be a tragedy for his title run to end now that he has established himself as the number one heel in the company and without a win over Ryback AND Cena. Sorry, I'm going with Punk, all the way.
Lolita: Hey, don't be sorry. That's what I want. There's just something in the back of my mind that keeps saying that Cena is gonna win somehow. I don't know why on EARTH I would ever think something like that would happen. It's not like it ever has before.
Chrisss: Maybe Cena does win only for Vickie to come out and reverse the decision as payback for the scandal? Who knows. Either way, I boldly predict Punk retains this Sunday.
Chrisss' pick: Punk retains the title
Lolita's pick: Cena wins the title
Well, that was fun. I won't be watching the PPV on Sunday, but I hope WWE pulls a rabbit from out of their hat and puts on a decent show. Any final comments, partner?
Lolita: Just that I sincerely hope this PPV turns out better than it looks on paper. I most likely will be watching, and hoping for the best. Until then, Vote for Punk!
Chrisss: I couldn't have said it better myself. Thanks again for keeping me company, Lolita. Skitz will be so jealous!
Lolita: Thanks for having me! It's been fun :)
Did You Know?
John Cena is undefeated at Survivor Series, having a record of 6-0.
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